


To Hope

by hawkfurze



Category: Far Cry 5, Far Cry New Dawn
Genre: Animal Death, Blood, Burns, Gore, Mutilation, Other, Self Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2019-11-05 18:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 28
Words: 118,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17923703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawkfurze/pseuds/hawkfurze
Summary: For the price of your happiness, Hope County will prosperGriffin would rather not have Joseph's Judge following him around like a ghost, but after overhearing one late night conversation, Griffin wonders exactly who this stranger is and what they are scared of.





	1. Not What You Seem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I can't trust anyone or anything these days_  
>  If you are who you say you are then show me your face  
> Know enough to say you are not what you claim to be  
> I've kept close watch upon you and I don't like what I see

Boom.

Another bomb fell overhead, the explosion threatening to crack the bunker walls. A man and a woman were alone, save for a corpse, as the room around them shook. The man had his back towards the woman, who was slumped on the floor, handcuffed and leaning onto the bed next to her. Despite her injuries, the woman has somehow still managed to survive less scathed then him, but even so, if the man had not taken mercy on this woman, she would of been dead, burning along with the corpses of her companions, who have perished in the wreck he pulled them both out of.

The man closed his eyes as the sound of another muffled boom filled the room, almost completely hidden by the emergency warning being played on the radio.

As the message ended, the man heard a noise rustling behind him, followed by a gasp and rattle of chains as the woman finally woke up. He turned to face her, slowly.

The woman was staring, mouth slightly gaped, at the body next to her. It belonged to an old man, the one who had almost as much hand into the Collapse as the woman did. 

“You know what this means?” He asked her. The woman looked up at him, like she couldn’t believe who was standing before her. He began to slowly walk towards her, only needing to take a couple of steps to cross the small space the room provided.

“It means the politicians have been silenced,” The man answered as he walked, “It means the corporations have been erased. It means the world has been cleansed by God’s righteous fire.”

The man raised his arms to the ceiling, as if waiting for the destruction above ground to come and embrace him. The woman sat, silent. The man lowered his arms and made the last few steps until he was standing right in front of the woman.

“But most of all,” he said as he sat down in a chair next to the bedside, leaning in closer to the woman, “it means I was right. The Collapse has come.”

The last line came out as a whisper, loud in the near silent room. A look of understanding, then horror, began to appear on the woman’s face, but before she could open her mouth to speak, the man interrupted her.

“The world as we know it… is over. I waited so long… I waited so long for the prophecy God whispered in my ear to be fulfilled.”

The man was speaking so quietly, the woman had to lean in closer to hear him. The man continued.

“I prepared my family for this moment,” The man raised his hands towards the woman, who moved away from the man. He lowered them and leaned in even closer.

“And you took them from me. I should kill you for what you’ve done,” he almost growled. The woman tried to move back more, only to be met with the wall behind her. She seemed to shrink in on herself, hiding behind her arms away from the man that towered over her. The man wanted to smile, wanted to feel pleased for the terror he was making this woman feel, as payment for the pain she brought onto him when she slaughtered his family, but instead, he forced those feelings away and continued.

“But you’re all I have left now. You’re my family, and when this world is ready to be born anew, we will step into the light” he said. The last sentence seemed to have made the woman tense up even more. The man continued to watch her, aware that she knows what he will say next.

“I am your Father, and you are my child. And together, we will march to Eden’s Gate,” he finished. He slowly leaned back into his chair, watching the woman more still.

There was a reason God had sent this woman to kill his brothers and sister, a reason God decided to spare Hell in that car accident. And now, it was the man’s job to make sure she understood her new purpose.

Yes, God has a plan for the woman, but so did he…

———————

_17 years later_

Griffin carefully steered the boat down the man made river path New Eden had built around the two southern islands in the middle of the ruined Henbane river. He grumbled a bit before he managed to straighten the boat, satisfied he wouldn’t be sending himself and Joseph Seed out flying into the monster infested river under them.

Joseph Seed, what an odd character. First he appears out of nowhere, like a ghost, telling him to find signs, to cleanse his sin in fire, to break his past, speaking of white horses and the end of the world. Griffin didn’t understand any of whatever the man had rambled on about, just keen on following his instructions. He took the Father’s pendent and used the clues provided to find whatever he needed to get inside New Eden’s Compound. He found what he was looking for in the ruins of an old bunker.

There, among the mad teachings of New Eden and other letters and things Griffin has so intelligently decided to pocket for himself, Griffin found his “key,” a book that allowed him inside the compound so he may speak with Joseph Seed.

Of course, if Joseph was even at the New Eden compound in the first place. Griffin didn’t do a good job hiding his disappointment when the masked figure that had greeted him at the door didn’t lead him to the Father himself, but to some kid named Ethan who claimed to be in charge.

“Find my father's remains so New Eden finally knows that the Father is dead and I am their real prophet,” he begged Griffin, “and I will help you and your friends in any way I can, I swear of it.”

Griffin had assumed the kid was not too far off from being right, but was surprised to find, not only a sanctuary on the other side of the toxic valley he was sent into, but to find Joseph Seed himself, waiting for Griffin’s arrival. The man spoke to Griffin as if he knew who he was before Griffin even spoke a word. In unnerved him, seeing how much trust the old man already seemed to have for him. 

Joseph Seed has called him his savior, his shepherd. Griffin wanted to laugh.

But of course he didn’t. His arrival seemed to have made the old man happy and if Joseph Seed, some isolated hippie living in the woods, talking to a tree Griffin is pretty fucking sure was loaded up on some old prehistoric drugs, was what was going to make New Eden help Prosperity, then Griffin was sure as hell going to let the man ramble.

Of course, that also means having to bring him home, which is the exact opposite of what Ethan asked him to do, but what else could Griffin do? Joseph was on the damn boat, so he might as well take him back. New Eden will be happy about their “Fathers” return and Ethan can learn to shut up and cope.

And besides, Griffin was starting to like Joseph. He couldn’t see the big deal about him, so what if people followed him religiously, Griffin would of too if he was in Hope County when the Collapse happened. And he can’t forget about everything he saw, that creature he fought, the embodiment of his “sins.” Thomas was right about New Eden having some strange power, it was all Joseph. Joseph Seed and his magical fucking tree.

The boat drifted to the edge of the river and Joseph got off, waiting for Griffin to follow him before leading him to the New Eden Compound entrance. The two stepped into the settlement, surprised to find the town empty.

“Where did they go?” Griffin asked, confused, but Joseph raised a hand to silence him, looking off into the quiet town.

The Peggie’s disappearance was answered soon enough, as Joseph and Griffin reached where Ethan lived, they discovered the town gathered near him, watching him speak, so sure of Joseph’s death. A disgruntled Carmina, who Griffin had to leave behind during his search for Joseph, stood nearby with the masked person from earlier, her arms crossed at her chest. She shook her head every few sentences, and glanced up at the silent and unmoving figure beside her.

Joseph began to walk towards his son, Griffin following right behind him, getting partially through the crowd before being recognized.

“Father?” Ethan asked, the look of disbelief on his face.

“The Father! He’s here, he has returned!” started to fill the air as people reached out, each one of them wanting to greet Joseph. 

Joseph made his way to Ethan, standing next to him as he turned to the crowd.

Griffin had meanwhile shuffled up in between the masked figure and Carmina as Joseph began to speak to Ethan, answering his sons questions.

“Hey, did I miss much while I was gone?” He asked her, “they didn’t try to eat you or something?” She shook her head.

“No, he has been nice enough,” she said, “kept trying to get me to agree with him that Joseph Seed was dead, but, well, you know,” Carmina tilted her head at Joseph.

The masked figure nudged Griffin, pointing at the bickering family as they tried to pull Griffin’s attention back to the scene in front of them.

Joseph has begun to speak to the crowd. They watched him silently, as he spoke of God’s plan.

“God has sent us his sword,” Joseph said, looking directly at Griffin. The crowd and both the masked figure beside Griffin and Carmina looked at him. Griffin gave a small wave to the people around him, their attention quickly returning back to Joseph as he continued to speak.

“No!” Ethan screamed, interrupting his father, “You abandoned us, and now you return, to what? To assume you can still lead? I am in charge here!”

“No you are not, the Father is!” A yell came from the crowd, more people speaking in agreement. Ethan faced them.

“New Eden follows me!!” He insisted, causing the crowd to erupt in more protests.

Joseph placed a hand on his sons shoulder and began to talk to him, calmly explaining God’s will while still pointing at Griffin, who wish Joseph would take that hand and point it somewhere else.

“Sometimes we must sacrifice what we want for the greater good,” Joseph said. Ethan shook his head.

“What have you ever sacrificed?” Ethan finally said, causing a couple of gasps to come up from the crowd. It suddenly grew cold, Griffin could feel the Peggie’s discomfort as his own, even if he didn’t understand why. The masked figure took a step towards Ethan and Joseph, but must of thought better of it and stepped back, waiting to see what Joseph does next.

Ethan turned away from Joseph and began walk back to the large building at the back of the compound. Joseph watched him go, an unreadable expression on his face.

“So, I guess that is it then?” Griffin finally said.

“Yes. You should return home to your friends, let them know that my family now has the courage to fight not only at night, but in the day as well,” Joseph shook his head before he looked at the masked figure, who perked up when he met their gaze. He seemed to think for a moment before he nodded to himself.

“Take my Judge with you. They are my shadow and they will help you with taking down these Highwaymen. They speak no words, for the only language they speak is violence.”

Griffin felt a small shiver up his spine, followed by a feeling of unease. He wasn’t sure how he felt about having a silent masked stranger following him around, never mind following him AND Carmina, and if anything happened to her because of the Judge, well, Griffin didn’t like to think about what Kim would do to him.

The Judge didn’t say anything, but looked away from Joseph when he spoke. Griffin didn’t need them to speak for him to know that they did not like this either.

“You are also free to stay in my home while at the Compound,” Joseph gestured to the house behind him, the one Ethan disappeared into, “we can find you a place to sleep and you can leave at sunrise. Whatever you need to do, please, do it soon. My family can’t keep fighting forever.”

He took a couple of steps towards Griffin and placed his hands on Griffin’s shoulders, leaning in close to whisper in his ear.

“Remember God's gift,” he said, speaking so quietly Griffin had to strain to hear him, “do not waste it.”

Joseph pulled away from Griffin and began to walk away, the Judge quickly catching up to walk behind him, heading into the home Ethan entered. 

“That was… surprisingly easy,” Griffin said, “are you sure these people are as bad as your mother says they are?”

“Mom and Dad say so.” Carmina said, sounding only a little uncertain, “but I don’t think so. I met Joseph Seed once before.”

“Really? Your never told me about that,” Griffin said, looking down at Carmina and raising an eyebrow.

“He gave me food, once. Dad was mad about it, but I don’t understand why, they’ve left us in peace since people first started to leave the bunkers,” Carmina shrugged, “it seems silly to think about it now. We have New Eden’s support, we should be getting back to Prosperity before the Twins attack us again.”

“Let’s sleep first, before we pass out on our feet,” Griffin said. Between having to walk all the way from Prosperity to New Eden’s Compound, multiple drug trips, and him trying to understand all of the things Joseph swore up and down God told him, Griffin had no desire to go anywhere at the moment. If he had it his way, he’d be in a warm bed, dreaming about the mean brew Selene was able to make him, but Prosperity was miles away, so Griffin took Joseph’s kind offer and walked on inside into his home.

——————

Night had truly fallen. New Eden’s Compound laid silent, the chirping of the crickets only interrupted by very distant gunshots and the occasional whispered report from returning Chosen. Griffin was laying in an old bed, one that was more uncomfortable than the one he had back home. 

Carmina slept nearby, having fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Griffin remembered nights in New York City, where he lived before the Collapse. When he was 17, he and his friends would have run of their neighborhood, hanging out in alleys until almost midnight. Carmina didn’t get to have that luxury. Having to help her mother protect Prosperity from the Highwaymen’s attacks exhausted the kid, leaving little time for her to act like a normal teenager.

Ethan was also there, much farther away from the two. He didn’t say much to Griffin before he too went to sleep. He must still be mad at him, but Griffin couldn’t bring himself to be mad about it. He’ll let Ethan throw his tantrum, he had better things to think about anyway.

Griffin turned to his side so he was facing a wall, hoping that he may find sleep easier if he wasn’t facing the fire. He had thought that after today's events, he would be tired enough to fall asleep quickly. Apparently, this was not to be the case as his eyes shot open again when someone opened the shacks doors, walking into the room, before stopping.

“Hello,” Joseph said, quietly, a greeting. Griffin was about to turn over and give the man a piece of his mind when another voice spoke.

“Hello, Father,” a hoarse and tired voice said, but not one he recognized, this voice belonged to a woman. Keeping his eyes closed, Griffin slowly turned back over and slightly opened one eye.

Joseph closed the shack door behind him as the Judge stepped silently out of the shadows. Damn, Griffin didn’t even know they were in the room, he had though they’d left with Joseph earlier, but where was the woman they were greeting?

His question was answered quickly when he heard her speak again and he realized that the woman’s voice wasn’t from a newcomer, it belonged to the Judge.

“You should be asleep,” Joseph said quietly, to avoid waking anyone up, “you’ll be leaving in the morning with the Captain and the girl.”

“I don’t want to leave,” the Judge said. They looked over at Carmina and shook their head, “I’m your shadow, I’m your Judge. The only place I have is here, with you.”

“And I need you out there with the Captain.”

“But who is going to protect you here?” The Judge asked, “your son wished so desperatley for you to be dead. I’m worried about what he’s going to do, now that you’re home, and if I can’t protect you-“

The Judge was cut off by Joseph placing a hand on their shoulder. The Judge bowed their head.

“I’m sorry,” they said, quietly.

“No one here is more worried about Ethan than me,” Joseph said quietly to the Judge.

“I’m worried that his Pride is going to make him do something rash,” The Judge admitted. They crossed their arms, still looking down at the ground, “I’ve seen his Wrath. It’s been manifesting more and more, ever since those sinners have been making a bigger push at trying to reach us. He wanted you to be dead, so everyone would put their faith in him instead of you.”

“I have been well aware of this,” Joseph said. When the Judge didn’t speak, he continued, “Ethan has always struggled with his Pride, even more so than his mother did. I am worried he will have trouble controlling it.”

“Then let me stay,” the Judge interrupted, “I can’t go back, I don’t want to go back.”

“You’re afraid,” Joseph said, more quietly still. Griffin moved his arm under his head so he could hear with both ears.

“Yes, I am,” the Judge agreed. There was silence. 

“You have no reason to be,” Joseph finally said, “God has not told me it was my time, not yet. Your place, for now, is with the Captain. I saw you by his side, you both will take the fight to the Highwaymen and you will cleanse Eden of their filth.”

“But Ethan-“ The Judge began again, but stopped when Joseph gave them a look.

“I will be fine on my own. Do not let your Sloth get in the way of what must be done. This is mine, and God’s, will.”

The Judge bowed their head again and was silent. Griffin expected them to continue their argument, but they sighed.

“Yes, Father,” they said. Joseph reached a hand to the back of the Judges head and leaned his head forward until his forehead touched theirs. The two of them stood like that for a moment until he pulled away.

“Go, rest,” Joseph insisted. The Judge nodded and walked past Joseph, closing the door softly behind them.

What was that? The whole conversation had taken Griffin’s curiosity and made him feel more awake than he was when he first laid down. What did the Judge not want to go back to? Prosperity? Or perhaps they use to be a prisoner to the Highwaymen. But why be mute and cover their face? What exactly were they hiding from?

These questions, which have made Griffin feel so awake moments ago, slowly lulled him into a deep sleep, where he dreamed about fruit covered trees and strangers with no faces.

——————

“Here’s another!” Carmina called, waving the old pack of duct tape in the air. Griffin walked over and took it from her, putting the tape into his bag. The Judge was nearby, leaning against the wall of the old, partially destroyed, barn they were looting. A couple of Highwaymen corpses laid around the ruins, arrows showing how they met their deaths. A courtesy of the Judge. 

Carmina noticed the Judge and put her hands on her hips. 

“You know, you can help,” she said. The Judge nodded, slinging their bow across their back before walking inside the ruined barn.

“They’re so creepy,” Carmina said, “I keep forgetting they’re following us, they’re so quiet. Do you think they can even talk?”

So she didn’t hear the Judge and Joseph’s argument last night. Griffin had wanted to ask her and Ethan if they knew they could talk, but with Ethan still being pissed off at him and their new friend following them as they left New Eden’s Compound, Griffin had not had the chance to ask them in private.

“Probably not,” Griffin lied. Better keep their new friends secret for now, “but they are creepy. Maybe they’re a special kind of Chosen.”

“At least the Chosen talk,” Carmina said, “the mask wouldn’t bother me so much if I knew there was something human under it.”

Griffin had many questions for the Judge, but doesn’t know where to even begin. Guess he could at least tell them he knows they can speak, maybe that can be the first icebreaker between them, for better or for worse.

Griffin made up his mind and turned to Carmina.

“Hey, we haven’t checked inside that old silo there,” Griffin said, pointing to the nearby busted silo, “why not see if we can find more supplies and, meanwhile, I’ll see if I can find our new friend.”

“Will do, Cap,” Carmina said, and she walked over to the silo, disappearing inside. Griffin turned to the old barn and walked in. Inside, the Judge was kneeling in front of an old box, shuffling through its contents. They stopped their search for a moment to look over at Griffin before they continued.

Griffin took a few casual steps inside, his hands in his pants pockets, before he started to speak.

“So, how long have you been with New Eden?” He asked. The Judge continued to shuffle through the box, giving a small hiss as a reply.

“Not much of the talking type?”

A growl answered him. Griffin rolled his eyes.

“Cut that shit out, I know you can talk,” he said, walking up to the Judge until he was standing right next to them. The Judge stopped what they were doing and looked up.

“I heard you, last night, talking to Joseph. I heard everything,” Griffin said.

More silence.

“Carmina didn’t hear anything, but I’m sure she also would wonder why you left Prosperity,” Griffin said.

“Not from Prosperity,” the Judge growled, so quietly Griffin thought he had imagined it.

“Oh, so you’re from the Highwaymen? Or did you move here, after the world Collapsed?”

“I am Joseph’s Judge and that is all you need to know,” the Judge continued to shuffle through the boxes contents.

“Well, I’m sure Carmina would like to know that you can say more than just snake noises,” Griffin said, “Why not talk more, people would start to warm up to you-“

The Judge has started to stand when he mentioned Carmina and Griffin quickly found himself thrown and pinned to the wall. The box fell over, tipping all of its contents onto the floor with a loud clanging noise. The Judge grabbed Griffin by the neck and leaned in close.

“You tell no one,” they began, “nothing about what you heard, or I swear, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

“I’m suppose to be your savior, remember,” Griffin smiled as he felt the Judge put more pressure on his neck. “What are you so afraid of?” He choked

The Judges answer was interrupted by quick footsteps and they let go of Griffin, stepping back as Carmina appeared.

“I heard a loud noise,” she said. Griffin pointed down at the upturned box.

“Just knocked that over, that’s all,” he said, glancing over at the Judge. The Judge didn’t say anything, just nodded in agreement.

“Well, be more careful,” Carmina said. She handed Griffin another pack of duct tape. “That should be all of it. We should get moving.”

“I agree,” Griffin said. Carmina walked out the barn, Griffin went to follow, until the Judge grabbed his jacket sleeve. Griffin turned to face them.

“I won’t tell her, or anyone, anything. I’ll keep your secret, for now,” Griffin said, “But you’re going to have to learn to trust me, and trust Carmina, sooner or later.”

“I’m trying to protect her,” the Judge said quietly. 

“From what?” Griffin asked. The Judge didn’t reply.

They let go of Griffin and walked out of the barn, leaving him to brush himself off before following, more questions swimming in his head now than they were that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it begins. I accidentally deleted the old notes.
> 
> Title is from The Stranger by lord Huron


	2. Be Like Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Well now that I'm older I'm doing what I can  
>  But everybody round me want me to be like them  
> When people tell me that I gotta fall in  
> line I say, "You go get yours, I'll go get mine"_

The line in front of Griffin stretched on a distance disappearing into an underground tunnel a couple yards away. He sighed and waved the next car forward, taking the tired looking mans money from his hand before he drove off, the man not getting that much far away before he hit another line of traffic. Griffin helped the person that was behind him and leaned against the booth wall, bored and exhausted. 21 years old and he already was feeling like he was 50.

Traffic slowly crawled forward and Griffin was able to take the next man's money, who glared at him before he sped forward. Asshole.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned his head to see a co-worker of his, standing there impatiently.

“You’re free to go,” she said. Griffin grabbed his jacket and put it on as he ran out the door, before anyone else could call him over to do more toll work.

Griffin hated his job. It was boring and the people who came in droves into New York City were just as awful. If he had it his way, Griffin would of left the city by now, off to college partying like his friends were doing.

But he was poor and college was expensive, something he didn’t feel was worth getting thousands of dollars in debt for. Griffin was one of his lucky classmates who was still allowed to stay with his family, but he didn’t know how long that was going to last before his parents got tired of having him sit around, single, no drivers license, and no plans for a better career. He was lost on what to do other than continue what he was doing now.

Griffin left his favorite coffee shop, a large cup of a dark roast in hand, and set off down the road, looking for the stairs to the subway he usually took home. The streets were crowded, Griffin had to push himself between multiple groups of stopped tourists before he reached the road his line stopped at.

It was still only midday, but with all of Griffin’s friends off living better lives without him, he had no plans. Not fun nights out getting in trouble on the streets of New York City anymore, he only had his own lonesome self. Griffin could not help but feel resentful at them for it, for ditching him in this crummy city while they all can see whatever else is past these tall, gloomy, buildings.

Griffin took a sip of his drink, reaching the subway stairs and walking down them. He paid for his fair and stepped through the gates, heading over to a wall to lean on as he waited for his train. He had a while.

In all honesty, Griffin should probably quit his job. It paid good enough, yes, but it was aggravating having to deal with assholes who drove in every day. He would much rather be out of the city doing literally anything else. Maybe be a farm hand?

That sounds like a good idea, he thought. He always wanted to see the countryside, maybe he can find himself a job out west, some place like Kansas or Nebraska. He didn’t know anything about working on a farm, but he could learn. He’s young and doesn’t have anything else better to do.

As Griffin was thinking of looking up what other possible places he could live on a farm at, the ground above him shook, followed by a loud boom, the lights above them flickered. He and the few other pedestrians looked up, confused, as another boom, followed by screams, came from above. 

What the hell was going on?

His question was answered when sirens went off, and not the police kind. These were the kind you only heard in movies, the ones that said “you better get hell underground before you fucking die.”

Someone was launching nukes on New York City.

Another boom went off, one that sounded much closer than the last two, shaking the subway. Griffin was about to go investigate when people started flooding into the station, jumping and crawling over the gate in order to get away from the explosions above.

The room became packed. Griffin was pushed roughly against a wall by the tide of people, spilling his coffee all over him and those surrounding him, but no one cared. They all wanted a space away from the devastation above, but there was just not enough room for all of them to stand on that platform.

Griffin watched as one young man tried to desperately grab a woman, to prevent her falling into the tracks, but he couldn’t keep his grip on her. She fell in just as bright lights shined down from the tunnel. Griffin looked away before the train arrived, but horrified screams from the man confirmed that the woman wasn’t going to be coming back up. More people around him were crying, a couple of people screaming every time an explosion went off above them.

The crowd was like this for a long time, then slowly settled as the booms above came fewer and quieter. Then, silence.

Griffin stood still, gripping the wall behind him. Around him, people begin to mummer, each with their own questions about what happened. After a very very long time, the crowd started to part, and a police officer rose above the seas of heads, standing on something to make himself tower over the people around him. He looked pale and was visibly shaking, as he pulled out a microphone, twisted the knob on the side of it, and lifted it up to his mouth. He took a deep breath.

“You all need to be strong,” the officer said, “We have had a nuclear attack, but we are unsure, at the moment, who exactly from.”

The mummers grew louder, but then quickly subsided, waiting for the officer to continue speaking.

“Most of New York City is destroyed,” the officer continued, “We have not received word from anyone, not the military nor the White House. We are on our own.”

Griffin listened in growing disbelief. Things couldn’t possibly get worse, could they? He thought.

And then the lights went out.

\--------------

“Wow, Lollipop, I can feel that one from here!”

Griffin spit some blood on the ground and raised his weapon, a cracked wooden bat, as the next Highwayman ran at him. The man threw a punch that Griffin dodged, before countering with a blow into the man’s stomach. The man hunched over and Griffin proceeded to whack the man in the back of the head, breaking the old wooden bat in the process. Griffin stood up straight, breathing heavily. The corpses of dead people and animals, as well as the slowly growing fire Highwaymen with flamethrowers started, surrounded him in the pit and the crowds above cheered at the bloodlust below.

“This is the big one!” The announcer yelled, “our reigning champion is zip lining down right now! Can Lollipop beat him?”

“This is the last one kid, send him home!” Irwin yelled next to Carmina and the Judge. The 3 of them were above the pit, watching Griffin fight tooth and nail. 

Griffin gave Irwin a thumbs up from below. His body was covered in scratches and bite marks, and he winced as he lowered his arm. That one fighter, whose old rusted pipe he was picking up now, must of gotten him good. He doesn’t think it’s broken, but hopefully one of these Highwaymen, or better yet Carmina or the Judge, may know some first aid.

Griffin looked up and quickly moved to the side, just avoiding getting kicked in the face by the Fighter Pit’s champion, who had ziplined down from above to fight him.

A man armed with a spiked bat and a shield now faced Griffin, glee shining in his eyes as he looked at his newest victim. 

“Really now, you need those toys on you in a fight?” Griffin yelled. The man charged in retaliation, moving quicker than Griffin anticipated.

He dodged and dodged again, trying to keep space between him and the champion. The flames around them grew bigger as other Highwaymen set more of the arena on fire, forcing the champion and Griffin to remain close together.

“Looks like Lollipop may be in trouble!” The announcer yelled, and the crowd laughed. Next to Carmina, the Judge looked away.

Griffin brought the pipe up to block the Champions newest attack, the scrapping of metal on metal causing sparks to fly. The crowd cheered again.

Griffin fended off the mans next blow then charged, tackling the champion. Surprised, he stumbled, and tried to regain his balance. Griffin used this moment to take the pipe and bring it down on the man, but the champion managed to raise his shield before the blow could land on his head.

“Oh, so close!” The announcer yelled. The cheers and shouts grew louder.

Griffin was shoved off the man and landed on his ass. He got up quickly, but the man was already charging at him. Griffin found himself shoved closer to the fire that was still slowly growing. The crowd cheered more, enjoying the show below.

The champion charged again and Griffin moved to the side, he ran right past him and found himself just on the edge of the flames. The champion coward back, holding his shield up to protect himself, but was shoved from behind by Griffin.

With a cry, the man found himself standing in the fire,the flames licking quickly up his legs, and soon, he was being consumed by them. The champion ran out of the fire, screaming in pain. He dropped his shield and looked around, noticing Griffin, he charged once more, but Griffin scooted off to the side and lifted a leg, tripping the man back into the fire. 

The sweet smell of burned flesh filled the air as the crowd both cheered and booed. Next to Carmina, Irwin was clapping, laughing as Griffin raised his fists in the air as celebration.

“I knew that kid had the guts to do it!” Irwin yelled. Carmina rolled her eyes. The Judge had raised a hand to their mask, maybe thinking they can block out the smell of roasting human flesh by doing so. Carmina tapped them on the shoulder.

“Come on, lets get him out of here,” Carmina said. The Judge nodded and started to lead the way, before they were pushed to the side by Irwin. The Judge didn’t say anything, just followed the man as he led them down to where other Highwaymen were greeting Griffin.

If it were any other place and time, these people would of been trying to kill them, but after the heat of the battle and from just being in the presence of the insanely badass Lollipop, the Highwaymen were actually cheering for him for once. A couple grabbed Griffin’s hands and lifted them in the air, causing the growing crowd to scream and cheer. Carmina, Irwin, and the Judge shoved their way to the laughing Griffin.

“Care to be a little more alert around a bunch of people who want us dead?” Carmina whispered in Griffin’s ear when she got close enough.

“Ah, relax, they’re not gonna try and kill me. Not after I just kicked all of their best fighters into the dirt,” Griffin said. He gave Carmina a smile and looked up at the Judge.

“Come on, aren’t you gonna congratulate me too?” He said. 

The Judge growled.

“Eh, close enough.”

“You did great, slick. You got some real fight in you. Thanks for this, really,” Irwin came up next to Griffin and had put an arm around the smaller man, giving him a noogie with his other hand. Griffin began to shove Irwin, trying to get him to stop, all the while still having a good time.

“Well well, look what we have here.”

A familiar voice instantly made Griffin stop, even Carmina gasped as she reached for her gun.

“Stop,” Griffin said to her as Irwin let go of him.

“Ah, Mickey! Lou!” Irwin said happily, raising his arms in greeting. The two woman had appeared, the crowd parting away to let them waltz through. Griffin tensed up. Behind him, the Judge has raised a hand protectively in front of Carmina, who pushed it out of the way.

“Little Fucker, I should of known,” Mickey said, “who else would of let a rabbit into the Fight Pit.”

“How are you hanging, Lollipop?” Lou sneered, “you still got some fight in you?”

“Yeah I can take a few more hits,” Griffin said, tersely. Lou laughed and the crowd joined in with her.

Damn it, how did none of them see the Twins there? When the woman outside the ring had let them through, he thought that maybe they could of gotten away with Irwin’s plan, without the Twins finding out that Griffin was making him money. He had a nagging feeling Irwin might of set him up.

But…

“Found this guy out by the bridge. He can pack a good punch, almost as good as me,” Irwin said happily, pointing up to the wreck above.

“Fitting,” Mickey said. She smirked at Griffin’s discomfort, “come on, Lollipop, why don’t you come with us and we can talk.”

“He’s not going anywhere with you,” Carmina said. The crowd laughed.

“Who said he had to come alone?” Mickey said. She noticed the Judge. “Who the hell is that?”

“It’s one of those freaks that live in the woods,” Lou said. She walked up to the Judge, shoving Carmina out of the way. The Judge took a step towards Lou, until the two were face to face. Lou reached up and poked the Judges mask.

“One of those freaks with a cool ass mask,” she said, “what’s your name, weirdo?”

The Judge hissed. Lou moved back, acting scared, mockingly, to the sound of the rest of the Highwaymen’s giggles.

“Judge,” Griffin said warningly. Lou laughed.

“Judge? What kind of name is that?” She said, stepping forward to give the Judge a shove. They growled at her as she walked off back to stand next to Mickey.

“Come on Lollipop, feel free to bring your pets too,” Mickey said.

“What about me?” Irwin asked.

“You can stay here and let us talk in private,” Mickey said, “we’ll talk to you later.”

Irwin huffed but didn’t say anything, just cross his arms as Mickey and Lou led the way through the crowd with Griffin, the Judge, and Carmina following behind them.

“You fight pretty good for a rabbit,” Mickey said when they got far enough away from the dispelling crowd. The 5 of them stopped inside an old canister, the interior painted a bright aqua blue that was covered in the Highwaymen’s crazy designs.

“Thanks?” Griffin said, waiting for them to do or say more. Mickey and Lou were leaning against the canisters walls, leisurely watching their new, tensed, companions.

“Can you ease up a little, you’re making me fucking nervous,” Lou finally said.

“Ease up? Having a lot of trouble wanting to, after everything you’ve been doing,” Griffin said. He was still trying to figure out the trick that the Twins were pulling on him. Last time they had talked, face to face, they ordered him to leave Hope County, promising that something awful would come his way if he didn’t. Well, they ended up attacking Prosperity, and they had hit hard. Griffin has learned not to put anything past these two.

“We three are just full of surprises, are we?” Mickey said. She and Lou laughed. “You’re not finding your head caved in by us and here we are, finding you hanging out with one of those hippies in the woods.”

“Yeah, you got me, I’m full of surprises,” Griffin said, “so you’re not going to have me killed?”

“Lou really wanted to,” Mickey started, causing Lou to frown, “but you just made us a hell of a lot of money from our dear friend, Little Fucker, so we’ll give you this one. Consider us even.”

“Really, that’s it?” Griffin asked, surprised. 

“Well, don’t think anyone was betting on you to win,” Mickey said. Lou nodded in agreement.

“You’re so scrawny and thin, it’s a miracle you managed to live for as long as you did,” Lou said.

“Well, you stealing all the food and destroying everything else isn’t helping with my build,” Griffin said, sarcastically. Lou raised her helmet.

“Watch it, rabbit,” she said, “you’re still on our turf.”

“You may run your mouth off like your words don’t have consequences at home,” Mickey said, “but we won’t hesitate to beat your ass into the ground here.”

“Why not just do it now?” Griffin said, earning himself a look from both Carmina and the Judge. Mickey and Lou started to laugh hysterically.

“You just may be the cockiest son of a bitch we have ever met,” Mickey giggled, wiping a tear from her eye.

Griffin gave a fake bow, wincing as another shot of pain went through his shoulder. Right, he forgot about that.

Mickey and Lou stopped laughing, finally, and started to look serious.

“We know you went to visit those weirdos in the woods,” Lou said. She gestured to the Judge. “You bringing your friend here, this is proof of it.”

“You think a group of hippies armed with sticks are gonna help you win whatever fight you’re trying to start? You don’t have a chance.” Mickey said, stepping closer to Griffin.

“So why not finish this now,” Griffin asked. Lou smirked and stepped forward, but a raised arm from her sister made her stop.

“You know well why,” Mickey said. Lou didn't say anything, just crossed her arms.

“Cap shut up,” Carmina said, causing Mickey to laugh.

“‘Shut up!’ She says! Why not listen to the kid, rabbit, she may save your life someday,” Mickey turned around and placed her hand on Lou’s shoulder, “let's get out of here. I got a few things I want to talk to Little Fucker about.”

Lou nodded and the two women disappeared through the canister doors. Griffin immediately felt a hand on his shoulder that forcefully turned him around. He was surprised to see it wasn’t Carmina, but the Judge who had grabbed him. They didn’t say anything, just gave him what he thinks was a hard glare.

“Oh don’t be like that, I knew what I was doing,” Griffin said.

“You could of gotten us killed,” Carmina said.

“And have them risk letting Irwin pocket all the bets he made off of me? Fat chance,” Griffin shoved the Judges hand off of him, “I’m not letting them push me around.”

“Until they go and beat sense into you, literally,” Carmina said, “be more careful please, Cap. They already know we went to see Joseph Seed, who knows what else they could be planning.”

“Alright, don’t get too bent out of shape about it,” Griffin said. He wasn’t worried, their hatred for him must only be outmatched by the winnings they were going to earn today, why else would they of let him live?

All the same, they shouldn’t hang around. Who knows what they could decide to do tomorrow.

“If you think Irwin isn’t being gutted at this very moment then we should probably get moving,” Griffin said, leaving the canister the same way the Twins did.

———————

The trio were now at an old house. Parts of the place had been built up from the ruins of what looked like an old farmhouse and a radio tower stood nearby, a rope tied from the top allowed a quick and easy access to the new building below. Griffin was sitting in a chair by an open wall, watching the moon rise into the night sky.

Griffin pulled out a bottle of water and took a drink from it, sighing sadly. Maybe he should pre make some coffee for out on the road, if he’s going to be gone from Prosperity for so long, especially since he had offer to take the first night shift.

He shifted in his chair and looked up at the radio tower, seeing an all too familiar figure sitting on the top. The Judge shouldn’t be up and if they’re gonna be awake, how come Griffin wasn’t the one sleeping?

Griffin got up out of his chair and made his way, slowly, down to the ground. He walked to the ladder leading up to the top of the tower and began to climb. The process was slow, Carmina had patched him up after they left the Fight Pit. Although his arm was fine, he was going to be sore for a couple of days, the scratches around his body stung with each movement he made. That’ll be the last time Griffin decides to fight shirtless.

He made it to the top and walked around, keeping his hand on the rail to steady himself, until he was next to the Judge, who didn’t even acknowledge that he was there. 

Griffin sat down next to them and looked out across Hope County, the Aurora Borealis above creating beautiful, dancing, green and pink lights. Griffin had to sit and marvel at the sight. He’s been all up and down the coast after the treacherous journey from the east, fighting Highwaymen, bandits, animals, and all sorts of things to make it to Hope County, but none of them had sights like this. It could be because of how far north they are, that and the radiation that has infected the planet, but whatever it has done to the atmosphere has made Hope County one of the most beautiful places he’s ever seen. Griffin could not tear his eyes away.

“Are you lonely, sitting down there, Captain,” a quiet voice next to him said, and Griffin realized the Judge was talking to him.

“I thought you didn’t want to say anything, at all. Ever,” Griffin said. The Judge shrugged.

“You know,” they said.

“Not enough apparently,” Griffin tilted his head over to look at them. They were watching the sky above. “It would be great to know more about my masked companion, wouldn’t it.”

“I suppose,” The Judge said, but didn’t continue. Griffin turned to face them.

“Be honest with me, Judge, cause this questions been on my mind all damn day,” Griffin said. The Judge turned to look at him, curiously.

“You and Joseph are not… you know? You’re not Ethan’s mom?”

“No I am not,” a pause, then quietly, “I’m a lesbian.”

“Oh, well, OK, cause I’ve been thinking about it and, well, the way you act around those two, it made me think-“

“I’m not Ethan’s mother-“

“Ok, because that would of been weird-“

“Please drop this topic-“

“Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.”

The two were silent again for a while before Griffin broke it.

“How come the scavengers talk so badly about you guys anyway?” Griffin asked, “When Rush suggested to ask your Father for help, Kim damn well near looked like she wanted to throw him over Prosperities walls. Why are people scared of you?”

The Judge was silent for a moment.

“I suppose it is because of our power, the gift the Father shared with you,” the Judge said.

“You mean the apple tree?” Griffin said. The Judge nodded.

“Have you felt that power, in the Pit? It becomes a part of you, and when you need it most, it will always be there, to help you. It was God’s gift to us in our most troubling time.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. I want to know what people are freaking out about. Why is it such a big deal New Eden are our allies now?”

There was more silence, and then-

“Before the Collapse,” The Judge began, slowly, “New Eden was known as Eden’s Gate. They were not… well liked, in Hope County. They were feared by some of the locals, but were also mocked. Joseph Seed knew the Collapse was going to happen and he wanted to prepare those chosen for it. But the citizens of Hope County did not like that, so the people started a Resistance against them.”

“You say Eden’s Gate like you were not a part of them? Were you with this Resistance then?”

“I was born with this world,” the Judge said, “I listened to the Father’s Word and was reborn in the fires of the Collapse. My past, who I was, does not matter anymore.”

“Well it must still since you fought so much to not come with me and Carmina,” Griffin said. The Judge didn’t reply, answering his comment with silence.

“Listen, I know you don’t like being out here with me and, quite frankly, I’m not sure how to feel about you either. I don’t know your people and I barely know your Father, yet he has already put so much trust in me, it scares me. The way I see it, unless we both can get along, then we’re going to have a hell of a harder time helping our people, you get that?”

“Trust flows two ways,” the Judge said, “after what happened today, at the barn and at the pit, how can I be sure to trust you, Captain?”

“I could of told Carmina you tried to strangle me, but I didn’t,” Griffin said.

“And why didn’t you,” The Judge asked.

Griffin had to think for a moment.

“Well,” he finally said, “you had some reason to be upset, one I would love to know about, but I respect that. I don’t know what you got against leaving your village or why your so caught up on being Joseph’s bodyguard, but that’s you, and if that makes you happy and you’re not hurting anyone, I’m fine with keeping my mouth shut.”

The Judge didn’t reply, but seemed to have a relaxed more.

“So, are we cool?” Griffin asked.

“Yeah… yeah, we’re cool,” The Judge nodded.

“Good, now, if you’re going to sit up here for a while longer, then I think I’m going to sleep. No need to have us both up and at each other’s throats in the morning. Good night, Judge.”

Griffin climbed on the ladder and slid down it, leaving the Judge to watch the stars alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of wish we learned more in game what the east was like when it came to the Collapse. At least we’re shown what parts of the world did get nuked.
> 
> I also had started drafting this chapter the day I first did this mission. I like Irwin and I can’t wait to write more stuff with him.
> 
> Also like, yeah that first part is when the Collapse first happens. Griffin is 38 in FCND, 21 in FC5.
> 
> Next chapter should be interesting too for a couple of reasons. I hope you’ll enjoy it :)
> 
> Title is from Get Mine by Davis


	3. Gone are the Days of Laughter and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I scream and shout like this just to prove to the world that I still exist.  
>  I don’t believe in life but I won’t believe in death til I die_

Anna May blinked in the dim light, groaning as she sat up in bed. Hope County Jail was already awake, the sounds of people working outside came in through the propped open windows. Anna May heard Tracy giving some orders, probably getting the other Cougars ready for today’s tasks, and smiled to herself.

She stood up and stretched, then got changed, taking off the old sweatpants and Testicle Festival T-Shirt she had been wearing as pajamas into a pair of jeans and her favorite tank top. Satisfied with the outfit, and taking one last look at herself in the mirror, Anna May left the cell into the main prison block. 

A large table was in the middle of the block, usually used for the jails inhabitants to stack ammo and sit down to play cards and drink beer after a long day of hard work. Today, however, the table lacked both, as Deputy Joey Hudson was standing there shuffling through cans of food. She was muttering to herself, counting and sorting through each one and occasionally would write something on a small notepad. Anna May’s smile grew bigger and she walked up next to her.

“Morning,” she said, giving Hudson a kiss on the cheek. Hudson turned to look at Anna May and smiled back.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Hudson asked.

“I did, actually,” Anna May said. She leaned casually against the table. “You know, last night I had the most brilliant idea.”

“Oh? Do tell,” Hudson put the notepad on the table and raised an eyebrow at Anna May.

“I was thinking that you, me, Cynthia, take a drive to a nice restaurant, somewhere out of Hope County, make a date of it. My treat.”

“Are you sure that old car of yours is going to make it out of Hope County?” Hudson asked. Anna May gave an offended gasp, putting a hand over her heart.

“Cynthia is the best car in the whole world, of course she can make it! She could make it to the moon if I was able to attach rockets to her.”

“I believe it,” Hudson giggled and went back to sorting through the cans, picking the notepad back up. Anna May grabbed one and took a look at the label.

“How good are we on canned pineapple?” She asked. Hudson rolled her eyes.

“We have plenty,” she said, taking the can back from Anna May, “I just want to make sure we’ll have enough to last us until more supplies can come in.”

“I can always get us another outpost,” Anna May suggested, “there’s an old apple farm I haven’t tackled yet, down in Holland Valley, it’s full of peggies. Jess would love to come, she’s been asking me to go on a run with her all week.”

“I haven’t had apples in a long time,” Hudson said. She nodded her head then continued to sort through cans of food.

Anna May watched her, content with just sitting there silently and letting Hudson work, wanting to sit in the moment for as long as she could.

Someone called Hudson’s name and she looked up. Sighing, she placed the notepad she was writing in and pen down on the table.

“I have to go,” she said. Anna May grabbed her hand.

“Can’t you stay, please, just a little longer, I miss you so much,” Anna May begged. Hudson shook her head, Anna May’s own sadness reflected back in her eyes.

“I miss you too, but you know I can’t. It’s time for you to wake up,” she said. She gently took Anna May’s hand off of her own and let go, making her way to the blocks single door. At it, she turned, one last time, to look at Anna May, before she left, closing the gated door behind her.

—————

The Judge woke up, blinking in the sunlight. They had fallen asleep in a sitting position, leaning back against the radio tower they took refuge up on. They stood up and stretched, looking out at Hope County and the distant, still standing, buildings that littered the land. At one point in time, being this high in the air may have terrified the Judge, but now, they were not scared at all. Very few things scared the Judge anymore.

“Glad to see you’re finally up!” The Judge heard the Captain yell from below. They looked down at him.

Griffin, his name was Griffin, the Judge had to remember that, even if it wasn’t important. The man was reckless enough to fight in the Twin’s Pit, with said Twins around, someone had to tell Joseph his shepherd was dead if his recklessness finally caught up with him.

The Judge ziplined down from the tower and to the ground, grunting as they landed. Carmina was nearby, grabbing their things as they prepared to leave.

“We should get to Prosperity later today,” Griffin said, “you ready to meet more new friends.”

The Judge growled but the feeling of unease, one that had been slowly building within them the last few days, was already back. Were they ready? The Judge hasn’t seen anyone from before the Collapse, besides Carmina, in 17 years. No one in Prosperity was going to welcome their arrival.

The Judge got pulled out of their thoughts by Griffin tossing them their bow and arrows.

“You left this down here last night,” he said. The Judge put the bow around their back and hissed in thanks.

“Anytime, buddy,” Griffin replied.

The group began to walk, following the dirt roads through Hope County as they continued on Southwest.

“What do you think Rush is going to have us do when we get back?” Carmina asked. Griffin shrugged.

“Maybe get more outposts. Prosperity is a nice town, but we barely managed to get The Chop Shop, and Pastor Jerome has been talking about rebuilding it back to Falls End again…”

The Judge continued to listen in on their plans, getting a better idea of the actual situation between Prosperity and the Highwaymen. The Twins has set an attack on the settlement with the intention of killing everyone there. They held off the attack, but suffered heavy losses. Thomas Rush, the man who arrived to Hope County with the Captain, was the one to suggest asking Joseph Seed and New Eden for help.

A long time coming, the Judge thought. They remembered the last thing Joseph told them before he left. The book is the key, and when the shepherd has arrived, help him find his way north. The Judge just wished that he would of told them earlier that they were to accompany this shepherd, it may have prepared them better for a goodbye after that tense reunion between Ethan and Joseph .

A jab of fear hit them in the gut. Ethan was in New Eden, alone, with Joseph Seed, and the Judge was terrified to see what he was going to do to his father. The Judge has already spent much time fighting the urge to disobey Joseph, just this once, to return home, to sneak off while they were at the Fighters Pit and make sure the Father is still alive. They didn’t care about what Griffin wanted to do to fight these Highwaymen, he was capable of doing it alone.

Sloth.

The Judge sighed and instinctively reached up to grab their arm, where the old scars still shown on their skin under their gloves. Carmina turned and gave them an odd look before continuing her conversation with Griffin, the two now talking about possibly building up some infirmary run by a woman named Selene.

It was hours later before the structures built on top of John Seed’s old ranch appeared, and soon they have arrived to Prosperity. The Judge looked at the growing settlement, trying to see over the wooden walls. The building was freshly painted, the old reddish hue that the ranch use to have slowly being replaced with a sunny yellow. None of the old decorations from before the Collapse still remained and, if the Judge has not been here before, they would never have thought that this use have been the Baptist’s home in the first place.

The gate opened and the Judge heard someone gasp, followed by a “Captain, you’re back! And you brought a peggie…”

“You still call them peggies?” Griffin turned give the Judge a look.

“They’re a member of the Project at… you know what, nevermind, it’s good to see you back, Cap,” The man pulled the gate open more and let the three inside. The settlement was alive, most of the concrete that had covered the ranch was now replaced with grass. Plants grew in boxed gardens around the settlement walls and children laughed as they ran through groups of chickens.

The Judge felt a painful emotion in their chest. They should not be here at all. The Judge was tempted to turn around and leave through the gate, which has not closed yet, until a man approached the group.

He was dressed similarly to Griffin, he had a large coat and a tattoo of an eagle on his neck. He seemed young, but was noticeably injured, as he limped up to them.

“Thomas!” Griffin said, giving the man a high five.

“Captain, Carmina, you’re back!” Thomas exclaimed. He looked at the Judge. “So… did New Eden agree to help?”

The Judge grunted. 

“Ehhh…” Thomas gave the Judge a curious look then slowly looked over at Griffin.

“The Judge doesn’t speak,” Griffin said. He patted them on the back. “But yeah, I found Joseph. He’s agreed to help us fight the Highwaymen.”

“You got him to agree, just like that?”

The Judge saw Kim Rye approach the group. Kim gave them an uncertain glance and looked at Griffin.

“What exactly did you say to Joseph Seed?” She asked.

“Nothing, really. He already knew I was coming. Said he’s been waiting for me and agreed to let New Eden aid us against the Highwaymen, that’s all,” Griffin shrugged. Kim didn’t look convinced.

“He was expecting you? Is this another one of his ‘prophecies?’”

The Judge gave a hiss that caused Kim to turn and look at them. They couldn’t help but feel hurt at the hatred they saw in her eyes.

“And he gave you one of his own to travel with?” Kim continued. Griffin shrugged.

“Joseph’s own personal shadow, that’s how he described them,” Griffin said. Kim gave the Judge a long, suspicious, stare before she looked back at Thomas and Griffin.

“I don’t like any of this,” Kim insisted, “We shouldn’t be trusting Joseph Seed, not after what he’s done.”

“That was years ago, mom, things have changed!” Carmina said, “they’ve left us alone for years and they don’t like the Highwaymen as much as we do. We can help each other and we can end this, just give them a chance.” But Kim shook her head.

“Not after everything they’ve done. Not after what Joseph has done,” Kim crosses her arms and looked away and at the ground. The Judge tilted their head to the side. 

Kim finally ended up shaking her head and turned around, walking back into the ranches doors. Carmina looked at Thomas, Griffin, and the Judge.

“I’ll go talk to her,” Carmina said, and she left, running after her mother.

“This is going to be harder than I thought, but I know we’re doing the right thing,” Thomas said.

“New Eden should be able to help us fight during the day but I can’t imagine us getting much done with everyone’s discomfort being as bad as it is,” Griffin shook his head, “did Kim bother telling you what her deal with them is? I heard some stuff about an Eden’s Gate, but I’m not sure I got the whole picture.”

Griffin was looking at the Judge when he said that. They pretended not to notice.

“Try to talk to Kim,” Thomas suggested.

“If she doesn’t yell at me again for bringing this guy back,” Griffin said, patting the Judge on the shoulder.

“So you really don’t talk?” Thomas asked, looking at the Judge. They grunted.

“Yeah, I haven't been able to get a word out of them at all,” Griffin said, “hey, I’m going to go to the infirmary, I got myself into a fight and kind of want to get checked up on-“

“A fight? Are you OK?” Thomas asked, now concerned, now immediately giving his attention back to Griffin.

“Yeah man, I’m good, you know me. But when you got a hippie and a little girl as companions, I feel a little safer having an actual doctor check up on me,” Griffin had begun walking away.

“I wouldn’t of gotten Selene to do it…” Thomas quietly said. He nodded at the Judge, “well, make yourself at home. It’s good to have you here.”

The Judge watched Thomas walk off, uncertain exactly at how welcome their stay really is.

———————

Night had fallen. The Judge had found themself a place on the old hangar roof of John’s Ranch. The Judge wondered if Affirmation, or, well, what was left of Affirmation when they brought her ruins back here, was still there. They would go check, but the building has been boarded up, blocking out any kind of access from the outside.

The Judge figured they could stay up there while in Prosperity. Between Hope County veterans giving them glares and the Judges own growing fears, they didn’t feel safe sleeping around everyone else. The less people see them the better.

So the Judge had found an old sleeping bag and a couple of pillows, taking them up the hanger to make their own sleeping spot. As long as it didn’t rain, the Judge could sleep laying down, without to possibility of someone seeing them without their mask.

Loud laughter filled the air and the Judge walked over to look down at Prosperity below. There was a bonfire glowing, followed by people eating and drinking. The Judge sat and watched them, wishing, if anything, they could be down there, with nothing but the Highwaymen to keep them up at night.

The Judge shook their head and, instead, went to look off into the opposite direction, out west, where the trees still have not regrown. The Collapse’s mark was still shown on the New World, reminding them of the multitude of death it had brought with it. Guilt began to grow like a flooding river in the Judge and they forced themselves to ignore it. 

More laughter filled the air, then the Judge heard it, someone climbing up the side of the hanger. The Judge reached for their bow, but stopped when Kim’s head emerged from the side of the hanger. Surprised, the Judge watched her climb, until she was standing, looking at the makeshift camp.

“You decided to build yourself a nest up here?” Kim asked. The Judge hissed in reply. Kim walked over and looked down at the party below.

“I really care for all of them, you know,” Kim said. The Judge looked up and watched her.

“After they took Nick, I felt lost, I felt like we had lost everything and soon Mickey and Lou would come back for me, for Carmina-“ Kim stopped. The Judge hand twitched, but they kept it still.

“I worked hard to make Prosperity work,” she said, “I struggled every day to keep us safe, and when it seemed like Rush and the Captain have changed everything, that they could win this for us… well, that hope was almost taken again by the Twins.”

Kim sat down next to the Judge who didn’t move.

“I don’t know what your ‘Father’ has told you about his past, when Eden’s Gate was terrorizing Hope County, hell, you could of been a child when everything went down for all I know, but you should not trust him, and I can’t trust you,” she said, looking straight at the Judges eyes.

No one knows more of what Joseph Seed has done then I do, the Judge wanted to say. Under the mask, they had opened their mouth to do so, but they didn’t. They were afraid.

Instead, the Judge lifted a hand and put it on Kim’s arm, hoping that she’ll understand. Kim sighed.

“You’ll be traveling with the Captain, but you’ll also be with Carmina,” Kim said, “I would kill anyone for my daughter, even you, if it meant keeping her safe,” Kim took her other hand and had quickly grabbed the Judges, who tried to pull themself out of her grip.

“Make no mistake, if she gets hurt and I find out it was your fault, I will kill you, do you understand me?” Kim asked, turning to give the Judge a hard stare. The Judge nodded, multiple times, but it took Kim a moment before she finally let them go.

The Judge had no intention of hurting Carmina, even with Kim’s threats. They would of said so themself, once again almost breaking their own vow of silence, but Kim had already stood up, walking away without saying so much as a goodbye.

The Judge looked back down at the partying group below, feeling much more miserable now than they did before they arrived to Prosperity.

——————

“You understand why I have forgiven you, have you?” Joseph asked, pinning another page of paper to the bunker walls.

Anna May didn’t reply, as she hasn’t for weeks now. She sat where she’s been sitting every day, at the end of the bedside Dutch, then Joseph, has chained her to. She couldn’t see him, just hear him, as she kept her head in her arms, flitting in and out of sleep as she drowned in her own sorrow.

“We all have sin deep in our souls,” Joseph continued, “and it must be removed. All other attachments to the old world must be burned. We must be prepared for the New World and for what is there to come, if we hope to create a new Eden to live in.”

Anna May continued to listen, but remained silent. Let him talk, she didn’t care. She looked up briefly, looking past her bandaged hands, wounds Joseph had so carefully treated after she hurt herself trying to get out and find her friends bodies, up to where Joseph had his back to her. Anna May could see the tattoo he has on his back, the Eden’s Gate cross showing plainly through the dimly lit room. How she hated that symbol so.

She wanted to ask Joseph when they could leave to the New World, but she was afraid. He was too, but his fears were different from hers. Joseph wasn’t sure what Anna May was going to do when he finally let her out of those cuffs, at some point she may of thought of killing him, once she got out, but he was all she had left. She didn’t care enough to kill him.

What even was the point? Her world was gone, her friends either dead or in hiding, if any of them made it to the bunkers, Her home is destroyed, and Hudson… Hudson was dead.

Pain shot through Anna May’s heart and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She and Pratt and Whitehorse, their bodies appear so clearly in Anna May’s mind she felt like she was back there with them, in that car. They all were dead and she was alone, alone with Joseph Seed, the man she spent months fighting against, just to bring peace to Hope County. And this is what all of her fighting has brought. It was all her fault.

She wishes she was dead too.

Anna May closed her eyes shut as tears came out from them, lowering her head back into the crook of her arms. She couldn’t hear Joseph speaking anymore, but heard him take a couple of footsteps towards her. She felt a hand lightly touch the top of her head.

“You understand why you are feeling this pain?” He asked, softly. Anna May made no reply, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of a response, let alone for him to see the tears that streamed down her face.

“You will see,” Joseph Seed said, “everything you have done, every bit of pain you have caused my family, the pain you have caused to yours, it was for a reason, and the moment you understand why, you will come to me, and I will listen.”

He lifted his hand from her head and went back to the wall, pinning more papers to it, silent as he worked.

Anna May didn’t give a hell in whatever was left in the world whatever reason he was trying to get her to see. As far as she was concerned, the end of the world was as much of his fault as it was hers. 

So she sat, the only company besides Joseph she had are her own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look, got a new POV for you guys for this chapter : D Hope you like it, I had a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> Chapter title is from Ancient Names Part 2 by Lord Huron


	4. Hero From the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Clap your hands and Laugh!_

Griffin lifted the cup to his lips and sipped, sighing as he placed it back down onto the table.

“Selene, I think I’m in love with you,” Griffin announced. The two of them were in Selene’s makeshift infirmary. Although there currently was no one in it, the place was prepped and ready for an emergency. The current emergency, however, was getting Griffin a cup of coffee, and lucky for him, no one was better at it then Selene was. 

Selene rolled her eyes. “You come to me more for coffee than for an actual medical emergency, dude. You’re starting to make me think I’ve wasted my time on getting a medical degree,” she said, accusingly.

“Isn't coffee the best kind of medicine?” Griffin asked, taking another sip from the cup, “and even so, why not start a coffee shop. You can make the best damn brew in Hope County, think of how many plants you can get from selling it.”

“Lots,” Selene said happily. She sat down on a table and started tapping a pen to her cheek. “Maybe something like those white ones that grow out east. Big, beautiful flowers, and the scent, I swear I never felt as happy as I did when I smelled those.”

“Tell you what then,” Griffin said as the Judge walked in through the door, “you make that coffee shop and I’ll get you the biggest pot of white flowers you have ever seen, that is a promise.”

“Deal, I’ll be keeping your word for it. I can probably make something good with them, like weed, but better.” The Judge was looking between the two of them, obviously having no idea what conversation they have already walked in on.

“Judge!” Griffin exclaimed. He patted a seat right next to him. “Come sit, take a load off, have a cup.”

A hiss was his only reply, but the Judge sat down nonetheless. Selene placed a chipped cup in front of them, filled halfway with a dark roast she had made. The Judge looked down at it, unmoving.

“You’re supposed to pick it up and drink from it, you know,” Selene mimed drinking from a cup. The Judge didn’t answer, just grabbed the cup and stood back up, walking outside the door. Selene and Griffin watched them leave.

“They’re going to give that back, right? That was my favorite mug,” Selene said.

“I’ll get them to bring it back, don’t worry,” Griffin reassured her.

“You think they ever had coffee before? They didn’t even add sugar to it.”

“Nothing wrong with drinking it the way it is, that’s how I like it,” Griffin finished the rest of his drink and went over to the sink, rinsing the mug out. 

“No dude, you have to fill it with sugar, that’s how you get the motor going,” Selene poked the side of her head with her pen.

“But if you put too much in it ruins the taste of the coffee!” Griffin argued. 

The two kept arguing about different ways to drink coffee as the Judge eventually came back into the room, placing the empty mug on the table. Selene noticed this and stopped her current point of correlating sugar and caffeine levels to productivity.

“Did you like it?” She asked. The Judge hissed in reply.

“Yeah, dude, I have no idea what the hell you said,” she giggled. The Judge nodded their head.

“I think they did like it, Selene,” Griffin said, sitting down in a chair and leaning back.

“Then why don’t you just say so!” Selene clapped her hands, opening her arms wide. The Judge shrugged, then looked over expectantly at Griffin.

“What do you want?” Griffin asked. The Judge grunted. Griffin sighed and sat up, leaning over against the table with his elbow. He rested his head on his hand and thought for a moment.

“I’m guessing you’re wondering what we’re going to do next?” Griffin said, receiving a nod in reply, “well, I plan on staying here for a little bit, get some supplies so we don’t die of hunger and thirst out there, and talk to Kim. There’s a couple people she heard over the radio who could use our help and, from the sound of it, we could use their skills too.”

“After we get that done, I want to stop by Roughneck Crag. I got a couple of friends there who I want to check up on and it would be good for you to meet with everyone else who is helping us with this operation, is that fine with you?”

The Judge hissed, but gave a thumbs up.

“Perfect. Just give me a couple of hours and we should leave sometime in the afternoon. In the meantime, maybe you can make some friends around here, possibly starting with Selene?”

Selene gave Griffin a sideways glance.

“Uh, Yeah! I’m always looking for, uh, more creepy, silent, friends! Let’s become best pals!”

The Judge didn’t move a muscle but if Griffin knew what they looked like under that mask, he would imagine they’d have a big frown on their face. He smiled at them, waving goodbye as he made his way out of the infirmary.

Outside, the sun was still not over the fence surrounding Prosperity. Dew shone brightly in the grass and the permanent Aurora Borealis in the sky still showed its beautiful colors clearly through the daylight. Griffin took off through the field, making his way to the old ranches main room. He opened the door and found Kim where she usually is, pouring over old maps and photos of Hope County.

Kim looked up at Griffin’s arrival, sighing when she saw him.

“Good, you’re awake,” Kim said. She pointed to a spot on the map. “An old friend of my husband’s, Sharky Boshaw? He has been radioing for some help with something for the last few days now. Apparently, Hurk thought it was a smart idea to leave his baby with him.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Sharky is a pyromaniac and he has the two of them settled on a very explosive place, not an ideal place to raise a baby.”

“Oh… Yeah, I’ll get onto that immediately,” Griffin said.

“Good. If you can bring him and the kid to Prosperity soon, that’d be great. No one knows how to make explosives better than him, and if you can stand the sound of disco, then he also would be a valuable ally,” Kim rubbed her eyes before she looked down at the map, sadly.

“That’s near where Nick was last seen,” she said, quietly.

“He was your husband, right?” Griffin said, “you know, I can take a look around, I may be able to find him.”

“I doubt he’ll still be there. Knowing the Highwaymen, they’ve probably moved him, or sent him off to their Bullet Farm in the old Hope County Jail,” Kim shook her head and looked up at Griffin.

“There’s something else we need to talk about,” Kim said. 

“Oh?” Griffin asked. He had a suspicion he knew already what she was going to say.

“That peggie you brought back with you,” Kim said. He knew it.

“They’re perfectly safe, I talked with them before we got here,” Griffin said.

“I talked to them too but I don’t care if you think any of their screeching is an answer that says “Yes I won’t kill your family in their sleep!”

“Uh, Kim-“

“You do not know what Joseph Seed is capable of, who knows what he’s been feeding into that person!”

“Then tell me then! Tell me what is so God damn awful about New Eden, because it seems to me you all like to just shit talk them without explaining why!”

Kim was silent for a moment, then she held a hand to her forehead.

“You and Rush are not from Hope County,” she said wearily, “of course you don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand,” Griffin sat down in a chair across from her and leaned over, “what should I be afraid of?”

Kim sighed and sat down, looking at the room around her. It took her a moment before she spoke.

“Eden’s Gate was a group that arrived to Hope County many years before the Collapse,” Kim began, “They were peaceful, started out as a youth group, people went there to turn their lives around for the better. There were the few oddball rumors here and there, but they never caused trouble. Joseph and his caravan arrived and started their own operations, recruiting people to join what we didn’t know at the time was a cult. Him and his brothers and sister had run of the place.”

“Joseph has brothers and a sister?” Griffin asked. Kim shook her head.

“Had. Some years before the Collapse, the rumors started to get worse and worse. Businesses started to close down, all bought out by Joseph’s youngest brother, John, and Jacob, his older brother, had actual training camps set up in the Whitetails up north, places where the cult was teaching people how to fight, how to kill. Rumors about his little sister, Faith, were the most popular, as she always seemed to be a completely new person every few years, but none of those rumors were as bad as what she was doing out east, how people would lose their minds by the Henbane. No one in Hope County was safe from them.”

“Finally, the cult snapped. Eden’s Gate started attacking and stealing from everyone, food, ammo, even people. They claimed they were saving us, but in the process, they slaughtered families.”

Griffin wasn’t so he wanted to hear more of this, but Kim continued.

“Some groups tried to fight back. Pastor Jerome and our old friend, Mary May, did what they could to keep Falls End away from them. Some groups, like the Whitetail Militia and Cougars, were formed as well, but even with our efforts, things didn’t look good for our resistance.”

“So what happened?” Griffin asked.

“The Deputy,” Kim said.

“The Deputy?” 

“She was a friend of ours, and to the rest of Hope County. We made her Carmina’s godmother,” Kim explained, “Joseph and his family had their eyes mainly on her as she rescued people, destroyed their outposts and structures. She united us, all of us, and gave us hope. She killed Joseph’s siblings and started to bring peace back to Hope County. But then the world ended and when we finally left the bunker, Eden’s Gate was New Eden, and they finally started to leave us alone. And now, they’re suppose to be our friends, after so many years of pain, Rush wants us to break bread with the Father.”

Griffin didn’t know exactly how to respond to any of what Kim told him. Instead, he asked the most obvious question.

“What happened to the Deputy?” 

“Dead. Nick saw her last, he told me she left in a car with her fellow Deputies, Pratt and Hudson, the Sheriff, Whitehorse, and Joseph Seed himself. Years later, Joseph revealed himself to our family, but there was no sheriff or deputies in sight,” Kim finished sadly, “The Deputy was like a one woman army by herself. If she was still around, she could of helped us with the Highwaymen. We might not have needed to drag you and Rush into this.”

“Hold on, I need to grab something,” Griffin said. He walked over to the other side of the room and opened his pack, which he had tossed on a hook last night when he went to bed. He shuffled around until he found what he was looking for, the papers he had taken from the old bunker Joseph had led him to, tuck inside the Word of Joseph, and the Deputy jacket. He had found it in the same room as the Word, an old jacket that was laid carefully on the bed next to the shrine he found the book on. The jacket was clean and well mended, Griffin had decided to take it and wear it, not considering where it’s been and who it belonged to.

Griffin brought the items to Kim who was watching him like he brought her a stack of gold.

“Where did you get that?” Kim asked, gently taking the jacket and looking over it, rubbing her thumb over the faint words “Rookie Deputy.”

“In a bunker. Joseph led me to it,” Griffin said. Kim looked up.

“Why?” She asked.

“To get this. There’s a few papers inside, I took them all before I left for New Eden,” Griffin said, handing the book to her. Kim grabbed one letter in the book and read it over.

“‘I thought of killing them, as a mercy.’ That sick bastard,” Kim looked up in disbelief, “she was alive? Down there, with Joseph? Alone, for who knows how long,” Kim looked at another sheet of paper, tossing it aside before she read a third. She shook her head.

“She was so scared…” Kim went silent.

“I didn’t hear anything about a Deputy at New Eden,” Griffin said uncertainly, “I grabbed all of those to read later, the bunker walls in the room they were in were filled with those papers, but I haven't had the chance to actually read them.”

“One of these were written by her, the rest by Joseph,” Kim sighed, “she may be truly dead, if Joseph decided to give her his ‘mercy.’ I should of expected it…”

“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t of known,” Griffin said.

“It was expected,” Kim repeated. She sighed looked down at the jacket sadly again, “if you think that Joseph Seed really has changed, then I’ll make an effort to work with him, but I can’t promise that everyone else will. Tension has been high since the Twins last attack and it's only ever going to grow if we start having peggies coming to our front door. I don’t think I can forgive them, not after Nick, my friends, the Deputy-“ Kim wiped one of her eyes. “I’m going to have to tell her brothers she’s dead.”

Griffin was silent, letting Kim think. She finally composed herself and looked back up.

“You did good. I know Rush thinks we need New Eden, and he’s right, we do, but a lot of people here are still angry at everything they have done before the Collapse. It’s going to take time for people to warm up to the Peggies and we still have to make a plan for tackling Mickey and Lou.”

“I ran into them,” Griffin said.

“What?”

“At the Fighters Pit. Some guy named Irwin asked me to fight some of the Highwaymen in their fighting game and win so he can collect the bets. I guess he had some debt to pay for? Anyway, Mickey and Lou were there, and they watched the whole thing.”

“How the hell did you make it out of there?” Kim asked, shocked.

Griffin shrugged. “They were happy I made them some cash off Irwin and decided not killing me was calling it even.”

“That was… very stupid of you.”

“Hey, I didn’t know they were there!” Griffin raised his hands up defensively, “and Carmina yelled at me about it afterwards.”

“I know Carmina can handle herself, but please don’t bring my daughter to places like that ever again!” Kim said, looking at Griffin like she would gladly launch herself over the table just to throw him.

“I won’t I won’t, I’m sorry,” Griffin said, taking a step back, his hands still raised.

Kim shook her head.

“Just… _please _be careful. They already attacked us once, I don’t know if we can hold off another attack again.”__

__“Yeah, I will. I promise,” Griffin said. He reached over to take the Deputy’s jacket from Kim and held it up._ _

__“Do you think it would be weird if I wore this?” Griffin asked. Kim shrugged._ _

__“I don’t really care if you do,” Kim said, “and maybe people will see it as a moral booster.”_ _

__Griffin nodded, looking down at his blurry reflection in the old badge._ _

__——————_ _

__Griffin walked out of the ranch doors, Deputy jacket now on, and looked around Prosperity. A couple of people greeted him and he high fived one kid as she ran past him. Prosperity was finally starting to heal after the Twins last attack and Griffin can see the beginning of a new regrowth._ _

__Rush was sitting outside by the garden, strumming away on an old guitar. He stopped when Griffin approached him and smiled._ _

__“Hey man, how are you holding up?” Griffin asked._ _

__“Better, now that I know we got New Eden on our side,” Rush said, “my legs almost healed now too. In a few more days, I’ll be able to go out with you, take down some Highwaymen myself.”_ _

__“You were doing a good job back at the mine,” Griffin said, sitting down next to Rush._ _

__“Yeah, I was,” Rush placed the guitar down next to him and leaned back, “but I wasn’t doing as good until you showed up.”_ _

__“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Griffin said sarcastically, placing a hand on his cheek and leaning his head to the side. Rush gave him a playful punch on the shoulder._ _

__“You know what I mean,” Rush said. He looked at Griffin’s new outfit. “Where did you get the coat from?”_ _

__Griffin’s smile turned to a frown. “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, and he started to tell Rush everything, his visit to Joseph’s bunker, what happened when Griffin got to New Eden, the Flame Of Eden, his journey north to Joseph’s Sanctuary, Ethan’s argument, his conversation with Kim._ _

__Almost all of it. Griffin was careful to leave out his conversations with the Judge as well as his visions from when he received Eden’s Gift. As Griffin finished, Rush frowned, looking out at Prosperity._ _

__“That is… a lot to take in,” Rush said, “but we can’t do anything about it now. We need New Eden.”_ _

__“We should still be careful,” Griffin said, “the Twins know I went to speak to them. I’m worried they’ll be a step ahead of us.”_ _

__“They won’t, so long as we have a plan they don’t know about,” Rush said, “Why not ask your new friend any of this stuff? Are you sure they can’t speak?”_ _

__“Haven't said a word. I think their tongue is ripped out,” Griffin lied._ _

__“Hm, a shame,” Rush said, “what are you going to do from here then?”_ _

__“There’s someone named Sharky out east I’m going to meet,” Griffin said, “after that, I want to check up on Pastor Jerome, Nana, and the animals up at the crag up north. Grace set the place up for people to hide out in when we need to, but it’s not well guarded. I’m afraid the Highwaymen might try to make a new outpost out of it.”_ _

__“That's not that far from here,” Rush said._ _

__“I just want to double check on the place and Pastor Jerome may be able to help us with this alliance problem” Griffin said._ _

__“Well, it’s your call,” Rush said, “you know, between what happened on the train and my leg, you’ve done a good job getting things done without me. I’m proud of you, man.”_ _

__“Hey, I couldn’t of gotten here without you,” Griffin said. He really couldn’t. If Rush didn’t push Griffin off that cliff and into the Henbane, Griffin may have been stuck in that mine with Rush, or Fighter Pit fodder. He may have been helping Rush with settlements, but Griffin was a security officer, not a builder, he would be lost without him._ _

__Rush slowly stood up, grabbing the guitar again._ _

__“I think I’m going to go talk to Kim,” he said, “I want to start on our next plans for fortifying this place and I’m sure you want to get ready to head out.”_ _

__“Yeah. I’ll talk to you later,” Griffin said as Rush walked off. He stood up and looked at the top of the hanger, where a familiar figure was standing. Damn, how long has the Judge been watching his and Rush’s conversation._ _

__Griffin made no show to hide himself as he walked to the old hanger and began to climb, reaching the top of the old building. The Judge was waiting for him, watching him lift himself over the hanger edge and sitting down next to it._ _

__“Why are you wearing that? Where did you get it?” The Judge asked immediately. Griffin, surprised, looked down at his jacket._ _

__“You mean this? Found it, in Joseph’s bunker. The same one that the book I showed you was at.”_ _

__“Dutch. Dutch’s bunker,” the Judge corrected him._ _

__“Whoever’s bunker,” Griffin said,not knowing who this Dutch is._ _

__“Why wear it,” the Judge asked again, taking a few steps forward. Even in the bright sunlight, the Judges mask seemed to grow dark._ _

__“Cause it’s a cool jacket, even if it’s a little smaller than what I’m use to,” Griffin said. He squinted up at the Judge. “Hey, Tell me, has Joseph ever told you about someone called the Deputy?”_ _

__“Can we not talk about this?” The Judge asked, their voice sounding more angry and, if Griffin was not mistaken, scared? This confused him._ _

__“Why not?” He asked, “Is she some big taboo among the peggies?”_ _

__“The Deputy was a sinner and that is all you need to know,” the Judge said._ _

__“I’m just curious cause to Kim it looks like Joseph killed her.”_ _

__“It doesn’t matter what happened to her!” The Judge said forcibly. Griffin’s eyes widened as the Judge towered over him. “She is dead and in the past! Don’t bring up things you don’t understand!”_ _

__“What’s there to understand?” Griffin asked. All he was doing was asking about the Deputy, it’s not like he wants the details of how Joseph brutally murdered her. What’s gotten into the Judge this time?_ _

__But the Judge seems to be taking his questions personally, making Griffin believe that there’s something they’re not telling him._ _

__“There’s nothing to understand,” the Judge said. They stepped away from Griffin and looked out over Hope County. “Please, let us drop this conversation.”_ _

__“What do you know about the Deputy? Were you friends with her?”_ _

__“No!” The Judge insisted. Griffin couldn’t believe them._ _

__“Then why get all antsy?” Griffin asked. The Judge quickly turned to face him again, their hands balled in fists. Griffin tensed up._ _

__“Because you are digging into something that is best left alone,” the Judge said slowly and quietly. Griffin rolled his eyes._ _

__“Hey, I’m just trying to figure some shit out. The least you can do is answer my questions.”_ _

__“I can’t.”_ _

__“And why not?”_ _

__“I just can’t, alright!” The Judge snapped. Griffin started to feel angry._ _

__“What happened to that thing you said earlier about trust?” Griffin finally asked, and before the Judge could say more, Griffin had vanished, leaving the Judge alone to fume._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this chapter is pretty centric around the events in FC5 and it’s the FC5 anniversary today, I felt like now is a good time if any to post it! : D
> 
> Title is from Hero From the Past by Savant


	5. Childish Qualities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I'm still haunted by those open wounds_  
>  I won't express them truly to you

“I can’t stand being around him! He’s arrogant, cocky, infuriating, and reckless!”

Anna May paced back and forth in the prison block as she ranted, her voice echoed loudly through the old jail, amplifying her voice for anyone around to hear. Sitting at the table beside her, Jacob and John Seed listened, or rather, it seemed like John was the only one actually listening. Jacob had pulled out a small block of wood and was slowly carving into it with a knife, whittling who knows what. John, however, was immersed in Anna May’s rant, waiting for her to be silent again so he can speak.

“I didn’t even want to go with him to Prosperity in the first place! I just wanted to stay home, but no! I have to follow this Captain around and act like his babysitter! I don’t understand how he is suppose to save New Eden! Do you think maybe Joseph saw a different man?” Anna May finished. She looked down at John expectantly, waiting to see what he says.

“Well, Wrath certainly has been feeling more like her old self today,” John chuckled, nudging Jacob with his elbow. Anna May’s frown grew bigger.

“This isn’t a joke!” She said, slamming her hands down on the table, causing Jacob to look up at her, an eyebrow raised.

“The Father is counting on this man and all he has done is get me and Carmina in an unnecessary dangerous situation and stick his nose in places it doesn’t belong!” Anna May yelled.

“He found the Word, just as Joseph said he would,” Jacob said, the first thing he has said since Anna May had left her cell to talk to the brothers, “Maybe all of this isn’t because of something he’s doing and more of something you’re failing to do.”

“I let go of my past, just as the Father asked me to,” Anna May said. She pointed off to the side at nothing. “And that Captain has the audacity to come up to me and start asking questions he shouldn’t be asking. What’s worse, he defiled that bunker and stole me and Joseph’s things from it! How did that stupid thing even get down there? Why wear it?!” Her face twisted up and she shook her head.

John’s composure was calm. He stood up and walked over to Anna May, who turned to face him as he reached out with both hands to grab her by the shoulders.

“Anna May. Anna May,” he said, shaking his head sadly at her, “you’re overthinking this.”

“Am I, John?” Anna May asked, “I should of known this was going to happen, it was stupid of me to follow him. I should of gotten Joseph to realize-“

“Maybe this is what God wants,” Jacob interrupted, “Joseph has been right so far.”

“But how much more will God tell him?” Anna May asked. John and Jacob were silent.

“I think I should leave, in the morning,” Anna May insisted, “We’re not far from New Eden, I can get back home, hide in my hut for a few days-“

“And disobey the Father?” John asked, his eyes widening. Anna May was silent.

“She’s scared, John,” Jacob said, putting his knife and the block of wood down on the table. He stood up and began walking around to the two of them. “Also foolish, cowardly, and rash,” he continued.

“I know!” Anna May yelled, causing John to let go of her, “I know I am, but what can I do about it!? I can’t change anything! I can’t-“

“Then stop letting him get to you,” Jacob said. He stopped right next to her, placed his hands on the table and leaned over to look at her

“How?” Anna May asked, looking back at him pleadingly.

“Well, Wrath,” John said, sitting down on Anna May’s other side, “the first thing you can do is stop getting mad at him every time he so much as mentions the word “Deputy” or asks you remotely anything about yourself.”

“I don’t want him finding out-“

“And you think reacting like a rabid animal is going to not have him learn the truth?” John said, smirking at her. 

“What do I do then?” she asked.

“You can do the obvious thing,” Jacob said, “or you can stay silent and wait for all of this to be over, then go back to how things were, just as you wanted.”

“And what is the obvious thing?” Anna May asked, but before John or Jacob could reply, they were interrupted by a loud cough.

Sheriff Whitehorse was standing in the block entrance, watching the conversation. He nodded at Anna May.

“Rook,” He said in greeting, then brought his attention back to the Seed brothers, “it’s time for us to go.”

Jacob nodded at Whitehorse before he disappeared back through the door. Jacob walked over to where he was sitting and picked up the wooden object.

“Think I might be able to finish this?” He asked John, who was already heading off through the block door.

“Maybe later, when things die down,” he replied, and the two left, leaving Anna May to wonder what exactly Jacob Seed meant.

————————

“Yeah, you know bros, I don’t think this is the right place to raise a baby.”

No fucking shit, the Judge thought, looking at the carnage around them. Sharky’s traps had taken out a large number of the Highwaymen but arrows and saw blade littered the grass as well. It was a hard fight.

Griffin, Carmina, and the Judge has showed up at Sharky Bowshaw’s chateau earlier the previous day, if the old water plant could even be called that. The Judge was amazed that Sharky was still alive after so long, even before the Collapse he was a thing of terror, committing all sorts of crimes that had the law chasing him all over Hope County, before Eden’s Gate got in the way. 

But Sharky currently seemed to be thriving in the apocalypse. The Judge should of known he would, if anyone could of made a good thing out of the end of the world it would of been him and his cousin, Hurk, but they’re more surprised so to see Sharky with a kid, and much more so when they found out the baby, Blade, was Hurks son. Parenthood seemed to fit Sharky well, however, and the Judge could only be grateful that the child was still well enough to arrive to Prosperity in one piece.

“That baby was ours, rabbit!” A voice faintly layered with static yelled. The Judge saw Griffin pull out his radio, listening to Mickey and Lou’s message. They left him to it to go among the corpses, pulling out any salvageable arrows. 

Sharky approached Griffin and Carmina, who were standing next to the radio, finish listening to the Twins threats.

“They don’t sound to happy,” Sharky said, “I may head over to Prosperity then. Blade can be safe and I can finally get some sleep.”

“Looks like you need it,” Griffin said. He was right, Sharky looked exhausted. 

“It’s fine, amigo,” Sharky said, “anyway, I’m sure you three have some important stuff to get around to. I’m gonna go pack my things and change the little tykes diaper, then I should be good to go. Peace out, bros.”

Sharky headed off to the half blown up building, talking soothingly to a laughing Blade in his arms. Griffin watched him go and sighed, shaking his head.

“If I ever meet this Hurk he was talking about, I’m going to have to have a serious talk with him about who he leaves his kids with,” Griffin said.

“Leaving Hurk with a kid would of been more chaotic, it’s better it’s like this,” Carmina said, “besides, Sharky makes a good mom.”

“What kind of person is- you know what, never mind,” Griffin sighed then looked up at the fading night sky.

“Dawn should be here shortly. I say we should sleep but I’m not tired, how about you two?”

The Judge shook their head as Carmina said no.

“Then we should probably head out,” Griffin said. He flicked a knob on the side of his radio and started listening to it. The Judge heard voices through it and flinched as they heard music. They instinctively raised their hands to their head, covering their ears.

Carmina gave them an odd look and the Judge walked away from them, when they felt safe enough, they lowered their hands. The woods were silent now, the noises from distant fights faint in the quiet. It was… peaceful. The Judge sat down and looked into the trees, waiting for Griffin to be done with whatever he was doing.

Once the Twins are gone, the Judge could go home. They sat and thought about that, longing to just be in their hut, preparing to go hunting with other Chosen. The Judge actually was tired, they realized while sitting there. After a restless sleep last night, as well as Sharky’s ridiculous plan for trapping that plant so he can raise a baby in peace, the Judge yearned more and more to just go home.

They miss not having to worry about anything, how their duties to New Eden kept them distracted, but all of this waiting has been pulling them to their thoughts more and more, and being in Prosperity around people they use to know did not help.

No, it did not make them feel good at all.

This was more preferable anyway. Out here, it was easy to avoid everyone. They could stay the night in some old barn and not have to worry about the prying eyes of their old friends. Out here, the Judge wasn’t scared that they’ll find out what they’ve done.

The Judge shook their head, trying to avoid thinking about the past, as foot steps walked up to them. They turned to see Carmina walking quickly to them. They stood up.

“We’re leaving,” she said urgently. Confused, the Judge followed her back to Griffin as she led them to him. He was all ready to go.

“Are you sure that was your dad?” Griffin asked. 

“Of course I’m sure, I can pick his voice out from anywhere,” Carmina said. 

They found Nick Rye? The Judge looked expectantly at Griffin, waiting for what he decides to do.

“Well, we’re going to save him,” Griffin said.

“Where did he say he was at?” Carmina asked, looking down at the now silent radio.

“A scrap yard. Sounds like they’re having him build things,” Griffin said. He put his radio back on his belt and pulled out his saw launcher, checking the ammo on the weapon. “I should be good for another fight. Judge?”

The Judge hissed, making Griffin nod.

“Right, well, sounds like we’re ready to go.”

“What about Blade and Sharky?” Carmina asked.

“Sharky is a good parent and seems to know somewhat what he’s doing, I’m sure he’ll be able to get to Prosperity on his own,” Griffin said.

Carmina looked unsure but shrugged. “We may not get another shot,” she said, “Dads been their prisoner for a long time, who knows when they’ll move him again.”

“So we have to act fast,” Griffin said, “we’ll take the road north, like he said. Hopefully they don’t have a lot of Highwaymen guarding him, but we have to be careful.”

“So what are we waiting for then, let’s go,” Carmina said, and she took off. The Judge let Griffin walk past them before they began to move as well. The group made it to the dirt path the Highwaymen were driving down earlier and followed it, heading uphill through the trees. 

The sun was just beginning to rise above the trees when they managed to make it to where Nick described his current prison. They were at an old garage surrounded by broken vehicles and other machinery. The Judge crouched and crept forward, following behind Griffin and Carmina as they scouted the yard in front of them. It seemed there were only four Highwaymen guarding it, one was on top of one of the cars, keeping watch, while the others were hanging around an old wooden table covered in cards and beer.

The sound of a saw went off in the garage next to them and the Judge could hear Carmina gasp.

“Do you see your dad?” Griffin asked. Carmina shook her head.

“Alright, I’m going to sneak around them and get that guy,” Griffin pointed to the look out above them, “when he falls, you two kill the other three. That should draw out the guy in the garage and we can take care of him next.”

“Be careful,” Carmina said, and Griffin took off. The Judge watched and waited, carefully pulling out an arrow and raising their bow, aiming for one of the card playing Highwaymen.

When Griffin’s hands appeared to grab the lookouts ankles, the Judge let loose the arrow, burying it in the Highwayman’s back. The other two stood up as their lookout fell, Griffin making quick work of him. Carmina jumped up to her feet and began to shoot, causing the other two Highwaymen to jump out of the way. 

One tried to stand and charge at Carmina and the Judges position, but Griffin had pulled out his weapon, an old handmade sawlauncher, and shot it, burying a saw blade into the man’s neck. He bent forward, desperately trying to pull the blade out of the open wound, before he collapsed and grew still.

The last one had ran, racing to the other side of the garage and hiding behind the wall. Carmina and the Judge left their spot and approached it, running back only when more shots went off.

“Fuck off!” The woman shouted. Griffin started to sneak around, but hid behind a pile of old logs as she shot at him more.

The Judge looked up at the top of the garage and jumped, grabbing the ledge. The started to pull themself up, then felt Carmina lifting them up from below. They managed to get a knee up over the ledge before pulling themself up and slowly crept to where the woman was at, putting another arrow in their bow. 

The Judge reached the edge of the garage and drew the string, shooting the woman in the shoulder. She cried out, breaking the arrow. Another arrow stopped her screams and Carmina and Griffin were able to leave their hiding places.

The three regrouped in front of the closed garage. Carmina lifted her gun and nodded to Griffin. He and the Judge got their hands under the garage door and lifted it up, filling the small space with sunlight. 

Inside was a dusty old car, one that the only man in the room was working on. 

Nick Rye blinked in the sudden sunlight, squinting at Griffin, Carmina, and the Judge. He looked a lot older than when the Judge has last seen him. His hair was gray, and he left his flannel and jacket for an old red sweater and utility belt. The Judge watched as Carmina lowered her gun and rushed forward, giving her father a hug before he could even speak.

“Carmina, what are you…?” Nick looked back up at Griffin then at the Judge.

“We heard you on the radio,” Carmina’s voice was muffled as she had her face buried in her dad's chest. 

“We’re going to have to leave, before more show up,” Griffin said, a little urgently.

Carmina pulled away from Nick, wiping her eyes. Nick nodded at Griffin.

“We need to get movin’. They always have someone coming by to check up on this place. Lucky for us, I got a little something I’ve been saving for my escape plan. Come on, partner.”

The four of them left the garage. As they walked, Nick filled them in on where he’s been.

“They’ve been always moving me around, gettin me to fix up their vehicles. I tried to get away a couple of times, but then they started threatening Kim and Carmina, so I had to stop. Figured every once in a while I’ll send some radio message for help and hope someone will come by, but the Twins have been making me work on finishing up my plane for them and to make them a brand new one!”

Nick spit on the ground in disgust.

He led them down a path to an old boathouse and waved his hand at the direction of an unfinished plane sitting outside of it. They walked inside, the Judge following last, as always, and saw what Nick Rye was hiding inside. It was Carmina, but not the Carmina that the Judge and Griffin have been running around with for the last week, this was the first Carmina, the plane that the Judge remembers breaking into the Seed Ranch and taking back for him. 

Only now, the plane wasn’t in the same glory as it use to. For one, it’s wings are missing, dents and scratches covered it, showing the weather and weapon torn struggles the machine went through. The Judge wasn’t even sure if Carmina was even going to move again, but Nick seemed confident, as he stepped up to the plane and slapped the side of it a couple times.

“Here’s our ticket out of here,” he said, proudly, “I didn’t have the time to finish it, I was hoping I could of fixed her up, give her to Carmina as a birthday present-“

“Aww, Dad!” Carmina said.

“-but she’ll have to do. She’ll move, but she won’t fly yet.”

“That means two of us are going to have to stay behind,” Griffin said. The Judge looked at him, Griffin met their eyes and nodded, then pushed Carmina over to Nick.

“Cap, what are you doing?” Carmina asked, shooting him a confused glance.

“Get on the plane with your dad, get back to Prosperity,” Griffin said.

“But what about you?” Carmina asked, looking at him then the Judge.

“We’ll be fine, kiddo. Go with your dad, you’ll see us soon,” Griffin said.

Nick was already getting on the plane. Carmina stood there for a moment then ran to give Griffin a hug, making the Captain’s eyes go wide.

“Thank you, Cap,” she said, “For everything.”

“Come on, Carmina, let’s surprise your mom,” Nick said as he got into the pilots seat.

Griffin patted her awkwardly on the back a few times until she let go, following Nick onto the plane. They watched as Nick started up the engine, and then, miraculously, they moved. The Judge watched, surprised, as the plane began to move forward, sailing on the water as it followed the Henbane home to Prosperity.

“Well, I can't say I didn’t wish to be there to see the look on Kim’s face when he gets home,” Griffin said as they watched Carmina disappear down the river bend. He glanced sideways at the Judge, “What about you?”

“I’m happy for them,” the Judge said, meaning it.

“You better be,” Griffin playfully pushed the Judge, then made his way out of the old boathouse, the Judge slowly trailing after him. It was quiet outside, thankfully. The only noise besides the ever distant gunshots were chirping animals and the river itself, the bright turquoise colored water bubbled gently as the river lazily moved along its path.

“We may have to cut our trip to Roughneck Crag for another time,” Griffin said, “get straight back to Prosperity, talk to Kim, see if they made it back. Then we can go check up on Nana and Jerome.”

“What about the Twins?” The Judge asked.

“Well we can't immediately go after them now,” Griffin said, “Prosperity just got attacked and is only slowly being rebuilt.”

“But you have Joseph’s support, I don’t think you realize how much power you have.”

“Not much, especially with the scavengers being ready to tear into your guys's throats. You don’t trust them and they don’t trust you.”

“I trust them,” the Judge said. Griffin raised an eyebrow at the Judge but didn’t elaborate.

“All I’m saying is that even with New Eden’s help it would be stupid of us to run right back into a fight without preparing for it first. Mickey and Lou are not going to let me go again, if we have to attack them, it’s going to have to be the last time we do it,” Griffin looked inside the car and opened the car door, searching around in it. He came out a moment later, shutting the door and leaning on the side of it.

“Once Rush is better we should be able to get more done. He always knows what to do, in fact, if it wasn’t for him, Kim wouldn’t of let us go to you for help, meaning your father would still be hiding up north from you guys.”

“You have a lot of trust in this man, Rush,” The Judge said. They only been around the man once but just in that interaction, the Judge knew that he was a good person, the best person probably, for Prosperity and to keep the moral of the place up. 

“I trust him with my life,” Griffin said, “we’ve been through a lot together, him and I. I wouldn’t of been here without him and I don’t want it to be any other way.”

“Why is that?”

“I lived in New York City before the world ended and if you’ve never been to New York before, all you need to know is that it is the worst place to live on Earth. I hated it, so when the Collapse came, I finally had a good excuse to leave the city, especially since it was nothing more than rubble at that point. Rush gave me something to move on to and helping people has given me a better purpose than whatever the hell I was doing before. I like my life now.”

The Judge nodded. Griffin looks like he barely takes care of himself now, they can’t imagine what the Captain looked like before Rush found him.

“Speaking of Prosperity, I owe you an apology.”

“For?” The Judge asked, very confused.

“What happened a couple of days ago,” Griffin said as he shuffled through some items in a cabinet, “listen, if I knew that talking about the Deputy would upset you I wouldn’t of brought it up and I shouldn’t of kept pushing you for answers. I’m trying to learn as much of this place as I can but you have to understand, I don’t know anything about any of this stuff, and honestly, I just want to go home after all of this is over, not start another fight.”

“Yet you still wear that jacket,” the Judge said. Griffin looked down on himself.

“Yeah, well, truth be told I only took it cause I thought it looked cool,” he said, quietly, as if embarrassed. 

“Well, I’m sorry that I snapped at you for it,” the Judge said after a pause, “I overreacted. I’ll try to do better.”

“I will too. So, we’re cool?” Griffin asked.

“Yeah. Once again, we’re cool,” the Judge said. They wonder how many more times the two of them will have to have talks like this before all of this is over.

“Great. Now, I do have a personal question to ask you, if that is fine?” Griffin pulled his head out of the cabinet and leaned against it.

“That is… fine,” the Judge said, however, they felt themself tense up again.

“Why are you Joseph’s ‘shadow’ of whatever he called you?” Griffin asked.

The Judge didn’t say anything, thinking hard. No, the question didn’t bother them, but figuring out how to answer it without telling Griffin too much, well, that was a different story.

Griffin raised an eyebrow at them then waved a hand, walking out of the garage and around to the side, heading for the woods behind it. The Judge followed him and, after another long break, finally answered his question.

“I was born into this world,” the Judge began.

“Yes, through the fire and the flames, yada yada,” Griffin said.

“You don’t understand,” the Judge said. They shook their head. 

“Continue,” Griffin said.

“I was lost. I had made so many mistakes in the past, things I regret. Joseph showed me a new path and I followed it. It led me here and so, here we are.”

“That’s great and all, him turning your life around and everything, but why follow him. Are you upset with everything he’s done, like everyone else is?”

Griffin stopped at a log, one leg resting on it, and he turned to stare at the Judge.

“The Father saved my life,” the Judge said.

“And is that a good enough reason to follow someone as unpopular with half of Hope County as he is?” Griffin asked.

“I thought you liked Joseph,” the Judge said.

“I do,” Griffin replied.

“So why the questions and the accusations?”

“People in Prosperity are scared,” Griffin said, “Kim is anxious, Rush doesn’t know what to do about this alliance problem, and I certainly don’t know how to calm the Scavengers down. You are probably the closest person to Joseph Seed I know, next to Ethan, I want to understand why someone who was never a member of Eden’s Gate would want to join them now, after hearing about everything he did. I want to know why you trust him when so many people don’t.”

The Judge stayed silent, waiting for Griffin to continue to walk, but he never moved. The Judge sighed and crossed their arms, looking down on the ground.

“Joseph Seed has hurt a lot of people,” they said, “the Scavengers, his family, even me, but more so himself. He’s not perfect. Maybe it is right to judge him for the things he did, maybe he deserves it, but-“

The Judge paused. Griffin finished stepping over the log and waited for the Judge to follow. They started walking again.

“He brought me hope, after everything seemed like it was never going to get better. Even if what he did in the past was wrong, he has always been right. All anyone can hope for now is for this war to end and for peace to return, just as he said it would.”

“And what if they don’t,” Griffin said, “If things between the Scavengers and New Eden get bad enough, after the Highwaymen are gone, and Joseph decides to go to war with them again, then what will you do?”

“My loyalty is with the Father,” the Judge said, “if that is how it is to be, then I’ll fight at his side, not against him.”

“Even if what you think what he’s doing is wrong?” Griffin asked.

“Yes,” The Judge said, as confidently as they could sound. They quickened their pace until they were walking ahead of Griffin, leading the now silent Captain home.

———————

She couldn’t tell what time it was.

The room lacked any clock and, of course, windows, but to Anna May, her time underground has felt like an eternity. She shuffled her legs under her, trying, again, to find a comfortable position on the hard floor to sit on. The handcuffs didn’t help, however, lucky for her, she was alone at the moment and much more lenient to relax, allowing herself to stretch out before Joseph returns and she would have to hide again.

She leaned her head against the foot of the bed and stared blankly at the paper covered wall in front of her, then at the wall next to her. Joseph has taken to scratching the days on the wall to her left. She wanted to ask him to move his home made calendar somewhere else, the noise from the scratching bothered her when he came in each morning to make another mark. Maybe he would of listened to her, but she has not said a single word since she was pulled out of that car. Of course, Joseph, the very last person she would of ever wanted a conversation with, was the only one to talk to, so silent she remained. Maybe she just can’t speak anymore.

She couldn’t tell what she hated more, listening to Joseph’s sermons as he spoke of her sins and of the end of the world, or the silence, where her own thoughts were the only thing keeping her company as time crawled on.

Anna May blinked wearily and closed her eyes as the soft sound of footsteps could be heard approaching Dutches old room. Here we go again, she thought, as Joseph walked in.

He took a couple of steps forward and knelt beside her, then, surprising Anna May, she felt him grab her wrists and opened her eyes when she felt the handcuffs be removed. She leaned back against the wall and raised her hands closer to her face. The cuts she had made visible scars around her wrists and hands, showing where the handcuffs had cut into her weeks ago. She looked up at Joseph, who had stood up, holding out a hand to help her up. Anna May shook her head and, holding the edge of the bed rail, raised herself to a standing position on shaky legs.

Joseph tossed the handcuffs to the side and raised his arms, as if he was going to try to help her walk. Anna May quickly raised a hand to stop him and he froze then took a step back to give her space. She took one step, then two, forward, using the wall beside her to keep herself standing, a good thing too, for her legs were shaking so bad, she was surprised they were able to hold her weight at all.

Once she had taken third step, Anna May stopped, and turned to face Joseph, who had just stood there and watched her slowly walk. After a few moments where Anna May struggled to grasp at the questions she had swimming in her head, for the first time in what could only be a month, she spoke.

“Why?” She asked, her voice coming out cracked and hoarse.

“If we are to be a family-“

“I don’t want to be a part of your sick family!” Anna May growled furiously. For a moment, she saw rage flash in Joseph’s eyes, but as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. He nodded his head.

“You’ll understand, in time,” Joseph said.

“I want to understand now!” Anna May said. She tried to walk towards Joseph, but stumbled, falling on her hands and knees. Joseph made no move to help her up this time, instead, he took another step back and looked down at her.

“After all that you have witnessed you still hold onto your Pride,” he said as he watched Anna May struggle to her feet, “but the lord forgives all those who seek to see the truth, and you, Deputy, will understand yet.”

“Enough with the cryptic shit, Joseph, just tell me exactly what you want to say,” Anna May said, holding onto the wall again for support.

“I have nothing important to say to you, for now,” Joseph turned to the door, “go, get some rest. I will speak to you again soon.”

“Just talk to me now you-!” But Joseph had already left the room. Anna May was furious. What the hell is this about? Is this some sort of trick he’s pulling on her or is he trying to get her to bend to his will, just like he did with every single person in his “family?” Well whatever he did to them, he won’t let him do it to her.

She’ll die before she breaks to Joseph Seed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing this chapter took forever, mainly cause I kept messing around with Griffin’s and the Judge’s conversation. I don’t plan on having each chapter end with a conversation between the two of them, but that seems the case so far.
> 
> I’m excited for the next chapter.
> 
> Chapter Title is lyrics from Hole in the Earth by Daughter


	6. Alone With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _All I needed was to hear the truth_  
>  I'm lying naked and my brain has lost its screws  
> I hid away inside a lonely room  
> Never as lonely as when I'm alone with you

Walking to New Eden the first time was unnerving, now it was downright terrifying. They trudged through the swamp like woods north, the Judge leading the way through the forest as Griffin tripped behind them. He couldn’t understand how they knew where they were going through these trees, it was dark as hell, and with the thick canopy above, not even the lights that danced in the sky could provide something to brighten their way.

But the Judge pressed forward, and Griffin followed, careful to keep the Judges large figure in front of him and hoping that he had not separated from his companion in the dark and was following something far more sinister through the woods.

It could of been close to midnight for all he knew and after today’s events, Griffin was exhausted and longed for nothing more than to reach New Eden and finally go to sleep.

“How much further?” He asked, wincing as he slammed his foot against a fallen log. 

“Not far,” The Judge whispered. As they said that, Griffin saw faint torchlight through the trees. They left the forest to the path that led to the New Eden compound, Griffin was able to make out the large gate that opened up to the settlement in the distance and sighed, relieved. 

“Oh thank God,” he muttered, following the Judge up to the town. The Judge gave the gate a couple of knocks and the two of them were let in, greeted by a couple of Chosen.

“We saw you coming to the gates,” one said. She was an old woman with gray hair and tired, sad eyes, but she gave Griffin a small smile and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “The Father will be happy to see you.”

The Judge led him up the stairs and through the path to the large shack Ethan, and now Joseph, lived in. Griffin knocked and immediately the door opened, showing a disgruntled Ethan who narrowed his eyes at Griffin.

“Outsider,” He said, in greeting, his voice not at all sounding like he was glad to see the Captain. He looked down then up at Griffin then down again, then finally, to the Judge right next to him. He smiled at them and opened the door wider, allowing Griffin inside. Griffin walked in through the doorway, but turned around when he realized the Judge was not following him.

“Are you coming in?” He asked. They shook their head.

“The Judge lives outside of New Eden, in the woods,” Ethan said,”they’ll return home and come back tomorrow.”

“So I guess I won’t be seeing you until later then?” Griffin asked. The Judge nodded and, without so much as a wave goodbye, turned and began to leave, taking the path back down to the gates. Griffin found himself sad to see them go, but soon went inside, keen to just get a good night's rest. Ethan closed the door behind him, that strange smile still on his face.

Joseph was there as well, sitting on a makeshift chair that faced his portrait, back to the door. It reminded Griffin of when he first met the man.

“Father? The outsider is back,” Ethan said. He went over to one of the pillars holding the house up and leaned against it, watching Joseph, who had turned to face Griffin.

He stood up and lifted his hands, walking over to Griffin to place them on his shoulders.

“It is good to see you again,” Joseph said.

“Uh, yeah. Nice to see you again too, uh…you,” Griffin said, uncomfortable.

“And your people?” Joseph asked, thankfully letting go of him.

“Not too happy,” Griffin said, “Rush and I may have dived too quickly into things. Kim Rye will work with you, but everyone else keeps expecting you all to stab them in the back.”

“I only want to make this valley safe for those who want to live in peace here,” Joseph said.

“They don’t see it that way,” Griffin explained, “most of them are still pretty pissed off at whatever happened before the Collapse and those who were too young or are not from here heard enough stories to be scared of you.”

“So what do you think we should do about it, outsider?” Ethan asked, “after all, you came to us for our help and now your friends don’t want it?” Joseph gave him a look.

Griffin shrugged. “Lets hope no one tries to start a fight? Kim’s willing to give it a go and people respect her enough to listen, for the most part. Last thing we all need is to be fighting among ourselves, I mean, we’re all on the same side for fucks sake.”

“We’ll just have to pray it doesn’t come to that then,” Joseph said quietly. He seemed to have his head elsewhere. Just as Griffin opened his mouth to say something, Joseph spoke.

“You’re doing well,” Joseph said, “you must be tired. Go, rest.”

“Thanks,” Griffin said. He was going to ask Joseph about possible options they have to fix this messy truce, but Griffin didn’t mind waiting for an answer. Nothing sounded better to him at that moment than a long night's rest, even if it was in the middle of peggie territory.

——————

Griffin awoke the next morning, still sore, but feeling much better than he did last night. He sat up and looked around the room and realized that he was alone. Joseph and Ethan must of left while he was sleeping. Picking up his discarded jacket, he swung his legs off the bed and stood up, putting the coat on. 

Outside the town was wide awake, the sun already high in the sky. He must of slept late, he thought, looking around before walking down the path, heading towards the center of New Eden. A couple of peggies greeted him from their wooden homes, some of them were mending old clothes while others were talking among themselves. Griffin passed by a group of Chosen and a cougar, taking caution to put some distance between himself and the large animal.

He looked around, confused, trying to see if Joseph or Ethan were anywhere. He was startled when a tap on his shoulder made him turn around. It was the Judge.

“Hey, pal, didn’t see you there,” he said. The Judge grunted.

“Cool, Cool. Any idea where Joseph is at?” Griffin asked. Another grunt, but this time, the Judge beckoned him to follow, leading Griffin past the gates and down towards the edge of the Henbane River. At the end of the path was another wooden hut next to a makeshift pier. No one, except for Ethan, who was watching Griffin and the Judge approach, was there. Griffin stopped halfway down the path, staring at him.

“I said I wanted to see Joseph,” He said, speaking louder so Ethan can hear.

“Father’s not here right now,” Ethan called, not moving from his spot. The Judge beckoned at Griffin who, reluctantly, followed until he reached Ethan. Ethan gave the Judge a approving nod.

“You did well, my friend,” he said to them, “leave us for a bit. I want to talk to our new Shepard.”

The Judge didn’t move for a moment, then finally nodded, turning around to walk up the path away from them, clearly taking their time.

“Where did Joseph go?” Griffin asked, “I was hoping we could talk about the Scavengers. I got a couple of questions I wanted to ask him.”

“He went off somewhere,” Ethan said, “that’s something my father likes to do, just… disappear.”

“...Right,” Griffin said. Truth be told, he wasn’t thrilled to be talking to Ethan right now. He’s spent more time with him than he has with Joseph and he already knows he prefers the latter’s company more.

“So why did you have the Judge bring me here? Trying to drown me?”

Ethan gave him a curious look.

“You take me for a murderer?” He asked.

“No offense, but I’ve been getting quite the impression that you don’t like me that much,” Griffin crossed his arms.

“A mistake on my part,” Ethan said, giving Griffin his ever so creepy smile, “but let’s move that behind us, after all, you are to be our savior now.”

“And what exactly does that mean?” Griffin asked.

“Well God did tell father of the Shepherd that will lead us and rebuild New Eden. Unfortunately, he had decided it would not be my father this time.” Ethan looked back out to the water and shook his head, “the old man is getting, well, old. Ideally, I should be the one in charge-“

“Yeah I get it, you stuck by New Eden-“

“-but it does not seem to be the case anymore,” Ethan interrupted loudly. He turned to Griffin. “I’ve done all my people wanted me to do and they still would of rather put their faith in the man that has had abandoned them and now they put their faith in a non-believer.”

“Why does it matter so much to you who gets to be in charge anyway?” Griffin asked.

“Because it is my right. I am his son.”

“America isn’t a monarchy, kid-“

“This is not America anymore, outsider,” Ethan cut him off.

Griffin nodded. “Yeah. You are right about that. But I’m not here to become some hippie in the woods once this is all over.”

“Hippie?” Ethan said, giving Griffin an offended look.

“Sorry, New Edener, I mean? Anyway, you guys probably won’t see me again once me and Rush have this place cleaned up.”

“Who is this Rush? You mentioned him a lot when we first met. Why is this man important?” Ethan asked.

“Friend of mine, a really good friend. If anyone is going to solve Hope County’s Highwaymen problem, it’s going to be him. He’s the one who got the idea to go to you guys for help and he’s been helping Kim build Prosperity. He knows how to build everything, food sources, water purifiers, all sorts of stuff. I’m just a security officer, I don’t do much, yeah I’ve helped out a little, but once Rush gets better, he’s the one that’s gonna rebuild Hope County, not me.”

“You don’t seem to have that high of an opinion about yourself.”

“Yeah, well, there’s nothing so prideful about being a sad man from Manhattan, now is there?” Griffin asked. He was slowly getting annoyed at the conversation. This was getting him nowhere.

“It must be something if you’ve managed to make it all the way out here,” Ethan said, “so you think the Father was wrong?”

“Yeah, I guess? It was kind of creepy that he knew who I was before I even met him, but this whole County is weird,” Griffin shrugged.

“Father has made many mistakes in the past, I wouldn’t be surprised if he still makes them now.”

“Do you want Joseph to be wrong?” Griffin asked.

“No,” Ethan said. Griffin had a hard time believing him. “I am just concerned for the future of New Eden, as the Father is, but the people he decides to put his faith in concern me. He’s trusting an outsider, his old enemies, he even trusts his siblings murderer more than me. It leaves me to be more than a little doubtful of whom he wishes to have us follow.”

“His siblings murderer? You mean the Deputy?” Griffin asked, bewildered.

“So you have heard of her and you still haven’t figured it out yet?” Ethan asked, grinning, “well, I guess he trusts me more with some thing’s than you…”

“So she is still alive?” Griffin asked.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“All of her friends are concerned and they think she’s dead.“

“Oh no,” Ethan said in mocked shock. He took a couple steps towards Griffin and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If I were you, outsider, I’d pay more attention to those you talk to. My father is a very good liar, and he isn’t the only one. You may learn more about who you can really trust.”

“And I can trust you?” Griffin asked.

“I’ve been nothing but honest with you this whole time.”

“You told me Joseph was dead.”

“I can’t lie to you if I think what I’m telling you is the truth,” Ethan said.

He did looked as shocked as everyone else when Joseph showed up back in town, Griffin thought. Still, he was starting to feel very uneasy. Why does Joseph trust the person who murdered his family and why hasn’t she returned home, unless Joseph has her locked up as a prisoner somewhere. If Joseph has kept the Deputy alive, does that mean the man really has changed or is he still the same cult leader from the horror stories Kim told him? 

The idea of that sent chills up his spine. Ethan had patted his shoulder and began to walk away, taking the path back up to the town of New Eden. Griffin watched him go, hesitant to follow him back to a place that now felt much less safer than before.

——————

“When are we leaving?” 

Joseph looked up from his book when Anna May spoke. The two of them were in the living room area of the bunker, Anna May was sitting on one of the chairs watching the fish swim lazily in the fish tank and Joseph was at the kitchen table, using the light overhead to read.

Although Anna May was finally talking to him again, she wasn’t giving him much to work with. Their conversations have been mainly one sided, Joseph preached constantly to Anna May, talking about what is to be expected of them both when they finally leave Dutches Bunker. Anna May just listened, silent, as he talked.

She didn’t want to give him the indication that she was listening to him. Her punishment is his too, and if she was to feel as alone as she did with him, then he was too with her.

So she saved her voice for other things, planning meals, minor repairs needed in the bunker, reminders, only things like that. Anna May had taken to rummaging through Dutch’s old clothes, finding things she would want to wear besides her Deputy uniform. She too has also placed things out for Joseph, insisting that he’d put a shirt on, which, sometimes, he would oblige. Joseph would use these opportunities to try and give her his “Word” but Anna May was not about to give in to it that easily. She gained very little satisfaction from watching him glare when she interrupted him, reminding him in the middle of his sermon that they were to take inventory later that day, but satisfaction nonetheless.

But she was still scared. Joseph and Anna May have not spent a night in Dutches room since he freed her. The two of them had each made their own spaces in the room next door instead, Anna May took a couple of the bunk beds and made her own makeshift fort, a small space of solitude where she didn’t have to even look at Joseph Seed. Meanwhile, he took refuge away from her in his own corner, going to bed each night without so much as a goodnight, then waking up in the morning long before Anna May was be able to muster up the motivation to get out of bed.

But worse so was his praying, not the prayers that he said when he tried to drag her into his sermons, but the ones he spoke late at night when he thinks she’s asleep, sometimes waking Anna May up in the middle of them with his whispering. She never could exactly understand what was being said, but his hushed voice was always either angry or full of sorrow, sometimes both. The prayer terrified her, and she would lie awake petrified as he spoke, reminding her exactly what the man was capable of.

Yes, being underground with Joseph Seed was terrifying, but nothing scared her more than leaving. It kept her up at night longer than Joseph’s constant prayer did, guilt, hopelessness, and her own self hatred rolling inside her like a parasite, tearing into her slowly. This was what her efforts have rewarded her with.

Maybe Joseph’s siblings were right, she would sometimes think as she laid in bed, staring at the same spot on the mattress above her. People have ended up dead because of her, first Virgil, then Eli, all of Joseph’s siblings, countless peggies, her friends. Joseph likes to remind Anna May that he has forgiven her, but none of that even mattered if she can’t even forgive herself. Everyone was better off without her and it’s only through Joseph’s self righteous madness that she was still alive now. He needs someone to tell he was right to, and oh does he tell her.

But then she will remember what Hudson told her back at John’s bunker, how he sat and watched as the people his brother stole begged him to free them, and he did nothing. So Anna May’s heart hardened, certain, at least until the cycle repeats, that she had done the right thing.

Anna May turned away from the fish tank to look at Joseph. He had closed his book and was watching Anna May intently, waiting for her to speak again.

“When can we leave the bunker?” She repeated.

Joseph stayed quiet for a moment. 

“When the time is right,” he finally said.

“And when is that?”

“When I am told it is time.”

“And what has your “Voice” told you since we got down here?” Anna May asked.

“Nothing, yet,” Joseph said, “but when the lord feels like we are ready to see Eden’s Garden, he will tell me.”

“And how can you be so sure?” 

“I know it will happen. If God wanted me to stay underground forever, he wouldn’t of told me I was to rebuild the world with-“ Joseph stopped himself and crossed his arms, laying them on the table in front of him. “Why is this important to you?”

“Can’t stay down here forever,” Anna May said, “we need to make a plan.”

“God will-“ 

“You can’t rely on God for everything!” Anna May snapped, now glaring at Joseph. Joseph looked taken aback, before he leaned forward, looking directly at Anna May.

“If it is God’s will for us to stay here forever then so be it,” he said calmly, “perhaps if you had left your Pride behind with the old world then maybe you too would have faith.”

“Faith?” Anna May scoffed, “and where has your faith led you, Joseph?”

“Alive and prepared to rebuild the world, the way God intended it to be,” Joseph said, saying each word slowly. Anna May shook her head.

“Faith isn’t going to feed us and give us clean water,” Anna May said.

“Then what do you propose we do?” Joseph asked, still watching her intently.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. Joseph leaned back into his chair, anger flared in Anna May’s gut when she saw a brief smug look on his face.

“Then we will wait and when God tells us to leave, we will follow.”

“Is that all you know how to do, wait for God to solve every single one of your damn problems?” Anna May asked.

“I never claimed that God will solve all of our problems,” Joseph said, keeping his composure, “but the lord has a plan for all of us, even you, and it is our duty to follow the path he lays out for us.”

“Yeah, And I’m guessing God never gave you a plan for what happens after the world ends, now did he?” Anna May retorted.

“We had a plan,” Joseph said, his voice growing ever so dangerous, “my family and I have prepared for this,” he raised his arms and gestured around him, “for years. We knew it was coming but it was you and your friends who have chosen to keep your minds closed off from God and refuse to accept our help!”

“And I’m sure starting a cult and kidnapping my friends was part of that plan, was it Joseph? Was setting up your siblings to be killed all part of the plan? Murdering all of those Faiths-“ at this point Joseph had stood up, the force of him standing sent the chair he was sitting in flying backwards onto the ground. Anna May stood up with him, thankful for the couch and table that separated them.

“You don’t know anything,” Joseph hissed, “you are blinded by your own illusions, because of your Pride you try to think of anything that paints me as a villain rather than humbling yourself by admitting to being addicted to your own hubris.”

“I don’t need my pride to see the truth, Joseph,” Anna May said, “I’ve seen everything, I know more than you think I do. I know you drugged and threatened Faith, manipulated John, lied to your siblings, just for what? So you can recreate some fucked up passage in a book?”

“God showed me what would happen, it is not my place to change his will!”

“No, it’s just your job to set up the pieces of the puzzle so it’s easier to blame someone else for finishing it for you!” Anna May said.

“You feel so strongly for this and yet you continued to attack and hurt my family,” Joseph’s voice has grown quieter, colder, “You murdered them in cold blood when they begged you to stop and choose to remain deaf to their screams. What right do you have to judge my actions when your own are so heinous?”

“Because your siblings were hurting people, does that not bother you?” Anna May asked, “I’m glad I didn’t listen to you if living in Eden means I’ll have to let you carry on taking your own fucked up vendetta on the world out on innocent people who didn’t want to bend to your rules!”

“We were keeping people safe,” Joseph insisted.

“You’re a fucking idiot then,” Anna May said in disgust, “Did you ever even take the time to see exactly what your people were doing to my friends, or did you just not care that much for your ‘children?’”

“Be careful, Deputy-“ Joseph began.

“No. _NO!_ ” Anna May yelled, interrupting Joseph’s threat, “you do not have any _right_ to tell me what I have done is good or not. Why should I listen to you after everything you did? The people of Hope County, the people you claimed to love as your siblings tortured and killed them, begged for mercy, and you gave none! You could of ended all of this before John died, or Faith, or Jacob, but you stood by and did nothing but gave cryptic messages and told me more horror stories-“

“I was trying to get you to understand-“

“Understand what? How much of a complete psychopath you really are? That I should pity you after hearing your sob stories? How was hurting the people I love trying to get me to understand anything other than that you really don’t care at all for anything but whatever you think God told you? You are not a prophet, Joseph! You are not some messiah! None of this was necessary!”

“What was I supposed to do then?” Joseph yelled back at Anna May, “We could of saved our people together but you destroyed everything!”

“You brought this on yourself, Joseph, not me,” Anna May said, causing Joseph’s eyes to widen.

Anna May had thought that yelling at Joseph would of made her feel better, but the relief she expected never came. Anger was now mixed in with the guilt in her stomach, churning so violently Anna May thinks she is going to vomit because of it. For once, Joseph looked speechless, but his silence didn’t last long. 

“And yet, I was right,” he finally said, “everything that has happened has come true because you had refused to listen. The pain your friends felt had happened because you lashed out on my family first. Can you not expect a beast to retaliate when struck? Did you want us to stand by as you maimed us one by one? What were we to do then?”

“You shouldn’t of had your family attack us on that helicopter and just came with us quietly instead,” Anna May said, but Joseph shook his head.

“It all didn’t begin there,” he said, “before that, in my church, I offered you a choice, did I not? I told you to take your friends and leave in peace. It all could of ended there before it started.”

Joseph had taken a step around the table, slowly walking to where Anna May was standing.

“You ignored me then and started your slaughter, but I was patient. You were friends with John, you of anyone who was marked should of understood that what we were doing was God's work, was good work. Instead, you decided to attack us, to start your resistance. You brought snakes and locusts into our garden and let them run like pests through what was to be our paradise.”

Joseph stopped at the opposite end of the couch from where Anna May stood, the glow from the fish tank illuminated his face in blue light.

“But I was patient still. I tried to guide you to the right path, my siblings tried to help you on my orders, and what did you do? You butchered them for their efforts. But even so, I gave you that choice again, one last time, to leave me and my flock alone and you continued to not listen.”

Anna May was silent as he spoke, only this time, she was frozen, attentive to every word Joseph was saying to her.

“You want to so desperately blame me for what you did but you refuse to see the truth. I gave you every opportunity to leave or to join us and help create peace, but you decided to choose violence. You thrive off of it, crave it like a wolf craves deer, tearing into anything close enough that can perish in your jaws. You never cared about who got hurt, so long as it boosted your own ego, that it made you seem like a hero.”

“And look where it has gotten you, Deputy,” Joseph said, “your friends, dead. My family, dead. Almost too sweet, to be the last one to see what your own pride has brought you. Was it all worth it? Was it?”

Anna May clenched her fists but said nothing, more so to try and calm herself down, but Joseph has already figured out that he was getting under her skin. He took a step forward, then another, speaking very quietly as he walked, almost hypnotizingly.

“You have let your sin take over every bit of you until you have become nothing but it. Pride,” the word came out harsh, laced with Joseph’s hatred and anger, “You let it engulf you and now that you have nothing left, you drown in it. So you stand here, pretending like you can judge me, just as you judged my family, because your pride has led you to believe you have the right to. You care not for how your actions have affected others, only so long as it benefitted yourself and placed you above your so called friends, above your enemies. But no one is above the lord, something you still have yet to understand.”

Joseph had stopped a couple steps from Anna May but she was still standing there, frozen.

“That’s not true,” she said.

“Is it? You claim to be doing the right thing, but what was the right thing? To inflict violence on those who wished to be saved? To drag your friends into your own war on my family? Even now you continue to deny it, but the truth has been here, staring at you, all along. You fought us because violence all you know, and now, your family has perished by your own hand.”

“I didn’t want to fight! I was given no choice!” Anna May said, but she knew that wasn’t true. Joseph was right, he and his siblings have given her a choice, time after time after damn time, each of them gave her the opportunity to stop the fighting before things escalated far enough that the damage would become irreversible.

And all she did in return was kill them.

It can’t be true, it’s all just Joseph getting into people’s heads, the way he always did. He did it with Faith, John, and Jacob, he won’t let him do it to her too.

But despite her defiance, everything started to become clear to Anna May, and slowly, her anger began to be replaced with horror. It all did start at the church, she was the one with the handcuffs. She could of refused to go through with the arrest if she had so desired to, but because she was doing what she thought was her “duty” so many people died. Eli would of been alive still if it wasn’t for her antagonizing Jacob, Virgil would not have gotten murdered if she never had saved Burke from the Bliss, and Hudson would still be alive, unmarked, if Anna May had only just listened.

Joseph continued to stand there and watch Anna May as her thoughts fought each other in her head, but the damage has been done. Joseph had another look on his face, much like the one he had months ago when Anna May first had woken up in the bunker.

“You know it is the truth, as much as you continue to deny it,” Joseph said.

“And what about your crimes, Joseph? What about yours?” Anna May asked. She felt tears roll down her face, making small plinking noises as they hit the floor, but she didn’t tear her eyes away from Joseph’s.

“Only the lord can judge me for my mistakes,” Joseph said. Anna May shook her head.

“But what about the people you hurt? If anyone is still alive up there, they’re not going to forget anything you’ve done. No one is going to forgive you for what you have done. You being right isn’t going to protect you. _God_ isn’t going to protect you. You can tell me how bad my actions are, how I’m a monster for everything I did, but the way I see it, it’s like looking in a mirror.”

Anna May shoved past a now silent Joseph and headed back to the miserable room they both shared, hoping, if anything, she will be granted a peaceful, dreamless sleep away from the nightmare she was currently living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this chapter so much cause I wanted the argument with Joseph and Anna May to feel coherent. Anna May wants Joseph to take some kind of responsibility for what he’s done, though Joseph doesn’t see it that way.
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing it tho. 
> 
> Title is from Screws by Dreamers


	7. Comfort Came Against My Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hope here needs a humble hand  
>  Not a Fox found in your place_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting the notes for this chapter at the beginning more of a warning thing if anything. I did put in the tags that this fic does have self harm in it and this is the chapter that has it. I don’t think i wrote anything too graphic but I know that’s a serious topic and I’m very open for anyone telling me if I fucked up with anything I wrote in this chapter. I want to do better and if I went too far with a subject please let me know, I’m more than happy to rewrite this certain section of the chapter if needed.
> 
> If you’re someone who is very uncomfortable with that stuff, don’t read the last part of this chapter with Joseph and Anna May, that’s where it comes in. I’ll be writing a short summary of that part minus any of the triggering content in the next paragraph, so if you do want to read that section of this chapter without spoilers, don’t read the next paragraph.
> 
> After Joseph and Anna May’s argument, Anna May eventually came to realize that Joseph was really right about her being the one to have started the events led to the Collapse and wants to figure out how to correct her mistakes. She makes her own conclusion that Joseph was also wrong about her sin being Pride and becomes obsessed with atoning for what she thinks her real sin is, Sloth. She tried to go through with John’s form of atonement and Joseph asks her why she chose Sloth, to which Anna May finally admits that she was wrong and he was right, while also asking why she was the one he pulled out of the car wreck and not Whitehorse, Hudson, Pratt, or had even just let Dutch live. Joseph does not know how to answer the question but does let her continue to believe that Sloth is her sin, not Pride. Joseph leaves Anna May alone and Anna May feels better than she has since she first woke up after the car crash.
> 
> Title for this chapter is from Black Flies by Ben Howard.

The old picnic grounds were not at all far from the Chop Shop. The place may have looked like an actual park, a long time ago, but all that remains now were a few scattered pieces of fence and maybe a table or two that wasn’t in splinters.

Griffin laid on one of those tables now, on break, cloud gazing. The lights from above did interesting things to the sky and Griffin was finding himself enjoying just watching it more and more. Sacramento didn’t have as much interesting weather patterns as Hope County did and the more he watched the more he wished it did.

Griffin closed his eyes and felt himself slowly relax. Days have passed by since he helped rescue Nick Rye and Prosperity was ecstatic for it. Griffin had came home to Kim herself rushing over to thank him for saving her husband, a happy Nick and Carmina following behind her.

Nick has taken up fixing up the old garage at Prosperity as his new residence, now set on finishing that plane of his, Carmina. Griffin snorted, remembering the look on Carmina’s face when she asked her dad if he _really_ did name her after an airplane. The garage got finished and Nick started to work, raising moral at Prosperity more than ever.

Griffin wished that they could put some of that hope into their alliance with New Eden as well. He and the Judge returned to the settlement together, but everyone only had eyes on him. He tried to bring them in on the conversation, pointing out how their help made rescuing Nick easier, but nobody around him cared, allowing the Judge to slink past the group of people and go back to their nest.

Griffin knew he needed to talk with Kim and Carmina about their next plans, as well as how they could fix this truce he prematurely made, but with Nick Rye’s return, it felt too soon. They're not going out to attack the Highwaymen again soon anyway. He and Kim had spoken after he came home, talking about the Chop Shop, or what it originally was called, Falls End.

“It’s a great place for us to start another settlement,” she said, “loaded on ethanol, supplies, some of the buildings are still up. Pastor Jerome would love to have his chapel back and Grace would want to fix up the bar there.”

“The first steps in taking back Hope County, for real this time,” Griffin said. Kim nodded.

“There’s another man who lives nearby, Axel-Ray, he can get us started. They used the place to fix vehicles and now that Nick is back, Axel is going to want a new place to set up workshop.”

“Can do,” Griffin said, and had left that morning, alone, to survey the outpost by himself. The place wasn’t bad looking, he thought as he looked around the garage. The few people who showed up after Griffin had cleared the Chop Shop had already cleaned up the outpost a little and were going about their day, as if a few weeks ago the place wasn’t owned by the Highwaymen.

Even with his successes, however, Griffin still had his worries. His conversation with Ethan left a bitter taste in his mouth and he was ready to grill the Judge when he saw them later that same day as they prepared to leave, but he held his tongue. Now he understands why the Deputy is such a touchy subject.

Maybe that’s where Joseph disappeared to, he thought, and sighed, scratching his stomach with one hand, went off to go check on his prisoner somewhere where Prosperity couldn’t find her. He was tempted to tell Kim what Ethan said, and what he didn’t say, but once again, he had kept his mouth shut. She was so happy with Nick’s arrival, he didn’t want to bring back her anger and sadness with this news, especially after she already accepted that the Deputy was dead.

But it doesn’t feel right, he thought, and sat up, looking out into the dunes around him. They deserve to know but Griffin can’t start another war between the Scavengers and New Eden, not with the Highwaymen tearing at their throats. If he has time afterwards, depending on how quickly Rush wants to get back to Sacramento, then he will confront Joseph about it, but he’s going to have to wait, for now.

Footsteps behind Griffin made him turn back to the direction of the Chop Shop. Axel-Ray was walking towards him and had raised a hand in greeting when Griffin faced him.

Axel-Ray was a couple years older than Griffin with a few scars on his face and his long, dread lock hair tied into a ponytail behind his head. He was dressed in thick, worn clothes, his jacket showed visible tears where bullets or branches have scratched it. Griffin knew him as another mechanic in Hope County, mentioned once or twice by various scavengers and scouts. The Highwaymen has tried to take him many times but luckily, he always managed to escape. His wife and kids both lived in the safety of Prosperity while he was constantly on the run. Now that the Chop Shop was theirs, Axel-Ray didn’t have to hide anymore.

“Hey, Cap, I was looking for you,” Axel-Ray said.

“Yeah, wanted to do some cloud watching. Enjoying the little things, you know?” 

“Can’t have too many of those these days,” Axel-Ray said, “come on, I need your help with something.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Griffin said, getting up to follow him. The Chop Shop has more people now then when Griffin first got there this morning. Sadly, Carmina or the Judge were not with them. Griffin figures Carmina wanted to stay with her dad a little longer and meet up with him at Roughneck Crag, but Griffin had hoped the Judge would of shown up by now. They were an intimidating person but Griffin has grown to appreciate their company, especially when they got in a fight.

Nonetheless, there was work to be done and Griffin had volunteered to help, so he entered the garage Axel-Ray has claimed as his own and took his jacket off, preparing to get his hands dirty for whatever task Axel-Ray had planned for them.

“I got a car here, been working on it for a while,” Axel nodded to the car parked next to them, “I wanted to finish it but the Highwaymen showed up before I was able to. I rigged the car to explode if they so much as opened the door, which, luckily, they didn’t, but now that leaves for me to disarm it.”

“So why do you need my help?” Griffin asked.

“Cause I only get a 10 second warning before the bomb goes off and only half that time to fix my mistake,” Axel-Ray said. He pointed to the inside of the car where a device with a glowing yellow light was placed over where the cars radio usually would be. “That light will change colors when the bomb is messed with. I need you to tell me if it changes to either green or red. Green means the bomb is deactivated and red means you should get the hell away from here, I’ll be right behind you. Got it?”

“Yeah, man. I’ll keep an eye on it,” Griffin said. He watched the yellow light intently as Axel-Ray laid down on the ground, crawling under the car to work. Griffin can hear him cutting away at something, but kept his eyes trained on the bomb. It was only until he heard a few mutters from Axel-Ray followed by the yellow light changing to green did he sigh in relief.

“It’s green,” he told Axel-Ray, and waited for the man to crawl out from under the car. He nodded when he saw the green light and pulled the door open, ripping the deactivated bomb from its place.

“Had Sharky and Hurk help me make this,” He said, “I didn’t think it would work. Thanks Cap.”

“No problem,” Griffin said, “anything else you need?”

“Not at the moment, but there is something I need to say,” Axel- Ray was silent, looking at the garage wall, before he sighed and continued. 

“I want to say… thank you, for finding out what happened to my sister.”

“Your sister?” Griffin asked, confused.

“Anna May, though everyone around here calls her the Deputy,” Axel-Ray gave, what sounded like to Griffin, a forced laugh.

This must be one of the brothers Kim had spoken about earlier.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Griffin said.

“It’s fine, I should of known better, it’s just… my brother, Crusty, didn’t take it well,” Axel-Ray shook his head, “he and his group are a lot less welcoming to this truce than the people in Prosperity are. He knows that we need their help but he’s not happy about it.”

“You three must of been close,” Griffin said.

“We were,” Axel-Ray said and gave another laugh, “She left home long before me and Crusty were old enough to. Mom and Dad kicked her out and we raised hell for them in her place. Good thing too, our parents were not the best people. We kept in touch with each other, until whatever went down here happened.”

“You weren’t in Hope County when the world ended?” Griffin asked.

“Nope, We were in the next county over,” Axel-Ray explained, “managed to stay in my basement with Crusty for a while then headed straight for here. It wasn’t the easiest journey, but we wanted to find our sister, she’s the only family we had left. We tried to come by a couple times before the bombs dropped but the roads were blocked by police. Hope County was on some lock down and no one knew what to do.”

“Then me and Crusty finally got here and found out exactly how big of a seriously badass hero Anna May really is,” Axel-Ray continued, a hint of pride in his voice, “the people here told us how she helped the Resistance against Eden’s Gate and how she disappeared,” Axel-Ray looked sad again, “we tried to find her for years, before we got seperated. We even asked a couple peggies we luckily ran into, but found nothing, only heard about some stuff with Joseph Seed and his son, that is, until you showed up. So I want to say it again, thank you.”

Axel-Ray had turned to a table in the garage and started to shift through some stuff on it as, behind him, Griffin felt guilt twist around in his gut. He couldn’t be sure that the Deputy, this Anna May, was really dead. He could tell Axel-Ray that himself right now if he wanted to, but common sense kicked in before he said anything. Deal with the Highwaymen first, then he will deal with Joseph. 

An all too familiar growl made both Griffin and Axel-Ray turned to the open garage door where the Judge stood, staring at the two of them. Axel-Ray gave them a curious look.

“You’re one of those people from New Eden, right?” Axel-Ray asked. The Judge said nothing, just continued watching him. Griffin answered for them.

“Yeah, they are. Their name is the Judge, they’re Joseph’s, uh, shadow,” Griffin said, “this is Axel-Ray, Judge, one of the mechanics whose been helping us.”

The Judge made no reply, but Axel-Ray held out a hand to shake theirs. After another pause the Judge held out their own hand to Axel-Ray, shaking it a moment longer than anyone would normally shake someone’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Axel-Ray mumbled. The Judge grunted quietly, letting go of Axel-Rays hand. Then, without so much of another word, they turned around and left, heading over to the makeshift bar on the other side of the Chop Shop.

“Is your friend always that weird?” Axel-Ray asked, watching them leave. The Judge stopped by a mostly empty wall and leaned against it, arms crossed, their back towards them.

“Usually weirder. I think they’re going through some stuff,” Griffin said, watching the Judge curiously. 

“Well, just keep an eye on them. I don’t mind the peggies helping us but the stories I heard…” Axel-Ray visibly shuddered.

“Can do,” Griffin said, “listen, if you don’t mind, I want to check up with everyone one last time, then I need to book it. I got a couple of friends down at Roughneck Crag I need to meet up, as well as with Carmina, and I would like to get there before it gets dark out.”

“No problem, dude,” Axel-Ray said, giving him a casual salute, “thanks for everything, we couldn’t of gotten this place back without you.”

That’s what everyone seems to keep saying about everything here, Griffin thought, leaving the garage. He’s pretty sure the people will realize soon that they could do just fine without him, once Rush was better, which shouldn’t be long now. 

Griffin walked over to the Judge.

“We’re leaving soon,” he said to them. They didn’t turn around.

“Hey, Judge?” Griffin reached out a hand and poked them on the shoulder, causing the taller person to jump. They looked over their shoulder back at him.

“I said we are leaving soon,” Griffin repeated. The Judge nodded, then bowed their head again. Griffin gave a small wave behind them, then turned and walked off, checking around one last time before their journey north.

————————

Roughneck Crag was a small hideaway Grace Armstrong had made for the scavengers when Griffin first arrived to Hope County.

“Use to have a place like this back in the old days called the 8-bit Pizza Bar,” she had told Griffin when she first suggested the place to him, “Me, Nick, Sharky, and other people would hang out at the bar there sometimes when we were allowed a quiet moment away from fighting the cult. I have good memories from then.”

Griffin was thankful for the small building anyway. It was placed next to an old tower, providing an excellent lookout spot when needed, and a shooting area for other scavengers to use for target practice. Grace had turned the inside into a bar and the upstairs had a good view of the trees around them. With its close location to Prosperity, it was a perfect place for Griffin to call home.

Nana and Pastor Jerome, along with a boar named Horatio and Timber the dog, were it’s only inhabitants when Griffin and the Judge arrived later that day. The sun had already started setting, the sky slowly turning gold as it dropped behind the trees.

“Thank goodness,” Griffin sighed. He was certain last time he was there he had left an old coffee maker, he couldn’t wait to sit down and have a cup of coffee, without the looming threat of another ambush. 

“Do you think Carmina will be there?” He asked the Judge. They did not respond. Griffin stopped and grabbed at their sleeve as they tried to walk past him.

“Hey! Earth to the Judge!” He waved his hand in front of their face, causing them to growl in annoyance, smacking his hand away from them. They attempted to walk forward but Griffin grabbed them again, this time not letting go.

“Are you alright?” He asked, only releasing their arm when they stopped trying to leave.

The Judge just gave a nod.

“Listen, I know you got your whole thing going on,” Griffin gestured at the Judge, “but if something is up just let me know, okay?”

Another nod.

Good. Great, cryptic as ever. The Judge started heading to the bar again, this time Griffin didn’t make an effort to stop them. Maybe they’re just feeling down today, Griffin has had his own share of those, but with the Judge it seemed like every day was a bad day.

Griffin sighed and followed after them, walking through the open wall at the bar. The Judge had left through a doorway on the other side and disappeared through it, moments later, Pastor Jerome came in through the same door way, Timber following beside him. The dogs tail started to wag happily when he saw the Captain and he trotted forward, jumping up on his hind legs as he rested his paws on Griffin’s chest. Griffin gave the dog a couple of pats on the head before he started to pet him.

“Captain,” Jerome greeted Griffin, giving the man a nod, “I noticed we have new company now.”

“Yeah, we got New Eden to fight with us,” Griffin said, waiting for Jerome to join in with his own grievances. Instead, Jerome nodded again, stepping forward to also give Timber a pat on the head.

“I’m surprised Joseph Seed has agreed to help. That man has always been unpredictable,” he said. Timber got off of Griffin and began to pace around the room. Nana walked inside as Griffin headed over to the bar, grabbing the coffee machines pot and filling it with water.

“Kim wasn’t too thrilled, but Prosperity needs the help,” Griffin said, “hi, Nana.”

“Hello there, kiddo,” Nana said, giving Griffin a wave, “who’s your quiet friend outside? They ignored me when I tried to say hi to them.”

“Sorry about that, the Judge doesn’t talk,” Griffin said apologetically. He placed the pot back into the machine and pressed a button, waiting for the water to heat up. “Hey, has Carmina Rye come by recently?”

“I haven’t seen her in a while,” Nana said, “It’s just been Pastor Jerome and I, and your pets.”

“Thanks for watching them,” Griffin said, “I was hoping she’ll be here, we need to start making our next plans,” Griffin looked over at Pastor Jerome, “me and Axel-Ray cleaned up the Chop Shop a bit.”

“Thank you for that,” Jerome said. He sat down at one of the tables.

“Hopefully Carmina will get here tomorrow,” Griffin said, “wouldn’t have any idea how to get anywhere around here without her.”

“You have me and Nana,” Jerome reminded him. Griffin pointed at Jerome as the coffee machine went off.

“That’s true. You two seem to be holding this place up well by yourselves,” Griffin said, grabbing a mug to pour himself a cup. Nana waved goodbye to Griffin and Jerome and stepped outside, a happy Timber following after her.

“It’s been easy, but I was hoping to get back out soon as well,” Pastor Jerome said, watching the two leave.

“Can do, you’ve already done so much for the scavengers already,” Griffin said. He took a drink from his beverage and sighed. “You know, I’m surprised you haven’t attacked me with questions about the peggies yet. It seems like I can’t get away from the questions ‘Why travel with the peggie?’ ‘Why trust Joseph Seed?’ ‘Why trust New Eden?’ I thought I was going to get an earful of it from you both as well.”

“Believe me, me and Nana were talking about it,” Pastor Jerome laughed, “but Kim called us, told us everything. I figured you got interrogated by her and Nick plenty of times before coming here. There’s no point in beating a dead bush.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Griffin said, raising his cup before taking another sip of coffee, “But I want to know, how do you really feel about all of this?”

“You know what Joseph Seed has done?”

“More or less,” Griffin said. Jerome nodded.

“Something has changed in that man, whether or not it’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Jerome said, “Sending our one of his own with you must be a sign of trust, I don’t think Joseph would of risked the lives of one of his own for a trap.”

“Do you really think so?” Griffin asked.

“I don’t know,” Jerome admitted.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Griffin said. He grabbed his cup and got off the counter, “now excuse me, I’m going to enjoy this blessed drink and have a big nap.”

“You know that stuff is full of caffeine, you’re going to be up for a while longer,” Jerome said. 

Griffin was already heading out the door. “You don’t really know me at all then, do you?” Griffin called back, and stepped outside, finding a spot to sit on a fallen log. The sun was mostly down, stars covered most of the sky as the last bit of orange gently disappeared over the horizon. Griffin sighed, this was his favorite time of day, when the twilight slowly faded into pure black. Everything felt peaceful, and in the summer heat, the air had a nice chill to it now that the sun was gone.

Griffin sat like that for a while until a large boar came trotting over. The pig sniffed him a couple times then laid down, sniffing more as he leaned up against Griffin’s leg. Griffin scratched Horatio on the back, who gave more delighted sniffs as he received the pats. Griffin smiled, happy and content, but the smile faded a little when he heard a noise up above. Griffin looked up at the lookout tower.

He saw a pair of legs disappear above the ladder, a pair of legs he thinks may belong to Nana, but he wasn’t sure in the dim light. Wonder what she’s up to, he thought.

Griffin placed the mostly empty cup on the log next to the now snoring Horatio and crept up to the old tower, climbing the rusty ladder slowly. About midway up he heard… crying?

Was Nana crying up here? He couldn’t imagine why, the woman was more likely to cut his throat open then shed tears. Nana may look like a sweet old lady, but Griffin has already seen her knock down enough Highwaymen to give him a run for his money.

But Griffin realized he was wrong a moment later. He got up to the edge of the top of the tower, enough to poke his head over, and stared, confused at the scene in front of him.

Nana stood nearby a figure that was sitting on the edge of the tower. It took Griffin a moment to recognize the figure as the Judge, and even a moment longer for him to realize who the sobs belonged to. 

The Judge was leaning forward, head bowed, their arms relaxed in their lap. If Griffin wasn’t able to hear them, he would of thought they were praying, but Griffin could see the Judge shiver with each sob. Nana took a step towards them.

“Hey, kiddo, are you alright there?” Nana asked, concerned. She stood next to the Judge then slowly sat down, placing a hand on their shoulder. Although it was dark and the two had their backs to Griffin, he swore he saw Nana throw a glance in his direction, but her attention was immediately back on the Judge, so he couldn’t be too sure.

The Judge did not reply to Nana’s question, their only response being another sob. Their hand lifted itself up to their face but was only met with their mask, so they dropped it back onto their lap. Nana started to rub their shoulder.

“Hey, it’s alright there,” she said, comforting them, “I know the world's not doing so good on a lot of carin’, especially of the mental kind, but if you ever need to talk, I’ll be here. Okay, kiddo?”

At first Griffin thought the Judge may still be ignoring her, but after a moment, Griffin heard them miraculously speak.

“Thank you…” they whispered. Nana gave them a smile.

“It’s no trouble,” Nana said, and she reached her arm around the Judges shoulder. The Judge leaned into it and the two of them sat like that, the Judge crying into Nana’s shoulder as she comforted them.

Griffin stayed and watched the two of them for a while, curious to what was happening. The Judge hadn’t cried at all since he started traveling with them, why start now? It seemed like Griffin easily gave them many chances to do so. Even so, watching the Judge sob unnerved Griffin. He never would imagine them doing something as emotional as crying, he was so use to seeing them angry, something must of cracked them, but he had no idea what. The Judge never made any objection of going to the crag, and the last thing Griffin and the Judge did before going there was see Axel-Ray...

The realization almost caused Griffin to gasp out loud and he stared, wide eyed at the Judge’s back. He could say anything right now, if he wanted to, but no, this was not the time for it.

He started to climb back down the ladder, slowly to not alert Nana or the Judge. On the ground he walked back over to Horatio and grabbed his cup, quickly drinking the rest of its contents. Griffin then turned back to the bar and walked on inside, pretending like he saw nothing at all.

———————

Anna May woke up to Joseph praying.

She slowly opened her eyes and squinted, the dim overhead light shined on her face and she turned her head to the right, where an all too familiar figure was sitting. 

Joseph had pulled up a chair to the bed she was laying in, his elbows were resting on the beds edge but he quickly moved them when he realized Anna May had woken up. Anna May tried to raise her right arm to cover her eyes from the light above, but felt something tugging on it. She looked up and saw an IV next to her, the tube connected to it was bandaged to her arm. 

Anna May looked over curiously at her left arm. It was heavily bandaged with almost enough gauze to make it look like she was wearing a cast. She lifted it up a little, then set it back down when she felt the gentle tugging of stitches underneath.

“Why did you do it,” Joseph asked, reminding Anna May that he was there. She looked up at him, but the light made it hard for her to see his face.

Everything was slowly coming back and she remembers why she was in the infirmary in the first place. After her and Joseph’s argument, Anna May wanted something, anything, to prove what Joseph said was wrong. She sat, in the dark, alone, hiding from him, trying to come up with some reason that made everything that has happened worth it. Anything that could make Anna May believe that she really was right.

But after weeks, she came to the sudden and heartbreaking truth, Joseph was right about her all along. Anna May had stayed in bed for almost a full day that day before Joseph came and asked her to join him for dinner. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him he was right, so she stayed silent and listened to his ever infinite sermons.

Pride was what he said ended the world. Pride is what hurt her friends. Joseph repeated this often through his sermons as well as talking of all other sins that he claims that God has gotten rid of. Greed. Gluttony. Wrath. Humans feed off of it and it is through them that we have created our own destruction. 

Anna May listened as he talked but no revelation ever came to her about what he was trying to get her to understand, although she tried very hard to, but more hours alone did nothing to help her thoughts. Then, during one sermon, Anna May realized what was wrong.

Her sin was not Pride as Joseph claimed it was. Anna May obsessed with this for days after she realized this, paying as close attention she discreetly could to Joseph’s sermons but only became increasingly annoyed when the subject of sin stayed strictly to Anna May’s non-existent Pride. Left to her own devices outside of Joseph’s preaching, Anna May got away and continued to think, latching onto that one idea desperately.

She finally thought she knew what needed to be done. John’s words had echoed in her head as she crept to the infirmary, finding what she needed on one of the shelves in the room.

_Sin must be exposed so it may be absolved._

Anna May had called Joseph over to where she was hiding, scalpel in hand, her arm cut up. Joseph must of thought she was trying to kill herself.

That was not the case, however, when he came into the room she showed him her arm where bright red words appeared on her skin, exposing her sin to the world.

The last thing she remembered was Joseph rushing to a nearby cabinet before she blacked out. Now, she was awake, wondering why Joseph was watching her like that.

“Why did you do it?” Joseph asked again. Anna May’s vision was adjusting to the room around her and Joseph’s face slowly came into focus. He was watching her, his hands clamped together tightly on his lap as he waited for her reply. 

“You wanted me to atone for my sins,” Anna May said, the answer coming out of her easy enough.

“Not like this,” Joseph said. He sounded angry, but more so, he sounded scared.

“You did the same thing,” Anna May said, and raised her bandaged arm to point to a word carved on Joseph’s shoulder. Sloth. Her sin.

Joseph looked down to where she was pointing and shook his head.

“It is not the same thing,” he said.

“Isn’t it?” Anna May asked, “It’s like what John said, once you have given your confession, you are to have the sin cut right out of you, or something like that? I just don’t see why we should waste ink over it.”

“Atonement comes only after a confession, Deputy,” Joseph said, “what have you confessed to?”

“I just want to make things right,” Anna May said quietly. She turned to look away from Joseph after she spoke, letting the two of them sit in silence.

“Why Sloth?” He finally asked. Anna May turned her head back around to look at him. He hadn’t move, but now he was staring at her bandaged arm, where, if they were removed, the word Sloth would appear so cleanly on her skin. Anna May thought for a moment before she took a shaky breath.

“I’ve been listening, you know,” she finally answered, “every day since we got down here, I sat and I listened to you talk. I know you don’t think I was, but I did, I just didn’t care about anything you said. You told me it was my pride that led us here, but my own faith wasn’t in myself. I wasn’t doing this because I wanted to fight God. I fought your family because I thought it was the right thing to do, because it was _expected_ of me. I didn’t care to see everything in another light, I didn’t care enough to consider that you may be _right_.”

“Everyone around me has gotten hurt and killed by our actions and I didn’t even bother seeing if I was part of the problem. I was suppose to be a police officer, protecting innocent people was my job, but I was never doing any of the protecting. All I did brought pain onto those around me.”

“If I had listened to you, since the beginning, did what I know should of been done, then this all wouldn’t of happened,” Anna May said. She felt a tear stream down her face and she looked up at the ceiling, finding it easier to continue talking if she wasn’t looking at Joseph.

“You were right about me, your family tried to get me to realize that, and all I did was kill them, because I decided not to do anything that actually made this mess better,” Anna May said, barely stifling a sob as she spoke, “and now look at us, we are down here, alone, afraid, and it’s all my fault. All you wanted to do was to prepare for the end of the world when all I did was escalate it. Everyone could of been saved.”

“I spent every waking moment since we first got down here wishing I was able to go back and fix this,” Anna May continued, “maybe I had made a mistake along the way, but you were the answer, and I decided that wasn’t a good enough one. I was being selfish. I didn’t care what consequences I would receive, I knew my friends could of died, and I did nothing when they burned. I should be out there with them.”

“God did not want you to die,” Joseph said. He had listened intently through Anna May’s confession, not interrupting her once through it.

“I should have,” Anna May said, “You could of pulled Whitehorse, Hudson, or Pratt from that wreck. You could of left all of us there and have just let Dutch live. Any of them deserve to be alive more than I do, but you picked me, after everything I did, you could of let me burn and die with all the sin from the old world, but you didn’t. Why?”

Joseph didn’t answer. Anna May felt more tears fall but she didn’t turn her gaze away this time, instead, she waited for a response from Joseph, but he remained quiet.

“Please, answer me,” she begged when he still didn’t move and raised the bandaged arm towards him. Joseph jumped slightly, then relaxed when she lowered it back down.

“I don’t know,” Joseph finally admitted, looking straight at her face. Anna May nodded then turned her head away again, this time closing her eyes as tears fell.

“You feel sure of this,” Joseph asked, “you believe that Sloth was what led the world to its death, what drove you to destroy the Project?”

“I do,” Anna May said. She meant every word.

Joseph stayed silent for a while, looking down at his hands, thinking, then he nodded and looked back up.

“If that is what you wish,” was all he said. Anna May gave a sigh of relief.

“So what happens now?” she asked. 

“We wait,” Joseph said, “and when God feels like we are ready, we will be told what to do next.”

“Yes Joseph,” Anna May said. 

Joseph raised a hand, hesitated, then placed it on Anna May’s forehead, just for a moment, before he moved it away. He stood up and pulled the chair away from the side of Anna May’s bed, then walked out of the room, leaving her alone again, but this time, she didn’t feel sad. Her confession had left a freeing, empty feeling in her chest where pain and guilt once consumed her. They were there still, as Anna May is certain they’ll always be, but they had receded, letting her breathe freely for the first time since she awoke in the bunker.


	8. One Will Die Before He Gets There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones  
>  'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone  
> We're setting fire to our insides for fun  
> Collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home  
> It was a flood that wrecked this  
> And you caused it_

“We need to get Prosperity and New Eden on the same foot with each other.”

It was the next morning and everyone, even the animals, were gathered in the bar at Roughneck Crag. Carmina Rye had arrived earlier that morning and was ready to continue on with the communities fight against the Twins. This, however, was not what she had in mind. She shared a look with Pastor Jerome before he spoke.

“That’s a big goal, Captain,” Pastor Jerome finally said, breaking the awkward silence. The Judge didn’t even look like they were paying attention, they were leaning against a wall, back facing Griffin and looking off through the large hole behind everyone else. He knew they could hear them though and, this time, talked loud enough so he knows they can’t ignore him.

“It’s one thing for us to take back homes and fight the Highwaymen, but if we’re going to be quick to turn on each other, than there’s no point in this alliance,” Griffin said, “New Eden is only willing to help because Joseph told the peggies too, but with things are now, nobody is going to want to cooperate with each other. If we can get some form of trust to grow, even for a little bit, then we still have a shot to make this work.”

“So what do you propose we do?” Pastor Jerome asked, looking between the Judge and Griffin, as if the two of them had already made a plan. Nana sat quietly next to Carmina, staring straight at Griffin. He was surprised she wasn’t expecting the Judge to speak too, after last night, but it seems that she has decided to let the Judge be.

Griffin start to tap his foot on the floor and looked down at a map he placed in front of the table.

“There must be some place that both New Eden and the Scavengers would want back,” Griffin began slowly, “some place that would benefit both of us.”

“The Island is a good choice, or the Pet Pen in the northeast,” Carmina said, standing and walking over to point to two places on the map.

“The Island is close to where we currently are,” Carmina continued, “and the Pet Pen has our people, prisoners that haven't been sent to the Bullet Farm. I’m sure New Eden has people who are there too?” Carmina looked over to the Judge, who had also walked over to the table. They nodded when they saw where she was pointing.

“More people for us means more people to fight the Twins,” Pastor Jerome said, “but with the Island in the way, New Eden will constantly have an enemy too close to home for comfort.”

“How will taking it make the scavengers less jumpy around them?” Griffin asked.

“Axel-Rays brother took over the old marina when he came here, but it’s one of the only places we’ve managed to keep away from the Twins,” Carmina explained, “with another place to dock our ships, we can take control of the river and cut off most transportation between Highwaymen outposts.”

“Divide and conquer,” Griffin nodded his head, “we should take the Island first then, the pen will be our next target. When New Eden sees that the scavengers are willing to fight for them, they’ll be more open to risking their lives for us as they are for themselves.”

The Judge nodded in agreement, making Griffin smile at them. 

“It’s a good plan,” Carmina said, “but not perfect, not yet. We still need to actually get on the Island, without getting shot.”

“I’m the only one who can go into the Bliss, am I?” Griffin asked. The group, with the exception of the Judge, shook their head. He sighed. “Oh well, I was hoping for the element of surprise.”

“It won’t work anyway, they’ll be watching it, waiting for something to come out, but Crusty may have a way for us to sneak in that doesn’t involve swimming,” Carmina said.

“Hopefully. I’ve seen what’s in these rivers, I don’t fancy stepping in those waters,” Griffin shivered.

“We won’t have to get our feet wet,” Carmina said, “but the Island is a fortress. Unless we have the people, then we’re going to have little luck holding it.”

“I can rally a couple of folks,” Pastor Jerome said, “we’ll need people to stay when we take it back, to make sure the Highwaymen don’t set up a camp there again.”

The Judge placed a hand on Griffin’s shoulder. He looked at them.

“Yes?” He asked. The Judge hissed.

“That doesn’t tell me anything,” he said. They squeezed his shoulder than tapped at a spot of the map. Griffin looked down to where they were pointing.

“That’s just where New Eden is,” Griffin said. The Judge nodded then tapped the compounds location a couple times.

“Are you saying to you want to get some of your friends to help us, kiddo?” Nana piped up. The Judge let go of Griffin and gave another hiss, nodding in her direction.

“Good kid,” Nana said, returning their nod.

“Look at you, making friends,” Griffin said quietly to the Judge. They made no reply.

“Then it’s settled,” Carmina said, beaming at everyone in the room, “Me and Cap will go to the Marina and find Crusty and take the Island, Pastor Jerome will rally people to help us keep the Island away from the Highwaymen, and the Judge will go gather some of their Chosen to help us take the Pet Pen. Are you sure this is going to be enough to calm everyone down?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s a start,” Griffin said. Truth be told, he thinks his plan isn’t going to be as easy as it sounds. Nobody doesn’t expect the quarrels between the New Edeners and the Scavengers to disappear overnight, but so long as it’ll encourage everyone to start working together, Griffin is willing to give it a shot.

The Judge didn’t say anything to Carmina’s rundown of the plan, they just turned and walked out the door. Griffin watched them go, uncertain on how to actually say goodbye.

“We better go then,” Carmina said. Griffin nodded to her and grabbed the map, rolling it back up.

“I’ll be seeing you later then,” Griffin said to Nana and Jerome.

“Good luck, Captain,” Pastor Jerome said.

Griffin walked out the bars side door with Carmina behind him. He stopped outside and watched the Judge walk into the forest, the trees soon covering them from view.

“They’ll be fine,” Carmina said.

“Yeah, they will,” Griffin said, but he was unsure. 

“They’re weird,” Carmina commented, “I don’t know if it’s just me but I swear they keep on staring at me all the time.”

“They are very quiet,” Griffin agreed.

“Yeah, but it’s not just that. When we’re at Prosperity, they’re always on the roof of the old hanger. I think I may of only saw them on the ground at Prosperity twice? How are they not baking under all that fur? Anyway, when I do look up there they’re always watching us down below, like they’re spying on us.”

“You’re not starting to believe that that peggies are out for our blood too, are you?” Griffin teased.

Carmina shoved him. “No! But there’s something about the Judge that’s strange and I want to know what it is.”

“You and me both, kid,” Griffin muttered, wondering if Carmina will ever have a chance to also figure out the Judge’s secret like he did.

————————

The Drubman Marina was once owned by a rich woman named Adelaide Drubman. She won the marina in a divorce case with her ex-husband and has since made changes to it with her new boyfriend. Of course, with the arrival of Eden’s Gate and the Collapse, the renovations were now permanently stopped. Griffin heard the woman had left Hope County many years ago, off on some post apocalyptic styled vacation at the beaches of Cuba , and since then, the old shipyard was simply called the Marina, a waterside outpost that both the Scavengers and the Highwaymen fought each other viciously for.

Large buildings were made on the old docks, using bits of what was left of the old marina on shore. An impressive yard showed multiple boats docked on the Marina’s pier and many men and women tended to them, from painting their hulls to upgrading the ships with new machinery. Griffin watched a couple of men weld a stand onto one boat, something Griffin could only assume was going to hold a very large gun. 

He had his doubts about this meeting. Axel-Ray had told Griffin about his brother and his disdain for New Eden. Even with his ridiculous name, Griffin couldn’t help but feel apprehensive, unsure of who exactly he is going to meet when he gets inside.

Carmina led Griffin up a couple flights of stairs until they opened the door into a very large pink painted room covered in maps that had notes tacked up all around them. A large table took up most of the rooms space, and most of the surface on that was being taken up by even more maps, folders, and canisters.

Standing by the table were Crusty and two other people. Griffin was easily able to pick out Crusty in the group. He looked a lot like his brother, with wild, long hair he also had tied in a ponytail and a more tired look on his face than Axel-Ray did. He was the smallest person in the room, the army coat he wore looked a couple sizes too big on him. With that and his glasses, Griffin was surprised with what Crusty looked like. He was expecting someone with a more muscular look, like an ex-military hardass, not someone who looked like they came straight from a library.

Carmina told Griffin about him, he was separated from Axel shortly after the Highwaymen’s arrival and kicked around from outpost to outpost after they captured him, using him for whatever entertainment the Highwaymen wanted. He ended up escaping and was found by one large group of Scavengers who took him in. Crusty must of wanted revenge because the group was soon organized and fighting viciously back against the Highwaymen, taking the Marina from them just after Griffin’s arrival. 

The other two people, however, Griffin did not recognize. One was an older, stocky, woman with short, graying, blond hair. Although she was obviously the oldest person in the room, Griffin already could tell she was not someone to mess with, as she watched him from across the table with narrowed eyes, studying him. She wore a large jacket, a bullet proof vest barely visible underneath the partially zipped up coat. Griffin was curious to where she got that armor from, he hasn’t seen any other Scavenger so well equipped for war.

Standing next to her was a younger man. He wore his long hair in two large braids that rested on his shoulders and, unlike the woman, looked more relaxed at the arrival of Carmina and Griffin. There was something good natured about the man and Griffin couldn’t help but like him despite not even speaking to him yet. He too wore a similar outfit to Crusty and the woman, a cameo jacket that was left open, a couple of dog tags hung from his neck along with a pair of headphones. 

Crusty raised a hand where he was holding a radio and shook it, waving Carmina and Griffin over to come closer to the table.

“A little birdy said you need help,” he said, putting the small radio back into his pocket, flashing them a smile, “shall we get started?”

“Nice to see you too,” Carmina said. Griffin walked up to the table and pulled out his map, placing it on a free place on the crowded table. Crusty and the two strangers looked over where the Pet Pen and the Island were circled on the map.

“I’m liking this so far,” Crusty said. He pointed at the map, ”We’ve been talking about taking that island for some time now. It’ll be easier for us to cut off a lot of the Highwayman’s routes through Hope County. Moving around will be harder if they have no access to the river.”

“We thought so too but we also want to get the Highwaymen off of New Eden’s back,” Griffin said. He felt his stomach sink a bit when Crusty frowned, but he stayed silent, so Griffin continued.

“With their help, we should have enough people to take the Pet Pen from them and free some of our people,” Griffin explained, “it’s not that far away from here.”

“No it’s not,” Crusty agreed, “we try our best to intercept any vehicles they have going north, but we can’t always get them all. It’ll be nice to have one less thing to watch over, and we can finally get rid of that cruddy zoo.”

“So you want to help us?” Griffin asked, excited.

“Why do we need peggies?” The woman asked before Crusty could answer. She had stayed silent through Griffin's explanation, but now her stare grew harder as she watched him intently.

“The Island is close to their home, having the peggies know the Scavengers are willing to fight for them will make it easier for the peggies to trust us,” Griffin explained.

“So you want us to take an outpost back so you can give it to New Eden then, is that what I’m hearing?” The woman said.

“Uh, who are you?” Griffin asked.

“Tammy Barnes,” Crusty answered for her, “her and Wheaty over here,” at this he pointed over to the other man in the room, “Are my closest friends in this little group I got together.”

“We got together,” Wheaty interrupted, “And Tammy is right. I’m not comfortable sleeping next to a peggie, never mind staying on an island with them.”

“We need New Eden’s help if we want to take down the Twins,” Griffin insisted, “They have the people, many who are willing to fight, and having both them and the Scavengers hold the Island could be what we need in order to start getting both sides to start trusting each other.”

“So they can kill us when we think we finally can be friends? Not today, not ever.”

“You can’t still believe New Eden is still Eden’s Gate, do you?” Griffin asked in disbelief.

Tammy laughed. “You don’t know anything about them. Anyone can say they’ve changed, just because they decided to ditch their guns and preach about living in their “paradise” in peace doesn’t mean they turned over a new leaf. No, Joseph Seed has a lot of things he needs to answer to and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him ruin what we built for ourselves!”

Griffin shook his head. “What other choice do we have?”

“Leave New Eden out of this and let them deal with their own problems themselves,” Tammy   
rested her hands on the table and leaned forward to look at Crusty. “I knew your sister. We worked together, fought together, almost died together, and I saw exactly what Joseph’s brother did to her. She spent weeks terrified of doing anything because of Jacob’s conditioning, it almost broke her,” she said, “do you really want to help a man who let his sibling change her like that?”

Crusty made no reply. He had a focused look on his face, his eyes moving at different points on Griffin’s map, but in no particular order that told Griffin he was thinking of a plan. He tapped his hand on the map, getting Crusty’s attention.

“After what happened at Prosperity, do you think we can still do this on our own?” Griffin asked, “Do you really think we can beat the Twins without New Eden?”

Crusty pressed his lips together then sighed, standing up straight.

“I want to talk to the Captain alone,” he said. Tammy looked angry.

“Shaun-“ she began, but Wheaty reached over and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

“Let’s just go,” he said. She glared at him, then Crusty, before she stomped out the door, Carmina following behind her as she casted one last, uncertain, glance at Griffin. Wheaty followed last, closing the door behind him, leaving Crusty and Griffin alone.

“Do you trust Joseph Seed?” Crusty asked Griffin. That surprised him.

“Trust Joseph?” He repeated.

“Yes. Do you believe whatever he promised you or do you think he’s a liar,” Crusty asked.

Griffin had to think for a moment. Did he trust Joseph Seed? The Father has been keeping things from him, he was well sure of that. First the Deputy and the Judge, then disappearing on him after Griffin showed up at New Eden again. There also was that crazy prophecy that he and the rest of New Eden seemed obsessed about, but Griffin doesn’t think mentioning that would make the Scavengers any more willing to help. He liked the old man, but he didn’t know if he trusted him.

“I heard horror stories of what the Seeds have done to Hope County years ago,” Griffin began, “I know the peggies were bad then, even if they believed they were good before. I heard about the Deputy and how she fought them and saved people. Joseph and his siblings got a lot of people killed and he just let it happen. He was a monster back then, he may be just as much now.”

Crusty nodded his head, a more hardened look on his face.

“But,” Griffin continued, “I wouldn’t of been able to have gotten into New Eden if it wasn’t for him. He helped me find a way to get them to trust me and asked his people to fight for me. He asked someone he calls his shadow to help me, and they’ve gotten me out of more than one sticky situation so far. Nothing Joseph has done so far has told me that he has any intention of wanting to cause more harm to Hope County. So yeah, he was a real asshole before, but I say it’s safe to trust him now, enough to know that whatever happens with this fight with the Highwaymen, his people will be there at our side too, so long as we can make this work.”

Crusty stayed silent. Griffin can see his eyes shifting from side to side as he thought and so Griffin waited patiently for him to speak. Finally, Crusty sighed, standing up straight.

“I have a plan in mind but it’s rather crazy,” Crusty said, “I’ll have to talk to Tammy and Wheaty first but, if we play our cards right, we should be able to get ourselves another outpost soon enough.”

“So you’ll help us?” Griffin asked again.

“Yeah, you got my help,” Crusty said, “My people will have to deal with the peggies, but if you trust them then… I can work with them, for now,” he looked off to the rest of the room.

“Tammy and Wheaty told me all about Eden’s Gate before the Collapse,” he said, “I learned about everything from before and after the cult started to show their true colors. When Wheaty found me hurt and starving out in the woods, after he found out who I was, he told me all about Anna May’s war on Eden’s Gate. I wanted to be just like her, so I started my own resistance, to fight for the scavengers here too.”

“She was best friends with one of those Seeds and they killed her in the end,” Crusty slammed a hand on the table, causing Griffin to take a step back, “Joseph Seed gets to have his happy ending while my sister rots in some forgotten grave out there. Me and Axel-Ray spent _years_ trying to find her. I almost gave up ever seeing her again many times and, because of Joseph Seed, I now know that I never will.”

“I-I’m sorry-,” Griffin stammered.

“I don’t blame you Captain,” Crusty said, “You couldn’t of known, hell, I didn’t even know about any of this shit until me and Axel-Ray moved here. Maybe most of the peggies are innocent, but it doesn’t make up for what they did before the Collapse. It doesn’t make the pain they put on my friends and family any less. Most of my people want revenge on Joseph for what he and his family did. _I_ want revenge for what he did to my sister, locking her up underground for who knows how long before he killed her.”

Griffin opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. Crusty walked over to one very large map of Hope County and stood in front of it. Many places on it were circled and crossed off, but there was one large X in the middle of the map, where Griffin knew New Eden was.

“I’ll work with the peggies, but only because you trust Joseph enough to. You won’t hear me complain,” Crusty turned away from the map to look at Griffin, “But at the end of all this, when the Highwaymen are finally gone and the Twins are dead, Joseph Seed will die. Even if I have to be the one who pulls the trigger, when this is all over, Joseph Seed will be dead, and I’m not letting you or any Peggie stop me from giving him exactly what he deserves.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you are surprised that I added Tammy and Wheaty into this, I did it cause I hated the fact that, as far as I know at least, we don’t find out what happened to them after New Dawn, Same with Jess. If there is some in cannon thing that says what happened that I missed then I’m choosing to ignore it at this point. I really liked all three of them and I can’t wait to write them more. 
> 
> I also am including a couple of places from FC5 that we don’t get to visit in New Dawn. I know I was extremely disappointed that we didn’t get to see the Veteran’s Center in New Dawn and finally get to explore it. So I made my own lore for missing places in Faith and Jacob’s regions, so Adalaide’s Marina And the old FANG Center definitely won’t be the only places that’ll show up in this fic, I just won’t promise that Griffin is going to be the one who gets to explore all of them : D
> 
> Griffin didn’t bring up the fact that he knows the Judge is the Deputy to them yet because he doesn’t know exactly how to ask about it or if he even wants to get involved. His job is to stop the Highwaymen but he does actually care about the Judge and is more or less curious to what their deal is. He really does want to fix things with Prosperity and New Eden but he’s unsure how to actually do it and is kind of relying on Rush and the Judge to give him the answers, but Rush really can’t do anything now so this is what he has :/
> 
> Crusty’s name is a nickname Anna May and Axel-Ray gave him when they were kids, his actual name is Shaun, but going by your childhood nickname is way better than introducing yourself to everyone as Shaun Shawn. Also, Anna May and her siblings full names are all meant to be punny.
> 
> Title for this chapter is from Youth by Daughter


	9. Well So It Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Yeah so struggle all you like  
>  Yeah put up the good fight  
> They say someday everybody dies alone. _

“The plan is simple, trust me, I got it all figured out,” Crusty said. Tammy, Wheaty, and Carmina were back with Griffin and Crusty in the meeting room again, now ready to go over Crusty’s plan.

After Griffin’s conversation with him, Crusty had stepped out of the room, letting Griffin think about what he had said. Griffin was unsettled with Crusty’s proclamation, how he wanted to start another war with New Eden to get revenge on what, the death of someone who isn’t even dead? Griffin had cursed under his breath, reprimanding himself for not saying something when he had the chance. Crusty didn’t give Griffin much time to himself, however, and he had to cut his thoughts short as everyone stepped back in the room.

Tammy was noticeably unhappy and Griffin really couldn’t blame her. The last thing he was expecting from these people was for them to forgive New Eden, but regardless of their own personal beef with the peggies, they need them, it’s as simple as that. Griffin just hopes he wouldn’t have to hear an earful of it from her later, he was still reeling after Crusty’s threats to kill Joseph.

Crusty headed over to one side of the room and opened a trunk, pulling out a uniform. He lifted it up, showing one of the all too familiar crazy designs the Highwaymen painted everywhere.

“These were lying around when we got the Marina back,” Crusty said, “we only got a couple, so not all of us can go, but you should be able to keep everyone fooled while on the Island.”

“So we’re just going to show up, dressed like them, and…?” Carmina asked.

“Sort of. You won’t be going alone,” Crusty said, “I don’t know how much Kim or Axel told you about me but I’m not exactly one of the Twins favorite people in Hope County, so why not give the Highwaymen something to distract themselves with, say, I don’t know, a devilishly handsome prisoner all ready to be handed off to the Twins-“

“We’re not trading you for the Island,” Griffin said immediately.

“Please, they’re dumb but not that dumb,” Crusty said, “It’ll only be a little bit. You guys give me to them, then, when they’re all distracted and acting like they’re hot shit, you shut off their communications to the other outposts. You know how to do that, right?”

Griffin nodded.

“Good,” Crusty continued, “Then once that’s done, you signal for Wheaty and the others to come forward. I got a couple of flare guns lying around, once they’re there, the Highwaymen won’t have the Island anymore, and you can get Pastor Jerome and your other friends to hold it.”

“I’ll be able to radio to you from our position,” Wheaty said, “if anything comes up, anything big, you call me and get Crusty out of there. Tammy will be here at the Marina with everyone else, in case we need backup. We don’t need to lose anyone in this.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Griffin agreed.

“It’s risky,” Tammy said, “if we lose you, it’s going to make things a lot harder, Shaun.”

“Aw, come on Tammy, you and Wheaty were doing fine on your own before I showed up,” Crusty said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Just don’t do anything to get yourself killed,” Tammy said.

“You know me, as safe as an egg in a nest,” Crusty stood up and stretched.

“You are also known for doing stupid things,” Tammy replied.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll have Carmina and the Captain with me. Hell, I’ll bring Donald and Grover too, if you want. You know they can be reliable.”

Tammy raised an eyebrow at him but made no other comment. Satisfied, Crusty gave Griffin a quick smile and leaned up to the side of the table.

“You two should get ready to go. I want to do this at night, where there will be little chance of us being seen. Wheaty will leave shortly after we do. Hopefully, if any boat stops us, which isn’t unlikely, then they’ll be too busy helping you with me and not notice him.”

“You got it, boss,” Griffin said. Crusty chuckled.

“Then what are we sitting around here for? You got a prisoner to deliver.”

———————

The tension on the boat was high as the group made their way through the Henbane River. Crusty sat on the floor in the front of the boat, a pair of old, loose, handcuffs on. One of his men, Grover, sat in the front seat. He was a very young, short man, shorter than Griffin, with red hair and lots of freckles, although now most of them were covered by a large scarf on his face.

The other man, Donald, stood nearby Crusty, keeping watch at the waters in front of him. Unlike Grover, Donald was native to Hope County, having lived here and survived both Eden’s Gate and the Collapse. He was covered in scars, old and new, and had his curly hair cut very short.

Donald use to be part of a group before called the Whitetail Militia, back before the Collapse. Griffin remembered Kim mentioning it to him once but Donald told Griffin more about the resistance group after they had first set off, Tammy and Wheaty were old members of it as well. Maybe that’s why they joined Crusty on his fight with the Highwaymen.

Griffin and Carmina, meanwhile, were sitting at the back of the boat. Both of them had helmets and goggles on. Griffin didn’t know how much of a good idea it was for them both to show up, nonchalant, to a Highwaymen outpost, but Crusty had made sure to take the precautions they needed in order not to be recognized.

Still, Griffin couldn’t help but feel apprehensive as he watched the distant island get closer. 

“Alright, stay calm and don’t panic. We’ll get through this,” Crusty called from the front. He didn’t move from his spot, which was good, as Highwaymen on other boats had started to sail up to them. Griffin raised his hand in greeting, as one of the other men on the other boat did, and they were allowed to move forward.

They reached the Island. The outpost was built on an old wreck of some kind of large mill, it must of been swept up onto the little island by the combination of both the Henbanes current and the blast from the bombs. Now, however, more structures have been built around it, tying it to the island. Bridges were built along the channel cutting through the land, and at that place, Highwaymen stood to watch the boats sail right into the outpost.

Donald had grabbed Crusty’s arm and forcibly lifted him to his feet. He was shoved forward and he began to walk, shooting glares at the Highwaymen that now surrounded him.

Griffin got off the boat and waited for Grover and Carmina to follow. A woman was approaching them, casually twirling a small knife in one of her hands, two men following closely behind her. She was wearing a black crop top and a vest, both painted white and pink. She wore her black hair in a mohawk and had heavy lidded eyes, which now looked up and down at Crusty. She pointed the knife at him.

“I heard of this one,” she said, “I heard this rabbits been causing a lot of trouble. Mickey and Lou want him bad, where the hell did you find him?”

Griffin made his way forward until he was next to Crusty.

“Caught him sneaking around on a boat with a couple of friends. They didn’t get too far,” Griffin said. Crusty spit at the woman’s feet, causing the woman to smirk. She raised a fist and, in a flash, Crusty was on the ground, groaning as he sat up. 

“Someone needs to be taught some manners,” she muttered. She turned to look at the other Highwaymen around her, raising her hands up at them, “Looks like we caught ourselves a rabbit!”

They cheered, raising their weapons to the sky. 

“Someone take this somewhere where he won’t cause trouble,” The woman said to a couple of men who arrived with her. One of them grabbed Crusty and Griffin was forced to watch as he was dragged away.

“As for you,” the woman said, pulling Griffin’s attention back to her, “me and my pals had a game going on. Bets are pretty high and we can make another spot for you and them,” she waved at Carmina, Donald, and Grover.

“Hell yeah, sounds good,” Griffin said. The woman grinned and led the way. Carmina quickened her pace to walk with Griffin.

“What do we do?” She asked, quietly.

“Play it safe, for now,” Griffin replied back, just as quietly.

“What are you whispering about back there?” The woman asked.

“Bobbi was just asking me about what we’re gonna do with the prisoner. I told her to mind her own business,” he replied, loudly.

“Ha Ha, Yeah, Sorry, short stack,” the woman said, rolling her eyes, “that’s for the Twins to decide, not us. You know he’s one of the people around here they have on their shit list, best not take away their fun.”

The woman practically shuddered at the thought. “Anyway, where the hell are you four from?”

“Uh-“ 

“Sacred Lumbar,” Grover said quickly.

“Huh. Why come all the way out here then?”

“We were asked to. You heard the Chop Shop got sacked?” Griffin said. They were inside the old mill ruins and were walking up some stairs.

“Yeah I did, it fucking sucks. I knew a girl who was stuck there, a really nice one with a sweet voice. Real shame, thought we could of had something good going on.“

“Georgie!” A man called out from above. They had reached what looked like a rec area. Garbage littered the room and a makeshift table was covered with beer bottles and cards. A couple men were sitting around, watching the arrival of Georgie and Griffin’s group.

“Hey you ass hats, are we game again?” Georgie asked.

“Hell yeah. Todd said he was gonna win the next game. Bet twice as much to say he wouldn’t.”

“Hey, what did I tell you two about making bets without me?” Georgie said.

“Sorry,” The man said, bowing his head apaologically.

“Uh, not to interrupt the fun, but is there a bathroom anywhere?” Griffin asked. Carmina gave him a look.

“Downstairs, outside, next to the water,” Georgie said, “just don’t go pissing on the house.”

“Will do,” Griffin said. Donald, Grover, and Carmina watched him walk out before turning back to the men and Georgie.

Griffin walked down the stairs, casually, before he started to look around. He stopped by a window and looked out, watching the yard below. There were 3 Highwaymen wandering about keeping guard, one looking out to the Bliss cloud in the north, 2 other ones watching the river ahead.

Griffin started to scan the area, looking for where the outposts radio could be. He jumped a couple of times when he heard cheers from above, letting him know that his companions were keeping the Highwaymen distracted.

He spotted the familiar yellow box in a corner of the parameter. One of the guards were close to it, but Griffin was almost certain that he could get the guard out of the way for him to tamper with the box.

Griffin made his way downstairs and casually walked by a couple of Highwaymen, the same ones who took Crusty away. Damn, he almost forgot about him. Griffin was tempted to go look for the man, but a tap on his shoulder made him turn, looking at Carmina.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asked her.

“Donald and Grover got them, though the one lady, Georgie, stopped playing and left,” Carmina said.

“Hopefully they can keep the others busy for a little longer,” Griffin said, “I found the radio but there’s a guard near it.”

“Where?” Carmina asked. Griffin led her to the mill’s door and pointed out it, showing her where the box was. She nodded her head.

“I can get the box, but I need that guard gone. Do you mind distracting him for me?” 

“Can do. Once you got it, give me a signal. I’ll call Wheaty and then book it to find Crusty, before someone else does.”

“Hopefully he’s still in one piece,” Carmina said, and she left. Griffin walked up to the bridge and took his time to walk past the guard, stopping nearby to look out at the water. The guard gave him a curious look through his own goggles, but said nothing as Griffin stared out over the water.

“Man, this island is tiny as hell,” Griffin said.

The guard nodded but didn’t say anything, just continued his watch.

“So, you come here often?” Griffin asked.

“I’m guarding this place.”

“Yeah, I get that. Where are you from, man?” 

“Phoenix,” the guard said, looking at Griffin. Carmina was slowly approaching the radio. Now having the guards attention, Griffin casually turned himself around.

“That’s pretty far.”

“I guess. How about you?”

“I’m from Manhattan,” Griffin said.

“Damn, like New York? I heard that city got hit hard when the world ended. How’d you make it all the way to this shit hole?” The guard asked, leaning against the fence. Carmina has reached the radio and was messing with it, throwing glances at Griffin as she worked.

“Oh, well it’s a long story, full of many adventures. Ever been to Galena, Illinois?”

“No?” The guard said, confused.

“Visit there, trust me, I’m a local legend,” Griffin said confidently.

Carmina was still working on the radio behind the Highwayman, who stared at Griffin a moment longer before he shook his head.

“Sounds like you’re full of shit. Bet that’s not even a real town,” he said, and began to turn around, almost seeing Carmina. Griffin felt his heart skip a beat.

“You didn’t even hear the full story!” Griffin said quickly, catching the man’s attention again. He paused and thought for a moment.

“Alright, I want to hear this,” The man said, leaning against the rail, back, once again, to Carmina.

Griffin sighed with relief. “Well, you see, I had stopped by the place to load up on food, I was heading out west and figured I wasn’t going to see another town, or another one that wasn’t a junkyard for a while, when-“

“Hey, short stack! What the hell are you doing?”

Griffin felt his heart skip a beat as the Highwayman turned around to face Carmina and the now arriving Georgie. Carmina must of finished tampering with the radio, but was still standing next to it when Georgie walked up the stairs towards Griffin and the other Highwayman. Georgie walked over to her and shoved Carmina aside, examining the radio.

“You did fuck with this! What the hell?” She yelled, her and the other Highwayman both leering at Carmina.

Griffin needed to act fast, so he did the one thing he knew he needed to do. He reached into his pocket as Carmina began to give a stuttered excuse and pulled out the flare gun, raising the weapon high in the sky. He pulled the trigger and Georgie and the other man looked up as the shot exploded overhead, giving Wheaty the signal.

“What the hell, that’s not one of ours,” Georgie said, confused. She didn’t get to say much more before Carmina had pulled out a handgun, shooting the Highwayman in his thigh. Georgie looked at her now falling comrade before she realized exactly what’s going on.

“Fuck, FUCK!” She yelled, and jumped off the bridge and into the shallow water below before Carmina was able to get her too.

Griffin, meanwhile, made quick work of the now screaming Highwayman, driving his knife into the man’s throat before he grabbed Carmina’s arm and ran, racing back to the mill as bullets started to fly.

“We have to find Crusty!” Griffin said once they were in the safety of the mill. He could hear footsteps running above him, amplifying through the old structure. He pulled off his goggles and helmet, Carmina following suit.

“Donald and Grover should be alright, and hopefully, Wheaty will be here soon,” he continued. His spoken thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a Highwayman, shield and bat in hand as he raced down the stairs at Griffin and Carmina.

Carmina shot once, then twice, at the man, but he raised his shield, protecting himself from the bullets. The two of them were forced to dodge out of the angry man’s way, careful to stay as far from the mills doorway as possible, but it was hard. The Highwaymen outside were closing in and with Griffin and Carmina stuck, they may not make it until Wheaty arrives.

“Find the others!” Griffin told Carmina, and lunged at the man, grabbing his shield in an attempt to yank it from him. The man tried shoving him off, but Griffin clung on. 

“I can’t just leave you!” Carmina said, watching, uncertain on what to do.

The Highwayman shoved Griffin off him and raised his bat, ready to swing it. A loud bang rang in the room and the man looked down at his chest where a large splotch of red was already starting to form. The man collapsed on the ground.

Carmina lowered her gun, sighing quickly, before lifting the weapon again. More steps came from the stairs and outside and Griffin raised his own gun just as Crusty arrived, Grover and Donald close behind him. Crusty raised his own gun before he lowered it, relaxing at the sight of Carmina and the Captain.

“Thank God you’re alright,” Crusty said. He had a split lip and a black eye but other than that, he looked fine. Grover and Donald looked unscathed, making Griffin give a sigh of relief.

Screams came from outside and Crusty ran to the wall next to the doorway, giving a peek out.

“Wheaty’s here,” he said. He looked back at the group behind him. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Griffin said. Crusty nodded and ran outside, Griffin right behind him.

Two new boats were pulled up into the water channel in the Island. One man stood on one, shooting at the Highwaymen still manning the walls, while a couple more Scavengers were hiding behind a couple of the barricades that littered the ground. Wheaty was with these people, occasionally standing up to shoot back at the Highwaymen before ducking down again. One man was not so lucky, as he looked over his barricade, a bullet hit him in the side of the face, tearing through his cheek and jaw. 

The man gave a gargled scream and the woman next to him pulled him down, immediately pulling off her coat to press the fabric on the side of the man’s face. Griffin stopped and raised his rifle, shooting at the Highwayman, whose corpse fell backwards over the rail and into the water behind him. 

“Captain!” Wheaty yelled, and Griffin looked over to him. He was pointing backwards at the boats, the man who was there before was slumped on the ground next to his boat, his screams quickly silenced by the Highwaymen there. Georgie was with them, soaking wet, at the boats wheel, two more Highwaymen jumped on board and joined her.

“Take this place, I don’t care, it’s a shitty island anyway!” Georgie yelled. Griffin raised his gun to shoot her, but gunfire from her men forced him to dodge out of the way. She sped off and soon they disappeared into the night. 

“Fuck!” Griffin cursed. He looked around. The fight was quick, luckily with few casualties on their side. The bleeding man was currently being tended by both the woman and another man, who had shown up with a med kit and was currently applying first aid. Griffin walked up to the barrier that surrounded the Island and looked out into the dark, straining to see if anymore Highwaymen on boats were approaching, but all was silent.

“I say we did a pretty damn good job,” a voice behind him said. Crusty walked up and placed his hand on Griffin’s shoulder.

“We lost Jack and Alfred isn’t looking good, but hopefully Connor and Ashley will patch him up. You did great, Captain,” Crusty said.

“A couple got away,” Griffin pointed out.

“We can’t always get everyone. They won’t come back, and if they do, we’ll be ready,” Crusty pointed behind Griffin, who turned around to see Pastor Jerome pull up with another boat with more people on board. He stepped off and looked around, spotted Crusty and Griffin, and walked over to them.

“We were just about to wait for you when we started hearing gunshots,” Pastor Jerome said, “we thought you could use the help but it looks like you got it taken care of here.”

“Barely,” Griffin said. He looked around at the damage and shook his head. Crusty clapped his hand on Griffin’s shoulder and pointed at him with his other hand.

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. This guy did great, and he’s a great charmer too. The lady in charge here practically begged us to come inside, and they took out the radio without being caught first,” Crusty said. Griffin rolled his eyes.

“We have a lot to clean up,” Griffin pointed out, “we should make sure there’s no one else hiding here.”

“There shouldn’t be- but you’re right,” Crusty said quickly after receiving a look from Pastor Jerome, “I’ll grab Donald and we’ll give the mill another look around. See you later, Captain.”

Crusty walked away and Jerome shook his head, smiling.

“You may have just impressed him, Captain,” Jerome said.

“I certainly didn’t do anything impressive,” Griffin said.

“Give yourself a little more credit, you humble yourself too much,” Pastor Jerome said.

“It’s the truth.”

“They don’t see it that way.”

“Yeah, well that’s because they’re-“ Griffin stopped himself then sighed, “Crusty had the plan, I just gave them motivation to carry it out. Anyway, they’re not going to be happy when the peggies show up tomorrow.”

“How will they know when to come?” Pastor Jerome leaned at the edge of the barrier, looking out into the dark waters where New Eden would be.

“The Judge went home, they’ll talk to Joseph,” Griffin said, “and they would of seen the flare, maybe have heard the fight. The peggies are odd but not stupid, they’ll be able to put two and two together.”

“You have more faith in them then anyone here.”

“I’m going to have to if we’re going to fight the Twins together,” Griffin said. He stretched and sighed again, looking out over at the Scavengers who were now busy cleaning up the Island.

“Let’s see if anyone needs our help,” Griffin said, and left, Pastor Jerome following behind him into the new outpost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter to write but writing fights isn’t my strongest suit really. All i can really do is just practice and make the next one better, hopefully XD
> 
> Title is from Roll the Bones by Shakey Graves.


	10. Lashing Out Regrettably

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I mean no harm, what have I become?  
>  I know I'm wrong, but when you tell me  
> Things get worse and I wanna change  
> I don't wanna be all alone and defeated  
> Who can I be besides me? 'Cause I hate it_

The peggies arrived late the next evening. Griffin was watching their boat approach, coming straight from New Eden’s man made water path and appearing around their island. Tension in the outpost was high, Scavengers hung out around the Island’s channel or from the windows of the old mill, watching the distant boat. Pastor Jerome and Carmina both stood with Griffin, waiting to greet the peggies with the Captain.

“So long as we stay calm and put on a face, everyone else should follow suit,” Jerome muttered to them, “we can’t go provoking them now.”

“It’ll work out,” Griffin said, uncertain. He walked off down some stairs and to the small channel cutting through the Island. Within minutes, the boat was there.

Griffin was surprised to not only see the Judge and four other peggies, but Ethan as well. He stood at the front of the boat, looking out at Griffin like an old sea captain on his ship. The Judge stood closely behind him, not even looking around at the Scavengers that were appearing from the outpost.

The boat got to the edge of the water and Ethan stepped onto the shore, walking up to Griffin as the Judge and the peggies followed him.

“Outsider,” Ethan said, in greeting.

“Hey, I’m glad you came,” Griffin said, raising a hand to shake Ethan’s. He grabbed it and shook Griffin’s hand, only briefly, before letting go.

“There are more people here than I expected,” Ethan commented, looking up at the Scavengers around him. Crusty and Wheaty were already heading over to Griffin.

“Yeah, we needed the people to take this place, and to plan our next move,” Griffin said as they approached, “you already met Carmina, but this right here is Pastor Jerome, and these two are Crusty and Wheaty, they helped us get the Island back. Guys, this is Ethan Seed, Joseph’s son.”

Wheaty nodded his head at Ethan as Crusty muttered something. Pastor Jerome, however, reached out his hand to also shake Ethan’s.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. How is your father?”

“He is well,” Ethan said, not looking so pleased at the idea. 

“I’m happy to hear about it,” Jerome said. If he was lying then he was doing a good job at hiding it.

“Yes, well, unfortunately he couldn’t come to see the Captain’s victory in person.”

“Why not? Is he scared?” Wheaty muttered under his breath. Ethan smiled.

“He has things he sees that are more important to do is all. I came here in his place,” Ethan answered.

“It’s good that you did,” Griffin said. He was actually finding himself glad that Ethan showed up. Personally, Griffin wanted to talk to Ethan about the Judge, but more so it was because he knows the Scavengers were barely willing to put up with the peggies, he can’t imagine their reaction if Joseph Seed himself showed up. No, it was best that the old man stayed in New Eden for now.

“Once we get this outpost secured we will start making plans for our next move,” Griffin said.

“Yes, I’ve been told a little bit about what you wish to do next. I’m interested with how exactly you plan on attacking the pen.”

“We don’t have one currently, but we’ll just have to figure that out together, won’t we?” Griffin said.

“I’m sure we will,” Ethan replied. He walked past Griffin, the other peggies following behind him. The Judge stayed behind, moving to stand next to Griffin. He put a hand on their shoulder.

“I’m glad you came back,” he said quietly to them. They made no reply, but Crusty raised an eyebrow at Griffin.

“Is this a friend of yours, Cap?” He asked. The Judge looked back at him.

“Yeah, they are,” Griffin said. 

“Well… okay. Just keep an eye on them,” Crusty turned and walked off, speaking quietly to Wheaty who had followed him.

“I’ll go check up on the wounded,” Jerome said, “I’m sure you three have catching up to do.”

“Thank you,” Griffin said, and Pastor Jerome left. Griffin waved a hand out at the outpost.

“Most of the place has already been fixed up, the inside of the mill was trashed when we took it, but we should have it cleaned by tomorrow. Feel free to look around if you want, I know you like your space.”

The Judge nodded at him. They started to leave but turned around when he called them back.

“Let’s talk more later, okay?” Griffin asked. The Judge made no reply to his comment. They turned back around began to head to the mill where Ethan and the peggies has disappeared.

“That went better than expected,” Carmina said, “what do you want to talk to the Judge about?”

“Just things about the peggies,” Griffin said, “There’s something therapeutic about talking to someone acts like a brick wall.”

“That’s true, but why them and not Ethan?”

“I’d trust the Judge more to help me keep an eye on both the peggies and the Scavengers than Ethan. I certainly wouldn’t want to be here if things go sour.”

“They all listen to you. We can make this work.”

“Hopefully,” Griffin replied. He was feeling a little better, now that the introductions are out of the way. No one has started a fight yet and both Ethan and Crusty are behaving themselves better than Griffin thought they would. If they can stay at it for a while longer then that’ll put a lot less stress on him. He will just have to wait and see.

———————

Night had fallen. Some of the peggies and Scavengers wandered the Island walls, keeping a lookout for any Highwaymen who may come to reclaim the outpost. Griffin was currently wandering around the outside of the old mill, checking the outposts blind spots for anyone coming to sneak behind them.

He found the Judge on the other side of the mill, leaning against a wall, and looking out at the Bliss cloud in the distance. He jumped, wondering if he should turn around, then shook his head and began to approach them.

“Hey,” he said. The Judge looked over at him and nodded before looking back out at the water.

“How was the trip back home?” He asked, leaning against the wall right beside them. He placed his hands in his pockets and relaxed, letting his head rest against the mills metal wall.

“It was well,” the Judge said, speaking quietly. They looked up to the top of the mill as they said it.

“No one can hear us from down here,” Griffin pointed out. The Judge said nothing.

“You know, I’m surprised Ethan showed up, to be honest,” Griffin admitted, “I didn’t think getting his hands dirty was his thing.”

“Joseph insisted on it,” the Judge said, “When I told them of your plan.”

“Why Ethan though and not Joseph?” 

The Judge shrugged. “Would Joseph’s presence have made this any easier.”

“No, not really,” Griffin said, “I mean, one of your brothers has already said he wants to kill him. I’m sure you bringing Joseph would of made it a hell of a lot easier for him and much harder for all of us.”

“What did you say?” Griffin could tell the Judge had turned to face him but this time Griffin was the one watching the Bliss, not giving the Judge any glances. He braced himself for an outburst.

“Yeah, Crusty, the one with the weird name? He wants to kill Joseph when this is all over. Unfortunately, Axel-Ray isn’t here to talk sense into him, and he certainly won’t listen to me, so maybe you should try to talk him out of it,” Griffin finally looked at the Judge, giving them a small smile, “I know.”

The Judge made no move nor did they say anything, so Griffin went back on his watch, keeping his eyes on the Bliss as he spoke.

“I probably should of caught on sooner, you don’t do a good job at hiding it, maybe that’s why you’re so quiet all the time. And when Kim told me you’re Carmina’s godmother, I should of put two and two together back then, after all, you’re very protective of her for someone who says they never were from Prosperity. But it took me until the other night, at the crag, to finally figure it out. That day might of been the first time you saw any of your siblings in more than 17 years, you probably didn’t even _know_ they were still alive.”

The Judge still made no comment so Griffin continued to talk.

“People at Prosperity really miss you, you know? Axel-Ray and Crusty consider you to be some kind of hero and even Kim admires you. I was tempted, a couple times, especially after after your siblings threats, to tell someone. It’s not fair that they don’t know. They think Joseph murdered you.”

“Who have you told?” The Judge asked, very quietly.

“No one yet, Deputy,” Griffin said. The Judge nodded and, to Griffin, seem to relax until suddenly, they lunged forward. Griffin found himself pushed against the wall and a knife pressed against his throat.

“You are to tell no one anything you know, do you understand me?” The Judge hissed, pressing the blade on Griffin’s neck. Griffin stomped his foot hard on theirs, causing them to lose their grip. He used that moment to wrench himself free, trying desperately to pull the knife from their grasp. 

They struggled like that for a bit until, suddenly, the Judge grabbed at Griffin with much more force than before. He was lifted and slammed into the mill, his teeth crashing together as his head hit the metal wall. Griffin saw stars as he felt himself being raised in the air by his shirt until he was eye level with the Judge.

“ _I said, do you understand me?_ ” They growled, their quiet voice filled with rage. In the dark, the holes in the Judge’s mask were pure black, making it impossible for Griffin to see their eyes through it.

“You’re scared,” Griffin croaked, feeling dazed.

The Judge dropped him. He fell at a heap at their feet and sat up, the Judge still towering over him.

“Shepard or not, if you tell anyone anything about me, I will kill you,” the Judge said, and slammed their fist into the wall next to them, leaving a small dent. Griffin stared at it, amazed, as the Judge turned and left, disappearing behind a corner of the mill.

Griffin slowly raised himself to his feet and found himself trembling badly. He reached an arm out to the wall next to him, as support, and looked up, surprised to see Ethan where the Judge disappeared to, watching him.

“How long were you there?” Griffin asked, trying not to let Ethan see how shaken he was.

“Not long,” he said, but Griffin had an irked feeling that Ethan knew exactly what their fight was about. He walked over to the Captain and smirked.

“What was that, what they did?” Griffin asked, “They just… picked me up, like I was nothing and- and-“

“The gift,” Ethan said.

“You mean that apple that Joseph gave me?”

“Yes, that exact one,” Ethan said, “you have the same power they have too.”

“Wh-What? I can do that?” Griffin looked down at his hands.

“If you so desire to use it,” Ethan said, “I see you finally figured it out. I told you that I had a reason for being skeptical of the people the old man chooses to have us follow.”

“Why did you tell me?” Griffin asked.

“I thought your friends would of liked to know,” Ethan said innocently, “you are going to tell them, are you?”

“And have the Judge gut me? Not yet.”

“Why the hesitation?”

“Because I want to know what the hell Joseph did to them,” Griffin replied, angrily. 

“Why not ask them yourself, I’m sure they will gladly answer that for you,” Ethan said.

“Maybe I will,” Griffin said, and walked past Ethan, leaving the younger man to stand, satisfied, alone.

———————

More papers covered the walls of Dutch’s room than when Anna May was locked in there, a long time ago. She sat on the floor, leaning against the trunk on the end of the bed that had replaced her, as she stared straight ahead, lost in her thoughts. 

Gripped in one hand was a chain holding various items, 3 small keys, a pair of dog tags, a button with a cougar on it, a dog whistle, and a rabbit's foot. Beside her laid the old Deputy coat she had first received when she was admitted into the Hope County Police Department. Anna May was waiting for Joseph to come into the room, reflecting on the past what has been almost 2 years since the Collapse.

She has gotten used to the agonizing trek time seemed to move in while underground, finding ways to keep herself entertained as she waited for Joseph to decide their departure. It hasn’t been easy, but she has found some things to do. She found an old guitar lying around in the bunker and spent hours on end trying to remember a couple of the old tunes she heard playing on the cults radio. Joseph helped her when she couldn’t remember a few of the notes to one song and soon she was able to play them all. 

But Anna May didn’t keep the guitar around for long, as Joseph discovered her in Dutch’s office one day smashing old records she had found lying around in there, the guitar now lying broken and throw off to the side. The old man was dead and was not going to miss any of his things, and Anna May had decided that she has had enough of music anyway.

Besides doing things for her own personal comfort, taking inventory and rationing out the supplies she and Joseph still had was her biggest priority. Anna May was not sure how long Joseph wanted to stay underground, the plaques from the Path said they planned to originally stay in their bunkers for 7 years. Anna May wasn’t sure if Dutch’s supplies would last them that long, even if it was just the two of them. She managed, however, and is hopeful that they will last long after Joseph has made his decision.

And, of course, Joseph’s sermons, however, this time Anna May could not pretend anymore that she was not listening, as if she was making an effort to pretend otherwise. The sermons have changed, less about Anna May’s sins and now about Joseph’s plans for Eden’s rebirth, how they will give up the materialistic ways of the past in order to fully accept the new Eden God has given them. Anna May listened intently, hanging onto every word, but her fears will still there, and she knew, at some point, she was going to have to tell Joseph about them.

Then, of course, were the nights. Sleep was always hard enough for Anna May to get, but now it was even harder for her to stay asleep. She wakes up every morning, almost more tired than when she went to bed, and she knew why. Anna May saw them in her sleep at night, Joseph’s family and her friends, waiting for her so they can speak. She wanted to remember what they said, but never did, and wished desperately each time she woke up that should could just go back and tell them how so sorry she is. Even so, the dreams had no effect on what went on in the waking world, and Anna May forced herself to forget about them until she woke from the newest one the next morning.

She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them, glancing down at a necklace she currently held in her hand and sighed. Everything has to be fine now, right? They don’t have to fear for the end anymore, there are no more wars to fight, just Anna May’s mistakes, waiting for her in the unknown. She brought her knees closer to her and rested her forehead on them, focusing now on stopping her trembling.

“We are leaving tomorrow.”

Anna May quickly looked up at Joseph, who stood at the entrance to Dutch’s room, watching her. He walked in and pulled up the chair, sitting down across from her.

“We are?” Anna May asked.

“Yes. It is time to see Eden’s Garden,” Joseph said. Anna May made no reply to that, just looked down at the floor. 

“You are ready to leave, my child?” Joseph asked. 

“I’m not sure,” she said. She looked back down at the necklace in her hand and pulled it up. Joseph looked down at it, his eyes widening when she held the chain out to him. He took it from her and held it like he was holding something fragile, inspecting each item on the necklace one by one.

“I buried them, you know,” Anna May said. She didn’t need to elaborate on who they were. “Whatever you think of me, even after what they did, I didn’t let the Resistance get their bodies afterwards. I gave them as proper of a funeral as I could give them.”

“I also didn’t mean to take that,” Anna May gestured at the necklace Joseph now held, “I took it with Jacob’s key, I kept the other ones on it too. I was going to leave them with him but I held onto them.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why now?” Joseph asked. His grip on the necklace grew tighter.

“Because you need to know,” Anna May gave a hard sniff and looked down at the Deputy jacket. Joseph watched her grab it and raise it, studying the coat as she spoke.

“I started to see them when I sleep,” she said, “not just your siblings, but everyone who died in the car crash as well. Almost every night they talk to me. But I can’t remember- I don’t-“

Anna May shook her head, not wanting to cry this time. It took her a few moments before she was able to regain her composure, the whole time, Joseph waited for her to continue speaking, avoiding looking at her as he stared down at the necklace he now held in his lap.

“I’m too scared to leave but I’m too scared to stay,” she continued, “I don’t want to be alone, but up there, in Eden, I don’t belong up there. I poisoned your paradise once, I don’t want to do it again.”

Anna May held the jacket out to Joseph, who took it.

“I don’t want this anymore,” she said, “take it with you, burn it, abandon it, I don’t care, just get it out of here. My past is dead and I want to be forgotten with it. Leave me here to die with the memories of the old world.”

Joseph was silent. He stared down at the jacket that was now in his hand, the necklace clutched in his other. Anna May buried her face back in her knees, waiting for Joseph to go, but she was surprised to feel a hand gently touch the top of her head. She looked up as Joseph pulled the hand back, holding out his other hand, Jacobs old necklace in it. Anna May reached out tentatively and took it, staring at the necklace, then up at Joseph, in both shock and wonder.

“God has chosen you to help me rebuild,” Joseph said.

“But-“

“You are my family now, when tomorrow comes, we will leave together,” Joseph interrupted. Anna May was stunned.

Joseph nodded down at the necklace in her hand.

“I want you to keep that, when you feel yourself losing faith, keep it as a reminder,” he said, “do not let your sin control you.”

“Y-Yes Joseph,” Anna May held the chain closer to herself with both hands, looking down at it.

“And I will keep this,” Joseph lifted the jacket slightly, before letting it lay limply on his lap, his hand still gripped on it.

“Why?” Anna May asked. She didn’t even know what she was asking about, there was a bunch of things that why could of fit with. Why was he being so kind to her right now? Why doesn’t he just leave her here? Why keep her alive? Why has he forgiven her so easily?

Joseph stood up slowly and moved the chair back to its place by the wall, folding the jacket over one of his arms.

“You already know why,” Joseph said. Anna May had looked back down at her knees but as Joseph was walking to the door she looked back up again.

“Father?” 

Joseph froze and turned around, gazing down at her.

“Thank you,” Anna May said. Joseph didn’t move for another moment before he gave a small nod then, without another word, he turned and left the room.

Anna May went back to staring at her knees but now she was lost again. She thought Joseph would of agreed to leave her down there, but his stubborn forgiveness has once again surprised her. She couldn’t understand why he has forgiven her, she tried so hard to, she wanted to, but she can’t even begin to forgive herself, if she can’t see why Joseph has done it, then what hope did she have.

It’s the same cycle of self pity over and over again, she thought and leaned her head back against the wall behind her, giving a huff as she did so. She sat like that for a moment, the same questions swirling inside her head, before she looked back around Dutch’s room.

Alpha and Omega. Anna May smiled a little, remembering a conversation so long ago, when she asked John about his tattoos. He had many of them, most of them represented something important to John, but Anna May remembers a particular one he told her about. On the back of his left arm he had printed the symbols for both, in a circular design that almost matched the cults cross. He told her about whatever it was suppose to represent, but it had no real significance at the time to Anna May. 

Now she could see the room in a new light, remembering that old tattoo and whatever revelation John quoted to her at the time. This was where the first plans for the Resistance started and where she and Joseph watched it, and Eden’s Gate, go up in flames. It was the beginning and then it was an end, and soon there will be a new beginning, her and Joseph rising from the ashes like a phoenix, ready to start a new cycle.

She wishes she could start anew, to emerge from this miserable place as someone who had never made as many heinous mistakes as she did. She wished so desperately to go back, to have another chance to start over and do good, but that was only an impossible dream. But…

Anna May leaned forward, back off the wall. It’s too late for her to change the past but she could help build a better future. Maybe, just maybe, she _can_ be someone new.

Anna May moved her hand around the floor until she found a scrap of paper, left from when Joseph was first creating his new Word. She found another discarded pencil and, using the trunk next to her, began to write, the words flowing so easily from her, disjointed but Joseph will understand when he finds her note.

He was right, she couldn’t stay down here. God had chosen her to follow Joseph into the new world and now she must do what is expected of her. Tomorrow, she will follow him as they finally leave Dutch’s bunker, never to return to the dark and damp place they had briefly made their home. No more Sloth, no more fear, Anna May has a new purpose now, and hopefully, whatever path she is being led to will finally lead her towards the path she thought she was on the whole time. She will do good now.

Anna May was ready to be reborn, as the world was when the Collapse finally came. She was terrified, but more so, she was hungry, eager to help cleanse the world of sin like God wanted at the side of his prophet. 

Thank you, Joseph. Thank you, Father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last flashback that’ll take place in Dutch’s bunker. I do have a couple more planned but there’s not as many as there were that took place in the bunker, we’ll see when we visit those memories again.
> 
> Title is from Defeated by Bad Suns


	11. Forget the Horror Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Black rocks and shoreline sand_  
>  Still dead summer I cannot bear  
> And I wipe the sand from my arms  
> The Spanish Sahara  
> The place that you'd wanna  
> Leave the horror here

“Got any 5s?”

“Go fish.”

Staci Pratt sighed and drew a card from the pile in front of him. Faith Seed smirked at him, looking over her hand of two cards to Pratt’s growing one.

It was a cloudy day outside as far as any of them were able to tell from the inside of the prison block. The lights were on, lighting the room up just a little bit. Faith and Pratt had set up a game of Go Fish with an old deck of cards, occupying much of the blocks table space. On the other end, Anna May sat, her elbows on the table, head in hands, silent as she thought.

“Got any 6s?” Faith asked. Pratt grumbled before he pulled a card out from his hand and handed it to Faith, who placed it on the table with her own card.

“Hey, Rook, want to play after this round?” Pratt asked, leaning back to look at the sulking woman.

“I’m going to have to kill Griffin,” Anna May said, not looking up from where she was staring.

“So I’m taking that as a ‘no’ then,” Pratt said, moving back to face Faith again, “Got any 2s?” 

“Go fish,” Faith said. She looked over at Anna May, a small smile forming on her lips. “It’s because he discovered your secret, isn’t it?” She said in a sing-song voice. Anna May made no reply to her, so Faith went back to her game. 

“Got any 7s?”

“Damn it!” Pratt exclaimed, throwing his hand on the pile. Faith placed her own cards down and began to flip them, mixing the cards back together.

“I’m serious,” Anna May said solemnly.

“I’m sure you are,” Pratt said. Faith began to pull cards from the pile, handing some to Pratt and keeping some for herself. Pratt watched her do this intently.

“I knew something like this would happen,” Anna May continued.

“Of course you did,” Faith said, picking her new hand up, “Got any 1s?”

“Go fish,” Pratt said.

“Do you even care?” Anna May asked. She stood up and walked over to Pratt and Faith’s end of the table, standing between them, looking back and forth from one to the other, eyes narrowed.

“Of course we do but what do you want us to do about it, Rook?” Pratt said, leaning to the side to look at Faith, giving her a knowing look, “We can’t exactly tell the Captain to shut up ourselves.”

“She wants us to talk her out of doing something rash,” Faith piped up.

“I don’t do rash things,” Anna May said, feeling offended.

“Yeah, you do,” Pratt said, “Got any 8s?”

“Go fish,” Faith said, “And Staci’s right, you tend to act before thinking things through. You must of got that from John.”

“I didn’t get anything from John,” Anna May said, growing ever more angry.

“Then don’t kill the Captain,” Faith said, helpfully, “Got any 3s?”

“Here,” Pratt pulled out a card and handed it to her. He wrinkled his nose and looked down at the pile of cards in front of him. “Are you sure you weren’t looking when you shuffled these?”

“I’m already called a liar and a manipulator, do you really think I want to be called a cheater as well?” Faith asked, “and you played the hands last time, not me.”

“I suck at this game,” Pratt grumbled.

Anna May had left the table and wandered off to a nearby wall, leaning against it, almost in a corner of the prison block. She gave another sigh as her thoughts grew darker.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind, Rook.”

Anna May looked over her shoulder at Sheriff Whitehorse who had appeared suddenly, as he always does when she needs him. Anna May got off the wall and turned to face him.

“I thought if maybe I just waited all of this out then things could go back to normal, but that Captain is ruining everything!” Anna May said. At the table, Pratt laughed, throwing down a card. Anna May watched him and Faith play, wishing she could be as unworried as they are.

“I know Joseph has a lot of faith in him, but both of them are so concerned for making whatever relationship they’re trying to build work that none of them see that me being around the Scavengers is causing a problem.”

“How so?” Whitehorse asked. Anna May shrugged.

“They think I’m dead and I want it to stay that way.”

“Even if it hurts them?”

“Do you think that telling them the truth would hurt any less?” Anna May asked, “They’re going to want to know why I’ve been gone for so long. What are they going to think when they find out the truth?”

“You seem to think you know your friends judgement before you do,” Whitehorse said, “no one besides the Captain knows now, has he said that he told anyone?”

“He _almost_ told Crusty,” Anna May said. She crossed her arms, glaring down at the ground.

“It might of done everyone some good if he did, your brother may be more impulsive than you are,” Whitehorse said.

“I am not impulsive!” Anna May said, annoyed. Whitehorse gave a huff of laughter.

“I seem to be the only one around here who thinks this is a problem.”

“You _are_ the only one who thinks the Captain knowing who you are is a problem,” Pratt called from his game. Whitehorse shot him a look that caused Pratt to bow his head, before he turned back to Faith beating him, once again, in Go Fish.

“What would you like then?” Whitehorse asked, “What do you want to have happen now?”

“I just want to go home,” Anna May said, “but Joseph doesn’t want me back yet.”

“Did you ask him?”

Anna May didn’t say anything, only shook her head, looking away from Whitehorse and to the other side of the block.

“No I didn’t, but I don’t have to. If I do, he’s going to turn it around on me. Say it’s my sin that gives me my fears, that I’m just overreacting,“ she shook her head again, sadly looking back at the ground. Whitehorse’s face softened and he gave Anna May’s shoulder a couple of pats.

“It will work out in the end,” he said.

“How do you know?” Anna May asked.

“You just have to hope it does. I know you don’t want to hear that-“ Anna May had given him a glare. Pratt and Faith dropped their cards in a pile and were now watching Whitehorse and Anna May’s conversation.

“-but it is the truth. Things are scary now but you’re just going to have to hope it rights itself out the way it’s suppose to.”

“And how will I know if it has,” she asked.

“You’ll know it when it happens,” Whitehorse said, giving Anna May another reassuring smile, “All you need to do is have a little faith.”

“And what if it doesn’t?” Anna May asked. There came a yell from outside and Pratt and Faith both stood up, leaving the cards at the table as they both headed out the block door, chatting quietly among themselves.

“Nothing bad has happened so far. The Captain trusts you, enough to have kept your secret for as long as he has, despite what he’s heard about you and Joseph, you just need to return it.”

Whitehorse had started walking to the block door but Anna May still wasn’t convinced. None of them understand how hard this is for her. It was already bad enough that Joseph had told Ethan, years ago, but with Griffin now in on her secret, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of Hope County knows as well. Her only other option may be to make sure the Captain keeps his mouth shut, no matter what that entails from her.

———————

It was the next morning and the Judge was back behind the mill, hiding from everyone, especially from Griffin. After what happened last night, they were still furious, but even with their anger, the Judge felt a pang of guilt every time they looked at the new dent in the wall. Maybe they shouldn’t of been so rough with the Captain, but he had terrified them. 

Have they really been that readable? They held an old necklace in their hand, tightening their grip on it when the question came to mind. They’ll just have to be more careful for now on. The Captain may know their secret but no one else does as far as they’re aware. They are Joseph’s Judge, nothing more than his shadow, and they fully intend to keep it that way. 

“Judge.”

Ethan’s arrival interrupted their worried thoughts. He was approaching them, taking his time walking down the stoney shore as he watched the distant cloud of Bliss. The Judge quickly pocketed the necklace and faced Ethan, waiting for him to reach them.

“You came back here, again,” Ethan said. The Judge tilted their head.

“I heard what happened last night,” he elaborated. 

“The Captain told you,” the Judge said.

“Yes, well, I was near enough to hear your fight. Whatever you did, you certainly scared him.”

“I didn’t want to,” The Judge said, then shook their head, “no, I did.”

“He certainly likes to stick his nose into other people's business, don’t you think?” 

“What do you want?” The Judge asked, wearily.

“I wanted to see how you were doing, after last night,” Ethan said, “I do care for my family, just like the Father does.”

“My feelings don’t matter,” the Judge said. Ethan nodded his head.

“You are still a part of this family and now is not the time for any of us to falter,” he said.

“I am not faltering,” the Judge said, “my faith in the Father is as strong as ever.”

“I should hope it is,” Ethan smiled up at them, but under the mask, the Judge did not smile back.

“What do you really want from me?” The Judge asked, “I doubt you came out here to find me by yourself just to see if I am… fine.”

“You are right. I had other things we didn’t get the chance to talk about,” Ethan said, “your travels with the Captain, how have they been?”

“They have been going well. He’s been helping Prosperity with the fight against the sinners and has been making enormous progress. He is headstrong and bold, but he has been doing well. The Father would be proud of him.”

“And what about your old friends,” Ethan asked.

“They all seem...well,” the Judge said tersely. 

“Do you miss them?”

“No.”

“That’s a shame,” Ethan said. The Judge gave him a look but he didn’t continue.

Yells coming from the other side of the mill got the Judge’s attention. The Judge ran past Ethan to the yard, fearing for a Highwayman attack, or something worse.

Instead, when the Judge and Ethan, who had followed them, came around the corner, they were met with both peggies and Scavengers surrounding another one of the Scavengers. She was standing in one of the boats, at the engine, tugging at something the Judge couldn’t see from where they were at. She stood back up as the Judge approached the crowd.

“Someone messed with the engine!” She yelled at everyone, then walked over to another boat and looked down at it. “Same with this one!”

A second Scavenger started to look at the boats, scowling when he inspected the third boats also broken engine but then stopped at the fourth one.

“The peggies boat is fine!” He said. He glared at the peggies, who looked stunned. Ethan pushed his way past the Judge and started forward, standing in front of his people as he faced the scavenger.

“Are you trying to accuse us of something?” He asked, glaring back.

“One of you peggies fucked with our boats!” He said, causing a couple of other scavengers to yell out in agreement. Ethan opened his mouth to object.

“Hey- what’s going on?” A voice called, interrupting him, and Griffin hurried forward, Carmina and Crusty following close behind. Farther behind them, the Judge could see Wheaty hanging by the entrance of the mill, watching the scene in front of him with narrowed eyes. The Judge noticed that Griffin looked visibly tired but had no time to dwell on it as the Scavenger answered his question.

“The peggies fucked with our boats!” The scavenger repeated.

“We did not!” One of the peggies retorted, stepping past Ethan, scowling. His companions muttered in agreement.

“Then how come our boats are the only ones that were tampered with and yours are not!?” More scavengers yelled when the man said it. 

“Hey, calm down!” Griffin said, stepping up between the peggie and scavenger who were slowly starting to walk up to each other. The Scavenger waved an angry hand at Ethan and peggies.

“Why the hell do we even have the peggies here anyway!? They didn’t help us fight the Highwaymen! None of them lifted a hand to help us get the Island, why should they get to stay?!” The scavenger glared down at Griffin as a couple more people yelled in agreement. The Judge walked over to the Captain and stood next to him, watching the scavenger.

“We need them,” Griffin said, surprisingly keeping his composure.

“For what?”

“To fight the Highwaymen, the same fucking reason we took this outpost in the first place!” Griffin said, pushing back the scavenger. The man backed up and looked at Crusty. More people have started to come out of the mill, Pastor Jerome stood with Wheaty and even more people were watching from the mill windows. One thing was apparent, no one was happy.

“We were doing fine by ourselves,” The man said.

“No we were not and you know it,” Griffin said, “Prosperity still hasn’t recovered from the Twins last attack, if they were successful then who would you have called if they had decided to attack the Marina next? If we start arguing with each other then we are not going to win this,” Griffin turned around to face the crowd.

The Judge looked over at Carmina, who was watching Griffin, apprehensively. All the same, she casted a couple of glances at the broken boats, then at Ethan, who was watching Griffin, expressionless.

Griffin turned to the scavenger. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe the Highwaymen could of done it? We had a couple of them escape, what if they had decided to come back?” 

“Then why leave the peggie’s boat alone?” The man asked, looking unconvinced.

“I don’t know, to start a fight? Maybe they did it last night when we were all asleep, I don’t know! But it wasn’t the peggies, they wouldn’t of done this.”

“Why? Because ‘Joseph told them not to?’” The man said, mockingly. He then leaned to his right to look at Crusty and pointed at him, “You’re the one I follow, not the Captain. Do you believe any of this shit?”

Crusty had averted his eyes to the ground, a clearly unhappy look on his face. He finally looked up at the scavenger and sighed. “I trust the Captain and if the Captain trusts the peggies, and Joseph, then I have no reason not to believe him,” he said, but his voice sounded flat. Whatever he was saying to calm his people down, he did not believe it at all.

The man scoffed and shoved Griffin out of his way, walking past him, the Judge, and everyone else, back to the mill, where Wheaty and Jerome moved out of his way to let him through.

“Thank you, for standing up for us,” Ethan said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Whatever,” Griffin replied. He seemed defeated and tired, looking over at the boats again. He shook his head at them and turned around, walking past the Judge, not even acknowledging them, and back into the mill. 

The Judge stayed outside as Crusty and Carmina followed him, the peggies, meanwhile, have started talking among themselves about what had just happened. Ethan didn’t join them, he just left the group, walking up the bridge to look out at the distant island where New Eden currently resides.

——————

“-have to come up with a new plan.” The Judge heard Wheaty say when they stepped up the stairs to where Griffin was. Crusty, Carmina, and Jerome were there as well, pouring over a map that was placed in front of them on a table.

“We could take the peggies boat back to the Marina, get some folks to come fix the ones we have here,” Wheaty suggested, Crusty sighed.

“I agree,” he said, “I’d hate to be left here without some way to escape, if the Highwaymen siege us, but we have no other choice,” He looked over at Griffin, “Are you sure it wasn’t the peggies who sabotaged our boats?”

“Yes I am sure,” Griffin said, “they wouldn’t do something this stupid.”

“How do you know?” Crusty asked.

“It’s sloppy,” Pastor Jerome said quickly, before Griffin could open his mouth, “whoever did this wants to put us against each other, their only problem is, they made their goal obvious.”

“But why?” Wheaty asked. 

“To divide us,” Griffin said, slowly calming down again. He looked up at the Judge, “you don’t think… one of the Scavengers did it?”

Crusty gave an audible huff but his eyes joined everyone else as they all trained on the Judge. They shrugged, but they started to feel uneased. It wasn’t unlikely that it could of been a scavenger, why risk so much though, the Judge didn’t know.

“It doesn’t matter who did it now. The boats will still stay busted and we will still have to get someone from the Marina to fix them,” Carmina said, “so, who’s going to go?”

“I’ll go,” Griffin said, “I’ll take the Judge and Carmina with me too.” 

“I’ll go as well,” Wheaty said, “which leaves Pastor Jerome and Crusty in charge of the Island.”

“Sounds good to me,” Crusty said. The Judge noticed he still looked visibly unhappy, and they really couldn’t blame him. Tensions skyrocketed since that morning and the last thing any of the Scavengers and peggies wanted was to be near each other.

“So here’s what I’m thinking,” Griffin said, pointing to the other circled location on the map, “the Pet Pen is the next place we wanted to attack. Our people, all of those not at the Bullet Farm, are there. Me and the Judge could scout the place out and Wheaty and Carmina could come back for everyone here. Does that sound good?”

“I wouldn’t go there just by yourselves, outsider.”

Ethan had arrived, how long he was listening to their plans, the Judge was unsure. He walked up to the table and looked at the map, frowning.

“That area was deemed cursed by the Father.”

“What are you going on about?” Crusty asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

“The pen is located in a very narrow area not far from your docks between the Bliss in the northwest and the radiation in the east,” Ethan said,tracing a line with his finger, starting at the Marina, heading towards the top of the map, “that safe space, however, is cursed.”

“By _what_?” Crusty asked again.

“Visions. Nightmares. Hallucinations. All byproducts of the horrors left behind after the Collapse,” Ethan said, “it is one of the two places still left in this county where you can truly lose your mind.”

“We still need to go there, insanity or not,” Griffin said, “New Edeners are there as well as our people. Don’t you want to rescue them?”

“I do, but rushing in is not something I advise. I would wish for you to be careful with this plan,” Ethan said. He gave the Judge a quick glance.

“We will be,” Griffin reassured Ethan.

“See that you are,” Ethan said. Pastor Jerome picked up the map and rolled it up, handing it to Griffin.

“We’ll see you in a few days,” he said, “good luck, to all four of you.”

“We’re going to need it,” Griffin replied. He turned around and left the room, Ethan following after him moments later.

“I don’t think he knows what he’s doing,” Wheaty said.

“No he doesn’t, but he’s trying his best,” Pastor Jerome said, “We can only hope that things can only get better from here.”

“He’s going to need our help more than ever, if things continue going south,” Carmina said, “but I know Cap, he’s going to pull through, I can feel it.”

The Judge gave a sigh. Carmina had to be right, but then why can’t the Judge get rid of the feeling like something is about to go so horribly wrong?

———————

“So three of our boats all broke down and the peggies boat just _happened_ to magically stay in working condition and you are _absolutely_ sure that the peggies has nothing to do with it?”

“Yes,” Griffin said, tired.

Him, Wheaty, Carmina and the Judge were all back at the Marina. Night had fallen but the outpost was still wide awake. Tammy was with them in their board room, looking over at Griffin and Carmina from across the table with a raised eyebrow. The Judge was farther behind him, leaning against the wall, staring off and thinking of who knows what. Wheaty was standing closer to Tammy, shooting Griffin an occasional apologetic glance before going back to the stony look he had been wearing since the sabotaged boats were first discovered.

Tammy was predictably not pleased with the news and she now leaned forward to look at Griffin, who really only wanted to go to bed right now. After his solo meeting with the Judge the night before and his talk with Ethan afterwards, Griffin had tried to go to bed, but spent the night wide awake, terrified, almost certain that each creak was the Judge approaching his presumably sleeping form, to make sure that Griffin’s silence was permanent. The destroyed boats did not help him either and he was very close to snapping. However, miraculously, he kept calm, answering every person's annoying questions as clearly as possible.

Tammy gave the Judge a look. 

“And you brought back a… ‘friend’ to help?”

“We’re going to go spying on the Pet Pen until all of the boats are fixed,” Griffin answered wearily.

“And you wanted a peggie to help you? Why?”

“Because I’ve been traveling with the Judge for a while and they’re pretty damn near impossible to hear, so they’re perfect for the job. Can I go to bed now?” Griffin asked.

Tammy rolled her eyes then looked up at the Judge.

“Hey, you,” Tammy called. The Judge actually jumped when she spoke to them, looking at her, still leaning on the wall.

“Was any of your people involved in what happened with our boats?” Tammy asked, now walking around the table to them. The Judge seemed to shrink, pressing back more against the wall, shaking their head.

“They can’t speak,” Griffin said. 

“Are you sure about that?” Tammy asked, giving the Judge another glare, “have you ever thought that maybe it’s just a ruse?”

“No, Tammy, I actually didn’t,” Griffin said sarcastically, “maybe you should try getting them to talk, I’m sure that will work out for you.”

Wheaty was trying to signal something to Griffin but he didn’t really care. He’s at his limit and if he has to go on yet another debate on the peggies morality then Griffin was going to lose it.

Tammy gave him an offended look.

“Do you think this is some kind of game?” She asked.

“Of course I fucking don’t but another interrogation is the last thing I wanted when I came back here,” Griffin said. He didn’t move when Tammy started to walk up to him.

“Well it’s what you get after that stunt those peggies pulled at the Island! Our people are stuck there!”

“And New Eden’s people are too, Did you think there was a reason I took the Judge and not Joseph’s son?” 

“If you were thinking straight you wouldn’t of brought a peggie with you at all,” Tammy said.

“I never ‘think straight,’” Griffin said. Wheaty gave a snort and he continued, “Maybe if you gave the Judge a chance, you actually might like having the peggies around.”

“That is never going to happen,” Tammy said, and shot the Judge another glare for good measure.

Griffin really didn’t want to continue this conversation anymore. He is exhausted, he spent most of the day on a boat, and he all wants more than anything in the world at that moment was for the day to end. Griffin turned around and started to walk out the door.

“Where are you going?” Tammy asked.

“Bed,” Griffin growled. He didn’t even wait to hear a reply from her, letting the door close on its own as he made his way out, but the Judge had followed after him.

Griffin was furious. He knew a lot of his anger was from the sleep he was so clearly lacking, but the feelings of fear and doubt were there as well, rolling around, each trying to take control of him. He hated it. He knows he could be wrong but besides the Highwaymen, or a Scavenger trying to cause some trouble, Griffin couldn’t see the peggies willing to disobey Joseph and to sabotage their alliance, disdain for the scavengers or not.

Unless someone wanted to break their alliance just to get away from the Scavengers. Griffin stopped and let the Judge past him, watching their retreating figure with growing fear. Griffin had been avoiding them since last night, leaving them at the Island would of made him feel safer, but he can’t stay scared of them forever. Their destinies are tied at this point, and if the looming threat of the Judge was a part of it then Griffin is just going to have to swallow his doubts and think of someway to repair their broken friendship, even if it means igniting the Judge’s anger one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make this clear since I forgot to last chapter but I always intended for anna May to have Jacobs tags, I just completely forgot to mention she had them in previous chapters. There wasn’t really a place for me to include them in anyway, she wouldn’t be waving them around like a trophy in her previous situation.
> 
> Title is from Spanish Sahara by Foals


	12. I Wish This Was Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If only I knew how to fly, then I could convince myself  
>  This isn't my time to die  
> Instead I'm rocketing faster, and faster  
> I dive, fall to the floor  
> And when my body crashes to the pavement  
> I'm right back where I was before_

Griffin knew there was something in the lands northeast of Hope County that frightened the peggies, someplace that Ethan described as a nightmare, but what Griffin didn’t realize was that he meant it literally. Melted rocks and burnt trees littered the area, along with wisps of the strange irradiated clouds that covered most of the mountain ranges around and outside of Hope County. However, this area must of been relatively safe if the Marina was close by, and worse so, the Pet Pen was in it.

Griffin viewed the location through a pair of old binoculars and studied the old zoo. Most of it was destroyed with the usual new structures built around it, but this time, most of the outpost was accompanied by cages. Griffin supposed not all of them got destroyed in the Collapse, but the Pet Pen made use of what was left. 

The animals that were in the zoo were long dead by now, killed by either Eden’s Gate or the Collapse, but the Highwaymen has found something new to fill the empty cages with. Dirty, starved looking people sat around inside the pens, a couple occasionally getting spooked by bored Highwaymen. An old statue of a bear with a cheeseburger, maybe once was something people found joy seeing, laid on its side near the Pet Pen, the peeled and chipped paint gave the statue a new, terrifying look. This was no longer one of Hope County’s attractions, whatever happy reputation the FANG Center once had was now overshadowed by its new purpose as the Highwaymen’s Pet Pen.

Griffin shook his head as he lowered the binoculars and slowly made his way back down to the Judge, who was at the bottom of the rocky outcrop they were hiding behind.

“Packed with prisoners, but we should be able to take it with what we have,” Griffin said. The Judge grunted.

“Do you have any idea on how we can sneak in?” He asked, “ever been here before the world ended?” Another grunt was his answer. Sighing, Griffin pocketed the binoculars.

“Let’s go. If we leave now, we can get back to the Marina by nightfall,” Griffin led the way back home, thinking. They’ll have to plan a full on assault. The pen looks well guarded and if those escaped Highwaymen from the Island had made any contact with other groups of their people, then their prisoner trick won’t work again. He had no idea how to sneak around inside, and since he knew for a fact that the FANG centers original owner was long dead, the zoo’s secrets were gone with it, meaning that whatever element of surprise they could of had on the Highwaymen was lost now. 

And there was still what Ethan had said about this place. He had talked with Wheaty and Tammy before they left that day. Tammy’s answers were curt and she didn’t say much, but both of them agreed that whatever stories Ethan told may have some truth, the north just wasn’t explored enough for them to make some final judgement. Griffin looked over at the Judge. It couldn’t hurt to ask them.

“Hey, what did Ethan meant by losing your mind here? Is this place full of Bliss or something?” Griffin asked. The Judge gave an annoyed sigh.

“No, it’s not,” the Judge said, “What he said is just an exaggeration of the truth, nonetheless, yes we should be careful going no farther north than the Pet Pen.”

“Can I ask why?”

“You’re going to anyway,” the Judge said, “it’s because of the conditioning. Most of you should be fine, but if you plan on bringing me or Tammy then I’d advice not going farther north.”

“What’s the condition-“

“There’s a certain song that was used to train people to be killers,” the Judge snapped. Griffin stopped walking.

“You don’t need to know much more unless you so stupidly decide to play it, then everyone who has been sent to Jacob’s chair will try to kill whoever is around them, against their will, is there anything else you need to badger me about?” The Judge had their arms crossed and was watching Griffin. He raised an eyebrow at them, frowning.

“You don’t have to be an ass about it. Jesus Christ, are you still upset that I started to figure you out?” The Judge took a step back but stayed silent.

“I don’t even get what your fucking problem is, if you wanted to stay in New Eden and be Joseph’s best friend after whatever the hell happened between you guys then why don’t you just say so instead of over complicating it for everyone who still cares about you!”

The Judge still made no reply but they had uncrossed their arms, their hands had balled into fists at their side. Griffin started to feel a prickle of fear, but he stood his ground and took a deep breath.

“When I first heard stories about you I wondered what kind of person you were. Every one of the Scavengers has such a high opinion about you, but all you are is a coward that hides behind that mask because they’re ashamed to tell their friends the truth.”

Griffin took a step forward to the unmoving Judge.

“Now are you going to tell me what the hell your problem is or are you going to continue throwing your tantrum?” Griffin growled. 

“I am not throwing a tantrum,” the Judge growled.

“Really, doesn’t seem like it.”

“You have no right to lecture me when you don’t even know anything about me,” The Judge said, raising their voice.

“I do when you’re purposefully being a stubborn asshole!” Griffin yelled back.

“Then send me home! Send me back to New Eden, and I promise you, you won’t have to worry about seeing me anymore!”

“I’m not going to do that,” Griffin said. The Judge bristled.

“I need your help and, like it or not, you’re stuck with me, so you better get used to it!” Griffin began to turn around and walk away but the Judge had reached out and grabbed his arm. Griffin tried to pull himself out of their grip, but they didn’t let go. He began to feel panicked and, in an impulsive moment, threw his hands out at the Judges face, hitting them in the head. Their mask flew off and, in their surprise, they let go of Griffin.

He took a couple of steps back staring at the Judge as they shook their head then looked over at the mask on the ground before slowly facing Griffin. The first thing he noticed about them was how utterly exhausted the Judge looked. Their brown eyes had a distant look, dark circles around them showed many nights of restless sleep. They had blond hair that was streaked with silver that almost seemed to pour out from under their hood once the mask was removed. But what stood out most to Griffin was how… sad they looked. Even in his own anger and fear, he couldn’t help but feel pity for them.

“Do you have fun antagonizing me, Captain?” The Judge asked quietly, their voice filled with nothing but rage.

“I don’t like fucking around with you but you make it hard to stay on your good side,” he replied, watching them with a stony face.

“And you don’t do a good job staying on it,” the Judge shot back. They walked over to the discarded mask and picked it up, pulling it back on, hiding their self once more.

“Hey, you’re not exactly the easiest person to get along with either,” Griffin said, “I want to talk but it seems like all you want to do is get offended when I try to have a civilized conversation with you.”

“A civilized conversation, is that what you call digging into my personal matters?” The Judge asked.

“Don’t blame me, it was Ethan who told me who you are!” Griffin said. The Judge had actually jumped when he said it.

“He...told you?” The Judge said. Griffin noticed they didn’t sound surprised, catching his curiosity.

“Not downright, but he hinted at it. I just figured out the rest by myself,” Griffin said, “even I’m doing a better job at keeping your stupid secret and I don’t even know what is so important about keeping it! I want to help you but you just seem content to just constantly push me away!”

“And you think that’s a good enough reason to trust you?” The Judge asked, the anger returning, “all you have been doing is pushing and pushing me, and you won’t like it when I finally decide that I’ve had enough of your antics.”

“So kill me then,” Griffin yelled, “kill me and then go back home to your perfect Eden and have fun telling Joseph what happened to his ‘shepard!’”

“ _You dare use the Father’s will against me?_ ” The Judge was now practically trembling with rage. Griffin grew more fearful but he still stood his ground, focusing on keeping himself steady.

“You stand there and act like you have every right to tell me what I should be doing and then you go ahead and make a mockery of your own duties!” The Judge said, “You don’t know what you have already been getting yourself into but you stand there and judge me, as if you have any idea what I’ve done, what I’ve sacrificed, for Joseph!” Griffin could see them opening and closing their fists, as if they were itching to do nothing more than to grab Griffin again.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Griffin said, “but I sure am doing a hell of a better job in this fight than you have been! At least I haven’t been hiding away from everyone every opportunity I get! At least I’m trying to do _something_ to help New Eden and Prosperity! At least I’m not cowering at every little thing that reminds me of some bullshit from the past because you can’t seem to fucking realize that this isn’t the old world anymore and it’s time for you to grow the fuck up!”

“Is that what you really think?” The Judge’s voice has gotten dangerously quiet, the rage was there, but something else, something Griffin couldn’t give a name to. It was almost as if they came to a sudden conclusion about something they were unaware of before. They started to slowly take steps towards Griffin, who began to move backwards with them.

“You think you know what you’re doing? You think you have it all figured out. You don’t know anything,” the continued to walk forward, “You were not there, seventeen years ago, you have no idea what it was like, fighting Eden’s Gate. You don’t know what it’s like to watch everyone you love suffer and die in front of you, too helpless to stop it. You don’t know what it’s like to strike down people who have given up, giving no mercy to those who ask for it.”

Griffin’s back hit a wall and he realized he was at the face of a cliff. He looked up to the ledge above him, then back at the Judge who was now much more closer than before.

“I do though. I’ve seen it all, I’ve struck down my friends as I struck down my enemies. I suffered more than most around here and yet I’m still alive. I endured and survived things you can’t even imagine, and you believe you know more about me than I do, but you don’t know anything.”

The Judge had reached Griffin and placed a hand at the rock next to him. They leaned down until they were face to face with him, their voice low as they spoke.

“You know nothing and you don’t want to admit it,” the Judge said, “you know nothing and it scares you that you don’t. You have no idea what you have gotten into, but you are the one who Joseph has seen, even if you don’t want to be. God told him about me too, a long time ago, when the world was still whole. His prophecy says you will rebuild Eden to a new glory and he is right, you will, but at a personal cost for you, and you don’t even know it. You can’t stop it, you can’t fight it, believe me, Captain, I have tried. For the price of your happiness, Hope County will prosper.”

Griffin was shaking but he didn’t say anything, hoping that the growing fear he was feeling wasn’t showing on his face. The Judge seemed satisfied with what they said, however, and they stood up straight again and took a couple of steps back.

“Think on that, Captain,” they said, and began to walk away from Griffin, not caring to see if the Captain was following them back home to the Marina.

———————

When Anna May and Joseph left the bunker, they left one dark place to emerge into another one. Dust was settled around on the ground, gently being carried up into the wind and spun around, before laying back onto the dirt again. Heavy, yellow tinted clouds covered the sky, allowing little light to shine through onto the ruined land below. Dead trees littered the landscape and the Henbane River didn’t move, the water in the river still choked with mud even though the end of the world was 2 years ago.

Anna May had given Joseph her note that next morning, packing silently as he read it. He had said nothing to her, but a silent agreement has been made between the two of them, no other words were necessary. They left the bunker, and with it, their history was left to rot.

But not quite yet. Anna May didn’t even have to ask Joseph to go to the place she most wanted to see. He led the way forward, following the faint leftover paths through the dead woods until they found what she was looking for.

If the bodies of Sheriff Whitehorse and Deputies Pratt and Hudson were there, Anna May did not see them. The car laid ash covered and burnt, broken branches covering much of the car from any new elements that could disrupt its final resting place. Anna May wanted to get closer and look inside, but couldn’t bring herself to take another step.

A horrible yet familiar pain shot through her chest and Anna May had to force herself to choke back tears, fighting the urge to cry. She wanted to say something, some desperate plea she could give to gain any sort of forgiveness from them, if that even mattered now, but she managed to keep her silence. Joseph allowed her to stand there for a few more minutes, just so Anna May can gain some control over herself, before tapping her on the shoulder, signaling that it was time for them to go.

The world was cold, being somewhere to early spring or late winter. Anna May and Joseph were dressed expectantly for it, both of them wore coats, Joseph’s made him look smaller while Anna May’s had a large hood, which she currently wore to cover most of her face. She had told Joseph she wanted a mask, but the hood will have to do for now.

She had expected him to say something when they first left the bunker. This dust filled wasteland was not what Joseph had spoken of when he talked about Eden’s Garden, but even so, whatever fears and doubts he may have, he did not voice them. It wasn’t until they had left the island far behind them did Joseph finally speak.

“We are heading north, to Jacob’s Gate,” he said. Anna May was surprised, she thought they would of been going to Eden’s Gate’s compound as soon as they left.

“But the bunker is gone,” she said blankly. She and Pratt flooded it years ago, Joseph should fully well know this.

“Do you think when they were lost we left them ruined?” Joseph asked, “the Collapse did not wait for us to rebuild them brand new. No, once the initial damage was done, we began to repair them.”

“All three?”

“Yes.”

Anna May was silent, but she guesses it would make sense. The time between each heralds death was spacious enough, she spent more than a month alone fighting Jacob, if the peggies were still as determined to survive the end of the world as they were they must of wanted to get the bunkers back in operating order quickly, but all three? She didn’t think it was likely, but Joseph looked so certain, it had to be true.

So they had walked for a short time, until it appeared in the distance. They both spotted it in the horizon long before they got to the edge of it, a large, smokey, green tinged cloud that laid across a large stretch of Hope County in each direction, blocking their path. Joseph and Anna May walked up to it. She had noticed the familiar speckles of light that danced around it and realized that the cloud was all Bliss.

With no hesitation, Joseph stepped forward into the cloud and Anna May quickly walked in after him, not wanting to get lost in the green haze, only a moment later for the both of them to rush back out, each one retching and gasping for air as they left the toxic cloud.

When he was done coughing, Joseph stood back up, having fallen on all fours when he left the Bliss, and looked left and right at the distance of the cloud. He finally looked back right and pointed.

“We will go around it,” he said, his voice coming out choked and hoarse. Anna May nodded and stood up, following after Joseph as he began to walk around the edge of the cloud.

All of that was yesterday and Joseph was now getting visually frustrated, stopping every so often to try and enter the cloud again, only to come running back out, coughing from the toxic fumes. Anna May did not go in after him these next few times, instead, she stood by him and helped him to his feet after he fell with each fit. The haze seemed to have rounded out after a certain point, but Anna May knew it was only leading them past Jacob’s bunker, sending them north towards another, very familiar, structure.

“The Veteran’s Center is just a little farther away,” Anna May said when the sky first started to grow dark, marking the end of their second day above ground, “maybe they moved when the cloud first showed up?”

She didn’t want to voice her suspicions that the peggies who were at Jacob’s bunker, if any of them had made it there, were either trapped, or worse, suffocated by the cloud that seemed to have covered so much of the Whitetail Mountains. Joseph nodded at her, relaxing slightly at her suggestion.

“We will go and see,” was all he said, and they continued forward, following the cloud until they finally reached the still visible dirt path that led to the Veterans Center.

Anna May followed Joseph up the path apprehensively. Every visit she ever had to the place was never pleasant. Torture, starvation, helplessness, she felt it all in these walls, but worse so was the conditioning she gained under Jacob’s hands. Her own fear of experiencing it again was what had led her to destroy the records in Dutch’s bunker. Although the Veterans Center has fallen into Resistance hands before the bombs fell, Anna May avoided the place like the plague, making sure to keep all of her business in the Whitetails as far from it as she could. This may be the first time she’s ever willingly entered the old base.

The gates to the Veterans Center had fallen but the concrete wall that surrounded the rest of the grand building was still miraculously standing. So was the center itself, it’s charred walls showing only some damage as Anna May and Joseph cautiously stepped into its grounds. The old cages that had held both wolves and people were empty, every gate open and slowly creaking as they swung with every little breath of wind that swept through the centers grounds.

Anna May felt her heart start to race and focused on trying to calm down, not paying attention to Joseph, who had started to call out for his children, but no one answered back, the only response to Joseph’s voice was the wind whistling through the cages that surrounded them.

“We need to check inside,” Joseph said. If he was bothered by the silence, he didn’t show it. Instead, he led the way forward, into the dark building before them.

Dirt had blown inside, providing a thin carpet that Joseph and Anna May left footprints on. Some of the doors were closed while many were blown open. Anna May opened one door to find a single bed frame and a wheelchair, the walls painted with Jacob’s slogans, encouraging his new soldiers to hunt , to kill, to sacrifice. She closed the door and shook her head to Joseph, who continued down the halls.

They reached a set of stairs and climbed. Anna May was certain nobody was here, if there were people hiding here they would of found them by now, right?

She opened her mouth to say so, but had to stop herself from crashing into Joseph, who had abruptly stopped.

“Do you hear that?” He asked. He turned his head to one side, then the other.

“No, I don’t,” Anna May said. She began to listen too, straining to hear whatever Joseph was hearing, but everything still seemed silent.

“This way,” Joseph said, and continued moving forward, not looking into any of the rooms that laid through the hall. They reached another set of stairs and Joseph rushed forward, almost running up them. Anna May continued to follow him but halfway up she stopped, finally hearing the notes of an all familiar tune that was playing faintly in the building.

Oh no…

She tried to open her mouth, to say some warning to Joseph, but she was too late. Her vision had already started turning red when she heard the beginning words of Only You playing in the air and grabbed her head, gritting her teeth as the splitting pain that accompanied the music began. She looked up and saw Joseph, who was watching her as she fell, everything turning black as she slid down the stairs.

And her vision cleared and she was now in the all too familiar room in the Grandview Hotel where she was first put in the chair, however, the room was different now. No projector showed her the pictures of wolves tearing into flesh, no images of Eli to encourage her hunt. The room was mostly empty, dust slowly moving around in the breeze as she stood up from the wheelchair she was propped in.

Two figures stood up from their own chairs with her, each dark and unfamiliar, not like the Whitetails who accompanied her before. A gun was placed on the table in front of her, a painted white rifle, and she grabbed it, raising it to shoot the people in front of her, and hesitated.

Weapons appeared in the figures hands and Anna May was able to make out the details on them, horrified at what she saw. She couldn’t tell if the figures were male or female, they were burned so badly that any details that had made them unique human beings once were long gone. The guns they held glowed orange, sizzling the flesh of their handlers as the hot metal burned them. They had barely raised their weapons at her before Anna May shot them both, each one exploding into a cloud of smoke.

No encouragement from Jacob accompanied the execution she performed, just unintelligible whispers almost completely hidden by the distorted tune of Only You. The pressing feeling of moving forward was there, however, so she began to move, making it into the next room where a familiar red sniper rifle was waiting for her. Anna May picked it up and continued onwards.

More charred figures appeared and Anna May continued to shoot, dodging bullets from them as their numbers grew, then vanished as Anna May killed them all. She rushed forward, now outside the Veterans Center where everything was on fire.

Anna May wanted to scream, to beg herself to not continue, let it all end so she can disappear somewhere that wasn’t so so terrifyingly _red_. But that force pushed her forward and so she went inside, shooting now with an antique gold shotgun that she found waiting for her at the centers entrance.

She climbed up the stairs inside and found herself outside in the woods. This confused her for a moment, but she reckoned that she couldn’t be sent back to the Wolf’s Den like before. She had made her sacrifice there already, but now, her fear grew. If Eli wasn’t her sacrifice anymore than who was she being encouraged to kill this time?

Anna May pushed forward, killing the dead that ran at her from behind the blown up trees. She passed by an old radio tower, an on fire ranger station, and a burning hunters nest, until she ran into one last table, a single pistol placed on it. A bunker laid on its other side, the doors closed firmly shut, but when she grabbed the gun, they flew open, as if they were waiting for her to do just so.

Anna May made her way down the stairs but no enemies were waiting for her at the bottom. Curiously, she looked around before she turned the corner into the next hall. Mirrors were placed everywhere and the encouraging whispers became clearer. Anna May started to recognize individual voices as she walked, looking at each mirror where her face seemed to distort more and more with each one.

Grace, Nick, John, Virgil, Tammy, Tracy, Faith, and many other people she knew were speaking to her all at once, their voices becoming an unintelligible blur as she continued down the hall, all of them growing more and more excited as she walked forward. She wanted to scream at them, to tell them to stop talking, to leave her alone, but she pushed forward until she made it to a door that was opened on the left.

Joseph was kneeling in Dutch’s room, his back to Anna May as she stepped in. He was facing the Eden’s Gate cross he had painted on the wall a long time ago, not even moving to face Anna May as she slowly approached. The walls in the place were still covered in mirrors, throwing both of their reflections around in every corner. Anna May stepped forward once, then twice, raising the pistol to the back of Joseph’s head. The voices grew louder, more encouraging, as she began to squeeze the trigger-

_No!_

The voice in her own head yelled so loud, it caused her to gasp, and she turned her head to the side to look at her own reflection. Long blond strands of hair fell all over the place, dirt, blood, and ash were smeared on her cheeks. Her eyes were wide and terrified, her reflection gazing back at her pleadingly. Anna May forced her arm to move the gun, pointing it at her reflection, and squeezed the trigger. The bullet shattered the glass and her world went black as she fell into nothing.

——————

“Deputy… Deputy… Anna May!” An urgent voice, underlined with growing panic, yelled at her and her eyes fluttered open. She was lying on the ground, now outside of the Veteran’s Center. Joseph was sitting next to her, shaking her shoulders, but moved back when she opened her eyes. She looked up further and saw that they were right next to the centers walls, a window three stories in the air was shattered above her. 

Joseph helped Anna May sit up and she cried out as a searing jab of pain went up her left arm. She must of broke it in the fall. Broken glass littered the ground around her, pieces of it were in her jacket, blood already soaking through parts of the fabric.

“What...happened?” She asked when the pain lessened, noticing that she was not the only one who had gotten hurt.

“You jumped out a window,” Joseph said. He had a large bruise on his face again, much like the one she gave him when they fought each other at the compound, and blood dripped down the side of his head. The wounds didn’t look serious but Joseph was visually shaken, slightly trembling as he helped Anna May to her feet. 

“Are you alright?” She asked him, taking a step forward and wincing when she felt a large jab of pain in her leg. Luckily, unlike her arm, it was not broken.

“I am fine, my child,” Joseph said. He looked back up at the window.

“I tried to kill you,” she said. Joseph was silent, avoiding her eyes. He started to help her forward, leading her back to the front of the Veterans Center.

“You were back in the bunker,” Anna May continued. She shook her head and looked up at the building, “but it wasn’t really the bunker. I thought I was going to go back to the Wolf’s Den again.”

They had made it to the front of the center and Anna May sat down on the stairs, relieved to not have to walk anymore. She looked over at the wide open front door, the entrance black and forbidding as it became impossible to see inside. It was almost completely dark out, with the setting sun and the cloud covered sky, night came quickly, making the woods outside the centers gates look menacing. 

Anna May shivered. Even with what had just happened, she didn’t want to spend the night out there in the forest. Joseph seemed to have the same thought, as he stood up, looking back into the building.

“I will find us some wood and make a fire,” he said, “and something to make a splint. We’ll sleep out here tonight, then leave this cursed place in the morning.”

Anna May nodded at him and he walked inside, the darkness soon consumed him and Anna May was left outside, alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter would of been posted sooner but I decided to rewrite the whole beginning conversation with the Judge and Griffin, which I’m glad I did. 
> 
> I had to bring the Vererans Center in somehow, I was sad we still couldn’t go there in New Dawn. But I wanted to give it a kind of super natural feel. Are there still radios playing Only You two years after the bombs? Is Jacobs ghost haunting the place? Who knows.
> 
> Title is from Nightmare by Set it Off


	13. Take a Stand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Singing “Oh Lord, this Earth was made for us!”  
>  Singing “Oh Lord, the sinful life just ain’t enough!”  
> When I see your face I know I must protect my place  
> I’ll keep my rifle by my side._

It was night outside, heavy clouds covered the sky, shielding the torn land from the lights above. The only sign of life in this barren part of the wasteland was a lit up structure next to an old statue of a bear with a cheeseburger. Highwaymen patrolled its walls, walking back and forth on it, pausing occasionally to look out at the wastes in front of them. 

None of the people at the Pet Pen, Highwaymen and prisoners alike, wanted to be there. The air of the zoo was heavy and damp, almost choking. Whatever the leftover radiation and that toxic cloud, barely visible in the east, was doing to the air, everyone knew to never trust everything they saw in the pens walls. Anyone who stayed long enough swore they heard cries from dying animals and people or saw figures that lurked in the shadows, but everyone quickly learns that the best thing to do is to ignore them, no matter how persistent they are. 

Griffin looked out over the rock outcrop he and Wheaty were spying from, ducking down when the spotlight from the outpost shined in his direction. He looked back up when it disappeared, only this time, Wheaty raised his head to look at the prison with him.

“There’s five of them on that wall, who knows how many more inside,” Griffin said quietly, lowering a pair of binoculars he was holding in his hand. Wheaty grabbed at them and raised them up.

“You might of been right, Captain,” he said, “we’re going to have to swarm them.”

The two of them slowly climbed down and back to the group of people at the slope below.

After a couple days where the Judge and Griffin scouted the Pet Pen, the boats back at the Island were fixed, their broken motors repaired and now ready to sail again. Some of the peggies and Jerome’s people stayed behind while everyone else got onto the newly fixed ships then sailed back to the Marina to go along with the next part of the fight.

Griffin was still shaken up by his last conversation with the Judge. The next few times they duo spied on the Pen, no words were exchanged between the two of them, each outing so silent, it was as if Griffin was traveling by himself, the Judge at his side as unimportant as the dead trees and rocks around him. He couldn’t even begin to decipher the message they gave him on their first run north, spending another restless night fighting the urge to flee the Marina, just to find a place to sleep where he knows the Judge won’t find him. 

His only option was to trick himself into thinking the Judge’s threats were empty, falling asleep each night by convincing himself that there’s no way they would betray Joseph, but his sleep was full of nightmares of red rooms and masked strangers who appeared out of nowhere, ready to rip and tear into him with elongated hands.

Griffin felt horrible about their fight, but he knew what he had said was needed. They were finally getting a footing in this war again and the Judge bailing out on him for every little petty reason is not what he needed right now. Harsh words or not, the Judge needs to realize that sooner or later or their behavior is going to make this fight much more difficult for everyone.

But Griffin couldn’t let his doubts about the Judge get in the way of what his real concerns should be. The Judge told him he made a mockery of his role in all of this, as a Captain of Security or as Joseph’s Shepherd, he didn’t know, and didn’t care. If they didn’t like how he was trying to fix this mess then that was their problem, unless they’re willing to offer some kind of coherent advice, then they can just deal with it.

His issues with the Judge, however, have nothing to do with the Pet Pen. At the Marina, in the meeting room with Crusty, Carmina, Tammy, Wheaty, and now, Pastor Jerome and Ethan, Griffin explained to them what he and the Judge saw and what they know about the place.

“Wouldn’t attacking the pen head on be risky?” Carmina asked.

“Yes but I don’t see no other option,” Griffin said, “it’s a jail, they have the place locked up tighter than the Island, and it’s in the middle of nowhere. Unless they reach the radios before us then I don’t think those flares of theirs is going to be useful to signal for backup, especially since we have the Marina now.”

“It’s a good idea,” Crusty said, “we can swarm them, once the prisoners are free a few may be willing to fight too.”

“I agree,” Pastor Jerome said. 

Ethan made no comment on their plans for the assault. Griffin looked over at him, but it took a few seconds of staring for Ethan to notice. He gave the Captain a small nod and, satisfied, Griffin rolled up his map.

Now the outcrop was their brief base of operations. Pastor Jerome and Carmina had decided to stay behind at the Marina, ready to provide backup in case things go south, while Crusty, Tammy, four of their people, the Judge, two peggies, and Ethan stood at the bottom of it watching Griffin and Wheaty climb back down to them.

“If we spread out we can surround them,” Griffin said, “I can give a signal and then we all can attack.”

“Sounds good,” Crusty said.

“I’ll take the Judge and Ethan,” Griffin said, “we’ll circle around them to the right.”

“Me and the rest of the peggies will go around them to the left,” Wheaty said. Griffin saw one peggie roll her eyes but made no comment on it.

“That’ll leave us here,” Tammy said. 

“Remember, just wait on my signal, alright?” Griffin said.

“Be careful,” Crusty said. Griffin gave a quick salute.

“Never been more careful in my life,” he said.  
Griffin waved Ethan and the Judge to him and started to slowly creep along the edge of the outcrop and through the smoke filled trees that surrounded much of the Pet Pen.

The other side of the pen didn’t have as many guards as the side the rest of their group was on did. They past an old drain that was now choked with mud, creeping up the old dirt path next to it to where more broken trees were leaning against a large rock. Griffin crawled under the old logs with Ethan and the Judge close behind him.

On the other side of the rock, Griffin looked around at the walls of the pen, looking for an opening. He saw a large cutout hole in the chain link fence and began to creep forward, slowly as not to catch any of the guards attention. Ethan and the Judge followed behind him, each one silent as shadows, bows ready, each following him through the hole. 

Griffin took his own weapon, the same rifle he had carried with him on the Island, and placed it off to the side. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the flare gun, slowly reloading the weapon. He ducked as a light swept over the trio, but soon returned to his work, putting the flare in the gun before he lifted it into the air and shot it. 

The flare exploded in the air, briefly tinting the sky in a warm orange glow. Griffin grabbed his rifle and ran forward, running to the walls of the pen and hiding behind it, waiting for Ethan and the Judge to reach him as well.

He could hear shouts from inside the pen as the confused Highwaymen began to approach their position, looking for the source of the flare. As one rounded the corner, Griffin grabbed him and, turning so the Highwayman’s back slammed into the wall on Griffin’s other side, he stabbed the man under the jaw and into his head. Warm blood streamed down his arm as he pulled the knife out, the corpse of the man slumping down against the wall. Griffin wiped his hands on his pants and bent down to grab his dropped gun.

Ethan and the Judge, meanwhile, had moved past Griffin as he made his kill and ran inside the pen. Griffin could hear yells and gun fire as a fight finally started to break out. He turned the corner and raised his rifle, aiming at the Highwaymen on the wall whose backs were turned, presumably shooting at Tammy or Wheaty’s group on the other side. Prisoners screamed and ducked down, lying flat on the ground as stray bullets flew over them. 

Griffin pulled up his rifle and began to aim at Highwaymen on the walls, trying to take the guards down before they could make it down to the ground. The rest of the peggies and Scavengers were inside now, every person fighting the Highwaymen. Griffin could see Tammy rummaging through one of the fallen guard’s pockets and pull out a pair of keys. She ran to one of the cage doors and unlocked it, pulling the door open.

“Come on, get out!” She yelled at the prisoners as they started getting up, running out of the cage and into freedom.

Another Highwayman started to shoot at Griffin, jumping down quickly from the wall and onto the ground. Griffin dodged and went around a wall, almost running into the Judge, who had tried to shove him away until they realized who they ran into.

“Are you OK?” Griffin yelled. The Judge nodded, then raised their bow. Griffin ducked as the Highwayman came around the corner, the arrow burying itself deep into the man’s shoulder. He grabbed the shaft and pulled, breaking the arrow in half. The man growled and raised his weapon, Griffin turned quickly and tackled the man to the ground grabbing his gun, taking a moment to wrestle the weapon from him before he finally pulled it out of the weakened man’s hands. He tossed it to the side and the man grabbed Griffin’s jacket and lunged to the side, rolling on the ground until the Highwayman was now on top of him.

Griffin raised his hands to protect himself, but didn’t have to block any of the man’s attacks. The Judge had grabbed the man, pulling him off the Captain and slamming him on the ground. He yelled in pain, trying to raise himself up, but the Judge stabbing the man in the chest quickly stopped him. He weakly grabbed at the Judges hand before it fell back, falling limply on the ground.

“Thanks!” Griffin said. The Judge made no response, they turned and ran off, running over to Ethan who now had the keys to the jail cell and was opening one of the doors.

One prisoner, an older woman with long brown hair and faded scars on her face, ran past Griffin with what looked like an old pick axe. An unlucky Highwaywoman was in her way, not seeing the angry woman running at her, nor did she see the axe swinging at her head. Her body fell to the ground, the prisoner struggling to pull the axe out of her head.

Griffin ran over to help her but didn’t need to. With a scream, the woman ripped the axe out and looked around, her eyes wide and wild. She spotted Griffin nodding her head at his direction.

“Holy shit, this feels good,” The woman yelled.

The last Highwayman fell off the wall and the fight was over. Griffin started to look at his surroundings, seeing exactly what the damage was. The bodies of dead Highwaymen littered the ground, along with occasional body of a prisoner who was caught, unluckily, in the crossfire. Miraculously, however, none of the people Griffin arrived with were among them, each person mingling among the prisoners as everyone caught their breath, realizing that they won.

Everyone alive was wandering through the old zoo, slowly regrouping and searching through the prison, checking for missing prisoners and hidden Highwaymen. The scarred woman dropped the pick axe, stretching her arms in the air.

“I haven’t gotten in a good fight since before they brought me here,” she said, “Who the hell are you?”

“Captain Griffin Myers,” Griffin replied, “I was brought here with my friend, Thomas Rush, to Hope County. We’re fighting the Twins.”

“Holy fuck, I’ve heard about you,” the woman said, “I’ve been here for months and even I know how fucking pissed the Twins are at you. You’re a goddamn legend. The names Jess Black.”

Jess held out a hand to Griffin who took it and shook it. Some of the prisoners have started gathering around Ethan, the Judge among them. Jess noticed Griffin watching them and shook her head.

“The peggies are going to be going back home, huh?” She said. She walked past Griffin and up to one of the prisoners by Ethan, clapping him on the back and talking to him in a hushed, excited voice. Ethan also watched this conversation at the corner of his eye, frowning, but he returned his attention back to the prisoners in front of him. 

“Ethan? What are you doing here with these sinners? Has the Father returned?” More of the peggies began to speak, but Ethan waving his hands quieted them down.

“The Father has returned, brothers and sisters,” Ethan said. The peggies began to mutter again but soon quieted, looking at Ethan with wide eyes.

“He has returned from his exile north, thanks to the help of the one that was promised to us by God!” At this, Ethan smiled and waved his hand over to Griffin, who walked up to stand with him.

“The Shepherd who the Father saw has come to us! An outsider, not from Eden himself, has lit the Flame of Eden and has taken the journey north to return Joseph Seed home! With his help, we have begun to fight back against the sinners who have taken our land, our homes, and soon, we will drive them out of our Eden once and for all!”

Ethan’s smile twitched as the prisoners around him cheered. The other prisoners and the rest of the Scavengers were standing around them, watching the celebrating group with stony faces. Griffin saw Tammy raise one eyebrow at his direction, but made no remark as the peggies reached out at Griffin. 

He really wished Ethan didn’t mention the “anointed by God” part of his involvement with the peggies. He gave an uncomfortable wave to the peggies before he started to step around them, trying to get back to the Scavengers. Jess approached him with Crusty and Wheaty.

“So, are you the peggies newest saint or something?” Jess asked, smirking at Griffin.

“Something like that,” Griffin said uncomfortably.

“Better you than Joseph Seed,” Jess said.

“You might not want the peggies hear you saying that, he’s on our side now,” Griffin said.

“Jesus Christ. First the world ends and now we’re best friends with the peggies,” she chuckled and shook her head. 

“You don’t seem to be upset about that,” Wheaty said. Jess gave a loud laugh.

“I’ve been stuck in a cage for who knows how long, I don’t give a fuck if it had to be a peggie or their saint to get me out, just as long as I can get far away from this piece of shit jailhouse.”

Wheaty looked surprised but Griffin didn’t want to ask her more about the Pet Pen or the peggies. The Judge was off far away from the celebration, watching the gathering peggies who were now talking excitedly to each other. Griffin left Jess and Wheaty and made his way to them.

“Thank you, for what you did back there,” Griffin said. The Judge looked at him.

“Don’t think that changes anything,” the Judge said quietly to him and got off the wall, bumping into Griffin’s shoulder as they walked past him and to the rest of the peggies. 

Griffin felt hurt watching them go and looked down at the ground. A hand was placed on his shoulder and he turned to see Ethan, who was smiling at Griffin.

“We did well, outsider,” Ethan said, “your friends want to talk to you, it’s time to go home.”

Griffin nodded and, without another word, walked over to where Wheaty, Crusty, Tammy, and Jess we’re standing. Tammy was talking to Jess about something as Griffin and Ethan approached them. She gave Griffin a small nod, but said nothing as he walked forward, facing the crowd of prisoners, so identical that Griffin couldn’t tell who were the peggies and who were the Scavengers. The Judge stood at the back of the crowd, watching Griffin as he stopped to view the crowd. He took a deep breath.

“I’m not the kind of person to give speeches,” Griffin began, “But we did it. We took one of the Highwaymen’s prisons, together. All of us, from New Eden, the Scavengers, even a person like me who belongs to neither, we’re here now because we worked together, and that’s what we need to continue to do. The Twins and their Highwaymen are still in Hope County, they thrive when they see us arguing among ourselves! They still have our people, our homes, and they will continue to take from us unless we push them out of this county once and for all!”

A couple of prisoners cheered and Griffin turned to face the people standing behind him.

“What should we do about this place?” Griffin asked.

“We’re definitely not letting the Twins have it back, that’s for sure,” Crusty said.

“Burn it down, all of it,” Jess immediately said. Ethan and Tammy both simultaneously gave her a look. She looked at one than the other before she spoke.

“Crusty is right, don’t give the Twins a chance to have their cages back. Burn it down and show them that we’re not fucking around any longer. That’ll be a clear sign to them.”

Griffin smiled at her.

“I think you and I are going to get along very well.”

————————

Griffin was standing on the top of the small hill this time, watching the flames leap higher and higher into the sky. The statue was now an unrecognizable blob as the flames quickly ate at the old paint on its side. The Pet Pen was no more, the jails remains slowly were being consumed and soon, with time, the pen will be a distant memory. Griffin felt good about what they did, maybe even feeling hopeful for whatever is to come.

He frowned, thinking back at the Judge. They helped him back at the jail but their anger in him was still obvious, but he doesn’t know what he could possibly do about it. Perhaps they’ll just never get along.

A buzz from his radio interrupted his thoughts and he raised it to his ear.

“Griffin here.”

“Hey, rabbit.”

Griffin felt himself jump as Mickey’s voice came through the radio. He fumbled with it, almost dropping it, before he spoke again.

“Hello there. What’s the least psychotic twin want with me this time?”

“I heard the little trick you played at our island,” Mickey said, “I can see you on the other side of that big bonfire you made right now.”

Griffin started to look around, trying to see Mickey. He heard a laugh on the radio.

“Don’t bother, you won’t find me. You’re safe, for now.”

“Yeah, that’s great, unless your sister is ready to get the jump on me, is that the game we’re playing here?” Griffin said, trying to sound unconcerned but he was slowly growing panicked, if not for himself but for the large group of people who were making camp below.

“I can go and do things by myself, rabbit, I don’t need Lou to supervise everything I do,” Mickey said, sounding slightly aggravated, “but once she finds out about this, she’s going to be mad, and you won’t like her angry.”

“I’ve already was given a clear idea of what she’s like when she’s angry, thanks, remember Barnes?” Griffin said, shuddering a little when he remembered how she killed him.

Mickey laughed again. “Whatever she did to that friend of yours and Rush, that was nothing. I, on the other hand, don’t always like to take the violent route of things, sometimes. In fact, I came out here to give you a warning.”

“Oh, a warning. Call me intrigued,” Griffin sat down on one of the rocks, leaning against one arm.

“You better listen up then,” Mickey said, “you want my advice? Stop what you’re doing and leave. You already fucked up enough of our stuff around here to cause some major fucking problems, don’t do more to make it worse for yourself.”

“I’m terrified,” Griffin said sarcastically.

“You should be,” Mickey agreed, “you think that because you got yourself some hippies from the woods and one of our bases or two that you’re some hot shit now? You are nothing, stick around long enough, and every one of those people who look up to you will realize it too.”

“I’m not scared,” Griffin said. 

“That’s your fault then,” Mickey said, “I’ll be seeing you soon, rabbit,” and with a click, Mickey shut her radio off. Griffin placed his right next to him and stared off at the flames, a large feeling of unease grew in his belly. How Mickey had quickly gotten to where they were and how she found out about the Pen so fast, he didn’t know, but now he knows there’s no going back now. The Peggies and Scavengers may just be willing to work together to take back Hope County, nothing the Twins say can stop them now.

Griffin heard a noise behind him and Crusty came climbing up the rocks.

“Hey, there you are, Cap,” he said, “we got a fire going down below too, if the one over there isn’t keeping you warm.”

Griffin smiled at him. 

“Yeah, I’ll be down,” Griffin said. Crusty beamed at him and climbed down. Griffin grabbed his radio and went after him. He had plenty of time to worry about the Twins threats later. For now, he won’t even let them ruin the sweet taste of victory they were given that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t updated in a while, I’ve been in a jam with some stuff but we’ll keep moving forward from here!
> 
> Also we got Jess back! Yay!
> 
> Title is from Keep Your Rifle by Your Side by Dan Romer


	14. A Smile in the Face Of Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Respect the fact that everything you hate  
>  Your thoughts, your words and everything you say  
> Defines you,  
>  defined you_

Griffin was thrown out the door and fell on the ground with a loud ‘omf.’The bartender, a large and incredibly angry man, looked down at Griffin from the entrance of his establishment as he scrambled to a sitting position. The barman raised a hand and pointed down at Griffin, jabbing it angrily in his direction.

“Next time you decide to start a fucking fight at my bar, buy something first, shit stain!” he yelled down at him, then slammed the door shut. Griffin spit on the ground and winced. He had a cut on his lip and, judging by the pain in his body, he’s going to wake up tomorrow with plenty of bruises. 

He stood up slowly, reaching out to grab something for support but only being met with air, almost falling over again. A couple of people who stood around and watched the scene made no move to help him. Griffin didn’t care, this was probably the most interesting thing that had happened here anyway.

Griffin had wandered into Galena days ago and he was already considered a nuisance. The town, luckily, barely got touched by the devastation that was present everywhere else, and the people there wanted to keep it that way. They certainly didn’t like strange men coming along and starting fights in almost every business around, but with everyone constantly trying to pick a fight with him, what other choice did Griffin have but to defend himself.

His crime tonight was getting in a fight with an older man and his gooney who had tried to rip him off, buying drinks secretly under Griffin’s tab, insistenting they’ll pay for everything. He didn’t have much and was righteously furious about it, but even he was no match for the two drunk men. The bartender was pissed at Griffin himself for trying to get out of paying his non-existent tab, and proceeded to kick Griffin out. Whatever, the place didn’t sell coffee anyway, not that any good cafe was open anymore.

Galena was a bust and he plans on moving out tomorrow anyway. Griffin started to limp down the barely lit street, thinking of where he can possibly go next and how things could have gone so wrong.

The Collapse, that’s what everyone’s been calling the end of the world. A fitting name considering that no form of aid has come for those who survived the bombs. It was as if they were abandoned, left to die when the air became impossible to breath in and all that they tried to grow crumpled to dust before the seedlings even pushed through the dirt. The government didn’t seem to care about its surviving civilians and plenty of people were ready to take advantage of it.

Griffin had left the ruined subway weeks after the bombs fell and felt, deep in his soul, that it was time for him to go. His family was all dead, he was certain of it, and now he was alone. He should of felt something when he realized this, his family is gone, his old friends, if none of them survived, probably went the same way too, but all Griffin could feel as he stepped into those ruins was relief. He could finally leave this city behind and actually make something of his life, no more long nights feeling sorry from himself, the awkward questions from his family about his plans for his future, he can finally do something that made him happy.

But his luck hasn’t been exactly the best. He tried heading south, hoping to reach a new place to make home, only to meet with more radiation from the nukes. When he woke one morning so ill that he could barely stand, he knew that going south meant death, and if he wasn’t dying of radiation exposure now, he certainly will soon if he kept on that current track.

So for two years he wandered west, staying in town to town where meatheads who think the Collapse is a sign to initiate “survival of the fittest” came to lay waste on those who were trying to rebuild. This wasn’t the first time Griffin had ran into someone who thought more with his dick than his head, but most folks seemed to take the laters side, so Griffin left, wracking himself up an unpleasant reputation and a personality to match. He had no real friends and everyone knew it.

Griffin didn’t care anyway. Once he finds what he’s looking for, or knows exactly what that is, then he’ll get the last laugh. He just has to have a foot in the right direction, and he certainly isn’t going to be finding that in the middle of Nowhere Illinois. He’ll give the big middle finger to Galena, come tomorrow, and find some other town to get treated poorly in.

He walked down the dark street, fighting the urge to not feel sorry for himself, when he passed by another, smaller, man. Griffin noticed he was being followed by a group of three people and Griffin turned and watched them curiously as they followed the smaller man into an alleyway. Griffin thought for a moment, debating on leaving it alone before he began to follow them, standing at the entrance of the alley and watching the scene in front of him.

The smaller man was grabbed by two of the men in the group while the third was hitting him, he punched the man once then twice in the face. The small man spit at the man in front of him, making the larger one laugh.

“You got some fight in ya, I give ya that,” he growled, the other two gave approving chuckles. The man lifted a fist again, ready to give the smaller man another blow.

“Hey, whoa, what the hell is going on here?” Griffin walked down the alley towards the group, arms raised, as the bigger man lowered his fist, looking down at Griffin with narrowed eyes.

“Who the hell are ya?” He asked, studying Griffin’s already ragged and battered appearance.

“Griffin, my dude, just Griffin,” Griffin walked up to the men and studied the three men next to the largest one, “Can I ask what the hell you and your louts are doing?”

One of the men holding the small man quietly said “louts” to his confused comrade, shooting him a glance. The largest man sneered.

“None of your business, shorty. Piss off,” the man said, and turned back to the smaller man they were mugging.

“Yes but to me it seems like you three are doing something you shouldn’t be doing,” Griffin pointed out.

“And what’s it to ya?” The man asked, turning back to Griffin.

“Well, I don’t know what a man such as yourself calls it, but you are harassing this poor guy here so I’m going to have to ask you to stop that,” Griffin said. The largest man studied him again before he leaned down until he was face to face with Griffin, who wrinkled his nose at the smell of the man's bad breath.

“And what are ya gonna do about it?” He asked.

“I could kick your ass,” Griffin suggested, causing the larger man to stand straight back up and give a bellowing laugh that echoed through the alley. His goonies chuckled with him, each of them giving a high pitched giggle that was barely audible over the large man’s booms.

“That’s cute! That’s really cute!” He said to his giggling comrades, then turned back to Griffin and swung his fist. Griffin felt it connect to the side of his head and he fell, his shoulder hitting the brick wall next to him. The larger man grabbed Griffin and lifted him up in the air by his shirt.

“Ya think you’re really funny, dontcha?” He asked.

“Very,” Griffin said, and kicked at the man’s shin, but it just caused the man to growl more. Griffin felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, maybe this really wasn’t the best idea.

The smaller man, meanwhile, had wrenched himself out of one of the men’s grasps, elbowing him in the stomach before he grabbed the second man’s arm and twisted it. The man yelled and the smaller man swung him into his companion, causing the two to fall onto each other on the ground. The larger man got distracted for a moment, turning his head to look at his fallen friends, when the small man tackled him, causing the larger man to drop Griffin. The man tripped on him and fell, cursing as he turned around on the ground, trying to stand back up. 

The smaller man grabbed Griffin and helped him to his feet.

“Run! Get your ass out of here!” He yelled, pushing Griffin away from him. Griffin grabbed his sleeve.

“I’m not leaving you here,” he said.

“None of you are leaving!” The larger man screamed. He was slowly getting back up to a kneeling position. The smaller man kicked the man in the stomach, causing him to fall and roll over, groaning in pain. His friends were helping each other to their feet, shooting glares at the direction of the small man and Griffin.

“Come on!” Griffin yelled and the smaller man nodded. The two of them began to run, the three men they left behind shouting after them. The smaller man led Griffin down another alley across the street and over a fence. Griffin could hear approaching footsteps as he scrambled over the chain link and didn’t look back, continuing to follow the small man through fences, other allies, gates, past dumpsters, running downhill and out onto the street again. The small man looked around.

“Where is it, where is it?” The small man muttered. Griffin could hear the men approaching behind them and was about to encourage the small man to keep running when he pointed at a car down the road.

“It’s still here! Quick get in!” The man yelled. They both ran to the car and Griffin got into the passenger's seat. The smaller man got into the driver’s side and pulled a pair of keys out as the three men appeared from the alley they had just left. One of them pointed at their direction.

“Come on, man, hurry up!” Griffin yelled as they started to run to them.

“I got it!” The smaller man said, and the car roared to life. The smaller man pushed the gas and the car rolled forward, the men had to dive out of the way in order to avoid being run over. Griffin turned to see the men screaming angrily after them and he gave a loud whoop and started laughing hysterically. The small man was laughing with him.

“That was, honestly, the most badass thing I’ve ever seen,” Griffin finally said, gasping for breath as his laughter slowly stopped.

“You are fucking insane,” the small man said. Griffin shrugged.

“Not like I was doing anything else interesting tonight,” Griffin said. They had reached the outskirts of the town and the small man parked the car, stopping and turning it off before leaning back in his chair.

“You got guts, I like that. What’s your name, friend?” 

“Griffin Myers,” Griffin said.

“Nice to meet you, Griffin. I’m Thomas Rush,” Rush held a hand out to Griffin, who shook it, “Sorry about getting you involved with all that back there. I don’t know how safe it will be for you to live here now.”

“Don’t worry, I was planning on leaving tomorrow anyway,” Griffin replied.

“So were me and my people,” Rush said.

“Your people? If you got friends then why were you alone?” 

“I wanted to take a walk, pick up some last minute supplies, I just didn’t realize that I was going to get jumped. It was good you had my back,” Rush said.

“Hey, it’s no trouble for me.”

“Say, is there anywhere you’re trying to go? We have vehicles and if you need a ride-“

“No, actually, I don’t have anywhere in mind really,” Griffin said, “I’m a bit of a drifter, a lone wanderer, if you will.”

“A lone wanderer, eh?” Rush said. He reached up and scratched the back of his neck. 

“Yep, just me and the open road. Nothing but the dirt on my shoes and the ache in my feet,” Griffin said.

“Sounds like lots of fun. Mind if I give you a better offer?”

“I don’t know, it’s gotta be something _really_ good.”

“I think you might like this one,” Rush said, “Why not come with me?”

“And go where?” Griffin asked.

“Sacramento. We plan on making a base there,” Rush said, “Me and my people are trying to rebuild America into something better. We got specialists, people who know how to build and to fight. We already helped a few folks on our trip, but once we can get to a place where we can really start doing some good, we should be able to start making a real difference.”

Griffin gave a whistle.

“That’s a tall task, but I don’t have anything to offer your group. I don’t have any real skills.”

“You’re a fighter, which, unfortunately, we need those. The end of the world has people acting like nutjobs and we’ve already had a few close shaves,” Rush gave a sigh then straightened himself up, “we have a security team, those in charge of helping to secure the communities we try to build. The Security Captain is great, a good woman, and she would be happy to have you on the team. You got it in you.”

“Security. Huh,” It did seem promising, although Griffin couldn’t be so sure. Rebuilding America seems nearly impossible, he’s witnessed first hand the destruction those bombs have caused to places like New York City. Sacramento could have gotten the same treatment, hell, the whole west coast of the Untied fucking States could of gotten it. Whatever Rush wants to do could be pointless.

But his offer was tempting. Griffin wasn’t so much interested in recreating what had existed before, but a new home would be nice. Friends would be nice too, and from what Griffin could see, he may have already made one.

“So what do you think?” Rush asked, interrupting his thoughts. 

“I’m not the easiest person to get along with,” Griffin said, “I was just leaving another fight when I found you.”

“I’ve made worse friends,” Rush replied.

“I’m not that smart either.”

“It seems like you’re just trying to undersell yourself.”

“It’s the truth!”

“It doesn’t change my mind. Griffin Myers, will you join me and help rebuild America?” Rush held out a hand to Griffin who, after a pause, took it, giving it a shake. Rush gave Griffin a grin.

“Welcome to the team,” Rush said.

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Griffin said, wondering what exactly he was getting himself into.

——————

Prosperity’s doors were opening as Griffin, the Judge, and Carmina walked up to the settlement. After the hike home, Griffin was happy to see the old ranch again, excited to be back to what’s starting to feel like home.

Everyone who went to the Pet Pen arrived at the Marina the day after they attacked the jail. Pastor Jerome and some of the Scavengers there quickly went to work to provide aid to the weary prisoners. Many were injured and sick, every one of them starved for who knows how long. Even Jess looked exhausted by the time they got to the Marina, the journey from the jail to the docks obviously had drained her. What these people needed was a hot meal and some actual sleep.

Ethan had decided to let his people stay in the Marina.

“I’ll bring them back to New Eden when they are strong enough,” he said, “we are welcome to stay, are we?”

“Yes,” Crusty replied, a little less tense than his previous interactions with Joseph’s son have been. He looked happier than Griffin had ever seen him. He constantly spotted the man checking up on the ex-prisoners and other Scavengers, cracking more jokes than Griffin thought any person could make. It was nicer to see this version of him rather than the grieving stressed one Griffin first met more than a week ago. 

Jess Black herself was just happy to be anywhere but the Pet Pen. Although she too was among the recovering, she spent more time around the other Scavengers, especially Wheaty and Tammy, than doing any actual resting. She was even already making plans for her involvement in Hope County’s fight against the Highwaymen, insisting that she gets a new bow sooner rather than later.

Griffin, of course, couldn’t stay long. Although he had already told Kim of their victory, the fact that Mickey had shown up was not a good sign to him at all. The quicker he’s away from there the better for everyone.

Of course he had told Crusty, Wheaty, and Tammy about his radio call. The moment they got back to the Marina, all of those who were not helping the wounded were building up the Marina’s defenses. The walls of the outpost were reinforced, a couple of Scavengers drove up to the ashened grave of the Pet Pen and returned with trucks full of the flame charred cage walls. After being reinforced with wood, steel, and whatever else they could find, high walls now surrounded the Marina from one shore edge to the other. No one was going to be able to sneak onto the docks now and Griffin left the Marina, satisfied that the outpost will not be taken by the Highwaymen so easily.

It took the trio a day and a half to walk back to Prosperity, but now that they’re home, Griffin was looking forward to a short break. They stepped through the gates where the Judge immediately left for the hanger. Griffin watched them leave, a sinking feeling in his gut. They haven’t spoken a word to each other since the fight at the pen and, if Griffin wasn’t mistaken, which isn’t likely, the Judge was avidly avoiding him, leaving the room they were in every time Griffin showed up. Ethan has obviously taken notice and the look he gave him always said the same thing when he met his eyes.

Carmina walked ahead of him.

“I’m going to go find Mom,” she said, “we’ll meet up later, right?”

“Yeah, see you later,” Griffin said absentmindedly as she walked away. He was wondering what to do when he saw something that caused him to grin.

Thomas Rush was walking towards him, but not with the same limp that he had last time Griffin was at Prosperity. He looked better, much better, than he has been since Griffin had rescued him in that mine. Rush headed over to Griffin and pulled him into a hug, Griffin holding him close for a moment before pulling back.

“Holy shit, you look good,” Griffin said.

“I feel good too,” Rush agreed, “I heard about the prison. Where is everyone?”

“At the Marina, they’re staying there while everything else gets situated.”

“And the Pen?”

“Burnt to the ground and won’t be used as another jail again.”

“Good job,” Rush patted him on the shoulder.

“So, what are we doing now?” Griffin asked.

“I was going to check on Selene, but next time you go out, I want to go with you.”

“You do?” Griffin said, pleasantly surprised, “but what about Prosperity?”

“Me and Kim got her built up for now, she should be fine until we get more resources, but I should be out there too, and my leg is better, I’ll be more useful now.”

“It’ll be good to have you,” Griffin said. He looked up and saw the Judge, back to him, looking out to the wastes behind Prosperity. He frowned, Rush turned to look where Griffin was looking.

“Isn’t that the peggie? I’m surprised they’re still sticking around. I would of thought they would of wanted to stay with their people.”

“Yeah,” Griffin said. The Judge was not at all happy to be stuck with Griffin still and they didn’t bother to not make it seem obvious. Maybe he should of talked about it with Ethan, but he has a very irked feeling that whatever advice Ethan would or won’t give him wouldn’t be good.

And the only person he knows he could unconditionally trust was standing next to him right now. 

“Can you keep a secret?” Griffin asked Rush.

“For you? Yes, of course,” Rush said, his eyebrows raising, “What is it?”

“There’s something about the Judge I need to talk to you about,” Griffin said, wondering how much he’s going to regret this decision, “let’s find somewhere quiet to talk.”

Rush looked surprised but he nodded his head. Griffin headed over to Nick’s garage, who was busy working on a car. He looked up when Griffin and Rush stepped in and stood up.

“Hey partner, what can I do for you?” He asked.

“Mind if we duck in here for a moment, I need to talk to Rush, privately,” Griffin said. Nick raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

“Alright, just don’t make a mess,” Nick said. He placed a wrench on the hood of the car and stepped out of the garage, closing the large door behind him. Griffin looked around, checking for any places where someone could hide.

“Griffin, what are you doing?” Rush asked.

“Making sure no one can hear us,” Griffin said.

“You’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?”

“I-I…Man, I fucked up,” Griffin said, stopping his search to look back at Rush. He looked even more surprised.

“You know all that stuff I told you about with the Deputy?”

“Yeah, I do,” Rush said, “I thought you said this has something to do with the Judge?”

“The Judge is the Deputy, and I pissed them off, big time” Griffin said, leaning against the car.

“Really, them?” Rush didn’t look convinced, “I mean, I can see why you would think so, but I thought the Deputy is some dead rebel hero. The Judge doesn’t seem anything like that, and it’s not like they can say so theirself, they’re mute, you said so yourself.”

“No, they’re not. They can talk, they just stay silent because they don’t want anyone to know who they really are,” Griffin explained, “they nearly tried to stab me when I told them I knew and they said some stuff about Joseph’s prophecies that, to be honest, scares the shit out of me.”

Rush took a deep breath and sighed.

“Okay, tell me then, what the hell happened between you two? How did you find this out?”

“Ethan kind of told me. I had to make the connection myself, but once I got them talking, it didn’t take long to piece everything together,” Griffin said, “they were… pissed that I found out, but I couldn’t sit on this forever, they should know that I know.”

“To me it sounds like you have the perfect piece of blackmail to use on them,” Rush said. Griffin gave him a horrified look.

“I’m not trying to threaten them!”

“All I’m saying is that it sounds like it when you phrase it like that,” Rush shrugged. Griffin rolled his eyes.

“Who would want to blackmail them, except for maybe Joseph or Ethan,” Griffin asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t know your friend as well as you do,” Rush said, “what else happened?”

“Well, we got into another argument before we attacked the Pen. I was trying to get some information on the place and they were being difficult, told me some stuff about something called conditioning but then made it seem like I was just trying to dig into their super secret past again, so I told them some stuff that they really didn’t like,” Griffin reached up and scratched the back of his head, avoiding looking at Rush.

“Like…?”

“I may have called them a coward,” Griffin said, “and that they’re overreacting when something I do or say upsets them. But most of it is true! Working with them is becoming more and more difficult, especially with this silent treatment they’ve been giving me! I don’t want to send them back to Joseph, but if they don’t stop being so fucking stubborn then we’re going to have major issues!”

Rush stared at him for a few more moments before he shook his head and sighed.

“Griffin, I care about you a lot, but you can be the biggest asshole sometimes.”

“What? You’re taking their side?” Griffin said, eyes widened in shock.

“Of course I am,” Rush said, “did you even listen to yourself when you gave me that explanation? They had a reason to be upset.”

“But it’s the truth!”

“Is it?” Rush asked, “Would you have liked it if Kim had said you did a horrible job after the Twins attacked us a month ago, or would you have liked it if I said you were an awful Security Captain because you didn’t get to me soon enough for me to not get my leg messed up?”

“But those were different,” Griffin insisted.

“How is anything you did on your own since we got here much different than what you both have accomplished together?”

“I- well, it is because- I,” But Griffin couldn’t come up with an explanation to defend himself, he never really could when he knows Rush is right. Whatever he said to the Judge that upset them, it may of been out of line. Rush seemed satisfied with his explanation but waited until Griffin finally gave a huge sigh.

“You’re right, you’re absolutely right,” Griffin said. Rush nodded.

“Good. Then you now know your next assignment,” Rush said, “fix whatever you and the Judge, or Deputy, or whatever, have going on and start getting along!”

“I want to, but I don’t know if they do,” Griffin said.

“You can’t fix it unless you try, Griffin,” Rush pointed out. That was true, Griffin knew that, but it was a huge task in on itself.

“I’ll try it,” Griffin finally said.

“Good,” Rush nodded in approval.

“There’s still the thing they said about Joseph’s prophecies. The Judge said he had one about them too, before they became the Judge.”

“Yeah, I tried talking to Kim about the vision stuff while you were gone. She said he thinks he can speak to God?”

“Or that God speaks to him, something like that. I don’t want to believe it but-“ Griffin paused.

“What is it?” Rush asked.

“The Judge said that whatever vision he had about them came true and whatever it was it cost them everything and that it’s going to happen to me too. I don’t want to join Joseph’s silent bodyguard service, Thomas.” Rush rolled his eyes.

“You’re going to be fine, man. What did he say, he saw you rebuild Hope County? That should be a good thing!” Rush said, waving his hand dismissively.

“I’m just worried that something horrible is going to happen because of Joseph’s ‘visions,’” Griffin said, “The peggies are so caught up in his prophecies, what if he does something that he thinks will make them come true?”

“If he does, I don’t see how he could do anything sinister enough to make you get rid of the Highwaymen,” Rush said, “nothing you will do in your free will, anyway. He said you’re going to fix the peggies problems, right? Outside of killing the Twins, what else could you do to fix everything wrong with Hope County at the moment?”

“Not much else. You’re right,” Griffin sighed, relieved, “thanks, man, I really needed to hear that.”

“Hey, you’re my friend. I got your back when you need it, and you’ll be needing me to be there with you now if Mickey and Lou are coming out of their hiding place to threaten you personally.”

“Yeah, I am,” Griffin smiled then stretched, “I gotta go find the Judge then. I guess. Go for a walk, maybe finally talk things out.”

“You already know what you’re going to say?”

“I think I got some idea,” Griffin said. He walked over to the garage door and reached down to the bottom, pushing the door back open again. Nick Rye was standing some yards away, talking to Grace Armstrong. He looked up when Griffin approached him.

“Done in there, partner?” Nick asked, shooting Grace a look.

“Yep. The garage is all yours. Later,” Griffin turned and walked away as Rush approached the group. Nick raised an eyebrow at Rush.

“What did you two do in there?” He asked. Rush gave him a curious look.

“Just talked, why?”

“It’s nothing,” Nick said. He and Grace made their way to the garage, Grace giving a laugh at something Nick said, leaving a confused Rush to stand alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very Rush and Griffin centric Chapter. I wanted to introduce that Rush is gonna be more involved with the story for now on. I really like their dynamic and this became one of my favorite chapters to write. The flashback takes place maybe a couple months after Joseph and Anna May left the bunker, I wanted both defining moments in this whole 17 year time skip since the Collapse to happen relatively close to each other.
> 
> Why was Rush and his group so far out east, who knows. I like to think that maybe they tried rebuilding the east then went to the West cause it’s easier. 
> 
> Don’t know what Nick thought they were doing ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Title for this is from Train by Brick and Mortar
> 
> I also got some good news! I made an official To Hope playlist that will constantly update with the songs each chapter is titled with! I’m now also including songs from my personal playlists for Griffin and Joseph with each chapter title. 
> 
> Give it a listen here: https://open.spotify.com/user/irxeg64mmu4pyfmn40z75pe2x/playlist/0ChBqevIp7KwPQUXHpSCY8?si=r70XwZQOTvalCzKHvn2E_Q


	15. Like Belief is in My Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Who can I run to?  
>  Who can I speak to?  
> How can I let you know   
> That I need you now?  
> I got nothing now  
> I got nothing now  
> I got nothing now_

“Out of any place in Hope County this is absolutely the worst place we could “hang out” at.”

Griffin sat down and swung his legs over the edge of the silo, letting them hang in the air. He and the Judge were at the Inquisitors Grave, a bunker that was now filled with water thanks to him and Selene. The silo was also incredibly isolated, located on the top of a hill far away from any other interesting structures, the perfect place for them both to hang out comfortably and alone.

But not comfortable enough for the Judge, apparently. They crossed their arms and, what Griffin could only assume, glared down at him. Griffin turned and leaned back against the short concrete wall next to him. He pulled his bag up to him and began to dig around in it.

“Sit down and relax. We both did good, we deserve a break,” Griffin found what he was looking for, a small portable stereo, and pressed a button on the side. The Judge instantly raised their hands to their head, covering their ears when music started to play from it.

“Alright, fine, just turn that off!” The Judge said loudly. Griffin pressed the button and, after another moment, the Judge lowered their hands again. They sat down where they were standing, legs crossed, only a couple of yards away from Griffin.

“I take it you’re not the most musically inclined person,” Griffin said, putting the stereo back in his bag.

“I gave you my reasons to why I don’t wish to listen to your music,” The Judge said.

“Oh… right,” Griffin said, “sorry about that.”

“Just tell me why we are here?” The Judge asked, sounding weary.

“It’s the most isolated place in Hope County,” Griffin waved a hand to the big hole beside him, “the closest interesting thing to us is Prosperity but this place looks like its been untouched for years, well, until me and Selene flooded it, but I found notes when I went exploring that the peggies were here before when the Collapse happened, I thought it would bring up good memories.”

“It does not,” The Judge said. They looked off to their right to the broken radio tower, just barely visible over the concrete slab that separated the silo to the small building where the bunkers true entrance is.

“... I buried John here,” They said after a pause. Griffin gave a low whistle.

“Oh, fuck, well, sorry about that. Fuck, if I knew that I wouldn’t of picked it-“

“You can make up for it by telling me why did you want to come here, with me, by ourselves,” the last part came out lower, sounding almost as close to a threat as the Judge could make it without being one. Griffin took that as his cue to stop dancing around their questions.

“We need to talk,” he said. The Judge tilted their head to the side.

“I thought after our last conversation we had nothing more to say about my past and my intentions,” the Judge said.

“I don’t care about that shit right now,” Griffin said, “I wanted to talk to you because we need to start getting along, none of this who is what bullshit we’ve been arguing about for the last few weeks.”

“Really?” The Judge asked, sounding unconvinced.

“Yeah, really,” Griffin said. He shifted in his spot a little, “You have been avoiding me since we took the Pet Pen and I couldn’t talk to you about it at the Marina.”

“With good reason,” the Judge sounded calmer than Griffin expected them to and so he continued to speak, taking their tone as a sign to continue.

“After that argument we had, yeah, you had a good reason to. I was pissed but I shouldn't of said any of that stuff to you, none of it is true. You have been a huge help and you saved my ass a couple of times and saying that you haven’t been contributing to anything was unfair. I’ve been unfair, but we need to put that all behind us and start actually working together again.”

“That is easier said than done,” The Judge said.

“Yeah, well, being in this county and running around solving everyone’s problems hasn’t been a walk in the park. Everything between us has been good until we got to the Island, I don’t want to throw all of that away because of some petty argument. I need to know what really is bothering you.”

“It’s because you know who I was,” the Judge said immediately.

“Why blame me though?”

“Because you don’t know when to leave things alone.”

Griffin wanted to make some snappish remark but he held his tongue and took a deep breath.

“Yeah, you’re right, but I wasn’t digging around trying to find some dirt on Joseph or anything like that. I had completely accepted the idea that you were dead until Ethan said what he said. After that, I was about to go chew out Joseph to find you, but I didn’t know you were the Deputy. I found that out by accident.”

“How?” The Judge asked. They had relaxed and were now leaning on their left arm, watching Griffin more still.

“I, uh, saw you and Nana, back at the crag,” Griffin said.

“You were spying on me?”

“Technically I was spying on Nana. I saw her go up to where you were hiding and just followed. I wasn’t expecting you to be up there at all.”

The Judge didn’t say anything. Griffin took another deep breath.

“In all honesty, knowing that you’re the Deputy is much better than what I originally thought Joseph did to you.”

“What Joseph did to me?” The Judge repeated.

“Yeah, like, I was gonna wait until all of this crazy stuff was done, but I was thinking I would of had to like, break you out of jail, like a prison breakout or something,“ Griffin said, “the guy is barely at New Eden when I need him, it made sense to me at the time.”

“Joseph would not do something like that,” The Judge said.

“And how was I supposed to know? Every conversation I’ve had with the guy has always been about what he expects me to do, never anything about himself. I don’t know him as well as you do, I can’t help but make assumptions based on what I’ve seen and what I’m told,” Griffin said. The Judge stayed silent, but after a moment of quiet where they sat and thought, they looked at Griffin and nodded.

“I understand,” The Judge said, and Griffin gave a sigh of relief.

“Does it help to say that I’ve also been feeling like shit after I said all of that horrible stuff to you back before when, well, you know?”

“Are you trying to apologize?”

“Yes. I am sorry for being not only an utter asshole to you, but for pissing you off at every conceivable moment whenever I talk about your traumatic past. Can you possibly forgive me?”

“No, I really can’t,” The Judge said, but Griffin could hear the humor in their voice. He rested his head back on the concrete slab, dramatically.

“Oh shame. Whatever shall I do,” he said, his voice coming out loud and full of sorrow. In the corner of his eye he can see the Judge shake their head at him.

“If this is all you wanted to do then shall we go?” The Judge made to get up but sat back down when Griffin waved an arm at them.

“Let’s sit for a bit. It’s a nice day out and we never get time to just sit and chat.”

“Sitting and talking is usually all we do,” The Judge pointed out.

“I mean about less upsetting things. Happier stuff, you know? Like, once this is all over what do you plan on doing?” Griffin reached back into his bag and pulled out a thermos, unscrewing the top and taking a sip of the coffee inside.

“I plan on going home and continue on with my duties. The Highwaymen’s attacks have damaged New Eden immensely and you and Joseph will need my help to rebuild.”

“I’ll have to get Rush then. Maybe that’s what we’ll do later, get the two of them to meet. When we get rid of the Highwaymen, Rush is going to want to rebuild quick-“

“No, it’s going to be you who will help us rebuild. You will be our leader,” the Judge said with conviction in their voice. Griffin shook his head at them, that strange uneasy feeling he gets every time Joseph’s visions are mentioned returning.

“Hey, you know that rebuilding and leading stuff isn’t what I do, I’m the fighter, the sword or whatever. That other stuff is all Rush,” Griffin shook his head.

“Not to the Father,” the Judge said, “he said-“

“Yeah, well maybe Joseph was wrong!” Griffin snapped. He flinched then shook his head again.

“Sorry, I just- I’m not the kind of guy who goes and fixes things that are broken. That’s all Rush,” Griffin repeated and took another sip of his coffee, giving a huff as he lowered the thermos again.

“...Is there something about Joseph’s vision that bothers you?” The gentleness in the Judge’s voice surprised Griffin. He shifted around uncomfortably before he finally spoke.

“Just to entertain the idea that maybe Joseph has a hotline to God, the idea of being some rebuilder of New Eden or whatever it is you all call me isn’t really me. I’ve never been good at fixing things, hell, I couldn’t fix my life in New York, I couldn’t fix the mess my life was in after the Collapse when all I was doing was getting into fight after fight in every town I went to. Anything I tried to make good usually ended up worse.”

“Then Rush came along and, I don’t know, there was just something about the guy that drew me in,” Griffin gave a chuckle, “he has a way of making you believe in something that seems impossible, you know? ‘Rebuild America,’ hell, he probably could have convinced people to try and build an elevator to the moon if that was his newest idea.”

The Judge was still watching him, their arms relaxed in their lap. Griffin took another drink and looked up at the sky, his head leaning uncomfortably on the concrete slab, but he still spoke.

“He made me want to be better because he gave me hope. The people he had working for him were from all sorts of backgrounds, yet they all united together to help Rush accomplish his dream, because they believe in him. He was the first person to show me that maybe people can change and become better, regardless of who they are and what they did.”

“Is that why you are still so willing to work with Joseph, despite everything you heard about him?” The Judge asked. Griffin lifted his head up to look at them and shrugged.

“A bit, yeah. He’s been nothing but kind to me and Carmina. I won’t deny he’s very unsettling to be around, and the stories I’ve heard bother me, but people say he has left Hope County well enough alone for seventeen years, so maybe the guy is telling some truth and, well-“ Griffin paused.

“Well what?” The Judge asked, tipping their head to the side, curiously.

“He kept you alive, didn’t he, considering you guys were enemies once?” Griffin asked. 

“The circumstances were not… ideal, for the both of us,” the Judge said. Griffin didn’t even have to wait to ask before they spoke again.

“I only survived the end of the world because of Joseph. We were just about to finally finish the whole ordeal with Eden’s Gate when the last seal broke and the bombs hit Hope County. Everyone who was there scattered, I ended up getting into the driver’s seat of a car with Sheriff Whitehorse next to me. Joseph was in the back with Deputy Hudson and Deputy Pratt, my friends who I had saved from Joseph’s family weeks before. I had another friend, Dutch, his bunker was the one where you found the Word. The bunker is close by to the old compound and he had us get to him as quick as we could.”

“Kim told me a little about them, except for the Dutch guy,” Griffin said. He suddenly didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“I was… really close to them,” the Judge was silent for a moment before they gave a shaky breath, “a tree fell on the car and Joseph and I were the only survivors. He brought me to the bunker and we stayed there for almost two years.”

“What about Dutch?” Griffin asked.

“Dead,” The Judge said. They didn’t elaborate and Griffin didn’t ask them to, he just nodded and stared off straight ahead until the Judge began to speak again.

“The years we spent underground were the worst years of my life. I spent every moment struggling with guilt and everything that had happened in the months prior. I was stuck underground with my worst enemy, someone who I had every right to hate as he did with me. I was at his mercy and he could of had me killed, but he did something much worse.”

“What did he do,” Griffin asked in a quiet voice. The world around him seemed to get quieter and quieter as the Judge spoke, as if the whole county itself has been waiting so long to hear this story.

“He forgave me,” the Judge said, “I had spent months fighting Joseph Seed because I thought it was the right thing to do, and he forgave me for it. After I murdered his siblings, after I destroyed their bunkers, after I ruined the Project, I was forgiven, as if nothing had happened. I hated him for it. I wanted him to hurt for what he did, and the fact that he felt it was me who needed to be forgiven caused me more pain than I could bear.”

“But I saw the truth, after some time. The harsh reality of what really happened almost drove me mad. I hated myself so much at that point. All I wanted to do was to somehow fix everything, erase the crimes I committed, do _something_ to atone, so I decided to follow Joseph, burn my past, and become his Judge.”

The Judge looked over to where the broken radio tower is.

“All I have been wanting to do is to do some good in what’s left with this world, to make up for what I’ve done, but what you all are doing, fighting the Highwaymen, it doesn’t involve me. I still care about everyone who I knew before the Collapse, even about the people I never met before like Nana and Selene, but I’m not trying to avoid everyone because I don’t want to fight, I do, but I can do my part away from Prosperity, where I can’t hurt anyone there ever again.”

“They all do miss you,” Griffin said. The Judge sighed.

“That’s because they don’t know the truth, if they did, they’ll wish you never brought me home.”

There was a very long pause where Griffin and the Judge didn’t say anything. Griffin finally gave a long whistle.

“Nana was right, you really do need a therapist,” he said.

“Ha Ha,” The Judge said sarcastically.

“That was some deep shit you just said.”

“My past isn’t something I’m fond of talking about.”

“Am I at least being therapeutic?”

“No, you’re being annoying.”

“Well, then maybe it’s a good thing I never tried to become a therapist,” Griffin said, and the Judge laughed. 

“Is that what you meant by Joseph’s prophecies costing you everything,” he said.

“All because I never listened to him,” the Judge said, nodding, “I didn’t believe in his visions, how could I after seeing what the family was doing to my home? I never gave a thought that he was right, and because of that, everyone suffered for it. But you,” the Judge lifted a hand to point briefly at Griffin, “you can be different, I know it. You just have to listen to him, that is all. Do what he says and you won’t suffer for your sins like I did.”

He didn’t say anything. Truth be told, he doesn’t know how convinced he is that Joseph May have some super special power to predict other people’s futures. It’s far fetched and sounds stupid, and everything the Judge described sounds more like a coincidence than a prophecy. But the Judge held Joseph on such a high regard, he knew if he told them how he really felt it won’t go well. Griffin, instead, shook the thermos a little bit before he took another sip.

“Did you ever forgive him?” Griffin asked.

“Forgive Joseph?” the Judge asked. Griffin nodded.

“He doesn’t need forgiveness.”

“Are you sure? I know he’s right about the world ending and all, but the stuff you went through, even you don’t deserve it, no matter what you did, and he shouldn’t of hurt you like he has. Have you forgiven him?”

“I… I don’t know,” The Judge finally said. They rested their head on one hand, their elbow on the knee. Griffin felt the same bit of pity he felt back at the Pen, but he swallowed it down, knowing the last thing the Judge would want is for him to feel sorry for them.

“Thanks for telling me about this stuff,” he said, “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Do you really?” The Judge said. Griffin nodded.

“I don’t understand why, but I know it’s a big deal to you. Despite everything that’s happened between us, I haven’t stopped seeing you as a friend, and I’m not going to do something as horrible as forcing you to tell everyone the truth, regardless of how I feel about you hiding it. When you’re ready to talk to everyone, even if that never happens, that’s your decision, but I’ll have your back, regardless of what happens.”

“That’s rather sweet of you,” the Judge said, sounding surprised.

“It’s almost as if I can sometimes be a nice guy,” Griffin said sarcastically.

“And now you’re back to being a dick again.”

Griffin laughed, then raised the thermos into a toast.

“So, to us finally getting along and to us kicking the Twins asses out of Hope County, for good?”

The Judge nodded. Griffin took a long drink from the thermos, emptying the metal container before putting it back in his bag.

“Then let's go home.”

———————

Joseph stood still, head bowed, by the fallen down radio tower. Anna May stood a couple feet back, feeling like an intruder in Joseph’s short moment of mourning.

With the Veterans Center a bust and Jacob’s bunker inaccessible, Joseph and Anna May had to make a new plan. Joseph already had a new idea the next morning when she woke up, her arm now properly fitted with a splint. 

Joseph was sitting not far where she was sleeping, carving away at something. He decided that they will go to John’s bunker next. It was farther away from them than Faith’s Gate was, but Joseph was insistent on going there first, saying the journey will give both of them a better idea on how much damage had exactly been inflicted by the Collapse in Hope County.

That was fine with Anna May, who agreed to Joseph’s plan without any objection. Her uncertainty that the peggies have made it to bunkers was still there, as well as the fear that John’s too may have been taken over by the Bliss cloud that covered the north, but she couldn’t lose faith now, besides, what other choice did they have?

So they walked, taking a couple days to reach the ruined desert that was once Holland Valley, but the scenery there was not as bleak as it was up north. Maybe it was because the soil was still fertile, even after the bombs, or maybe John and the peggies had managed to get enough of the Bliss fed fertilizer into the ground, one thing was certain, life had already started blooming in Holland Valley. A couple of plants poked sparsely through the ground and Anna May and Joseph both saw animals running through the growing desert. 

At the end of their first day there, Joseph finally gave Anna May what he was working on that morning in the Veterans Center, a wooden mask, painted white, with two eye holes carved into it. Anna May had thanked him profusely, pulling the mask on, hood still over her head. It was exactly what she wanted.

That day they made it to the path that led to John’s bunker, taking the long hike through the broken trees until they reached the collapsed fence that surrounded the concrete building. Anna May stopped Joseph and got his attention.

“Follow me,” she said to him. Curious, Joseph had followed her until they reached a broken radio tower. Anna May pointed to a spot on the ground, not even needing to speak a word. Joseph looked down then nodded at Anna May, knowing exactly what she was showing him. 

John’s grave was covered with more flowers than the plant filled areas in Holland Valley were. Anna May couldn’t describe what she was feeling when she saw the now pretty plot, but she hoped that it meant something good that this was what John Seed’s grave had become.

Joseph had went towards the silo after Anna May showed him the grave, she followed after him and they looked down into the blackened hole in the ground where Joseph, once again, called out for his children. They didn’t have to wait long before a tired looking figure came to the entrance of one doorway, looking up in shock. He began to call for more peggies and soon there was a crowd of people standing in the silo’s entrances, looking up at Anna May and the Father.

They were now getting ready to emerge from the silo, making their way up to the entrance of the partially buried building while Anna May and Joseph waited for them. Anna May grew nervous the more time past but she couldn’t say anything now, she had made her choice.

The first few peggies began to climb out of the hatch on top of the concrete building. The woman on top started to help more people out, men, women, and even children, who looked around at the slowly healing world in both shock and wonder. The woman saw Joseph and Anna May and pointed them out to the growing crowd. Carefully, the peggies started to climb down, making their way towards Joseph.

“Father, where have you been?” The woman who had first emerged asked. She seemed to be in charge of this group, all the other peggies backing a little farther away from where she stood. There was something familiar about her, Anna May swore she might have seen her before, but she just didn’t know where. Joseph smiled at the woman.

“I have been away from you all for too long, Marin. My family,” he said. He began to step forward, leaving Anna May to walk into the crowd of people. They parted out of his way, a few peggies reaching out to touch Joseph as he passed them by.

“We have all suffered,” he continued, “we have all sacrificed so much, but the vision God has showed me many years ago has finally come true. The Collapse has come, and with it, God has burned away all the sin from the Old World.”

The peggies began to speak among themselves, but they quickly hushed their voices as Joseph began to leave the crowd, walking to stand where he had stood earlier next to John’s grave. Marin stepped forward and gave Anna May a look before she spoke with a look of confusion on her face.

“What will we do now then, Father? Brother John’s silo is barely operable, and we have not heard from any of the rest of our family who has made it to the other bunkers that lay around Eden. We have sick people and young children, and it seems to grow colder with each week. What will we do?”

“We will need to find the strength to move forward, and the only way for us to do that is to let go of what we have lost. The Old World is dead!” Joseph was now speaking to the peggies that have slowly moved closer, “We are God’s Chosen! We have survived every one of his trials and have emerged as pure as the world was when it was first new!”

“When we thought everything was lost, when the sinners attacked our homes, we remained strong, because we had faith, faith in God and in his plan. For it, we have been rewarded, but we must stay strong for a while longer, my children. Rome was not built in a day, and we still have a way to go before New Eden becomes the paradise we have been waiting for.”

“How will we do it?” The woman asked. More voices asked with her, the peggies listening wanting answers from Joseph, waiting for them desperately.

“We will rebuild,” Joseph answered, “we will start again, create farms, start a new society. A new home that only knows nothing but love and peace. We will learn to survive off the land, to only take what we need, and live the way we were suppose to since the beginning.”

The woman nodded but shuffled her feet. The peggies around her were muttering to themselves. One in the crowd yelled out to Joseph.

“What about the sinner, the Deputy? What happened to her?”

Joseph froze and looked at Anna May, staring at her for a long time. Anna May suddenly realized just how many eyes were pointing at them, every peggie waiting for Joseph to respond. She became highly aware of her still aching leg, her broken arm, how if Joseph decided to tell the peggies who she is now, in her current condition, she won’t be able to get away very far-

Joseph didn’t look at her much longer before he took his backpack off his back. Everyone watched as he slowly unzipped it and reached inside, pulling out the Rookie Deputy Jacket, the very one she had given him. He raised it up in the air for the peggies to see.

“Dead, just like the Old World,” Joseph said, “she couldn’t survive God’s judgement and for that she has paid the ultimate price for it. Her Pride tore her apart and, in the end, she suffered greatly for it. She is as dead as the corrupted, the selfish, and the vain, and now is nothing more but a distant memory. Many sinners have ended up like her because, unlike us, they didn’t have faith. None of them were worthy.”

Joseph turned to Anna May.

“Here, however, is one such person who has proven themself, who has shown their dedication to not just me but to God. They have promised to burn away the sin that’s still left on this Earth, giving out God's own judgement on the nonbelievers that may threaten our new home. They are my Judge and they will keep Eden free from sin for as long as they are breathing.”

“And you, my dear family,” Joseph continued, “are you ready to leave this dark place and follow me into our new future?”

“Yes!” The peggies cries out.

“Are you ready to let go of your past, to abandon all that you once were, to recreate yourself in the way God wanted us to be?”

“Yes!” The peggies voices grew louder.

“Then let us go! We will help our weak, our sick, our children, and leave no man, woman, or child behind. We were all Chosen and now we will all move forward onto the righteous path God has laid out for us to our New Eden!”

The peggies began to cheer and Joseph, once again, walked into the crowd, each person calling out to the Father as he walked. The Judge stood and watched before following after him, silent and unnoticed, just like Joseph’s own shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, I was gonna have a John’s grave visiting scene saved for the very end of this fic originally but decided to change it for something else, since going to the Inquisitor’s Grave is a perfect place to introduce this particular flash back.
> 
> Chapter title is from Staying Gold by Brick and Mortar! (It’s also the song I most heavily relate Anna May too, so best time to use it for SOMETHING)


	16. Better Get While the Gettin’s Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Catch a ride to the end of the highway  
>  And we'll meet by the big red tree,  
> There's a place up ahead and I'm goin'  
> Come along, come along with me_

“-so we had to leave the car behind. We got the fuck out of there and watched it blow up to shit car heaven. Anyway, this lady said she knew you and now, look at that, we can go and save my woman!”

“We can go and do what now?” Griffin asked as he and the Judge entered the bar. They had left the Inquisitor’s Grave and decided to head to Roughneck Crag before night fell, the Judge just didn’t realize that they would be running into another very familiar face there.

“Hey-Hey, don’t I recognize you from somewhere?” Hurk Drubman Jr. stood up from his seat and pointed in Griffin and the Judge’s direction. In the seat in front of him sat Sharky, without Blade, Rush in a chair at his side, and Nana standing nearby, who gave the duo a wave when they first walked in.

“I don’t… think so?” Griffin said, shooting the Judge a confused look.

“I do, I recognize you! It’s like-like some Groundhog Day shit, man, where we’re forced into some constant, hilarious, never ending cycle where we team up with each other for another crazy adventure full of hijinks in which we never see an end to. We’ve done this rodeo before, amigo.”

The Judge had started to take a couple of steps back, their mind racing. Did Hurk find out who they are? How would Hurk out of everyone figure out their secret? The Judge already has to deal with one idiot being in on it, they don’t need two-

“Uh, are you talking about me or…?” Griffin asked, obviously confused.

“I’m talking about _you_ , amigo!” Hurk said, lifting his hands up at the Captain. The Judge relaxed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, who exactly are you?” Griffin asked.

“Hurk, just Hurk. You may have heard of me from all of my seriously badass adventures around the world, one which involves me evading capture on the back of an elephant while running from the army, or from a divine message that was bestowed upon you, my dude, by the glorious and all too incredibly awesome Monkey God. I am that Hurk.”

“The only thing I know about you is that you left your kid with this one at a bomb rigged water plant,” Griffin waved a hand in Sharky’s direction, frowning at Hurk. Sharky laughed.

“Yeah, my cousins already told me all about how you guys and Blade went on a killing spree that I totally missed out on, but it’s cool, I’m not upset or anything, but I’ve got this whole revenge quest thing going on and, well, I can’t bring Blade with me, it’s just too dangerous for the little man. Sharky’s been doing good on his own when you showed up but he didn’t tell me you were traveling with Jason Voorhees.” 

“That’s the peggie I was talking about, Hurky,” Sharky said.

“Oh, that's fine, man. Uh, hey, they’re not going to, you know, stab me while I’m sleeping or something, right? It’s just that the masks freaks me out a little and, you know, I got a kid-“

“The Judge is harmless,” Griffin said, “or well, uh- Blades safe around them.”

“Ok, that’s cool, that’s cool dude. Anyway, me and Sharky, the Rush man, and the lady got a plan we’re about to throw down, if you want to join in on this party,” Hurk sat back down again, placing his hands, clamped together, right in front of him.

“Plan for what?” Griffin and the Judge walked closer.

“To save my girl, Gina, from the Highwaymen’s Prison Run of course!” Hurk said, “those Twins took everything from me, my sweet ass ride, the woman of my dreams, me and the cousin’s distillery, they even tried to steal my baby! Well you know what I say, no fucking more is what. The Twins want to fuck with me and so I’m gonna go fuck with them is what I’m going to do. Me and the lady over there already took my car back-“

“Just call me Nana, dear,” Nana piped up.

“-but I said “screw the car” it’s too slow! So we blew it up and all nostalgia that came with it, it was really easy too since it already was rigged to explode anyways so I didn’t have to use this-“ and at that Hurk lifted up a rocket launcher that both the Judge and Griffin didn’t notice he had sitting next to him. They both ducked.

“Watch it!” Griffin yelped. Hurk lowered it back down.

“Sorry about that, amigos! Anyway, my not-as-sweet-as-I-originally-thought-it-was ride is gone so now I’m on step two of my revenge quest, which involves saving Gina from the Twins death game.”

“Yeah, the Prison Run is just a huge death trap the Highwaymen use to kill of their prisoners for entertainment, it’s pretty fucked up, bros,” Sharky said, “they go and promise that they’ll let the winner walk free, but they just end up killing everybody. Brutal.”

“So I take it we’re going to go in and save Gina?” Griffin asked.

“Hell yeah man, I knew you were smart!” Hurk said, “Listen, you help me and I can help you, big time! Me and Sharky got plenty of stuff we can give you in return, we got weapons, booze, pornography-”

 

“OK, thank you, but I don’t need any of that,” Griffin said loudly. Hurk clapped his hands.

“Aw, thanks man! You’re a fucking life saver! You and me, we’re going to be good friends, I just know it. Hell, me and Sharky could put you in on our sweet ass distillery business we had going on, make us a trio of partners in making the best shit in Hope County, and I guess you can bring the peggie too,” Hurk pointed at the Judge. Under the mask, the Judge gave a small smile. Damn, they forgot how much they enjoyed Hurks rambling.

“That sounds great,” Griffin said. The Judge noticed his voice came out strained, it almost made them want to chuckle. The Captain was the last person they expected would of been annoyed with Hurk and his antics.

“We plan on leaving tomorrow,” Rush said, giving Griffin a look, “you got everything you need taken care of done?”

“Yeah, man. It’s all good now,” Griffin said. The Judge tilted their head to the side. What were they talking about?

“Then let’s get some shut eyes then! The game starts tomorrow night and Gina isn’t going to last long if we don’t get there to help her.”

“Okay, then let’s get some rest,” Rush stood up and stretched, waving Griffin over to him. The two walked off and started to talk, their voices fading as they left the bar. Hurk and Sharky were still talking to each other but Nana had gotten off of her spot by the wall and walked up to the Judge, putting a hand on their arm.

“It’s good to see you again, dear,” she said. The Judge gave a grunt and she smiled, an all too knowing smile.

“I take it your not usually the talking type. Walk with me,” she said. The Judge nodded and followed her out the way they and Griffin had first came in from. Outside, they walked around the building, heading to a campfire. Rush and Griffin were nowhere to be seen.

“Now don’t think that I asked you to come with me cause I need your help moving around or anything of the like,” Nana said. The Judge shook their head.

“Good, I may be old, but I’ve been kicking on this planet way longer than you have been, kiddo,” they had reached the fire and she sat down, the Judge sitting nearby her. The Judge liked the old woman, there was something about her that felt familiar but they’re not so sure they had ever met Nana before the Collapse. 

“You know, I like that you don’t talk much,” Nana continued, “most folks around here talk to much about depressing things. Highwaymen this, peggies that, for once it’s nice to be around someone who just knows how to sit and listen.”

The Judge gave a nod then picked up a nearby stick, poking at the logs in the fire before throwing the stick into it. Nana watched them do this then spoke.

“How have you been feeling?” Nana asked, “You didn’t leave on a good note last time we saw each other.”

No, they really didn’t. The Judge couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by their last meeting, for dropping their problems in the hands of the old woman. She didn’t understand what was going on, and unless the Judge decided to reveal their true identity to her, then she never will.

Even now they were not sure how exactly they were doing. Their conversation with the Captain has put them in a place, mentally, that they couldn’t find the words to describe. The anger and fear they’ve been feeling for the past week has slowly ebbed away until is was a dull, easily avoidable feeling they could ignore. But what took its place was something else entirely.

Griffin had asked if they had forgiven Joseph and the Judge didn’t know how to answer it, and the fact that they can’t even give him a proper answer was upsetting. They have never considered, in the years since the Judge first decided to follow Joseph, that he needed any forgiveness, they just simply accepted the truth, nothing else mattered to them at the time accept atonement.

But even so, the truth Joseph gave them wasn’t the full one. He had hurt them, he had hurt Hope County, hell, even his siblings were harmed by him in ways the Judge didn’t fully understand until after their deaths.

Joseph Seed use to be a monster and he has changed for the better, but whether or not that means the Judge forgives him… they don’t know, and that scared them more than anything else, because if they didn’t, what does that say about them? How does it validate everything they have given up, for them to make up to what they did to him? Has it been tying them to the past, making them obsessed with an imaginary concept and just holding them back? If they are still angry at Joseph, then have they really atone, or was that just a lie they keep telling themselves to make them feel better. 

The Judge realized that Nana was expecting them to do something, so they shrugged, gaining a nod from the old woman.

“Well, don’t think I wasn’t serious when I gave you my offer. Anytime you need to talk, I’ll keep an open ear, just do me a favor and keep an eye out on the Captain for me, will you? He’s a good kid, but a bit too headstrong and not a very good listener.”

The Judge gave another nod and Nana stood up.

“I’m going to hit the hay then, kiddo. We’re going to need all the luck tomorrow if we’re doing some gimmick Sharky and Hurk came up with.”

Nana had started to walk away, leaving the Judge at the campfire, alone. They stayed there for a while, keeping warm, until the fire started to die down.   
\-----------

It was late the next afternoon but they were nearing the derby in good time. The Judge sat in a sidecar of the motorbike Griffin was driving, gripping the edges of the small cart for dear life. They don't know what they hated worse, this, or cars. Sitting in the sidecar was humiliating and uncomfortable, making the Judge smaller and more squashed. 

Griffin shot them a few looks as they approached the old gas station located across from where the Highwaymen had made their derby. A large statue of a bull was half sunk in the sand, it’s head facing directly towards the setting sun. The car in front of them, where Hurk, Rush, Sharky, and Nana were, was already parked by the partially collapsed building. Rush was out of the car by the time Griffin got the bike up to the station. The Judge immediately pried their self out of the car, tripping and falling on the ground as they did so.

“Alright there?” Sharky called down to them. The Judge grunted, putting a hand to their face, making sure their mask was still on and covering it as they stood up.

“Ok amigos, so here’s the plan!” Hurk had gotten out of the car and jogged up to Rush and Griffin. Nana, the Judge, and Sharky walked up to the group and they stood in a small circle.

“So, the runs set to start after sundown, which is a perfect time for us if I may add, cause that gives us the element of surprise! So, what I was thinking is, the lady and the peggie, they go up to the rafters all sneaky like and take down the snipers, cause the Highwaymen’s got them to take out the survivors, then me, the Captain, my cousin, and Rush all go running in, all sexy and Indiana Jones like, and start fucking their shit up!”

“That’s your plan?” Griffin shot Rush an exasperated look who shrugged.

“We could improve it a little,” he said.

“Nah man, the plans perfect! Just gotta have a little faith, amigo.”

“I like it. I’m in.”

A voice caused the group to turn to face Jess Black, who had snuck up on the group. She wasn’t dressed in the same rags the Highwaymen have given her before. She had her hair tied in a loose ponytail behind her and wore a jacket that seemed a couple sizes too large for her over a red flannel. A bow was in her hand, a quiver full of arrows on her back. 

Rush raised a gun but the Judge grabbed it at the top, pushing it down as they shook their head at Rush.

“Holy shit, Jess! Holy shit man, I haven’t seen you in forever. I thought the Highwaymen had got you forever ago. Oh man, this week just keeps getting better and better,” Hurk had made a move forward to hug Jess but she shot him a look that caused him to stop.

“Alright, Alright, I get it, you like your space, I get it,” he stepped back to stand next to Sharky. 

“Shouldn’t you be back at the Marina?” Griffin asked, “How did you find us?”

Jess snorted.

“I was in the area and saw you turn into here,” Jess explained, “and sitting around and making ‘plans’ isn’t my thing. I prefer to be out here doing the killing.”

“Yeah but you’ve also been locked up for months, are you sure you’re ready to be going into another fight again?” Griffin gave her a concerned look.

“Please, I don’t need a pity party. I’m fine, and you’re going to need my help if you plan on doing what you’re doing,” Jess crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Griffin. He sighed.

“I guess I can’t really tell you not to come with us then,” Griffin said, “Fine.”

“It’s settled, you can help Nana then. If Hurk is right about the snipers then we’ll need to take them out,” Rush said, “Me, the Captain, and the Judge will go one end of the derby, You four the other. We should be able to cover more ground that way.”

“We have to take down the other drivers too,” Sharky said, “they’ll be trying to kill her just as hard.”

“Yeah, And them too,” Griffin pulled out his own rifle, a red, rusty thing he was given at the crag. 

“What if the Twins are there?” Griffin asked.

“We kill them. Consider it two birds with one stone,” Rush replied.

The group stayed at the ruined gas station, hanging around the old bull statue and talking, until the sun began to set behind the mountains. At one point, the group had to hide as a very large convoy of vehicles passed by the gas station and into the derby, signaling that it was just about time to go.

Rush gathered everyone together and gestured for them to follow him.

“Let’s go,” he said. The Judge followed Griffin as the group began to move towards the distant race track. The Judge them self have never personally seen the track, their duties to New Eden kept them much closer to home that they never got to see what the Highwaymen did with the old structures that still stood this far out east. The Judge couldn’t even remember what the derby use to be. The thought saddened them.

The Judge stuck with Griffin, who was following Rush, as Nana, Jess, Hurk, and Sharky split off to the opposite side of the race track. Griffin climbed up a ladder, the Judge following behind him, and got to the top as Griffin made quick work of the Highwaymen who was guarding the place. The Judge crept forward to the edge of the watchtower and looked down at the dirt track below.

Multiple vehicles were on the track, from large cars to small motor bikes. The riders all look different from each other, from people in orange jumpsuits and rags to others dressed like the Highwaymen. Griffin’s radio crackled and he pulled it up, flicking the switch on it.

“Hey, amigo, can you see us from there? Good, anyway, that car in the middle, the big one, that’s Gina,” Hurk’s voice came through and the Judge looked at the car he was pointing out.

They could see the ex-Highwaywoman. She looked mean, her eyes were narrowed, focused on the car in front of her, dressed like the other Highwaymen who were on the track with her. She had large belts of ammunition on her, but the Judge had a good feeling she didn’t have a weapon to fill them with.

“Anyway, I’d appreciate it if y’all just don’t shoot her, cause, she’ll be mad if you do-“

The speakers above crackled and the Judge jumped. They felt their heartbeat quicken as a voice began to speak.

“Alright you asshats, you know the rules! Last man standing wins and gets a second chance, everyone else dies! Are you ready? Then let’s go!” A man yelled through the speakers, and the cars were off, speeding down the road as they began to drive. 

The Judge pulled out an arrow and placed it in their bow, pulling back the street and aiming at the road below, waiting. Rush and Griffin has pulled out their rifles and were waiting too.

A bike appeared and the Judge aimed then let go of their arrow. It buried itself in the driver’s knee, the man screeching in pain before his bike wobbled and fell over. The prisoner didn’t even have time to get up before the rest of the cars were on him. His bike caused another, smaller car to get stuck, and the other vehicles had to swerve to miss it. The man, however, was not so lucky, as the rest of the vehicles drove by, from their perch, the Judge could see pieces of him spread out through the dirt.

“Fucking brutal,” Griffin muttered. He took a shot at the smaller car, breaking its windshield. The man inside jumped out and looked around, before a shot from Rush knocked him down.

“Ohhhhh, there goes two!” The announcer said. The Judge looked around, but couldn’t even see a crowd. Who the hell was he talking to?

The Judge didn’t bother to look as more cars appeared again. One of them was repeatedly slamming into Gina’s car, trying to knock her off the track. The Judge aimed an arrow at the driver’s window and missed, the arrow bouncing off harmlessly at the cars side. Frustrated, they grabbed another arrow as Rush’s shot broke the man’s window, the shattering glass distracting him from Gina for a moment, who sped up to escape the driver.

“Hey, what’s going on?” The announcer said, “hey- Wait, those are not our guys! You can’t do this!”

A loud explosion was his response and Griffin groaned.

“Hurk is going to kill his girlfriend with that thing,” he said as yet another explosion went off. The Judge looked around and noticed more Highwaymen appearing at watchposts around them, their guns aimed towards their direction.

The Judge ducked, grabbing Griffin and pulling him down as bullets flew over their heads. The Judge heard familiar yelling and looked up, seeing one Highwaywoman go down as Nana shot her, her laughter loud enough to be heard by the Judge in almost the other side of the derby.

The Judge looked back down to the track. The other drivers seem to be figuring out what’s going on. They spotted Gina, who looked over at the Judge, before putting her eyes back on the road, speeding up as the other cars followed behind her.

“When the hell does this thing end!?” Griffin said, and shot one of the other cars tires.

“Don’t worry boys, we’re sending in the big one to take them all out!” The announcer yelled. The Judge didn’t know what he was talking about until they heard an engine revving. 

A large trailer truck came into the arena, the front end was equipped with a plow, similar to the kind put on trains. Highwaymen hung onto the back of the truck, guns out, as they began to shoot upwards at the Judge’s direction.

“We’re going to have to move!” Rush yelled, and he stood up, jumping over the rail onto the track.

“Thomas- god damn it!” Griffin yelled, “come on!” He said to the Judge, and jumped in after him. The Judge followed, but they didn’t know what to do, their bow was useless against that machine.

The Highwaymen on the truck were currently distracted by the driver’s that started to past them. The car moved forward and soon overtook a small car that was driving ahead of them, partially crushing the car before it exploded, the truck pushing the ruined vehicle to the side before chasing after its next victim.

The Judge spotted another ladder and waved at Griffin, getting his and Rush’s attention. They pointed at it and the two men nodded. They began to run as the cars started to pass them. The Judge narrowly avoided being hit by the last bike still being driven in the match, the rider yelling angrily at them as she passed. 

They made it to the ladder and began to climb, making it to the top and turning to help Griffin up. Rush followed him and the Judge looked around at their surroundings.

They were on another watchplace, but this time, a bridge connected their spot to one across the derby. Hurk, Sharky, Nana, and Jess were all already there, each of them shooting at the driver’s below. Griffin made his way to them, the Judge and Rush following behind.

“Oh man, oh Bros this doesn’t look too good,” Hurk said nervously, looking down at the race below. Many more cars were being destroyed by the Highwaymen’s truck and although Gina was still managing to keep ahead of the crowd, the machine was slowly catching up to her, eating through each vehicle that separated it from her.

“We got to take out the driver,” Griffin said.

“I can do that,” Hurk said, raising the RPG again, but lowering it back down when Nana places a hand on top of it, shaking her head and quietly saying ‘no’ to him.

“Unless we can get Gina to abandon her car, she’s stuck there,” Rush said, watching the race below, “if she gets out now she’ll be killed by the men they have in the back.”

“So we kill them all and yell at her to get the fuck out, easy,” Jess reaches out and grabbed at the Judge’s sleeve, pulling it, “Hey, masked marauder, get your ass into gear and help me with this.”

The two of them got to the bridge to a point where they were standing above one side of the track. The cars were driving quickly below them, speeding ahead in the wake of the monster vehicle behind them. Jess raised her bow and aimed, letting the arrow loose.

The Judge didn’t stay to see if she had made her target. They moved to the other side of the bridge and aimed at the ground, waiting. After another moment, the truck moved under them and the Judge let go of the arrow. They watched the truck move forward, a Highwayman was cursing at the arrow he now had dug in his foot, but they all were still standing.

The Judge gave another frustrated huff as they heard footsteps behind them. They turned to see Rush, Griffin, and Nana race past them, heading to the opposite side of the bridge to where the truck was turning to drive under them next.

“Hey, me and the cousin got your rears from here!” The Judge could hear Hurk call. He and Sharky were at one end of the bridge, keeping an eye out for more approaching Highwaymen.

The Judge focused on the road in front of them and the truck passed under them again. The Judge pulled an arrow out, but cursed under their breath when it began to turn out of view. At least the back looked a little emptier…

The truck made another pass before the Highwaymen in the back got the idea to shoot up at the Judge and the rest of the Scavenger’s direction. They ducked as a rain of bullets from the last three surviving Highwaymen, minus the driver, came at them, only raising their head when the sound stopped.

Gina was still driving but even with everyone’s efforts the truck was still gaining speed, leaving only one other car besides Gina’s still on the road. 

The Judge aimed and shot another arrow at the now passing truck, but was surprised to see no one on the back of it. They turned and saw Griffin and Jess, each peering down at the race below. An explosion went off on their right and Gina became the last racer left alive.

“We have to get her out of there, now!” Rush yelled. Hurk ran over to the edge of the bridge and began waving his hands wildly in the air.

“Hey! Gina! Gina, get out of the car!” He yelled as he waved. Gina glared up at him as she passed underneath the bridge.

“What the fuck is she doing?!” Rush hissed, looking out at the disappearing car, “is she trying to get herself killed?”

“Do you think she heard me?” Hurk asked, “or, wait- she’s not trying to win the race, is she?”

“That’s impossible,” Sharky said, but he looked down at the track as Gina and the other driver passed under them again, “or, you know what, knowing her…”

“We can’t sit around all day and speculate whatever the hell shes doing, we gotta stop that driver!” Jess yelled.

“But _how_?” Griffin asked. The Judge looked back in the ring again as Gina turned the corner back to the bridge. The truck was dangerously close to her car and slowly gaining speed.

“Do you have any ideas?” Griffin hissed at the Judge. They looked over at him, who had leaned in close, taking glances at the people behind him. They notice Rush quickly looking away from them but got distracted by the Captain pulling on their sleeve.

If they can’t get Gina out of her car then they had to get the other driver to stop his, how they were going to do that without getting on the truck, however, was the hard part.

Then the Judge got an idea. A crazy, stupid, idea.

“I have a plan,” the Judge said, keeping their voice low, “but it’s probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

“What is it?” Griffin asked, but the Judge didn’t reply. The Judge climbed over the railing of the bridge, gripping the grate for dear life, watching Gina and the truck turn into view.

“What the hell are you doing?” Griffin yelped. He got everyone else’s attention but nobody could reach the Judge before they jumped.

Everything was moving in slow motion. Gina’s vehicle passed under the Judge slowly, then the front of the truck, then the Judge landed, sliding backwards towards the rear end of the vehicle. They legs fell over the edge and the Judge had to quickly scoot themself backwards to avoid falling off.

After a moment where the Judge sat to catch their breath, they turned around and began to slowly crawl towards where the driver was at. The Judge could feel the truck turn under them and they grabbed onto the smooth floor for dear life, hoping to not slide off. They were breathing heavy, their heart racing, fear gripping at them like a cold claw, but they continued moving, forcing themself to focus on getting to the driver.

A small barred window was in the way of the back and the Judge realized, with a sinking feeling, that they’ll have to climb to the driver’s seat. They grabbed onto the back of the truck, pulling themself in a standing position.

Above them, the Judge could see Griffin and the others as they passed under him again. The were all watching the Judge. Nana was aiming down at the vehicle, taking some shots at the wheels, but the Highwaymen had covered those, making it impossible to shoot them from where they were standing.

The Judge inched over the side of the car and looked over. They could see the door close enough, and further ahead, Gina’s approaching car. The Judge could also see the driver, who took a glance, then a double take when he saw the Judge peeking around. They could see him mouth “what the…?” Then he grit his teeth.

The truck started to sway quickly from left to right as the driver tried to shake the Judge off. They clung onto the back of the truck for dear life, facing away from the quickly moving ground beside them. This continued on for sometime, in which Gina was able to move farther ahead away from the Highwayman, and, after another turn, the Judge chanced another peek, this time the driver focused too much on Gina’s car ahead to notice that the Judge was still on.

The Judge began to move forward, inching ever so slowly on the side of the truck. The driver didn’t look at his mirror, his eyes were staring straight ahead, hardly blinking.

They were almost at the door. Yells from above encouraged them on, but the Judge was barely hanging on. Their heart was moving a mile a minute, almost about to burst out of their chest, and every movement was being threatened to be taken over by fear, screaming at them to get off. The Judge could almost see the flames around them now, leaping at them as they drove through the woods-

The Judge grabbed the handle of the truck and, with a scream, yanked the door open. The driver yelled as the Judge grabbed him, both pulling at each other until the Judge gave a strong yank and the driver fell out of the truck with them. The idiot didn’t even put on a seatbelt.

The Highwayman and the Judge rolled on the ground as the truck moved forward and ran into the derby walls, scraping against the side of it with a loud screech as it was forced to turn with the curved walls. 

The Judge stopped rolling and scrambled up to their feet, but the man had stood up with them.

“You’re a fucking dead man!” He roared, pulling out a gun. The Judge froze, unsure what to do-

The man screamed as a car hit him. Gina, who had noticed the Judge on the side of the truck, had turned the car around the moment she saw them pull open the driver’s door. She had proceeded to hit the Highwayman with her car, launching him into the derby’s wall where he lay, unmoving.

Gina circled around the track once more as Griffin and the others climbed down the ladder and to the Judge. Hurk was barely standing still, jumping up and down every so often from excitement. However, Gina did not look happy when she parked the car next to them and got out, stalking up to Hurk with a grim look on her face and proceeded to punch him in the shoulder.

“Ow! Hey, come on, babe-“

“I can’t fuckin BELIEVE you!” She yelled at him. Hurk took a couple steps back and tried to hide behind Sharky, but Sharky started to scoot away from Hurk, not wanting to get in Gina’s way.

“I wanted to fuckin _win_ that race! I was gonna _win_ it and shove it into Mickey and Lou’s faces! Was this your fuckin plan, Hurk!?” Gina continued to a cowering Hurk.

“Hey- HEY!” Rush said, getting in between them, “in case you haven’t noticed, they were not planning on letting you out alive-“

“I fuckin know that, you act like I never ran around with these chicken shits, I knew their whole game!” Gina interrupted him, “and I wanted to rub it in their faces when I did win! Show those fuckin Twins that they can shove off!”

“You weren’t doing a good job of it,” Griffin pointed out. Gina gave him a glare, then huffed, relaxing a little.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she finally admitted. She looked over at Hurk.

“Sorry for hittin you,” she said to him.

“No, it’s good,” Hurk said, still rubbing the spot where she punched him.

“And you,” Gina turned to the Judge and tilted her head at them, raising an eyebrow, “I should probably thank you too, I guess, or whatever.”

The Judge grunted and Gina’s eyebrow went up further, but she made no comment. Instead, she looked around at the group before staring back at Rush.

“So, who the hell are all of you people then?” She asked. Rush shook his head and sighed.

“There’s a lot you need to be caught up on,” he said, “let’s find a place to camp for the night, then we can talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s just pretend the derby now isn’t currently covered in mangled corpses.
> 
> This is probably the longest chapter yet at like 5700 words and what’s worse is it probably won’t be the last very long chapter. That means there’s good stuff tho.
> 
> Title is from Up Around the Bend by Creedence Clearwater Revival.


	17. I’m Going To Make This Place Your Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Settle down, it'll all be clear  
>  Don't pay no mind to the demons  
> They fill you with fear  
> The trouble it might drag you down  
> If you get lost, you can always be found  
> Just know you're not alone  
> 'Cause I'm going to make this place your home_

The group decided to make camp in the derby rather than going back to the old gas station across the road. There was a large ledge at the opposite side of the derby’s only entrance. The space held one room, a garage, and an old blue bus that had makeshift toilets inside. 

Griffin was outside, looking over the ledge at the tracks around him, looking at the interesting things the Highwaymen had dragged inside. An old cage that looked like a cheeseburger, probably from the Pet Pen, was placed next to a giant, Hollywood like buildboard that spelled out the word ‘Yes’ in big white letters. Maybe the Twins were thinking of adopting that as a new Highwaymen motto, whatever it stood for, Griffin sure as hell didn’t know. He didn’t really understand half of the shit the Twins had their men do.

Rush was a couple yards away from him, talking to Kim on the radio. He wanted to get people up here to hold the track away from the Twins.

“Although we don’t actually need it, if this can halt their prisoner runs then it’ll leave less of a chance of our people that they still have imprisoned from dying, at least to their games,” Rush told Griffin earlier. The Judge has walked off the moment Rush pulled out his radio and Griffin wasn’t really sure where they were at. He hoped they were close by. With how rushed this plan was, Griffin was uncomfortable with the idea of being at the track without any kind of backup. As long as Kim pulls through, however, they should be fine, hopefully.

Griffin’s thoughts were interrupted by Rush who had finally gotten off of his call and was approaching the Captain.

“Well?” Griffin asked. Rush gave him a smile and leaned against the rail in front of him.

“Kim said she’ll talk to Bean, he may know a few folks who wouldn’t mind camping here for a while, but we should be set by tomorrow morning,” Rush said.

“That’s good. I can’t wait to get out of here,” Griffin said.

“Why not? Is racing not your thing?”

“You know I’m a terrible driver.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you’re terrified to drive a car.”

“No I’m not!” Griffin said incredulously, “and it’s not that, I just don’t like being out here. It’s too… open.”

Rush nodded in agreement.

“Can’t say it any better myself. Still, we have to keep this place away from the Twins.”

“No more games for them,” Griffin agreed. He turned around until his back was on the rail and looked up at the lights above.

“So, what adventure do you plan on getting into once we’re done here?” Rush asked. Griffin had to think for a moment.

“Well,” he began, speaking slowly, “I’m not sure if Ethan is still at the Marina or not, and since I’m pretty sure the peggies don’t use radios, Joseph may not know about any of the problems we’ve been having with getting everyone to be nice to each other, and to be honest, I don’t really trust Ethan to tell him.”

“So you want to go to New Eden I’m guessing?” Griffin nodded. Rush gave a shrug.

“Great. Let me come too.”

“You don’t have to ask to come with me. You’re in charge, remember?” Griffin said.

“You may as well be the one calling the shots when it comes to the peggies,” Rush said, “besides your friend, I have never actually met any of them.”

“You’re right, but I don’t know how much you’re going to like them.”

“Isn’t Joseph Seed some peacemaker now or something?” Rush asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t actually know the guy. Besides whatever he told me about his vision, and the cult stuff, he’s just one giant unknown.”

“We’re use to unknowns.”

“Not like Joseph.”

“I can handle it,” Rush said. He reached out a hand and put it on Griffin’s shoulder.

“Hey you two,” Jess called from the other side of the ledge. She and the Judge were heading to Rush and Griffin, Jess put her hands on her hips.

“We made a fire and you look cold out here,” Jess said, looking from one man to the other, “Why don’t you both stop being strangers and come join us at the campfire.”

“All right, we will,” Rush said, laughing. Griffin got off the fence and followed them to the entrance of the room where the others were sitting around a freshly made fire. Griffin sat down next to Hurk, Rush and Jess sat down on his other side, while the Judge looked around at the group before they went to sit between Hurk and Griffin.

“Hey, amigo, glad you can join in,” Hurk said. Gina rolled her eyes but Griffin could see her give a small smile.

“Hey, what’s been happening since we were gone?” Griffin asked.

“Nothing much, kiddo,” Nana said, “the boys were catching up Gina with what’s been going on and I’ve been sitting and listening to their squawking.”

“Yeah. Sounds like you and the hippie have been causing some major problems for Mickey and Lou,” Gina said, and smirked, “that’s good. They fuckin hate problem makers.”

“As I’ve been told by the ladies themselves,” Griffin said, giving a bow with his head. Gina gave a small laugh.

“Well, if you ever want me to help you cause some even bigger problems, just ask. I’ll be happy to help- and I guess we can bring Hurk along too,” Gina said as Hurk opened his mouth to object. He closed it, paused for a moment, then nodded, satisfied. 

“Greaaaat,” Griffin said. He was happy with the offer of Gina’s help, the woman already proved to be a force of nature just by herself, but he sure as hell wouldn’t of wanted to bring Hurk along. He wasn’t even sure if he liked him, the man was too much of a loud mouth and a loose cannon for his liking, same for his cousin.

Gina turned to Hurk.

“What happened to our baby?” Gina asked. Hurk smiled.

“Sharky’s been watching Blade while I was trying to find you, babe,” Hurk replied. Gina’s eyes widened.

“You named our kid Blade!?” She said, “and left him with Sharky?”

“He makes a good babysitter!” Hurk said, leaning away from Gina.

“Yeah, the little dudes been great. Kim’s keeping an eye on him now,” Sharky said, “she has those really good mommy skills, he’s fine.”

“Well I sure as fuckin hoped you would of left him at Prosperity,” Gina said, shaking her head, “I would of strangled the both of you if you had brought him along with that little stunt of the both of yours.”

“Don’t worry, we wouldn't let them,” Rush assured her. She nodded at his direction in approval.

“Good. It’s fuckin bad enough the Twins are goin after him like he’s Highwaymen property, I don’t need you dumbasses makin it easy for ‘em.”

Griffin poked at the fire a bit as the conversation turned. Nana started to talk to Jess about something, but he really couldn’t hear what they were saying over Hurk, Gina, and Sharky’s louder conversation about Blade as well as Hurks next plans for his vengeance quest. Griffin felt himself slowly relax and nudged the Judge next to him, who was watching the flames.

“Hey, you did good today, hero,” he said to them. The Judge gave a small grunt, not looking away from the fire.

“I’m proud of you, really,” Griffin said. The Judge looked at him, then nodded their head before turning back to look at the flames.

“You know what this reminds me of?” Sharky said loudly to the group. Everyone’s attention turned towards him.

“Remember, Hurky and Jess, when we would have campfires and s’mores and shit with everyone at the pizza bar?” Sharky continued. Jess nodded.

“Yeah, I do. Nick and Grace would cook up something nice with whatever the hell I brought by and Adelaide would tell us stories about her sexcapades,” Jess rolled her eyes as Sharky laughed.

“Yeah, I remember that,” Sharky said, “that’s what this made me think of. We use to tell stories, talk shit about the peggies - eh, no offense over there amigo- usually Jess was the one to yell at us for getting too wild, but Dep would always get a kick out of it.”

“Half of the shit you and Hurk pulled on the peggies was with her, of course Dep got a kick out of it,” Jess rolled her eyes again.

“That’s because Dep was cool,” Hurk said, “like, there was that one time she helped me get my daddy’s truck back, and that other time when we had to hunt down Cheeseburger cause the peggies scared him off. Then, of course, they had no issue with me going ham on some cult shit property whenever we felt like it. We had a lot of fun.”

“You guys we’re friends with the Deputy?” Rush asked. Griffin gave a huff of laughter. He couldn’t imagine the Judge, Mx. “Everything annoys me at any conceivable moment,” to be friends with people like Hurk and Sharky. The idea of them running around with two red neck, trigger happy, pyromaniacs was amusing. How they did it, Griffin certainly didn’t know.

“Yeah, me, Sharky, and Hurk use to run with her,” Jess said, “we got into all kinds of shit trouble with the peggies. The good kind.”

“Yeah, the Seeds didn’t really like her,” Sharky said, “but she is probably the only cool cop I ever met. She didn’t even arrest me after we burned a lot of the peggies ‘angels.’”

“We were the reason half of the outposts were taken back from the peggies,” Jess continued, “she always seemed to know what she was doing and really had no problem with going along with my plans-“

“She also had a dog,” Sharky said, “but that’s like, the only bad thing I think she’s ever did-“

“-but she really cared about the people in the county, even for fuck ups like us. I never met anyone, besides maybe Eli, who ever cared as much for people as she did,” Jess continued, “she was really something.” She was staring into the fire, an almost somber look on her face.

“Sounds like you had a thing for her,” Griffin said. 

“Cap...,” Rush rolled his eyes, causing Jess to laugh.

“I’m pretty fucking sure half of Hope County was in love with her by the time all of this shit boiled over,” Jess said, “but she had her eyes on the other Deputy, Hudson. The way she talked about her, you would have thought no other woman had ever existed before her, she was completely in love. Never really found out what happened to her- the both of them- though.”

Griffin pressed his lips together and said nothing. The mood in the group dropped, a quiet settling around the fire that seemed to muffle the flames. Griffin couldn’t look at the Judge but also didn’t know how to break the awkward silence. Luckily for him, Nana came to the rescue.

“Well, kiddos, I don’t know about all of you but I‘m so tired, I can sleep from now until the next reckoning. How about we all quit the sad talk, put out that fire, and get some rest before we all head off to who knows where in the morning?”

“Yeah, Rush and I are going to New Eden tomorrow,” Griffin said. He looked at the Judge.

“Do I even need to ask if you want to come with us?”

The Judge grunted and nodded, finally looking away from the fire at him. He nodded back and stood up, stretching. Rush stood with him.

“It’s best we all sleep then,” Rush said.

“Yeah. I need to check on Blade and make sure he’s alright, even with his Aunty Kim watching him,” Sharky said, “I mean, unless you want to go see him,” Sharky said quickly to Gina. She sighed.

“No, you’re doing a good enough job watching my baby, I guess,” Gina said, “I think it’s best for me to not be around him right now, just at least until this shit is over with.”

“Alright, just don’t keep him waiting too long. He misses his mama,” Sharky said.

“I’m not tryin to abandon my baby,” Gina grumbled.

Griffin stood up and stretched before heading on in through the door. After everything that had happened that day, sleep was a welcomed idea.

——————

The peggies in New Eden we’re all incredibly busy when Griffin arrived with Rush and the Judge the next morning. Some younger Chosen were training, shooting arrows at homemade targets as much older peggies watched them, a couple stepping forward occasionally to give their charges advice, before going back to watching them shoot. Rush watched one group curiously who were pouring over a couple of cougar cubs. The duo kept shooting The Captain and his group looks, whispering among themselves.

“Did these- are they training cougars?” Rush asked, pointing back at the peggies behind them.

Griffin shrugged and gave him a small smile.

“Welcome to New Eden,” he said. He led the way up to Ethan’s place. Other peggies called out greetings to him, most friendly. However, Griffin could see the looks some shot in his and Rush’s direction and he knew their disdain for outsiders is as apparent as ever.

Nobody stopped them on their way up, however, and Griffin saw the same old woman he met weeks ago at the entrance to Ethan and Joseph’s hut. She smiled at the group as they approached where she was standing.

“It’s good to see you again, outsider,” she said, nodding her head at the Captain, “and you brought one of your friends with you. It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man.”

Her voice was full of warmth as she directed her attention to Rush.

“The name is Thomas Rush, ma’am,” he said, returning her nod, “it’s nice to meet you too.”

“Marin,” she said, then looked back at Griffin, “if you’re looking for the Father I’m afraid he’s not here right now.”

“Again?” Griffin asked, feeling his heart sink. That’s great, perfect, every time he wants to speak to the old man he always seems to disappear, especially when the stuff he wants to say isn’t just about the Highwaymen.

The trip from the derby to New Eden had given Griffin plenty of time to think. Between his and the Judges many conversations, the accounts from the older residents of Hope County, and from what Griffin has learned and seen, he doesn’t know how much more involved with Joseph Seed he wants to be after this war is over. He had thought he liked the old man, but even with the Judge’s assurances that he has changed for the better, Griffin was not at all happy with the Father’s current behavior. If he wasn’t mistaken now, Griffin had a good feeling Joseph Seed was purposely avoiding him, but for what, he wasn’t sure.

“Do you know where he could of went?” Griffin asked Marin.

“North,” a voice said before she could open her mouth. Ethan stood at the doorway, the usual frown on his face that he always seemed to wear when Griffin so much as brought up his dad, “he left this morning, in fact.”

“That’s great. I even brought Rush with me who, you know, maybe Joseph would of wanted to speak to,” Griffin lifted a hand at Rush. Ethan lifted an eyebrow and studied him, looking up and down at Rush before speaking again.

“The Father has no interest in the company of outsiders, unless, of course, it's yours,” Ethan nodded a head at Griffin’s direction, “however, I’ll gladly speak with you if you need to talk,” he directed his attention back to Rush and proceeded to give him a warm smile.

“Oh, why thank you,” Rush said, shooting Griffin a confused look, “are you also in charge around here?”

“This is Joseph’s son, Ethan,” Griffin said quietly to Rush. He nodded his head.

“Yes, I was the one who had been keeping things in order in New Eden while Joseph had exiled himself north. Needless to say we are all happy with his return but even the Father finds himself overwhelmed with some of the troubles we have been facing with the Highwaymen. Rest assured, however, your Captain has been a really big help.”

“I have?” Griffin asked, confused. Ethan has never gave him a compliment before.

“Yes, you have. Would I think so low of a non-believer enough to refuse to recognize the difficult work you have done? Our people are free because of you,” Ethan said, “they are all happy to be back home thanks to you and your...friends.”

“Happy to help,” Griffin muttered.

“Then maybe you are willing to help a little more,” Ethan said, “There is something I wish for you to look into, I would do it myself but I am busy with my duties here, so unfortunately I cannot be present for this.”

“What do you need help with?” Griffin asked.

“There is a holy place we have, not too far from here,” Ethan said, “Marin can tell you more about it but some of the Chosen have been reporting of the locusts wandering around out there. I would like for you to make sure they do not plan on trying to disgrace another one of our sacred sites, again, and to drive them out if they are.”

Ethan turned to Marin.

“Please get them properly suited for this. Especially the Shepard.”

“Yes, Ethan,” she said. Griffin gave her a bewildered look.

“What do you mean by ‘properly suited?’ What are we getting into here?” Griffin asked. If this was another Flame of Eden situation, so help him-

“You are our Shepard, you should look properly like one of us, is all,” Ethan said, “besides, the clothes you wear now are filthy. I’m sure you would like for them to be washed, yes?”

Griffin relaxed, but his frown grew bigger. What was wrong with what he was wearing now? He looked down at himself. The Rookie jacket was streaked with dirt and some blood, sweat shown through his shirt under it. Griffin couldn’t tell, but he probably smelled. Yeah, Griffin really needed a bath and some clean clothes.

“You may as well fit his friend as well,” Ethan said, earning himself a look from Rush, “Marin can help you both find suitable clothes then lead you to where the location is at.”

Ethan looked at Rush then at Griffin.

“I would like to stay and talk longer but I have to go now-“

“Wait! Did Joseph say when he was coming back?” Griffin quickly asked. Ethan closed his eyes slowly then opened them, his frown growing bigger.

“I would have thought that you have learned by now that my father likes to keep me in the dark more than he is fond of you,” Ethan said, “If I knew when he would return then I would have told you, but I don’t know. Good luck, Shepherd,” Ethan turned around and walked back into his home, closing the door behind him. Marin gave a concerned look to the closed doors before she gave another smile to Griffin and Rush.

“Follow me, please. We will get you cleaned up, then, we will hunt.”

——————

Marin had taken Griffin and Rush to an empty hut where she had given the two of them both new uniforms that resembled the Chosen’s own outfits.

“Change into these, and the Judge and I will be waiting for you at the gate,” she said before leaving them. Griffin had thrown a glance at Rush, who was already taking off his jacket.

“I guess we really can’t complain,” Rush said, “we were running around the derby track not too long ago.”

“It’s not that,” Griffin said, “its that-“

“Ethan made it sound like you were planning on staying here forever,” Rush said. Griffin nodded and pulled his jacket, then shirt, off.

“Yeah, I don’t plan on doing that. How are you going to manage without me,” Griffin gave Rush a smile.

“I can’t fix America without you,” Rush agreed.

The clothes Rush was given were different than Griffin’s. While Rush’s matched with the brown leather clothes the peggies wore, Griffin’s were black, long sleeved, resembling the Judge’s more than the other Chosen. It even had a mask, a cougar skull painted with red designs. Griffin studied the mask before he pulled it on, the skull covered the top half of his face. Rush nodded approvingly at him.

“Scary,” he commented.

“Meow,” Griffin replied, raising his hands at Rush, fingers spread out like claws. They left the hut and headed to the gate where Marin and the Judge were waiting for them. Marin gave them an approving nod and waved her hand, gesturing for the group to follow her.

Griffin should be baking under all of the fur he was wearing, but he was feeling rather cool, the outfit was as comfortable as if he was wearing his own clothes. It probably helped that the sunlight didn’t show too much through the leaves, letting them walk among shadows. Their walk wasn’t all too far either, only taking the group about half an hour and only having to cross the road once before they reached the spot Ethan had told them about.

It reminded Griffin of some TV shows he used to watch, families on vacation at parks or fairs or beaches where some big fancy performance was being put on for the crowd, but no show was being put on here. A very large fire pit took most of the sites room, the space filled with nothing but ash. Unlit torches circled the area where the gaps between them were filled with benches made from sticks. The trees shielded most of the area without covering the fire pit, allowing enough space for the smoke to fly into the sky. 

Marin looked around and nodded approvingly.

“The sinners have not defaced this spot, thank the Father,” she said. She looked at Griffin.

“What do you want to do, Shepard?” She asked. Griffin gave her a confused look.

“I guess we could look around and see if anyone is hiding or looking for us. Don’t want to walk into an ambush,” he said. Marin nodded and started to walk forward. Griffin followed her, circling around the pit on the left, while the Judge and Rush circled the pit to the right. They met up at an area where a large podium was, the place where a book would usually be now empty.

“We have not been able to come here much more often than before,” Marin said sadly, tracing her hand along the face of the podium. Griffin and Rush were still looking around the site but were slowly letting their guard down.

Griffin lifted the mask up off his face.

“What’s this place for then?” He asked. Marin didn’t say anything, just wander to the edge of the pit and pulled something small out of her pocket.

“Although we are wary of outsiders, we do not shy away from those who have seen the truth and wish to join our family,” she said, “I have seen many people from everywhere, even a few who had fought us before the Collapse, come and live with us in the paradise our Father has built. The only sacrifice in return that we ask is for newcomers to burn their past and all of their ties to the Old World to become new. Only then can you live in New Eden.”

Suddenly, the fire pit lit up, causing Griffin and Rush to jump as large pink and purple flames leaped high into the sky, burning furiously as if the pit has been lit for hours. One by one, the torches lit up as well until the area was glowing in a pink light. Marin turned slowly to face Rush and Griffin.

“We all have to give up our past to the flame, sooner or later,” Marin said, “it is a difficult and freeing choice that demands the sacrifice of one’s self. Everyone is offered this choice, and anyone can accept it.”

She reached out a hand to Griffin. He looked at Rush then back at her, taking a couple of steps until he stood next to her. Marin grabbed both of his hands and lifted them up clutching them. The Judge had walked to where Griffin was standing before and was watching the scene before them with Rush.

“You too can relieve yourself of your past. Sacrifice who you were to the flame and join us in Eden, Shepard. Join our family and help us rebuild New Eden again, just as the Father promised you would,” she said. Griffin looked at the flames, almost hypnotized by them before looking down at Marin again.

“I don’t belong here,” Griffin said, shaking his head at her, “New Eden isn’t my home.” Marin nodded, saddened, and let go of his hands.

“You are the promised Shepard,” she said, her voice quiet, “but we cannot force you into our ways.”

“I didn’t think you were,” Griffin said quickly, not wanting to make the old woman sad. She shook her head and gave Griffin a small smile.

“Thank you,” she said. Marin turned and walked away, past both Rush and the Judge. When she passed them, Rush walked quickly over to Griffin.   
“Are you OK?” He asked, studying Griffin, his face full of concern. Griffin nodded.

“Like I said, man,” Griffin said, giving Rush a small smile, “I don’t plan on leaving your side any time soon. New Eden can’t drag me away that easily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not sure exactly how happy I am with this chapter but it’s more of a transitional one anyway. What’s Jess’s deal, who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I had fun writing that beginning conversation tho with everyone at the campfire.
> 
> Title is from Home by Phillip Phillips
> 
> Also, I do have a Spotify playlist for all the chapter titles in this fic! Give it a listen here!: https://open.spotify.com/user/irxeg64mmu4pyfmn40z75pe2x/playlist/0ChBqevIp7KwPQUXHpSCY8?si=aqaHAzvQTuGTTmtDke362A


	18. The Lie Between the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And I say, you've got to listen  
>  I'm a songbird with a brand new track   
> You underestimate  
> I'll give you something to believe in  
> Burn up a basement full of demons  
> Realize you're a slave to your mind, break free  
> Now give me something to believe in_

The boat moved ever so slowly along the river as Griffin sailed north. His face was grim, staring straight ahead, not taking in much from his surroundings. Keeping watch on the land around him was unnecessary, not many people can go into the Bliss and live.

Rush wasn’t exactly thrilled when Griffin told him what he wanted to do.

“Let me come with you,” he had insisted, “get Ethan to give me whatever he gave you and I can come and talk to Joseph. You don’t have to speak to him alone.”

“They’re not going to,” Griffin said. The Judge had nodded in agreement.

“I almost died in a cave trying to get the sacrament to go north, and before that they wouldn’t even let me come into New Eden unless I had the book. Even if the peggies are more open to me sticking around and joining them, they’re not going to allow me to give anything sacred of theirs to just anyone. I’m not the one in charge around here, Rush, I can’t just do what I want.”

Rush had sighed and nodded, looking defeated, but he didn’t push the subject further. He had even came to send Griffin off, waking up early in the morning to watch him leave, the Judge at his side, both waving goodbye as Griffin sailed away.

That was a couple hours ago and Griffin believes he may be close. He had only sailed up north once before but everything then was a pink and purple haze, giving the land a much more forbidding look then the misty sunshine that currently covered the landscape around him now. He wonders exactly what this Bliss stuff actually is, though if any of Nana’s comments about New Eden were correct, it was all just drugs.

Griffin was more worried about his future conversation with Joseph Seed than from any on shore threat at the moment.

He was mad at Joseph, incredibly pissed off in fact. The old man had made such a big deal about Griffin’s arrival to his sanctuary and about how he was supposed to be the “shepherd of his people,” whatever the hell that even meant, but the Father himself seems to have taken the Captain’s arrival as a sign for an early retirement, leaving Griffin to scramble around trying to hold everything together. Joseph wants him to lead New Eden, but Griffin can’t do that when the only person the peggies will listen to isn’t around to make sure he can do so. Surprisingly, however, that was the least of his worries when it came to Joseph Seed.

Griffin knee Rush and the Judge wouldn’t of approved, so he couldn’t tell them the real reason to why he wanted to go north alone. Yes, having Joseph go home to New Eden, and actually staying there, was important, but Griffin, try as he might with ignoring his own feelings, couldn’t help but feel bothered by what the Judge had told him. Joseph may not be encouraging his family to hunt down the citizens of Hope County anymore, but what he did to the Judge, what he has been keeping from the Captain, enraged him. Why would he even continue following Joseph if he won’t even give him the full truth?

In that moment, on the boat, Griffin understood exactly why Ethan resented his own father.

Griffin could see the large wooden hut, Joseph’s Sanctuary, in the distance. The structure was built at the bottom of a collapsed dam, the damn wall created a waterfall that flowed down into the river, feeding the ever changing Henbane.

Griffin parked the boat and stood up, taking a deep breath and stretching before he stepped off the boat.

The world around him was quiet, save for the chirping of birds and the splashing from the river. Griffin pushed the curtain that covered the huts entrance aside and found the room empty, void of any Joseph Seed that had greeted him previously. Griffin frowned, then looked up at the hole in the hut where the Gift was visible. 

Maybe Joseph was playing gardener again? It wasn’t impossible, and Griffin couldn’t see how much farther north the Father could go, so he started to walk, leaving the hut through its other entrance onto the bridge, where he crossed it and climbed the stony path up to the top of the broken dam.

Griffin could see Joseph sitting under the tree as he reached the top of the hill. He sat, back facing the south, looking out towards the water in front of him. The lake the dam had created was covered in a thick mist, but even with it, Griffin could see the damaged trees in the distance, showing where some of the radiation still lies.

He took a couple steps forward and Joseph turned his head to look up at the standing Captain.

“Shepherd,” Joseph greeted, not sounding at all surprised that he was there. Curious. Griffin sat down next to Joseph and pulled his mask off and the hood down.

“You know, I do have a name,” Griffin pointed out, “you don’t have to keep calling me all that shepherd stuff. Call me Griffin.”

“Griffin,” Joseph said slowly, as if the name was foreign on his tongue. He studied the Captain.

“You look like a member of my family now,” he commented. Griffin looked down at his new clothes.

“Yeah, I hope that doesn’t offend you or anything. My old stuff really needed a wash.”

“It is understandable,” Joseph said. There was a moment of silence between them where Joseph looked back out at the lake again before he spoke.

“You came to seek me at my sanctuary for a reason? I’m sure it is because of your plans to take on the Highwaymen?”

“Yeah. Yeah! That, and other things,” Griffin said, his anger at the old man returning.

“What other things do you wish to discuss?”

“A couple of things, actually, and funny enough, not all of it has to do with the Highwaymen. I know everything. I know about Eden’s Gate, I know what you did to Hope County, I know about the Deputy, and I know about the Judge.”

There was another long moment of silence, one not broken by any reaction from Joseph. Griffin had expected something from him, anger maybe, some kind of swear into secrecy, instead it seems like the man didn’t even care that he knew at all.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Griffin asked finally, anything to break the uncomfortable silence. That got a response from Joseph. He turned his head sharply to look at Griffin. 

“I am not avoiding you,” he said.

“Really? Cause every time I go to New Eden you either leave or are already gone and the more I work with New Eden, the more I’m starting to feel like you have no interest in helping us fight.”

“That is not true.”

“Then why do you keep running back up here?” Griffin asked.

“To listen to God’s guidance,” Joseph said, “just as I exiled myself up north before. We are in strange times, one where the outcome to this war is shrouded in a dark mist even I cannot see through. We are on an unknown path, and to run ahead unaided would be foolish on our part.”

“I thought I was supposed to clean up this whole mess though?”

“You are, but that is simply the known ending to all that will come. How we get there, what must be sacrificed, is uncertain,” Joseph closed his eyes and bowed his head.

“God’s plans are never clear, I’ve learned that now,” Joseph sighed, “all I can do is listen to any guidance given to me and pray it will lead me to do the right thing, but in the end, we all must follow God’s plans, no matter what that entails.”

“Why not just do something about everything that's going on then instead of waiting for someone to tell you what to do?”

“I don’t think you understand-“

“No, I really don’t. I’m going to be real for a moment here, I don’t understand half of the shit you tell me. To me it’s just promises of something I’m supposed to do based on something I’ve already been doing. How can I believe I’m going to rebuild all of this just cause I’ve been the one put on the top of the Twin’s shit list? Because I found your book?”

“It is what God has promised my people.“

“I don’t believe in God, Father,” Griffin said bluntly. There was a stunned pause from Joseph.

“Maybe waiting for an answer worked in the past, but that’s not going to cut it right now, only action will. Hope County wants to stop the Twins, so that is what we are going to do. We got those outposts because Rush, Kim, and Crusty made plans and they worked, I found your book because you led me to it, not the voice of God. We are close to finally ending all of this, but if you’re just going to hide up here again then there was no point in me bringing you back to New Eden the first time. You can’t stay up here forever, Joseph, your people need you to come home.”

“I never intended to make you feel like I have abandoned you,” Joseph said.

“It really did feel like it,” Griffin replied, “with whoever is trying to sabotage us on top of the Highwaymen still taking everything, we can’t have you hiding up north again. The Scavengers are finally starting to let loose around the peggies, we can’t afford to have that ruined now.”

“Then I will return to New Eden with you,” Joseph said. 

“Good, glad we got that covered,” Griffin said. He leaned back and looked up at the tree branches above him. The sun was barely shining through the leaves, leaving dappled spots of light on the ground around him. Griffin finally looked back at Joseph, who was watching the lake in silence again. 

“We need to talk about the Deputy,” Griffin said, when he realized Joseph wasn’t going to say anything.

“You have talked to my Judge,” Joseph said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah, I did.”

“When?”

“Quite a few times,” Griffin said, “I had to piece a lot of things on my own. Once I found out, they were not really happy. It took for-fucking-ever to get the Judge to finally open up about anything but they said some stuff that’s got me really questioning a lot of things about you. What the hell did you do to them?”

Joseph didn’t say anything for a very long time after that. Griffin was about to say something to him again when Joseph finally turned his head to look at Griffin.

“All I did was tell them the truth.”

“What truth?” Griffin said, raising his voice, “They kept going on about some truth too but they’re certainly not telling me what it is, I don’t need you to dodge my questions too-“

“Do you remember,” Joseph interrupted loudly, “what I told you when I first gave the Judge leave?”

“Not really,” Griffin admitted.

“I told you that violence is the only language they speak. Violence, nothing else. No matter what they do, in the end, it’s what they turn to, because they thrive on it, it is all that they know, even if they don’t believe that themself, but it is the truth. Before, when there was a Deputy, they laid waste to Eden in a way my family was not prepared for. When the local law enforcement first got involved, I tried to make peace, for there was only one way this all was going to end, but the Deputy refused to listen.”

“They took and took from my flock, from my siblings, until they ended up taking their lives as well,” Joseph continued, “When their friends were in peril, they decided to continue to resist rather than save their families lives. They refused to listen to me, and in the end, when the Collapse finally came, they suffered greatly for it.”

“So you manipulated them to become your Judge?”

“I simply told them-“

“What? That all of their friends are dead because it was their fault? That the bombs wouldn’t have fallen if they had listen? Did you ever stop to think that they didn’t listen to you for a reason? I heard countless stories from other Scavengers- how your people had tortured them and killed their friends and- and- and other sick shit! People in Hope County have the right to be pissed at you after everything you and your siblings did, and to me it sounds like all you have been doing is playing the blame game while not taking any responsibility for any of this shit yourself!”

“I never said I was not responsible,” Joseph said quietly. He went back to staring at the lake.

“Those years underground…” Joseph paused again then shook his head, “I changed the Judge. They became what they are because they finally listened. They knew what they were but rather than staying in the old ways, they atoned, they changed, and in a way, because of them, I changed to. We did not leave that bunker the same people we were when we first entered it.”

“You know they’re still miserable, right?” Griffin said, “they won’t admit it and they don’t think you did anything wrong, but they think they’re going to, I don’t know, hurt the people in Prosperity or something. They’re scared and they don’t know what to do.”

“The Judge is guilty and knows it, but their guilt is their burden to carry, just as I have my own,” Joseph replied, “I have given my family, my brothers and sister, everything they asked for, and they used their powers on the people who resided here, taking out their own sins on the people around them. They killed, they sacrificed, and in the end, they ended up consumed by their own sin, I take fault in this.”

Joseph looked down at Griffin.

“I know your friends do not care for me and care very little for the rest of my family, I am not naive to this,” Joseph said, “but my intentions are not to repeat the sins from the past, the Old World died, even if my mistakes have not been wiped as well. I am not expecting forgiveness, but I do not bear any ill will towards your friends, I can promise you that.”

“What about the Judge? You know they’re miserable and yet you let them stay like this? They’re convinced their friends will hate them and so what, you’re fine with just leaving them like that? Their brothers have spent years looking for them, one of them is set on seeing you killed, because they think the Judge is dead. If they’re your family then are you really happy to leave them like this?”

There was a long pause.

“You’re full of shit,” Griffin said.

“I know you care about the Judge, I do too-“

“Too? _Too?_ You are not involved in anything that has to do with caring about the Judge, or anyone! You’re fucked up! You have the Judge wrapped around your finger like they’re some pet of yours, going about with all of this “my Judge” bull shit!! I don’t give a fuck about whatever the hell they did to your family, you hurt them! You hurt them and made them so dependent on you, they don’t even give much thought about what they want or need so long as it means sticking around doing what you want them to do! It’s sick! You don’t do this to the people you care about, Joseph!”

“It was God’s plan,” Joseph said, his voice growing noticeably frustrated. 

“Was it God’s plan, or was it yours? I saw your diary in that bunker,” Griffin growled, “Like I said, I know everything.”

“No, you don’t know. You don’t,” Joseph shook his head.

Griffin stood up. Joseph didn’t move, he just watched him, still looking at Griffin with that stupid calm expression he always wears.

“I know you don’t want to hurt more people, and I get that, but after this, I want nothing more to do with you,” Griffin said, “I don’t care about whatever prophecy you have, you can find someone else to be your ‘Shepherd’ when we’re done. I’m sure Ethan will be happy about that.”

“This is not how it will all end,” Joseph said. 

“And how would you know?” Griffin asked. He didn’t even stay to wait for an answer, he turned and stalked off down the hill, his hands balled into fists. Whether or not Joseph had gotten up to follow him, he didn’t care to see.

———————

The Judge stayed low to the ground as the deer came into view, walking slowly into the middle of the clearing as it searched the ashen ground for any morsel of food. It was a thin, starved looking, deer, but food nonetheless, and the Father knows they need every morsel they could get in these trying times.

The day they left the silo was in the middle of spring, somewhere in mid April one peggie had informed Joseph, but the weather did not improve as the year progressed, nor during the year after that. Spring ended, then summer came, but the world remained cold and ash covered, the sun barely coming out long enough to feed the plants that currently grew before disappearing again.

The peggies tried to grow their own food, starting small farms on the north end of the island close to where the old ruined compound laid, but nothing lived long enough to bear food before the late night frosts came to kill the plants off. 

Now it was their second winter and the world was deathly cold. The Judge woke every morning with a thin layer of frost already forming in the small hut they had built for themselves, but no matter how many fires they lit, it only stayed off the cold, just for a little bit.

Worse so was the famine, and with it, the sickness that followed. No plants meant very few animals, and without food, all of the peggies current sick couldn’t fight off the illness that gripped their lungs, their coughing a constant sound in the air of the bleak camp. Those who were still strong went out, desperate to find _something_ to eat, but found little, every animal they found as thin and meatless as the people that lived in New Eden.

The Judge was starting to worry about Joseph. He didn’t say much, giving nothing but encouraging words, suggestions for where they could look for food next, but the Judge saw him when he thought no one was looking, the defeated look he wore. They were all hungry and even he didn’t know what to do, so he did what the Judge knows he does best, and gave the peggies hope, asking them just to have a little more faith, to wait just a little longer, and everything will be fine.

Then one day Joseph was gone. The Judge didn’t worry when he first disappeared, this had become such a common occurrence that the peggies had stopped asking where he went the first few times he left. The Judge knew he wanted to find a way north, a secret he confided only to them one day when they both went hunting by themselves, but to get through the cloud of Bliss was hard and dangerous.

But now Joseph has been gone for almost a week and the Judge had started to worry, his previous adventures never took this long, but what would of kept Joseph Seed away longer than his usual trips, especially when everything out here was so cold and dead with New Eden slowly succumbing to the barely living world around them. They were on their last legs, and now it seemed that their Father has left them.

The Judge waited until the deer was in the middle of the clearing before they put an arrow in their bow. Quietly, they drew the string back, the old compound bow creaking only a little bit as the string was pulled. The deer looked up, its ears raised to the noise, but it didn’t jolt, so the Judge raised their bow and took aim, then let go, the arrow hitting through the deer's neck in a small spurt of blood.

The deer stumbled about, a gargled cry came out of its mouth, then it fell and was still. The Judge got out of their hiding spot and walked over to it. They grabbed the shaft of the arrow and pulled it out of the deer's neck, then they lifted it up, carrying it across their shoulders and began the walk home.

The Judge’s stomach grumbled and they realized exactly how hungry they were, their last meal may have been yesterday morning. It was hard for the Judge to find a place to eat away from the others, most of the time having to eat alone in the dead woods in the dark. Joseph has kept their secret well and for that they could only be grateful, but even so, this kind of isolation was not something they were used to. The Judge had thought being underground with just Joseph was hard, but being around other people, not being able to talk to others, it hurts. At least they still had Joseph.

They soon were at New Eden’s camp. Joseph had decided that their new settlement would be next to the river, a collapsed bridge and cracked road made the perfect path to lead up to their new home. 

Between the sickness and the hunger, the time New Eden has spent here has not been productive when it came to making their garden. Small, hastily built huts littered the camp, their sickest inside and struggling to stay warm. The strongest were out trying to farm or were guarding the camp from any wild animals that decided to try and scavenge for food inside.

Some peggies gave approving nods at the Judge as they walked through to where Marin was with a couple of other women skinning rabbits. She looked up and gave the Judge a smile when she saw the deer they were carrying.

“Thank you. This will go straight to the sick,” she said. The Judge grunted, then dropped the deer next to her. They then turned around, ready to go hunt more, when she spoke again.

“The Father has returned, shortly after you had left. He wishes to see you as soon as you can. He’s at his home.”

The Judge froze then nodded eagerly, turning to the direction of his hut and quickly walking up the path and through its door.

The hut wasn’t finished. Between the famine and the sickness, Joseph has prioritized finding and growing food, as well as finding a way to take care of the peggies sick, over almost everything else. A large empty space took up the back half of the large building, most of the roof and walls were just a frame with only a thin tarp to keep out the cold winds. Joseph was in there, pouring over a book on the rooms pedestal, before he closed it, looking up at the Judge, who stayed standing in the entrance.

“My Judge,” Joseph said, raising a hand out to them. The Judge walked forward until they were standing next to Joseph. He raised a hand to the back of their head and tilted their head towards him until they were touching foreheads. He pulled back and moved both hands until they were on the Judge’s shoulders.

“There is something I must show you,” he said, his voice coming out urgent and more excited than the Judge has ever really heard it. They tilted their head, curious. What did he find?

Joseph let go of them and walked over to a stump where a goblet sat, an old metal thing that was simply designed, uninteresting save for a blood red liquid inside of it. Joseph picked it up and carefully took the goblet over to them, holding it out to the Judge. They reached over and grabbed it, unsure what to do.

“This,” Joseph said, “will allow us to go north. A sacrament, once drunk, will give you safe passage through the Bliss.”

The Judge looked down at their reflection in the cup before looking up at Joseph, unsure.

“Drink,” Joseph insisted, “then, we will go north. There is something I must show you.”

The Judge raised a hand to their mask and pulled it up, lifting it until it was out of their way, then hesitated, only for a moment. With both hands clutching the goblet, they lifted it up and drank. 

The liquid burned their throat, causing them to cough when they finished, but they didn’t even get to stay standing long before their vision grew orange, than black, falling at Joseph’s feet as they grew unconscious.

——————

The Judge woke hours later to sunlight. They blinked their eyes and squinted, realizing that their mask wasn’t on their face anymore. Someone had placed the wooden mask on their chest, one of their hands on top of it held it in place. They slowly sat up and looked around at their surroundings, their eyes widening at what they saw.

They were on a boat, sailing up the river through a forest, one much lusher than the ashened dead land in the south. Trees with red leaves hung over the river, dappling the water with their shadows. The river here was less muddier and, peering over the boats edge, the Judge could see small fish swimming through the water. 

The boat they were on was fitted with two large lanterns that were lit with large flames, providing unnecessary light to the already sunny day. Joseph sat in the front of the seat of the boat, steering their way through the Henbane. He turned around to look at the Judge when they first stood up and glanced down at the mask in their hands.

“It is not necessary for you to wear that while we are up here,” he said, “leave it off.”

“Yes Joseph,” The Judge said, and lowered their hands to their sides,the mask still gripped in one of them. The Judge looked around at their surroundings again.

“Where are we?” They asked.

“North, past the clouds edge,” Joseph replied, “I have been away for much longer than I originally intended but I couldn’t wait once I found a way through, so I travelled to Jacob’s Gate.”

“And the survivors-?”

“None,” Joseph interrupted, his gaze focused on the river ahead, “the bunker was flooded and empty when I opened the door.”

The Judge didn’t know what to say, an “I knew it” certainly wasn’t the best thing to say then, but the other questions they had were still there.

“I’m sorry, but where are we going?” They asked after a while. They sat down on the floor, crossing their legs as they watched the back of Joseph’s head.

“I have found the key to our salvation,” Joseph replied, “this is the most difficult winter any of us have faced, but God has provided us with something that will give us the strength we need to survive it.”

“What is it?” the Judge asked.

“You will see,” Joseph said. They sailed on for a long time. On the boat, the Judge looked around, watching familiar structures appear along the river’s path. Old mills were half sunken in the river, pieces of a very familiar statue washed up against them. They passed by one mill where, very faintly, the painted word ‘Misery’ was still visible. Bits of old houses, vehicles, and machinery laid in the river until it all cleared out again and the river completely stopped. 

There was a large pond where Joseph turned the boat around. The Judge looked up at the sheer cliff face in front of them, the collapsed dam wall had created a small waterfall that fed into the Henbane River. A large tree sat next to the waterfall, it’s branches hanging into the dams gap.

“Take a lantern,” Joseph said, grabbing one of them for himself, “we are not completely protected by the sacrament. Only the light from the flame will ensure our complete safety, until we can create an easier way for us to travel north.”

The Judge grabbed the other lantern and followed Joseph off the boat. There were large rocks for them to climb up to reach the hole in the dam. The climb was slow, but Joseph and the Judge managed to reach the top of the cliff. Joseph walked forward towards the tree.

The Judge got a better look at it and realized that this tree, unlike the ones below it, had pink leaves instead of the usual fall oranges and reds. Fruit hung from its branches, a light pink fruit that greatly resembled an apple. 

What was on the ground below it, however, horrified the Judge. Large humanoid creatures, curled in agony on the ground, laid around it along with monstrous, unidentifiable animals. Each creature had dried skin, mummified and shrunk to each one's body. The Judge could point out somewhere between ten and fifteen on the ground.

The sight of the creatures caused the Judge to freeze in their tracks, but Joseph seemed unbothered by the corpses appearance and walked over to the tree, placing a hand on one of its trunks, looking down at the ground for a moment. The Judge wanted to ask about the bodies but waited for him to speak, uncertain on why Joseph wanted to show them this.

He finally looked up into the branches of the tree overhead and spoke.

“This tree is God’s Gift,” Joseph said, “what he has given us to save New Eden from the winter storms.”

God’s Gift? The Judge looked up at the pink fruit that hung from the trees branches and their stomach grumbled. It looked, and smelled, appetizing, but the Judge was not about to reach out for a fruit, not yet. Joseph turned to face the Judge and waited for them to speak.

“What do we need to do?” The Judge asked. Joseph looked back up at the branches of the tree before he reached out and grabbed one of the apples. He pulled it down and studied it, talking as he did so.

“When we first came above ground, years ago, I despaired,” Joseph said, “even more so when the winter continued on, never ending. I had thought that God has abandoned us, once his cleansing was over. I thought that this was all that was left for us.”

“But then I was led here and I saw what our paradise is to become,” Joseph said, “a place where we will reject the greed from the old world, a place where we only take what we need, where we share and love. And so God led me to his Gift.”

Joseph walked up to the Judge, studying the fruit in his hands.

“This fruit,” Joseph continued, “is what will give us the strength we need to prosper and grow, but at a price if you cannot control it. The creatures you see around you,” Joseph gestured to the corpses around him, “were not able to, and have perished.”

“By what?” The Judge asked softly.

“Their sins,” Joseph explained, “the Gift is a terrifying and powerful thing, but if one’s soul is not pure, if it succumbs to the sin that lies in everyone’s hearts, then they will die, their soul consuming them like a wild animal.”

Joseph turned to look at the tree and raised a hand at it.

“This is what we need to protect, to keep a secret from those whose souls are wretched and rotten,” Joseph said.

“Did you eat it,” the Judge asked.

“Yes,” Joseph said. He faced the Judge again and then held the fruit out to the Judge. They took a step back, realizing what he was doing, and shook their head.

“No, I’m not worthy,” the Judge quickly said, “not after everything, not after what I did.”

“You are,” Joseph said.

“I ended the world,” they whispered.

“And you have atoned,” Joseph insisted, “you have devoted yourself to cleanse the sin in this world and this will give you what you need to see through it. If I had any doubts that your soul was still tainted, then we would not be having this conversation. You are worthy of God’s Gift.”

The Judge didn’t believe him, but reached out and took the fruit anyway, holding it in their hand, staring at it.

“Eat,” Joseph ordered. The Judge watched it more, looking slightly to the left where one of the corpses laid behind Joseph, then back to the fruit.

Then they raised it to their mouth and took a bite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There not too much I can say for this chapter other than 1. I love having Griffin finally go _off_ on Joseph for his bullshit and 2. This first half of the chapter was probably the hardest yet for me to write for reasons I can’t say for now.
> 
> Also idk if those mummified corpses up north were a reference to something, since I know FCND makes a lot of references to Ubisofts other games, but for story purposes, regardless if I am right or not, I decided to use them like this.
> 
> Title is from Something To Believe In by Young the Giant


	19. Never Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Sleep evil, sleep  
>  It’s all just in my head  
> Come the morning sun  
> I’ll fight the same demons yet again  
> You can weld me to my knees  
> But I won’t pray for mercy, no_

Griffin and Joseph had arrived back to New Eden later that day, just before the sun went down. Rush was already waiting for them, greeting the Father as warmly as if he was reuniting with an old friend.

Ethan wasn’t pleased but he was doing a much better job at hiding his displeasure now more than before. He even had greeted Joseph and the Captain at the river, saying he was happy to see them both back in New Eden safe and sound. Griffin, of course, didn’t believe him, but he could only hope that the boy may be putting his own feelings aside for this war and finally stepping up as the leader he so readily claims to be.

Rush had given Joseph and Ethan a radio, only one, for them to share.

“I know you don’t use these,” Rush said when he first gave them the device, “but we can’t keep relying on trips to communicate with each other. If something happens to New Eden or Prosperity again, we need to get in contact with each other instantly.”

“Thank you. I am sure we will be in touch a lot,” Joseph had replied. He had not said much since his and Griffin’s argument. Griffin wasn’t sure how New Eden would have reacted to his outburst, and the less they knew now, the better. Rush had not pressed him for details yet and Griffin didn't know how to tell him what happened. He certainly doesn’t know how to tell the Judge what exactly he had said to Joseph, and doesn’t plan on it. They won’t like what he said, and the last thing he needs right now is to have them breathing down his neck again.

All the same, however, Joseph’s silence on the boat ride home was nerve wracking. Griffin was at the wheel of the boat again as they rode it back to New Eden while Joseph had sat silently behind the Captain the whole ride. Griffin couldn’t help but be jumpy the whole way back and took glances at the Father whenever he felt like he wasn’t looking.

Joseph, Ethan, Rush, and Griffin had poured over the radio that night, getting word from Kim, Crusty, and various other scouts all over Hope County for an idea of the current state of things. 

The Highwaymen have not been making any moves to take back any of the Scavenger occupied outposts, however, there was a significant increase of traffic from outpost to outpost of food, ethanol, and people. The Highwaymen are preparing for something, what it is, however, none of the Scavengers knew. Pastor Jerome suggested that they keep all scouts closer to home for the time being, just until everything gets figured out. Kim suggested another upgrade to Prosperity was due soon, maybe even one for New Eden.

But they couldn’t really do anything about it now, so the Judge and Griffin had decided to go on a hunt. Rush stayed behind with Joseph and Ethan to discuss reinforcing the New Eden compound, encouraging Griffin to go out and get some fresh air away from the town.

The two were now at the Judge’s home, chatting between themselves as they prepared for their mission.

“Dutch’s Island always has deer,” the Judge said, shuffling around the arrows that laid in front of them, “we can go there, kill a couple. Marin would appreciate it.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Griffin said. He wasn’t doing much with the prepping, other than occasionally pulling back the string on his bow. He never done archery before running into New Eden; it was embarrassing telling the Chosen at the Flame of Eden that he needed a quick lesson on shooting arrows before completing that mission. He went and practiced a few times during his break at the Marina though. Jess was giving him a couple of helpful tips behind him as she watched, laughing when he failed. He certainly isn’t Robin Hood, but at least he can shoot with a bow properly now.

“I’m going to warn you ahead of time though, I’m a complete newbie when it comes to using this thing.”

“With the way you handle weapons I would have thought you would of been a pro,” The Judge said.

“Nope. Never had before I met you guys in New Eden. Who taught you how to shoot an arrow?” Griffin asked.

“Jess.”

“Oh, she tried to give me tips but mainly kept making fun of me.”

“Yeah, that’s her idea on how to get better.”

“Get better through spite, maybe she was onto something.”

“No, just no.”

Griffin laughed and tossed his own arrows into a quiver. The Judge watched him do this.

“Captain, I’ve been wanting to ask, what happened up north?” they finally said.

“Wh- what do you mean?” Griffin asked, as nonchalantly as he could, but inside he could feel a small sense of growing panic.

“It’s just, it’s Joseph. There’s been something off about him, and I know he’s been up north more than he has been down south, but he seems…” the Judge waved a hand but struggled to find the right word.

“Distant?” Griffin suggested.

“Yes, that word fits,” the Judge said, “it is not like him to be this way, at least with me and Ethan. What happened when you found him?”

This wasn’t a conversation he was hoping to have this soon. 

“We talked,” Griffin said, “about some stuff, mainly about him not being around when we needed him, but to be honest, giving him a radio never crossed my mind. It’s a good thing Rush thought about it.”

“And nothing else?” The Judge pressed. 

Oh boy.

“A couple of things,” Griffin said, choosing his words carefully, “we talked about some stuff, had a few disagreements, I-“ Griffin flinched, “I told him I know who you were.”

The spout of anger he expected never came, instead, the Judge calmly listened as they worked, but stopped when they realized Griffin wasn’t saying more.

“I kind of thought you would of been pissed,” Griffin admitted when they stared at him.

“Joseph already knows, why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you wouldn’t want him to know that I know?”

“Joseph isn’t the one who told me to keep my past a secret, that was something I wanted,” The Judge said. Griffin bit his lip but didn’t say anything. At least he avoided telling them about discarding his title as New Eden’s Shepherd, or everything he said about the Judge to Joseph.

“I just wish he would tell me what is wrong,” The Judge said, sadly.

“Maybe it’s stress?” Griffin suggested, “things have been picking up since the Pet Pen.”

“I hope it is,” The Judge replied, “he is getting old.”

“I doubt he’s going to kick the bucket soon,” Griffin said, “people with lots of enemies usually live longer than the people who hate them want them to.”

“You’ll jinx yourself if you keep talking like that,” The Judge said, “what about the Twins?”

“Hey, kicking them out of the county is another option on our table, killing the Twins is just the easier one,” Griffin said. The Judge gave a laugh but were interrupted by someone stepping on branches. Ethan came into view of the hut entrance, narrowing his eyes at the Judge and Griffin.

“There you two are,” he said. He walked forward until he was in the hut with them, standing over the other two sitting people.

“Hey, what’s up?” Griffin asked.

“Nothing is up,” Ethan said, “What are you doing?”

“About to go hunting.”

“Looks like you’re just chatting.”

“What, are we not allowed to talk?”

“I never said that,” Ethan said, “Another outpost was taken from the sinners.”

“Oh? Which one?”

“We got the news from a couple of your friends. A woman, Jess Black I believe was her name, said her and two other people she were with named Hurk Drubman and Gina Guerra have taken the Refinery down south. Do you know those two?”

“Yeah, we know them. That’s great! Cool. Guess Hurk finished his revenge quest then, huh?” Griffin nudged the Judge but they made no reply, they carefully put their bows in their quiver and strapped it to their back.

“A couple of my people found them afterwards and are now staying there to keep the place away from the Highwaymen,” Ethan continued, “I pray that nothing worse comes to them.”

“Yeah, same here. That’s good news though, one less outpost for the Highwaymen. Guess I have to take Hurk’s offer of being his and Sharky’s business partner,” Griffin made a face. 

“Business partner?”

“Something with alcohol and ethanol. I don’t drink, but they love it.”

“I see,” Ethan said, disinterested. He looked over at the Judge and narrowed his eyes.

“Judge, may I speak to you, privately, for a moment?” Ethan asked. The Judge grunted and stood up, following him outside. Griffin watched them go, curious, then got up, walking quietly to the edge of the entrance of the hut.

They haven’t walked too far away from the Judge’s home and even though they were speaking in hushed voices, Griffin could hear them through the quiet of the woods.

“What were you two talking about in there?”

“We were talking about the Shepherd’s journey north,” the Judge said, “as well as discussing the next plans the Father may hopefully take now that his return to Eden is more permanent than before.”

“Nothing else?” Ethan asked.

“No, nothing else.”

“I don’t believe you.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

“You have a very annoying habit of keeping things from me, secrets, things that would benefit your family.”

“Again-?”

“I am not wrong, am I?” Ethan interrupted.

“No. But do you need to do this here, right now? The Captain is just inside-“

What even is this about? Griffin shuffled himself closer to the doorway, straining to pick up every word.

“-do you even care if he heard you? He should be used to you keeping things away from him at this point.”

“I have nothing to hide from him anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes, I am sure,” the Judge said firmly.

“I noticed you have been spending a lot of time with those outsiders. You know, your old friends, the ones you have forsaken. I’m starting to think that maybe you have become bored with New Eden.”

“Why? My loyalty is with the Father and to New Eden! I am his Judge!” Griffin could hear the fear in their voice.

“For how long before the comforts that your friends still cling to draw you back to live the same sinful lives they live? How long before then, Judge? Perhaps I can make it easier and just tell everyone, here and now who exactly you are? That’ll make everyone turn on you, an easy solution for you. You can run back home to your old friends. What would the Father think when he finds out-“

“You wouldn’t.”

“But I could. I know what you did,” Ethan said.

“What do you mean? What did I do?” The Judge asked.

“Don’t play dumb. I know you threatened the Captain, multiple times, in fact. You may not like me-“

“I never said I didn’t like you!”

“Don’t you interrupt me! As I was saying, you may not like me but I do notice things. You thought doing what you did on the Island was going to stop what is happening, but it’s not.”

“If you are talking about the boats, that wasn’t me,” The Judge said, forcefully, “I would never do that.”

“I can’t believe you,” Ethan said, “You want to know what I think? I think you don’t want the Captain to succeed because if he fails then you would have failed to. You want the Father to exile you from New Eden-“

“But I don’t! I want to stop the Highwaymen! Joseph wouldn’t do that to me-“

“And yet you seem to have grown more comfortable being around your new family than your real one!” Ethan said, “You're never home and seem to not even care when father disappears up north over and over again! You save the sinners people before our own and have us wallow around in places that God has instructed us to abandon! How can I believe you?”

“Ethan, Stop-”

Griffin couldn’t hear another word of this shit. He walked out of the hut and towards the two.

“Hey, you better shut your fucking mouth right now!” Griffin yelled, jabbing a hand in Ethan’s direction.

“This does not concern you, outsider,” Ethan said, glaring at Griffin.

“Like hell it doesn’t,” he growled, “You have no right saying that kind of shit to the Judge.”

“I do when it involves the loyalty of my family!” Ethan said, “In case you don’t remember, somebody is trying to sabotage us!”

“So what, you’re going to blame the Judge for it?” Griffin yelled.

“Somebody has to look into this, considering you refuse to, and the facts seem clear enough to me!” Ethan yelled back.

“I never said I’m not looking into it, what happened on the Island was the whole fucking reason I came back here in the first place!” Griffin said, “but you can’t just point fingers and blame people because you don’t like them!”

“Sometimes it is the people we dislike who are in the wrong,” Ethan took a step towards Griffin but the Judge moved in front of him, silently standing there. Ethan gritted his teeth and stepped back, giving himself more distance away from the two of them. He gave them both a long look.

“Think about where your loyalties really lie,” Ethan said to the Judge, “you can’t keep your feet in two worlds forever.”

He turned and walked away, disappearing into the woods. Griffin gave a big huff.

“Grimy piece of shit,” he growled, “what does he even care, he couldn’t give two shits about this fight anyway, so long as he’s not the one in charge.”

The Judge made no reply, they walked back into their cabin and quietly shuffled some items on their table, pocketing a few things before walking back out the door. Griffin grabbed their sleeve as they walked past him.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked. The Judge stared at him for a long time before they gave a sigh.

“I’ll be fine. Can we just- get going. Please?”

“Sure,” Griffin said, letting go of them. The Judge began to walk away from him.

“What’s that thing Ethan said, about keeping secrets? Is he talking about your past?”

“No, Ethan cares not for who I was and what I did before the Collapse,” the Judge said.

“Then what’s the secret?”

The Judge started to walk into the woods and Griffin followed them.

“It was the book. I knew where it was the whole time,” the Judge said once they had entered the trees.

“Really?” Griffin said, surprised, “how?”

“Someone had to know if it was the right one, Eden’s Gate didn’t have one scripture to share with each other,” the Judge explained, “Joseph was gone for a long enough time that I went looking for him. I found him at the bunker where he was already preparing it for your arrival. Joseph told me what the Voice told him and instructed me to wait for the shepherd who would come to New Eden with the key.”

“Ethan damn well threw a fit when he saw that I found it, he wanted to be ‘the Prophet,’” Griffin said.

“Yes. Ethan wants New Eden’s loyalty and he knows he can’t get that while Joseph lives. Becoming our shepherd was his goal.”

“So he knew that you knew where it was,” Griffin realized. They had made it to the road and were now walking down it.

“He did,” the Judge replied, “he tried many ways to get its location from me, and grew more and more furious the longer I kept it from him. For that, he hates me almost as much as he loathes you and Joseph.”

“So here’s a question from me to you,” Griffin said, “if you knew where the book was this whole time, before I showed up, then how come you never grabbed it? You could of been Joseph’s Shepherd, brought him home earlier, may of gotten more done before me and Rush got to Hope County. You’re a bit of a bad ass by yourself, and since you knew everyone in Prosperity before, then maybe you could of gotten them to get along with the peggies faster than I could have. Why didn’t you do it?”

“Because the Shepherd was to be an outsider, I was told that much,” the Judge said, “and my job was not to retrieve the book. I am a Judge. I stayed faithful to Joseph, waiting for your arrival, and when you finally came, I greeted you at the door.”

“But Joseph saw you in his vision, I heard him say so that first night after we met,” Griffin said, “so it could of been you.”

“He saw me fighting at the side of the Shepherd, that is what he said, but he never gave me that information when I was first told of his prophecy,” the Judge shook their head, “that night you heard it was the first time I knew of that part of Joseph’s vision.”

“Well, I’m glad he made you come with me on our crazy adventure. It’s been fun.”

“After the first thirty to fifty times we butted heads?” The Judge said sarcastically.

“Yeah, those too, though I appreciate that you never went through with your threats to gut me,” Griffin said. 

“Truth be told, none of them were ever serious. I just wanted to get you to shut up,” the Judge said.

“Mission failed,” Griffin replied. The Judge gave a laugh and they continued on down the road, taking the path straight to Dutch’s Island.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ethan accusing the Judge of doing things that are not true is normal, nothing weird about that.
> 
> I kind of realized some stuff while working on this chapter that I didn’t notice before while working on To Hope that I honestly am grateful I found out about now rather than after I finish this story. Interpret it how you will.
> 
> Title is from Sleep Evil Sleep by Steam Powered Giraffe


	20. Living Under Changing Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Someday we will foresee obstacles  
>  Through the blizzard, through the blizzard  
> Today we will sell our uniform  
> Live together, live together_

The knife hit the board with a loud thunk, just missing its mark by only a couple of inches. Anna May gave a frustrated huff and picked up another one, throwing it and hitting closer to the target that was painted in the middle of the board.

It was mid day as shown by the light shining through the windows above. Jacob was the only person in the block besides her, pacing from side to side as he watched Anna May toss throwing knives at the board he had nailed to the prison walls. She had woken up that morning to him waiting for her at the entrance of her cell, knife in hand, insisting that she got the hang of it. Confused, Anna May had agreed, but they have been at it for hours and she was finally starting to feel wiped out, the constant aiming and throwing made her arms ache.

Anna May walked over to the knife filled board and started pulling them out, holding the small stack in one hand and walking over to the table where she placed them all down. Jacob stopped his pacing to watch her.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she announced. She grabbed one of the water bottles on the table and opened it, taking a long drink from the plastic bottle. She leaned against the table, watching Jacob approach the board, inspecting it. He shook his head in disapproval.

“You barely hit your target at all,” he said, “you need to try again.”

“We’ve been at it forever! I deserve a break, besides, I don’t see you training either,” Anna May huffed. Jacob made no reply, instead he approached her, staring into her eyes as he grabbed the small stack of knives. Then, he turned and began throwing them in quick succession until every knife was in the board again. One or two hit farther from their intended mark, but most of them were within the small painted circle Jacob had instructed Anna May to aim for. He turned to face her again, watching her. Anna May got off the table with a huff.

“Show off,” she muttered, and approached the board with the knives.

“Keep at it,” he grunted as she started to pull the knives back from the board. After pulling out the first one, Anna May lifted it and pointed it at him.

“What even is the point of this?” She asked, “I can throw a knife, I’ve done it before.”

“You’re sloppy,” Jacob said, “you lack the practice and the discipline. Someone has to make sure you’re prepared.”

“Yeah, but I much prefer a bow anyway,” Anna May replied.

“You won’t always have one on you.”

“And I certainly won’t be throwing around my only knife. Not everyone carries around an infinite supply,” Anna May shook her head. Jacob had walked around the table until he was on the opposite side of it, leaning down with his hands placed on it. He stood there and to watch her pull the last of the knives off of the board before he moved and sat down in a chair near him, Anna May sat across from Jacob, leaning back in the seat as she took another drink from the water bottle.

“You need to be prepared,” Jacob repeated. Anna May shrugged.

“I don’t know what I need to prepare for, other than another fight with the Highwaymen,” Anna May said, “the Twins are focusing on their outposts and we move so much that they can’t keep track of us. At this point, the war may be over in a month.”

“And you’re getting cocky,” Jacob continued. Anna May gave another huff but didn’t argue.

“You need to be better prepared for when the Twins show up again.”

“They are not going to-“

“Yes they will and you know it,” Jacob said sternly, staring at Anna May. She looked back at him then sighed.

“I’m more worried about things closer to home than what the Twins could be doing. They are the Captain’s issue.”

“And it is foolish to think that whatever he does at this point won't involve you as well. I thought you would have known better by now.”

“I do. I know,” Anna May said, “but they’re not interested in me. I’m not anyone’s target anymore.”

“And yet you feel threatened,” Jacob said.

“I do not.”

“You wouldn’t be talking to me if you didn’t,” Jacob pointed out.

“I guess. I don’t exactly summon you, speaking of that, how do you, John, and Faith get in here? You know you’re not allowed in the prison,” Anna May asked. Jacob raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t answer her question.

“And I don’t hate talking to you, but the constant vigilance lecture gets boring,” Anna May continued, “Don’t you have any other advice that’s not “train train train?””

“Don’t die,” Jacob replied.

“Very helpful.”

“If you want something more useful all you have to do is ask for it.”

“Then give me your wisdom, oh great Soldier,” Anna May said, with a flourish. Jacob didn’t look amused.

There came a distant boom then a flash outside, the room around them slowly glowed orange. Jacob looked unbothered by this, looking up at the windows briefly before looking back at Anna May, who was looking around in confusion and growing panic.

“Do the right thing,” Jacob finally said. He had gotten off his seat and walked around the table to Anna May, placing a hand on her shoulder and looking down at her.

There was a large rushing sound that seemed to fill the air, but Jacobs words still rang loudly and clearly through the room.

“Don’t let your guard down, even if you’re at New Eden or Prosperity, especially if you’re around Ethan. You made this mistake last time, do not think that some good victories mean that you’ll be ready for the final battle to come. You have much to do before this all finally ends for good.”

Anna May wanted to ask Jacob to elaborate, especially that part about Ethan, but didn’t get the chance to as the rushing noise grew unbearably loud before the wall exploded behind her.

——————

Dark clouds were just coming over Prosperity when Griffin and the group reached the gates. The guard up top called out a greeting, then jumped when he saw who Griffin brought with him. The man then disappeared from his perch.

Ethan and three peggies were waiting for Griffin, the Judge, and Rush that morning at New Eden’s gate, with Griffin and Rush back in their newly cleaned clothes. Griffin, at first, assumed that he was going to see them off, perhaps to do more hunting or a patrol, until Ethan said that he had wished to come with them to Prosperity.

This surprised everyone in the group, but Griffin had agreed, allowing the peggies to follow them home. Griffin wasn’t sure how Kim was going to like this, but he figures that it’s fair, after all, the peggies allowed him and Rush to come into New Eden.

Even with his agreement to allow him to join their group, Griffin was not happy to bring Ethan along. He had told Rush what had happened before the hunt, so he knew he had Rush to back him up when he needs him to, but whatever game Ethan was playing right now, Griffin wasn’t sure what was going to happen at home.

But why Ethan had wanted to come with him, however, he didn’t say, and Griffin wasn’t expecting an answer either. The man had walked with the group silently, listening in on Rush and Griffin’s conversation. The Judge stayed ahead of everyone else, leading the way to Prosperity. Griffin had a nagging feeling they were trying to avoid Ethan, but he couldn’t be sure, they haven’t said anything to him since his and Ethan’s argument the day before.

The gates opened and Kim and Nick were there, waiting for them. Nick glared at the peggies in front of him but didn’t say anything, letting Kim take a couple of steps forward to greet the Captain and the others.

“Captain. Rush,” Kim said, ignoring the peggies at the moment, “how are things out there?”

“No sign of the Highwaymen,” Rush said, “we avoided the main roads and stuck to the paths, but no patrols found us. How have things been here?”

“Quiet,” Kim said, “I was actually hoping you would come back soon, with all of the Highwaymen activity, we should look into upgrading our defenses as soon as possible, in case the Twins decide to make another visit. It is not like them to be this silent.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Rush said. Ethan, meanwhile, had walked up to where Griffin was standing and stood next to him, watching Kim and Rush’s conversation. Kim took a look at Ethan, studying him.

“Joseph Seed sent some of his men to…?”

“I wanted to come here on my own accord. We spoke on the radio a few days ago?”

“You’re Joseph’s son,” Kim said. Behind her, Nick had spit on the ground, but he continued to stay silent.

“Yes, well, this fight is my own as well as the Fathers. I felt it would be easier for us if we met in person to discuss our next move, rather than staying to just the radio Rush has so graciously provided us.”

Thunder boomed overhead and Kim looked up.

“Yes, well, we can talk more inside.”

“My people are allowed to come in?”

“Yes, unless you prefer to sleep in the woods,” Kim said. The peggies looked around warily as they stepped through the gate into Prosperity.

The settlement looked the same as ever, except now more wood and piles of cans of paint were stacked next to the old hanger. The walls were already partially painted a bright yellow, covering the old, gray-red color the wood originally had. 

Some people were still outside, preparing Prosperity for the thunderstorm that was rolling in. Roger and Selene were carrying things into the infirmary, Griffin could hear Roger give a loud, booming laugh at whatever Selene said to him, while Bean was busy rushing up and down the stairs to his station, talking to various people real quickly before leaving to the next. Griffin gave a small sigh then looked at the Judge.

“If you think you’re going to sleep on that roof in this rain, you’re out of your fucking mind,” he said. The Judge tilted their head and stared down at him, but he got the feeling that they were already thinking the same thing.

“There’s space in the hanger, over there,” Kim pointed to it, “just ask for Sharky Boshaw, he should show you where to go.”

“Eh, Kim, honey?” Nick said nervously, “That’s where Sharky makes his- are you sure that’s wise-?”

“Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs. Rye,” Ethan said. He nodded at the peggies and after a few mumbled thanks, they all went inside, still looking around the settlement with wide eyes.

“Now, shall we speak?” He asked. Kim nodded, and led him, Nick, Rush, Griffin, And the Judge back into the ranch.

More maps were placed along the table, covering more space than before on it. There wasn’t a fire burning in the fireplace this time, instead, candles lit up the space, providing some light to the increasingly dark space. Kim went to stand on her end of the table, Rush standing next to her on her left and Nick on her right. Griffin, Ethan, and the Judge were on the other side of the table.

Kim was rolling open a map when Carmina came down the stairs, looking surprised when she noticed who her parents were with.

“Cap, Rush!” She said, quickly running the rest of the way down and around the fireplace until she was at the table.

“Hey, kiddo. How have you been hanging?” Griffin asked.

“It’s good! I missed all of you. You have got to let me know what’s been going on. You left without telling me where you were going, I had to ask Mom to know what happened to you,” Carmina looked at Griffin then Rush. Griffin reached up to scratch the back of his head.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, “maybe next time we go out we-“

“Shepherd?” Ethan interrupted. He raised an eyebrow at them and Griffin rolled his eyes.

“Right, sorry about that,” Griffin said. Ethan relaxed and gave Kim a smile.

“The radio you gave us works, but not well enough,” Ethan said, “the signal was overlaid with static and we had trouble on reaching both yours and the Marina’s ends.”

“Yes, I noticed this as well,” Kim said, “I discussed with Wheaty on what we can do about it, communication and broadcasting is his specialty, but it’s useless to do anything without Signal Point anymore.”

“What’s Signal Point?” Griffin asked.

“Another Highwaymen outpost, not too far from Falls End,” Kim explained, “there’s still satellites that made it easier for us to stay connected to the rest of the world, and with each other. That signals been cut, however, ever since the Twins took it.”

“Taking the outpost would be most helpful to all of us,” Ethan agreed, “it is located high on a hilltop, easy to defend given that no group larger than a couple of people attack it. We can also use it to keep an eye on the roads.”

“I’ll have to call Wheaty about it,” Kim gave Ethan a glance. He gave her a nod.

“What else do we have then?” Griffin asked. Kim sighed.

“Quite a lot. Sacred Lumbar, Trailer Town, Broken Forge, the Pantry,” Kim listed.

“Empty Garden,” Ethan added.

“The Highwaymen have more places under their thumb. With how much they have and how little we do, we are going to have to plan our next moves carefully.”

“What about their prison, the Bullet Farm?” Rush asked. Kim quickly shook her head, even Nick look apprehensive.

“That is not a good idea, not now,” Kim said, “the Security is too high and the risk too much.”

“But we can save more people-“

“This isn’t like the Pet Pen, Outsi- Rush,” Ethan said, correcting himself, “The Pen was smaller, filled with small game that the Highwaymen didn’t care too much about. The Bullet Farm, however, isn’t just a prison, it’s a factory. All their ammo is created there and their security is higher than any outpost you have previously seen. An assault is a death sentence and even if we were to succeed, the death toll would be too high.”

“We are unfortunately going to have to sit this one out,” Kim said. Rush had opened his mouth the object, but after seeing all the looks in the room, he sighed.

“Yes, Fine,” He said.

“We can still take Signal Point,” Griffin said quickly. 

“Then we will attack there next,” Kim said, “Wheaty may be able to cut Highwaymen communication and that’ll be the last outpost close to Falls End we will need to worry about.”

“Good fuckin riddance to that,” Nick said, quietly. 

“I see. Then it is settled. When will we leave?” Ethan asked.

“Not until the storm has passed and we can shoot a message to Wheaty,” Griffin said, “you’re coming with us?”

“Of course. I’m assuming you, Rush, and the Judge will be joining us too?”

“And me,” Carmina said. Kim pressed her lips together but didn’t say anything.

“I will go find my people and let them know where we will be leaving to then,” Ethan said, “unless there is more to discuss?”

“No,” Kim said, “once the storm is over, we’ll call Wheaty and make plans to attack Signal Point.”

“Good. I will let my people know of this then. It was a pleasure speaking with you, Mrs. Rye,” Ethan turned and left, the wind howling briefly through the door before he closed it.

“You know I hate that you brought more peggies into Prosperity, right?” Kim said. Nick narrowed his eyes at Griffin, the Judge, and Rush.

“Ethan wanted to come, we’re trying to trust each other more, remember? And it’s not like I brought Joseph.”

“No, he’s not Joseph,” Kim agreed, “just keep an eye on them.”

“When am I not?” Griffin asked.

“Captain…”

“Alright, I will, I will.”

“Good.”

Griffin turned to the door and walked out, the Judge following right behind him. Rush stayed, talking more to Kim, Carmina, and Nick. Must be to upgrade Prosperity, Griffin could only figure.

The door had only just closed when the Judge tapped Griffin on the shoulder.

“Follow me,” they said, very quietly. Confused, Griffin watched them walk past him and climb a nearby ladder. Griffin followed after them as big heavy drops of water began to pour from the sky.

They waved him over to a door at the side of the ranch, one Griffin never went through before, and walked on in. It led to what was probably once a large master bedroom, the mattress to the bed was missing but the frame and headboard were still there, showing where a massive King sized bed use to lay. A large closet and dresser set was across from it, the doors and drawers flung open, all empty. Large, full cardboard boxes laid in random places across the room. Griffin took a look inside one and saw a familiar white book, less torn, but just as old as the one he owned.

From the looks of the room, everything was cleaned out purposely, though why the room isn’t being used for anything other than as a storage for what looks like old Eden’s Gate stuff, Griffin was curious to know.

“Your friend certainly liked the fancy stuff, didn’t he?” Griffin asked, casually, as the Judge looked around the room, “first the ranch, then the bedroom.”

“You should have seen his plane,” the Judge said, “John always had a thing for the more flairy stuff.”

“Cool. So, what’s up, why the secret meeting?” Griffin asked. The Judge crosses their arms.

“There's something I just want to know,” the Judge said, “what exactly are your plans for dealing with Mickey and Lou?”

“We take their outposts-“

“Yes I know that. I mean when they actually come, when they do want to fight you face to face, what is your plan? Do you know them well enough to be able to fight them? Are you prepared for if they come to seek you out? Do you plan on even seeking them out yourself?”

Griffin was stunned.

“Uh- well, I don’t know. I-I guess I could ask Gina what she knows, see how she thinks I should do things.”

“It’s one thing for you to do that, but you have seen the Twins twice so far-“

“Three times,” Griffin corrected.

“Three times, Yes, but what have you _learned_?” the Judge asked.

Griffin had to sit for a moment and think.

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted, “Mickey doesn’t seem as willing to just, you know, kill everyone like Lou is, she told me to just leave Hope County alone a couple of times, but that really is it. I don’t know much else about them. Why are you asking this?”

“Because the Twins are not going to wait until we take everything before they strike,” the Judge said, “there’s only so much you can take from them before they have had enough and attack you back. They tried to kill everyone here once, You have to be ready when they try to do it again.”

“Were you ready when you went and fought the Seeds?”

“No, I was not, but I got better at anticipating what’s to come every time they went and sought me out. Until our final fights, none of them tried to kill me, though I have to thank Joseph for that. You don’t get to have that luxury though, I had the chance to fail and try again, to plan better, even if I wasn’t always successful, but once the Twins seek you out to finally end all of this, that’s it, and you have to be ready to make the right calls.”

“I get it, I do, I really do,” Griffin said. Geez, he never thought of it like that. Hell, fighting the Twins didn’t really feel like something he was going to have to do. Part of him hoped they would just give up, but he knows they never will. Hope County is too valuable to the Highwaymen, to abandon it would make them look weak.

“I’m glad you’re taking this seriously,” The Judge said. Griffin gave a snort.

“You thought it's all just fun and games with me twenty-four seven?”

“You act like you don’t care at all, sometimes.”

“I do, but it all comes down to just what can we really do? If something is causing problems, it’s causing problems, you either figure it out or you ignore it until you have a solution.”

“An odd way to look at it,” the Judge muttered. Griffin shrugged.

Thunder booked outside again and a flash of lighting lit up the dark room. Griffin looked outside.

“I haven’t seen a thunderstorm in forever,” he commented, “they’re much more vicious now than before the Collapse.”

“They are,” the Judge agreed.

“Hey, you know though, I do think things are going to look up from here, not to toot my own horn,” Griffin said, “so long as things stay smooth for now on, it'll all work out in the end. You’ll be back home in New Eden doing your thing, and me and Rush will be off on another crazy adventure, just you wait.”

Lightning flashed, lighting the dark room up briefly.

“Let’s hope you’re right,” The Judge replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s all pretend that that once cut scene after taking John’s Ranch in FC5 doesn’t show a Resistance member burying all the photos and stuff in John’s Ranch. In To Hope cannon, that never happened. All the Eden’s Gate stuff is still there. 
> 
> I know the last few chapters are slow but things will pick up, don’t you all worry, and when they do.
> 
> Oh boy.
> 
> Chapter title is from Obstacles by Syd Matters


	21. Awaiting Your Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Every night again  
>  Dancing with the moonlight  
> Somewhere far away  
> I can hear your call_

Griffin helped the Scavenger lift the Highwayman corpse up in the air, him grabbing the ankles while the other the wrists, and tossing it down the hill, letting the corpse join the others at the bottom. The animals can go have at them.

Griffin stretched, happy that was the last body they had to get rid of, and turned to look out at the outpost. Signal Point was the easiest they have taken yet, the combined forces of both the peggies and the Scavengers proved to be too great of a match for the Highwaymen who had been guarding it. They had only stayed there for a day, but already, a new settlement was starting to take form.

The dome like structure had a few holes punched through it, but it still provided great protection from the elements for their outdoor equipment. The peggies and Ethan, as well at the Judge, stayed outside away from the two larger buildings in the middle of the dome, preferring to sleep out by a campfire than inside. 

What was better was when Wheaty showed up with some men from the Marina. He got to work immediately, working on communications between Signal Point, Prosperity, the Marina, New Eden, to every taken settlement. It’s not the best, but for almost eighteen year old equipment, it did its job perfectly.

Wheaty was pouring over a large collection of radios right now, a mic placed in front of him that he muttered into while he looked around. Ethan stood nearby, leaning against a metal post casually, watching him.

“Hey, what’s been going on?” Griffin asked as he approached them.

“I’ve been wanting to get us new music to listen to on the radio,” Wheaty said, “I used to do it all the time, back with the Whitetail Militia. I don’t have much to work with anymore, but I want to play stuff everyone likes. Hey, Ethan!” Wheaty called. Ethan raised an eyebrow at Wheaty.

“I don’t have any of the old Eden’s Gate stuff you guys used to play. Are you all still into the Platters?”

“The what?”

“Uh, never mind, don’t worry about it!” Wheaty said quickly, “what about you, Captain?”

“Got any smooth jazz?”

“Ew, please tell me you’re not serious?” Wheaty pulled a face.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Griffin said, raising his hands, “I don’t really care, I don’t listen to music much anyway.”

“Sweet, I can play what I want then. You’re the best, Cap,” Wheaty said, and went back to looking at his radios. Griffin left him and Ethan and started to wander through Signal Point, making his way up some stairs to a ledge.

Everything was peaceful. People were finishing up the last bit of cleaning the settlement needed, some peggies were chatting with a couple of Scavengers. Griffin spotted the Judge and Carmina, who was telling them something exciting from what Griffin could tell from where he is at. Rush stood nearby, every once in a while he would laugh at something Carmina would say. Griffin watched him for a moment longer, perhaps for too long, before shaking his head and looked back around at the rest of the settlement.

It was nice, peaceful even.

“Outsider.”

Well, that was nice while it lasted. Ethan had left his spot to follow Griffin and went to stand next to him, looking around at the rest of the settlement.

“Hey, what is it?” Griffin asked, his voice coming out a little harsher than he had intended it to.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t mind me taking some of our people to scout is all,” Ethan said, his eyes widening a little to the tone in Griffin’s voice.

“What-? Oh, yeah sure, go ahead,” Griffin said.

“You are not still angry with me, are you?”

“You’re not exactly happy with me either.”

“I had my reasons for what I did.”

“No, you really didn’t,” Griffin turned to face Ethan.

“After how you two have been behaving with each other, I had my suspicions,” Ethan said, “the Judge belongs with New Eden, the Father is insistent on it, and we don’t like it when that trust is broken.”

“Listen I already had my whole spiel with your dad about all of that stuff with the Judge and what he does and doesn’t want them to do,” Griffin said, “And I’m not in the mood to get into one with you. You’re wrong about them, they don’t plan on betraying New Eden. End of discussion. Good day.”

“I may have been wrong,” Ethan admitted.

“Glad we got that covered-“

“But you cannot honestly tell me that you didn’t think they may have been behind sabotaging us at the Island, or that the thought has not crossed your mind.”

“I already thought they could of done it but I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you now if I still thought so,” Griffin said, “do me a favor and maybe share your theories with someone before you try to play Sherlock, will you?”

“If that makes you happy,” Ethan said.

“It would make me very happy. So, do you have any other ideas on who it could of been?”

“That man in charge of the Marina, one of your people, the pastor, Wheaty, any of them. Maybe one of my own,” Ethan added, as an afterthought.

“Great, so basically everyone but you, me, Carmina, and the Judge,” Griffin said, “very narrow.”

“We haven’t had much to look into. This was the only time they have striked, who is to say they will even strike again?”

“Better to sort this mess out than to leave it. I’m really hoping it was just the Highwaymen trying to fuck with us.”

“Well, now that we have our theories shared, I will be taking my leave. I’m taking two of my men and one of yours, we should return home by sundown, if that is preferable for you?”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead, go nuts,” Griffin replied, “hey, if you see anyone out there needing help, give them a hand, will you? Don’t leave them hanging.”

“I am not a coward, Outsider, I can assist other outsiders when necessary,” Ethan said, annoyed.

“Great. Have fun,” Griffin gave Ethan a grin that quickly vanished when he turned and left. God, there was something about talking to that kid that infuriated him, must be the holier than thou attitude. How New Eden dealt with it, he had to wonder.

“Cap!” Carmina yelled. She was waving him over to where she, The Judge, and Rush were at.

“Take a break, come hang out with us!”

Griffin smiled.

“Yeah, I’m coming!”

———————

Ethan’s group returned just after dark.

Griffin was standing at the top of one of the buildings, surveying the brightly lit settlement, the final touches of wiping away the Highwaymen’s touch done and now the place was starting to look like a proper home. Of course, they’ll have to repaint everything, but that’s all in due time, there was still plenty of other things to do in Hope County, things more important than a new paint job.

He had been thinking more about what The Judge had said yesterday about the Twins. Their movements have already been proven to be hard to predict, appearing in one place unannounced and causing a mess before leaving. They move fast and they hit hard, but none of that says anything much about the Twins themselves, other than that they’re unpredictable, and that doesn’t give him an idea on how he can fight them. He will have to talk with Rush about that later.

Then there was still the topic of whose been sabotaging them. Ethan was right, nothing has happened since the Island, but they should had been looking into it more than they have been. Griffin thought back to everyone on the Island who was there, he had a few guesses for who it could of been. It might of been Crusty, but Griffin doubts it, the men that arrived with Wheaty could have done it, or one of the peggies Ethan brought with him. Maybe Ethan did it.

No, as much as Griffin wants to think that’s true, he can’t really see it. He has enough stakes in this war to not want them to fail. It had to be the Highwaymen, who else would try to trap them on that Island, though why they would leave one boat, Griffin certainly didn’t know.

Griffin saw Ethan, the two peggies, and the scavenger appear from the dark. One of the peggies was carrying some rabbits, but everyone else was empty handed. They really didn’t need the food, but Griffin’s stomach rumbled, reminding him that he hasn’t eaten yet today.

He started to climb down from the top of the building to the ground. A campfire was already lit and the peggie with the rabbits had sat down, already in the process of skinning one of them. The other peggie had wandered off but Ethan and the scavenger remained nearby.

“Hell yeah, I’m starving,” Griffin said.

“Just got ‘em too,” the Scavenger said, a sturdy man who looked to be in his early fifties to late fourties, “a whole group of them ran onto the road. These will make a nice meal, they will.”

“I appreciate it,” Griffin said. Ethan said nothing, sitting next to the fire.

“So, how was the patrol?” Griffin asked. Ethan looked up.

“Nothing to report. Everything is quiet in Eden, thank the Father,” Ethan gave the Scavenger a glance.

“It was boring as hell! We went as far west as Falls End, stayed there for a little bit to chat with Axel, the peggies went and did their thing, then we headed back. We wanted to try going south after that, but the sun was setting. That’s when we saw the rabbits. The peggies aren't half bad,” the Scavenger pointed at the peggie near him, “got those rabbits quick, just, bam! Dead.”

“We have been training to hunt since a very young age, we have grown accustomed to reacting quickly when we need to,” the peggie, another older man, said, blushing slightly.

“You could teach the kids around here a thing or two,” The man huffed. The peggie gave him a smile.

“Sounds good,” Griffin said. 

“Is that rabbit?” Carmina asked, walking up to the fire, “Great! I’m starving.”

Eventually, more Scavengers, the rest of the peggies, Rush, and the Judge approached the fire too. Ethan left when the group grew bigger, loud conversation filled the air as people chatted with one another. The Judge, having received their own portion of the rabbit, had left to go eat somewhere privately when Wheaty showed up.

“Man, I am hungry,” he said, and was handed one of the legs of the rabbit, only slightly charred.

Everything was good. Griffin laughed with the others, finishing his meal and listening to stories from the early days of the Collapse. The Aurora Borealis shown through the open spaces in the roof of Signal Point, even with the campfires light brightening the camp. Griffin looked up at it, thinking that nothing at this moment can go wrong.

He had thought the same thing back at Prosperity once.

It was like he had jinxed it, one moment, as happy and content as a kid at their birthday party, the next, every positive emotion gone and replaced with fear as Griffin spotted the familiar flares of the Highwaymen peeking through the roof holes.

Griffin jumped to his feet, a few people were watching him in alarm. A couple more, who have also noticed the flares exploding above them, stood up too, rushing away from the campfire and through the settlement, trying to find a weapon before they are attacked.

They held them off once before, they can do it again, was Griffin’s only thought as everyone ran. He made his way to the nearest house where he had been staying, locating the sawlauncher he had left in there. Griffin grabbed it and ran back outside as more people started to group around. Some of the peggies perched themselves at the top of one of the buildings, aiming around them. The other Scavengers were by makeshift barricades, waiting for the Highwaymen.

Ethan had returned and was looking around. He spotted the Captain and ran to him.

“What’s going on?” He asked, pulling his own bow out.

“Highwaymen attack,” Griffin said. Ethan cursed under his breath as the sound of gunfire filled the air.

Griffin turned to the source of the noise and felt his blood freeze. 

There were tons of Highwaymen, all standing at the edge of the woods, watching them, and that’s just from where he was looking. Griffin could hear yells behind him and he knew, if he turned around, he would see more. They were surrounded.

But why were they waiting? This confused Griffin, until he saw exactly why.

A familiar bike came into view, the vehicle carried two passengers, one in pink and the other in blue. They casually stepped out of their vehicle and lifted their helmets off of their faces. 

All Griffin could do as Mickey and Lou smirked at him was brace himself for the ferocious fight that was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slow Chapter but I want to consider this the kick off for the rest of the story. Who knows what will happen next
> 
> Chapter Title is from The Wolf by SIAMES


	22. Love Will Tear Us Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And it's a quarter past twelve  
>  And you said we'd leave this place in dust  
> And fall from heaven straight through hell  
> We never know what we have  
> We never knew what we had_

The Judge had only left to go eat, that was it. On the top of the old house, nobody could see them, even though they could see everyone else. But even they were confused when the Scavengers and Peggies had started to yell, running away from the campfire to go grab their weapons.

They had first thought a fight had broken out among the group and had pulled their mask back on, ready to help the Captain break it up, but the explosions above revealed to them what the real source of their sudden panic was.

The Judge climbed down the building and made it to Griffin as the Twins revealed themselves. They stopped right next to him, realizing exactly just how outnumbered they really are.

“Well well well, I’ll be damned! They were right!” Mickey said, her voice raised so everyone could hear her speak, “We were promised some rabbits, and here they all are!”

Promised? The Judge gave Griffin a confused look, but he was focused on the Twins, not taking his eyes off of them.

“You don’t want to get in a fight! Take your people and go, before any of you get killed!” Griffin yelled. The Highwaymen around them started to laugh, their laughter echoed loudly in the dome like structure. Mickey and Lou laughed with them.

“You’re not in a position to be making propositions, rabbit,” Mickey yelled back, “I gave you the chance to leave, remember my last one, after you destroyed our prison?” 

“You’re going to wish you had taken that. We don’t take too kindly to people breaking our shit!” Lou said. The Highwaymen cheered. Carmina has edged her way to them, standing on The Judge’s left, and Rush came to stand on Griffin’s right. Ethan, however, stood a ways behind all of them, watching the Twins with narrowed eyes.

The Judge looked down at Carmina right next to them before they looked at Griffin. This looked bad, really bad. The Highwaymen had the numbers, how the Twins knew they were there, the Judge didn’t know, but they were here, and the people at Signal Point were completely outnumbered.

Griffin reached out and grabbed Rush’s hand, getting his attention.

“I don’t think we can take on this many people, not with what we have,” Griffin said.

“We’re going to have to. They won’t let us leave alive otherwise,” Rush said grimly.

“Come on, Cap, we took down twice as many of these bozos when we found Sharky, and it was only you, me, and the Judge,” Carmina said, determined, “they’re not even worth half of one of us.”

Even with the conviction in her voice, however, Carmina Rye sounded scared. The Judge’s grip on their bow tightened.

Gunshots went off behind them and the Highwaymen in the front raised their weapons. The Judge grabbed Carmina and practically tossed her behind one of the upturned cars that the Highwaymen had dragged into Signal Point and dived behind it after her. Yells from Griffin, Rush, and Ethan told them that they too had ran for cover. Highwaymen started to run into Signal Point, many of the ones without guns held shields and metal bats. 

The edge of the Judge’s vision took on a yellow glow as they grabbed an arrow and turned, quickly firing it into the throat of an upcoming Highwayman. The body fell and more bullets poured in their direction, forcing them to take cover again.

“What do we do!?” Carmina yelled. The Judge looked out in front of them.

The Scavengers and peggies were fighting viciously but the numbers were too overwhelming. A peggie fell from his perch on the building, hitting the ground and not moving, while most of the Scavengers were hiding away from the constant gunfire of the Highwaymen. The Judge couldn’t see Wheaty, Griffin, Rush, or Ethan anywhere.

They have to get to the Twins, if they can kill them now, then maybe they can end this for good. The thought lodged itself into the Judges brain and they took a glance around the car.

The Twins have not even moved from their spot. Mickey had taken out a rifle and was shooting up at the peggies above, while Lou was joining in on the fight in front of her, taking shots at the cowering Scavengers as her men moved closer.

The Judge gave a loud grunt and looked at Carmina, pointing down.

“I’m not staying here!” Carmina said.

The Judge gave a growl and pointed at the ground again, this time more forcefully.

“You gotta be shitting me! You’re not my mom!”

They didn’t have time for this. The Judge grabbed the front of Carmina’s shirt and dragged her close. Her eyes widened as they leaned in.

“Stay. Here,” they growled.

“I can’t just stay here while-“

“I’ll take care of it, Carmina.”

“Wh- Okay,” Carmina said, bewildered. The Judge let go of them, Carmina still watching them with wide eyes. The Judge knew they were going to regret that later, but they can’t let her get hurt. They chanced another peek at the Twins.

They were now stepping into the settlement, taking slow steps forward as they continued to fire at the Scavengers and peggies around them. The Judge leaned back and sighed, putting away their bow before dashing forward, eyeing the ledge to the building on their left. They could hear Mickey shout something and more gunfire, but the Judge kept running, taking one massive leap and grabbing the ledge. 

The Judge pulled themself up and rolled away from the ledge, avoiding more gunfire that was being sent up to them. Lou had separated from Mickey and was walking up to the building, aiming the gun where the Judge had disappeared. The Judge stood up and darted inside before Lou had a chance to shoot at them again.

The building was made from old shacks and storage containers, no proper lighting was inside, which was good, the Judge could use the cover. They heard a grunt behind them and saw a pair of hands holding the ledge. The Judge ran to a wall and pulled out their knife, waiting.

Lou had barely stepped into the room before the Judge lunged at her, one hand reaching and grabbing at the rifle she held, while trying to drive the knife into Lou’s neck with the other. The Judge’s knife hand was grabbed by Lou’s free one and they began to struggle.

At one point, Lou managed to wretch the rifle away from the Judge and lifted it into the air, trying to aim it at them. The Judge knocked the gun out of her hand and it flew off to the side.

Lou brought up her fist and punched the Judge in the side of the head. The blow barely registered to them until they got hit a second time, the next one causing the Judge to see stars. 

The Judge could see the yellow glow fading away and realized that they had to get away from her now. The Judge stomped hard on Lou’s foot, causing her to yell, and yanked their other arm out of her grip. They turned and ran out the door, but felt a huge weight grab them from behind, pushing the both of them off of the building.

The Judge fell on their stomach and felt the wind get knocked out of them. The yellow glow was completely gone now. They gasped, trying to suck in air, but didn’t have the chance to recover before they felt them self being turned around. The knife was pulled from their grasp, and the Judge was barely able to grab Lou’s hands before she tried to plunge it into the Judge’s heart.

They struggled like that for what the Judge thought was an eternity, the blade of the knife hovering so dangerously close to their chest as Lou sat on top of them, trying to stab them. The Judge began to panic, it was incredibly hard for them to breath with Lou sitting on them and the effort to keep her from killing them. Where was the Captain? Where was Rush or Carmina? The Judge couldn’t see the fight around them. The noise from it was loud, and it only continued to grow.

The knife had almost gotten into them when someone grabbed Lou and pulled her to her feet. It was Mickey.

“We need to get the hell out of here!”

“What the fuck-!?”

“They called in back up! Leave the fucking hippie and let’s move!”

Lou tossed the knife and ran with her sister. The Judge got up and looked around for it, but by the time they grabbed the knife, the Twins were gone. The Judge cursed and turned around, looking at the fight around them. 

The Judge didn’t get a good look around. A Highwaywoman armed with a metal bat came running at them, bleeding from her head. She swung the bat them, hitting them in the shoulder. The Judge rolled with the blow, falling on the ground and quickly getting back to their feet before lunging at the woman, plunging the knife into her open stomach.

“FUCK!” She screamed and grabbed at the Judge’s hand. They pulled it out and the woman dropped the bat, falling to the ground and clutching her wound.

The Judge backed up and looked around, but there wasn’t much of a fight going on around them anymore. A few wounded and crying Highwaymen, peggies, and Scavengers sat among the corpses of their fallen friends, but many others were still standing. The last few Highwaymen were making their way back into the woods, abandoning their hurt comrades to the Scavengers.

The Judge felt a wave of relief when they saw Griffin, Rush, and Carmina together. Carmina, thank the Father, was unscathed but looked shaken. Griffin had a brilliant black eye and Rush’s clothes were splattered in blood, but they both looked unharmed otherwise. Wheaty appeared and ran up to the group as the Judge approached them.

“Got to the radio, just as they showed up!” He said, looking relieved, “Luckily, Pastor Jerome and the peggies were nearby, and people from Falls End should be here soon too.”

“That’s a relief,” Griffin said. He looked exhausted. He noticed the Judge and gave a laugh.

“Where the hell were you?”

“They were fighting the Twins,” Carmina said, shooting them a glance. The Judge stared at her.

“Did you get any of them?” Rush asked. The Judge shook their head and Rush sighed.

“We have to be more prepared. Next time.”

“Alright. Hey, I’m going to give Kim and Tammy a call, let them know what happened, okay?” Wheaty ran away from the group, the Judge watched him leave before they started to look around, trying to see Ethan. They reached over and poked Griffin. 

“Yeah?”

The Judge waved a hand at the people around them and he shrugged.

“If you’re talking about the wounded, Pastor Jerome has it taken care of. We’ll be keeping these Highwaymen as prisoners, maybe figure out who sent that tip to the Twins, and rebuild our defenses here.”

“We were betrayed?” Ethan asked as he approached the group. He was holding a wound on his arm, blood streamed through his fingers and dripped onto the ground. 

“You need to get that wrapped up,” Rush said, concerned, he reached out to Ethan but he backed away from Rush, giving Griffin a hard glare.

“We were betrayed?” He asked Griffin, again. He nodded and Ethan gave a huff.

“I gave you my reasons, maybe you’ll finally start listening to me, outsider,” Ethan glared at the Judge before he turned and walked away.

“Prick,” Griffin muttered.

“What was that about?” Rush asked. Griffin and the Judge gave each other a look, the Judge nodded at Griffin and he sighed.

“Ethan has it in his head that the Judge was the ones who broke the boats and now, I’m assuming, the one to betray us.”

“Why?”

“It’s cause of our-,” Griffin stopped himself and shook his head, giving the Judge another, apologetic glance, before he spoke again.

“Me and the Judge didn’t really see eye to eye at first, but things have changed. I trust them and they trust me, and I know they wouldn’t have done any of this.”

“How do you know?” Carmina asked, looking over at the Judge, an eyebrow raised at them.

“I just do. The Judge is completely loyal to Joseph, if they were the ones sabotaging us then they would be doing it because Joseph wants them to, not on their own accord, and Joseph hates the Highwaymen as much as we do.” 

The Judge nodded.

“Whether or not that’s true or not,” Rush said, cutting Carmina off before she can speak, “the fact is we have a problem, a big one at that. Someone told the Twins where we are, possibly the same person who broke the boats at the Island. We need to find out who did this.”

“I know, I know,” Griffin said, “Ethan is really hung up on finding them.”

“Good, we should of been too,” Rush said, “this could have been very nasty if Wheaty had not acted as quickly as he did.”

“Thank God for the peggies,” Griffin muttered. He sighed.

“We can’t just stand around here, let’s go help these people out.”

The Judge nodded and walked off, looking around at the bodies that littered the ground. Most of them were Highwaymen, but a couple of Scavengers were there as well. The Judge’s heart sanked when they saw the body of the peggie from earlier, a young, thin man with raven black hair, his green eyes open and staring at the dome’s ceiling above him. 

The Judge bent down and put their hand to his face, closing his eyes. New Eden will grieve for him. The Judge went to grab his wrists, ready to drag the body away, when one of the Scavengers, a young woman, came and helped them, grabbing the man’s ankles and lifting him up.

“We’ll be burying our people tonight, together,” The woman said.

The Judge’s heart hurt for all of them, but the pain lessened at the Scavengers words. They gave a nod and the two of them carried the body over to where more of the dead were being laid in a row.

Pastor Jerome was nearby, head bowed, eyes closed, praying. After the Judge dropped the body, they walked over to join him, standing silently next to the row of corpses.

They have to prevent this from happening again, no more loses, no more deaths. When the Judge meets the Twins again, they’ll be ready to end it, before another catastrophe like Signal Point happens again.

——————

The next week flew by so fast. Signal Point was now secure and the Scavengers and peggies both were determined to put an end to any large scale attacks from the Highwaymen once and for all. 

Griffin could only be relieved that more people were not lost in that fight but was also extremely grateful for Wheaty’s quick thinking and the arrival of the peggies. If they haven’t showed up, who knows what would've happened to everyone. 

Even so, Griffin was on edge, getting less sleep in the next few nights, almost certain each breeze was the Twins coming to find him and his friends again. Going back to Falls End helped, and he was able to sleep easier, knowing the town was now strong enough to withstand a siege if they had to.

But the Twins have been silent, unusually silent. No threats were sent to Griffin via radio, no other ambushes at different outposts, and the Highwaymen’s previous activities have not changed at all. Griffin couldn’t tell what game they were playing and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to find out.

Ethan had left for New Eden on his own the morning after the attack. Griffin didn’t understand why he wanted to go with his injury, not that there was much of a welcome to his arrival from the Scavengers anyway, but the other peggies did not seem bothered by his departure, in fact, they seemed to be getting along well enough with the other Scavengers. If anything good had to come out of the attack, at least it was that. 

Rush, with some of the peggies, had headed back home to Prosperity the day Ethan left as well, something about bouldering it’s defenses in the event that the Twins decide to attack the settlement again. Carmina had left with him and it was just him and the Judge at Falls End, both of them resting and working on keeping the town secure, but with little activity, they didn’t have much to do.

Griffin was finally starting to see out of his right eye again and figured he and the Judge may as well go back home. The Judge has been silent since the attack, most of the time they spent outside of any construction was towards them firing arrows at a board they propped against a wall at the nearby church. Griffin wasn’t so sure what they were training for, they were so good at fighting anyway, but if it kept them calm, then he will leave them to it. He hasn’t had the time to ask them about what went down with the Twins, but he wasn’t sure if they wanted to talk about it yet, it is always hard to tell with them.

Griffin and the Judge were heading up the dirt path to Prosperity when he noticed someone at the gate. Rush was waiting outside of Prosperity, a large grin on his face. Griffin stopped right in front of him and laughed.

“What are you doing out here?” Griffin asked. The Judge walked past the two of them and through the gates. Griffin was about to go through with them when Rush stopped him.

“I want to show you something, but it’s a surprise,” Rush said.

“Oh-? Okay,” Griffin said.

“You have to cover your eyes. No peeking” Rush said, and walked behind Griffin. Griffin could see Rush’s hands, just for a second, before his vision went dark. 

“Okay, Okay, I'll bite. What is it you’re trying to show me, man?”

“Give me a second- and keep your eyes closed- I have to open the gate.”

Griffin obliged and he heard the creaking of wood as Rush pushed the gate open. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he began to walk forward.

He continued to walk, at one point Rush stopped to warn him of upcoming stairs, and Griffin realized he was leading him inside the ranch. They stopped at what he could only assume was the entrance.

“Am I allowed to open my eyes now?” Griffin asked.

“Yeah- wait! ….Ok, now you can.”

Griffin opened his eyes and looked around the room, pleasantly surprised.

The living room of the ranch was decorated in lights that bathed everything in a soft golden glow. Two trees grew from large pots in front of the unlit fireplace and on top of that hung a banner showing an image of a rising sun. The room was clean, new maps laid on the table in front of Griffin and the shelves were tidy. It felt warm. It felt like… home.

Griffin looked around, amazed, as Rush stepped around him and began to talk.

“I thought we could bring some kind of moral booster to Prosperity, set up some lights and plants, let it feel almost like the old days, before the Collapse. Kim’s been wanting to make this place feel more like home but never had the time to between fighting the Highwaymen and leading the Scavengers, anyway, I think I did a good job-“

Griffin kind of zoned out and was just watching Rush talk now, not really paying attention to what he was actually saying, just watching the way Rush spoke, the smile he wore as he talked about Prosperity’s upgrades, how his eyes lit up the more ideas he got just while talking, Griffin drew it all in. 

“Hey, Griffin, are you listening?”

Rush stood there, looking at him in concern. Griffin gave his head a shake.

“Yeah, everything’s good, I’m just- taken aback by it all. It’s very nice,” Griffin said quickly, feeling his face grow red. Rush laughed and took a couple steps towards him, watching Griffin.

“Listen, I just want to say, everything you have been doing, all the work you did with New Eden and this war, I appreciate it, I really do.”

“It’s no problem, really. You know me, I’m with you through thick and thin,” Griffin said.

“I know, as you like to remind me,” Rush rolled his eyes, “but I really need to say it again. Things have been rough, especially after the Twins last ambush. I was scared that was going to be it, that it was going to be my last fight. I’ll never get to see Mila again, or Sacramento, or help more people rebuild. Everything was going to be lost, but I could also have lost you too. You’re one of the most important people in my life, the idea of not having you by my side anymore, it scares me.”

“I- I really don’t know what to say,” Griffin stammered, “I was scared too. If Carmina or the Judge or you have died, I don’t know what I would have done.”

God what was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he say anything right, rather than stuttering out some half baked reply to every one of Rush’s comments. He never had this much trouble talking to him before. Maybe it was the lighting or something else, but Griffin suddenly found himself very aware of Rush, how he talked to him, how close he was getting

Rush didn’t seem to notice. He had not taken his eyes off of Griffin’s face and he couldn’t look away from his either. He was close enough now that Griffin could kiss him if he wanted to. Maybe he did.

Griffin didn’t get the chance to act on such an impulsive thought, however. The doors to the ranch opened and Nick, Carmina, and Kim walked on through.

“Cap, you’re back!” Carmina exclaimed, running over to give him a hug.

“I told you,” Nick said, smiling and raising an eyebrow at Griffin, “how have you been hanging, partner?”

“Better now that I’m back here,” Griffin replied. He cleared his throat and took a quick step away from Rush, trying to act casual.

“That’s good to hear. I heard you and your friend really embarrassed the shit out of those Twins,” Nick said.

“Just the Judge. I got separated from them when the fighting started.”

“Well, at least the peggies are doing their jobs, I can give them that,” Nick huffed, “I saw your friend leave Prosperity a moment ago and went off to go shoot at things by the hanger. Is everything alright with them?”

“Huh? Oh, I uh, don’t really know. I could go talk to them...” Griffin said. He gave Rush an apologetic look.

“I gotta go…”

“Go ahead. Let’s talk more later, okay?” Rush said. Griffin nodded and turned to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s stuff I’m not the best at writting but what am I to do?
> 
> I am so excited for the next chapter
> 
> Title is from Quarter Past Midnight by Bastille


	23. Take Him Out Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Now dance, fucker, dance  
>  He never had a chance  
> And no one even knew  
> It was really only you_

Griffin was given a few moments to compose himself before he left through the gates of Prosperity. He took a left and followed the wall for a distance until he found the Judge, right where Nick said they were.

They had brought their board with them to Prosperity and now had it propped against the impressive wreck of an old plane. The dirt around the area was torn up and a trail from the hanger next to it showed that the plane was dragged outside recently, probably once they had started construction of Sharky’s new workplace. 

The Judge now was practicing, again, by shooting arrows at the board, silent every time they hit the small target, and cursing under their breath every time they missed.

“Maybe we should get Jess up here to coach you again, you said she was a good motivator,” Griffin said, causing the Judge to jump.

“Huh-? Yeah, sure she is,” the Judge said. They looked up and down at him.

“You look flustered.”

“Wh-What? No!” Griffin exclaimed.

“Was it Rush?”

“No!” Griffin said, feeling his face grow red again. He looked away from the Judge.

“Are you sure? Something seems to be bothering you, and I saw you go inside together. Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened, nothing, like, romantic, or anything of the like, at all!” Griffin insisted.

The Judge stared at him for a moment.

“I never mentioned anything about it being romantic,” they said, and went back to their target practice. Griffin gave a huge huff and watched them for a bit before he spoke again.

“Hey, is everything alright? Nick said you’ve been acting pretty funny and you haven’t really said a word since we were at Signal Point. You’re not upset at that whole thing with Ethan still, are you?” Griffin asked, not moving from his spot. The Judge shot their arrow, missing the board completely, and sighed, bowing their head before turning to face Griffin, then lifting it back up again.

“No, I’m not. I know he’s wrong, even if he keeps trying to convince me that he’s right.”

“Then what’s with the aggressive archery practice?” Griffin asked.

“It’s none of your-“ The Judge had begun to say, then relaxed, giving a long sigh.

“No, no, you deserve to know, that’s okay,” they muttered, “it’s the Twins and what happened at Signal Point.”

“Yeah, I’ve been wondering about that. What exactly went down?” Griffin walked over to the plane wreck and leaned against one side of it.

“I got Lou away from Mickey and we fought. I tried to kill her, but she got to me first. If we didn’t have back up or if Mickey had decided to let Lou finish me off-“ the Judge cut their self off and sighed again.

“My only thought was to try and end all of this there, that was it. I rushed in, like an idiot, and almost got myself killed.”

“But you didn’t.”

“That is not the point, Captain, I almost did. I got careless, and I can’t let that happen again. I need to be prepared.”

Griffin thought about it for a moment. They were right, of course. They have been getting careless, taking back from the Highwaymen without preparing for retaliation. They have to do better.

“Yeah, you’re right, we were unprepared for that attack,” Griffin said.

“We need to be better, train more, be ready to fight at a moments notice, because the Twins are not going to give us one,” the Judge said.

“It’ll be easier if we could find whoever tipped the Twins off,” Griffin pointed out.

“I have as much of an idea who it could of been as you do,” the Judge said, “even if we know who it was, the Twins might try to attack Prosperity again. Who knows who they have spying on us.”

“You should at least take a break,” Griffin said, “you’ve been at this for days.”

“And I’m going to be at it until this war is done,” The Judge replied.

“Not if you’re too tired to pick up a bow in the next fight,” Griffin said, “come back inside, Judge. Rush fixed the ranch up and Prosperity looks better than before. You can get some sleep, and tomorrow, we’ll come up with a battle plan with Kim and Rush. We can’t keep dodging around the Twins forever.”

“I’d like to stay out here for a while longer,” the Judge said.

“Fifteen minutes, and not a minute more, or I’ll drag you inside myself!” Griffin said. The Judge chuckled.

“Yes Captain,” they said. 

Griffin gave them a nod and left them to it, walking back to the entrance of Prosperity and was let back inside by one of the guards at the door. He took a deep breath. They’ll do better next time.

——————

Selene already had a cup of coffee ready for him that morning when he woke up.

“Thanks, it’s been forever since I visited you here,” Griffin said, taking a long sip from it. He has got to know how she makes coffee taste so good.

“Most people wouldn't say that’s a good thing. When other people visit me, it’s cause they didn’t do such a good job at keeping all the gunk that’s supposed to stay inside your body _in_ it,” Selene said, cleaning something in the nearby sink.

“Yeah but your coffee-“

“Is sooooo good. I know,” Selene said in a sing song voice and gave a big smile to Griffin.

“It is!” Griffin insisted, “honestly, I would of made the hike from Sacramento to here earlier if I knew this was waiting for me in Montana,” and at that Griffin lifted the cup in the air before taking another drink.

“You can be the first man to marry a cup of coffee if you wanted to, unless you’re saving that ring for Rush,” Selene said. Griffin choked and bent down, coughing. Selene walked over and gave him a couple slaps on the back, but Griffin had quickly sat back up.

“I don’t-don’t know wh-what you mean,” Griffin said in between coughs.

“Oh, well, Nick and Grace talk about it sometimes, and it gets slow around here so I listen in on them. They totally think you two are going to be Prosperity’s newest hot couple, they’re just waiting for the announcement. Why else did you both go off into Nick's garage alone. It’s pretty suspicious.”

Griffin groaned and laid his head on the table.

“I did that because I wanted to talk to him privately about something with Joseph Seed and- oh God, does Rush know?”

“That you got the butterflies for him?”

“No!” Griffin exclaimed, sitting up again, “that people assume that we- you know?”

“I don’t know, why not ask him yourself?” Selene said. 

“Absolutely not,” Griffin replied. He stood up and rinsed his now empty cup in the sink and started to head out the door.

“Hey, you never said I was wrong about the butterflies!” Selene yelled after Griffin.

Griffin stepped outside and looked around, giving a large sigh. How many people around here have been gossiping about him and Rush? They’re just co-workers, Rush builds settlements and Griffin helps keep them safe until the people in the new communities can defend themselves. There’s nothing more than that between them.

Griffin’s mind started to wander back to what happened yesterday, how Rush looked in the room full of lights, and he shook his head hard. It may be better for him, for now, if he just pretended that conversation with Selene had never happened.

He should probably check on Rush and see what they want to do for their next move. He started to walk along the ranch porch, past Grace, who he greeted as he went by. He made it to the ranches door and pulled it open.

“Where are they at? I can get a group and we’ll get over there right away.”

Griffin had stepped in to where Rush, Carmina, the Judge, and Kim were standing at the table. Rush was talking to someone on the radio and looked up when Griffin stepped inside.

“Captain, thank God you’re here,” Rush said. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Griffin asked, confused.

“Is that the Shepherd?” Ethan’s voice came on the radio, “put him on for me.”

“Yeah. Hey, what’s up? What’s going on?” Griffin asked, taking the small radio from Rush.

“We have a situation,” Ethan said, “some members of my flock were patrolling out in the east when they ran into one of those convoys the locusts have.”

“Oh, shit,” Griffin said.

“They were ambushed. One survived and escaped, but the rest of my family, the ones who were not slain, were taken to the nearest outpost, Trailer Town,” Ethan continued, “They spied on the outpost to see if they can perhaps save them, but the sinners have swarmed the settlement. I need my men here in New Eden and my flock are at their mercy, so if you don’t come and help-“

“They’ll be dead. That whole thing,” Griffin said, “We’ll be there, just hang tight, okay?”

“May the Father be with you,” Ethan replied, and the radio cut out.

“Damn it, just when we thought things could have cooled down,” Griffin said, “how come he called us here and not anywhere closer to Trailer Town? The Marina isn’t that far from there.”

“Something about not trusting Crusty and Tammy,” Rush said.

“Oh yeah, right,” Griffin said, “He better not make it a habit to only call me every time he’s in trouble. I better get going then.”

“I’m coming with you,” Carmina said.

“Same here,” Rush agreed. The Judge gave Griffin a nod.

“The four of us it is then,” Griffin said.

“Be careful out there, all of you,” Kim said.

“We’re just sneaking into an outpost filled with Highwaymen, what’s the worst that can happen?”

——————

Griffin looked through the brush and at the outpost, looking around for any Highwaymen. Trailer Town was large, full of half built structures and rotting trailers, but there were few Highwaymen actually occupying the town. Griffin spotted one leaning against the wall, his back away from Griffin, and a couple more sitting around each other on chairs. The Highwaymen’s music was still playing, making it easy for the group to approach the outpost undetected, but the town didn’t look as swarmed as Ethan promised it was.

Rush snuck up next to him and looked around.

“Doesn’t look like there’s a lot of them,” Rush whispered.

“There could be more inside,” Griffin suggested.

“Maybe. Let’s split up. Me and the Judge will go through the right, take out that radio over there, and you and Carmina get the one on the left where the guard is at.”

“Can do, boss,” Griffin said. Behind him, both Carmina and the Judge nodded. They split off, Griffin stayed low to the ground, rifle in hand, while Carmina crept behind him. They both were able to sneak their way around the building and Griffin climbed up it, pulling himself up quietly. He crawled towards the guard as Carmina followed after him.

Griffin stood up, knife in hand, and grabbed the guards shoulder. He turned him around and was about to drive the knife into his neck when the guard fell, leaning lifelessly against the wall. A broken arrow was buried into his chest, another one pinned his vest to the wall, keeping the body somewhat upright.

“What the-?”

Griffin looked over at the radio and realized that was turned off too.

“Hey, Cap?”

Griffin turned to see Rush standing between the two sitting Highwaymen.

“These guys are already dead!” Rush called, “and the radio is busted!”

“Yeah, Same here,” Griffin said, “have you seen the peggies?”

“No,” Rush said, “do you think the peggies Ethan mentioned did this?”

“I don’t know how, he said the place was swarming with Highwaymen,” Griffin replied, but he had started to feel uneasy. This whole place had ambush written all over it. Griffin began to look around, trying to look for any Highwaymen that may be approaching them, but the woods around Trailer Town were still.

“We should probably go,” Carmina said.

“Yeah, let’s go get the-“

Griffin saw movement in the corner of his eye. In a nearby building, Ethan stood there, half hidden, watching Rush and the Judge below. What the hell was he doing here? Griffin began to wave at him.

“Hey! Ethan, over here!” 

Ethan looked up and quickly left, disappearing inside the house.

“Huh. That’s really weird,” Griffin said, his unease growing worse. Why didn’t Ethan tell him that he was going to come to Trailer Town too? Why avoid them?

Griffin was about to jump down to join the others when the music stopped. Everyone looked up curiously as the radios began to crackle.

“I don’t like this at all, Cap,” Carmina said, raising her gun.

“Just stay close.”

Finally, the crackling stopped, and new music started to play through the speakers, some older melody that Griffin didn’t recognize.

“NO,” Griffin could hear the Judge yell. They grabbed the side of their head, trying to cover their ears, but they were too late.

_“Only you can make all this world seem right.”_

And the Judge screamed, a loud shriek that shook Griffin to his core. He had never heard something so terrifying before.

The Judge took a step backwards, then another, and they fell over onto the ground. Griffin watched them from his perch, horrified. What the hell had happened to them? Were they next?

Griffin couldn’t tell if the song was doing anything to him too. He felt fine, Carmina wasn’t falling over either, but Rush had ran to the Judge and pulled their mask off. Griffin quickly jumped down and ran to him, gasping when he saw their face. 

There was blood coming from their eyes, nose, and from the corners of their mouth. Their eyes were closed and they were still breathing, but it was slow and faint.

“Jesus Christ, what the hell happened,” Rush said, looking up at Griffin.

Griffin didn’t know what this was or why this was only happening to the Judge and not the rest of them. The Judge never mentioned this before.

Wait a minute, they had! Griffin remembered, a while ago, out in the radiated torn land in the north. Griffin wanted to know why the peggies avoided that area by the Pet Pen. A song was a reason why they don’t go that far north, because when they hear the song they end up losing control and become-

“Thomas, get the hell away from them now!” Griffin yelled, and began to reach over to pull him away from the Judge.

“What do you-“

Rush gave a yell as the Judge grabbed him, throwing him over to the side. They got up over him and pulled out a knife, trying to stab it into Rush’s heart, but Griffin tackled them, grabbing their knife hand.

“Stop it! Stop!” He yelled at them, but they didn’t listen, just growled as they tried to get out from under Griffin who was desperately trying to keep them pinned down. From the corner of his eye, Griffin could see Rush stand and pull out a gun.

“No! Don’t shoot!” Griffin yelled at him, “Don’t shoot them!”

“Don’t shoot- are you crazy!? They’re trying to kill us!”

“It’s not them, they’re not the one doing this! They’re not their self right now, it’s the damn song-“

Rush cursed under his breath and turned to Carmina, who was watching the scene, eyes widened and gun raised.

_“Only you can make all this change in me.”_

“Figure out how to turn the speakers off, now!” Rush ordered her, handing her the gun.

“R-right!” Carmina said, and ran off to the building Griffin saw Ethan at.

The Judge used the brief moment where Griffin was distracted to wretch their other arm free. Griffin felt himself get lifted then tossed to the side, landing on the ground, hard. He quickly scrambled to his feet as the Judge stood up

_“When you hold my hand I understand the magic that you do.”_

The Judge stood there, knife raised, glaring between Rush and Griffin, before darting at Rush, slashing their knife at him. Rush had to keep backing up to avoid them.

Griffin tried to grab the Judge again, but they brought their knife to his direction, cutting into his arm. He gave a cry and backed away from them, avoiding the knife, before they lost interest, turning back to Rush and lunging for him again.

Both Rush and Griffin were forced to dance around the Judge, dodging each stab as the Judge continued to try and kill them both.

_“You’re my dream come true, my one and-“_

“Oh thank God,” Rush muttered when the music cut out, but the Judge was still fighting, trying to get at Rush.

“Aren’t they supposed to stop now?” Rush yelled.

“I don’t know, I don’t know how this works!” Griffin yelled back.

“We have to do something!” Rush said. The Judge had ran at him and tackled him, pinning him to the wall behind him. Griffin made it to them just as they were trying to stab Rush again and grabbed their arm, pulling it away from him.

The Judge gave another growl and turned around, wrenching their knife arm free and shoving Griffin away with the other. He fell on his ass with the Judge towering over him. Griffin scooted backwards away from them as they walked forward, knife hand raised-

Carmina appeared and hit the Judge in the back of the head with a shovel. They fell, crumpling to the ground and stopped moving. Griffin got up and took a couple of steps towards them, but they still didn’t move.

“Are they… dead?” He asked, raising his hand to the cut at his arm. Rush went up to them and turned them around.

“No, just unconscious,” he said, “find me something to tie them up with.”

“Why do we have to tie them up?” Griffin asked.

“Because we don’t know how this works! Is there a timer or-or- fuck, I don’t know, an off switch?” Rush said, looking noticeably shaken.

“I don’t know,” Griffin admitted. Rush sighed.

“Listen, if they wake up and they’re better than we’ll let them go, but I don't need a knife in my neck,” Rush said gently.

That was fair. Griffin went around the buildings in Trailer Town, searching for something, and came across some zip ties. Griffin brought them over to Rush, who proceeded to tie the Judge’s hands and feet together.

Carmina has stayed silent throughout the whole conversation. She hasn’t really moved either, the shovel was still gripped tightly in her hands. She stared at the Judge with wide eyes, not blinking. Griffin walked over to her and put a hand on Carmina’s shoulder, making her jump.

“Feeling alright there, kid?” He asked.

“Ye-Yeah,” Carmina said, “sorry, my nerves are shot.”

“I don’t blame you. This conditioning shit is scary.”

“You don’t think Joseph did that to them?” Carmina asked. Griffin gave a sigh.

“No, it wasn’t Joseph,” he said.

“Then why was Ethan here? Where did he go? He wasn’t in the building when I went to turn the music off.”

She was right, Ethan was here, but now he’s gone. No Highwaymen stronghold, no Peggie hostages, just a dead town rigged to make home brewed killers.

Griffin sighed.

“Let’s wait for the Judge to wake up first, then we will figure all of that out.”

———————

It wasn’t until early the next morning did the Judge finally wake up. Dawn was in an hour and Griffin was poking at the fire, occasionally looking at the Judge’s unmoving figure. Their mask was right next to them, Griffin had wanted to put it back on them, but Rush had stopped him. Griffin was at least allowed to clean all the blood from their face and Rush dressed up Griffin’s wound. Nobody in the group was able to sleep, not after what had happened, so they sat silently and waited. 

The Judge moving made Griffin look up. They were blinking their eyes, looking around the fire. Rush, who was sitting next to them, jumped and put a hand to his gun, but no other movements from the Judge made him relax.

“Hey there, you gave us quite a scare,” Griffin said, keeping himself calm, but he can feel his heart start to race. The Judge ignored him. They looked down at their bound hands and feet, around them at Rush, Griffin, and Carmina, then at the mask down right next to them.

“You’re still not under that- you know. You’re you again?” Griffin asked. The Judge looked around once more before they trained their eyes on Griffin.

“Yes. I’m me again,” the Judge said. Their voice was hoarse, the words strained.

“Glad to hear it,” Griffin said. Rush gave him a nod and Griffin walked over to the Judge, cutting the bonds at their feet, then the ones at their hands. The Judge quickly grabbed Griffin, pulling him close, causing Rush to grab his hand gun and raise it at them.

“Captain, you have to let me know,” they whispered to him, their eyes wide and full of fear, “I didn’t- I didn’t kill anyone this time, right? I didn’t?”

“No, you didn’t. We wouldn't let you,” Griffin said. 

“You promise?”

“I swear. Nobody was killed.”

The Judge finally let go of him and leaned back against the wall, closing their eyes. Griffin could see a tear roll down their cheek and sighed, going back to sit where he was before.

The Judge looked at Rush, who was watching them, gun now at his side again.

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry,” they said. He gave them a confused look, but put the gun away.

“It’s alright. It wasn’t your fault,” he said.

Carmina was watching them, not really saying anything. The whole campfire was silent, but it didn’t last long.

“We have to get back to Prosperity,” Rush said. The Judge nodded and gave a sniff, wiping their eyes before reaching for their mask beside them and putting it back on.

“Shouldn’t we figure out what the hell all of that with Ethan was first?” Griffin said, “wouldn’t he have returned home to New Eden?”

“Which is why we should be getting back to Prosperity as soon as we can. Something about this does not feel right at all.”

“I agree,” the Judge said.

“Ethan hasn’t told you anything, has he?” Rush asked them.

“No, nothing!” The Judge shook their head.

“Nothing from Joseph?“

“Nothing at all!”

“Ethan doesn’t like them both that much,” Griffin reminded Rush. Rush took a deep breath.

“Then that could mean he’s acting alone, or with a small group,” Rush said, “that may make him more dangerous if that is the case.”

“He’s not working for the Highwaymen, is he?” Carmina asked.

“Maybe, we don’t know,” Rush said.

“We’ll find out,” Griffin said. He balled his fists.

“Let’s get back home, tell Kim what’s going on, then, find Ethan, and find out what his plan is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally only chose this song for the title cause of the lyrics I wanted to use for the summary : D 
> 
> This scene was planned for a really long time, not cause of what I wrote for Chapter 12, that chapter was more of a biproduct for this one. This is kind of the start of the end of the story cause everything from here on out is stuff I _really_ wanted to get to, but you can’t rush the things you want, and the wait has been worth it. Everything’s finally coming together.
> 
> Title is from You’re gonna go far, kid by the Offspring


	24. A Broken Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Unfurl the black velvet altar cloth  
>  Draw a white chalk Baphomet  
> Mistreat your Altar Boys long enough and this is what you get  
> Sad and angry, can't learn how to behave  
> Still won't know how in the darkness of the grave_

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU JUST _LEFT_ HER THERE!?”

“Please, ma’am, I had no choice!”

Griffin, Rush, The Judge, And Carmina were able to hear Kim and Ethan long before they got to the top of the hill. Griffin could hear Ethan cry out and Kim yell some more, whatever was going on did not sound good at all. When she heard her mother, Carmina began to run, the Judge right behind her. Griffin and Rush quickened their pace and soon they were able to see what was happening.

It looked like a fight was about to break out in front of Prosperity. Many Scavengers stood at the top of the wall, pointing guns at the peggies below on the ground. The peggies had their bows trained on Kim, she was standing over Ethan, who was on the ground, one fist grabbing his shirt, keeping him somewhat upright, while the other was raised in the air. Ethan had a bloody nose that, Griffin assumed, Kim had given him. Nick was there too, gun trained at the peggies who were ready to shoot his wife.

“Mom?” Carmina said, stopping just a couple of meters away from them. Kim looked up and she let go of Ethan’s shirt, causing him to fall on the ground.

“Carmina? Oh my God-“ Kim stepped over Ethan and ran to her, hugging Carmina tightly. Nick put his weapon away and ran after her, grabbing the both of them. Kim looked up to see the Judge standing close by, watching them.

“What the hell are they doing here?” She asked, pulling Carmina away from them, but Carmina got herself out of her moms grasp.

“What do you mean? They’re our friend.”

“That’s not what he said,” Kim said. Ethan had gotten himself in a standing position and had taken a step back when she pointed at him.

“Yeah, you,” Griffin growled, taking some steps towards Ethan. The peggies had lowered their bows, looking at each other in confusion. The Scavengers have not lowered their guns, but they too looked confused.

Ethan raised his hands and started to back away.

“Stay back, Outsider! Or I’ll- I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Griffin asked, stopping right in front of him.

“I am Joseph’s son!”

“Do you really think that’s going to stop me from kicking your ass?”

“Griffin, not yet,” Rush said. Griffin growled and turned around, leaving Ethan to stand, smugly, behind him.

“What did he tell you?” Griffin asked Kim, approaching her. She gave the Judge another glare before she spoke.

“I was told that you had just finished clearing out Trailer Town and had just freed the prisoners when you were attacked by them,” Kim pointed at the Judge, “Ethan saw you all get killed and couldn’t do anything but run back here to tell me that he let my daughter get murdered.”

“Huh, really. That’s what he told you?” Griffin turned around to face Ethan, “that’s not how I remembered it. There were no hostages at that town, just a bunch of dead corpses set up like some puppet show. Care to explain that, Ethan?”

That last word came out with as much venom as Griffin could muster. Ethan looked furious and through the blood on his face, Griffin could see him slowly growing red. He lifted a hand and pointed at the Judge.

“They tried to kill you, I saw it! You can not deny this, you can’t! The Judge betrayed you!”

“They have not.”

“Then why did they attack you? Why would you bring them back here when they attacked all of you? They are supposed to be helping us but they’ve been wanting to have you off their back since Joseph sent them out with you! They betrayed the Father!” Ethan said, that stupid smug look still on his face. The Scavengers trained their guns on the Judge, who had taken a step back. Rush went over to them and stood by their side, a hand protectively out in front of them. The peggies were watching the Judge in horror.

“You made the mistake of bringing them home!” Ethan said, “I told you I had my suspicions, but you brought them back, even after what they’ve done! You can’t keep making excuses for them! The boats, the attack, now this? How can you believe they are not at fault?”

“They wouldn’t of attacked us if you hadn’t put on that damn song!” Griffin yelled at him. He watched as Ethan’s face went pale, the grin faded and for once, Ethan Seed looked scared.

“Song? What song?” Nick asked, his brow furrowed. He let go of Kim and Carmina and took a couple steps towards Griffin.

“The damn conditioning song, the one from before the Collapse!” Griffin said, watching Ethan still, “Yeah, I bet you didn’t think I knew what that was, huh?”

“Jesus Christ…” Nick looked behind him at the Judge, then gave Ethan a glare.

Ethan started to look panicked but the peggies behind him looked shocked, sharing looks between each other. They did not know that he had done this, Griffin realized. 

“I- I- I didn’t- you have no proof,“ Ethan had begun to sputter, “you’re just- just- just an outsider who is trying to take over New Eden, to make us like them.” 

Ethan turned around towards the peggies behind him and pointed at Kim, Nick, and Carmina.

“I am loyal to the Father! I have stuck by New Eden when he disappeared and now this outsider, someone the Father wants to have lead, is trying to take over by spreading lies and fear into our community! He wants to make us abandon our ways and go back to the sins of the old world, I know this! He’s got the Judge on his side and Joseph is-is- blinded by his own vision that he doesn't see what the outsider is doing!”

“I don’t want to lead New Eden and you know it,” Griffin said. The peggies began to mutter to themselves but had shut back up again.

“You killed those Highwaymen at Trailer Town and led us into a trap,” Rush said, “you brainwashed the Judge with whatever song you played, and now you’re trying to get everyone to turn on them, Joseph, and is. Why did you do it?”

“I’ve done nothing you can prove, Outsider,” Ethan growled. He turned back to the peggies.

“Who are you going to believe, me, someone with the Father’s blood, or the sinners who are trying to break apart our family.”

The peggies began to mutter among themselves for a moment, but nobody gave an answer. Griffin had his balled his fists, loving nothing better to do at that moment than to knock Ethan’s traitorous ass to the ground, but he can’t do that, not when he still wants answers.

“I trust you, Captain,” Kim said. Ethan snorted.

“Of course you do,” he sneered, “every one of you have been mistrustful of us ever since you came crawling to us for help. We never asked for you to come to New Eden, we never offered our services to you-“

“You were going to if I had brought back proof of Joseph’s death,” Griffin said.

“The Father has been gone-“

“You wanted him dead so you could be in charge, you wanted to be a prophet and to get Joseph’s Gift. You told me yourself when we first met and when you gave me the sacrament, just before I went north. Is this really what this all has been about?” Griffin had a horrible realization, “Ethan, you were not the one who has been betraying us this whole time, right?”

Ethan’s face, somehow, went paler, and Griffin knew. All that time he spent, obsessing over the sabotager, blaming it on the Judge, the secrets he told Griffin behind the Judge and Joseph’s backs, it’s all been a ruse, just to hide his own tracks, and Griffin had fallen for his tricks, hook, line, and sinker. Rush’s eyes narrowed.

“You’re the one who gave our position to the Twins at Signal Point!” He said. One of the peggies behind Ethan gave a gasp. Everyone’s eyes were on him now as Ethan looked around, trying to find someone in the crowd who may support him, but all he was met with were glares. He finally stopped and gave Griffin a look full of loathing.

“You spent this whole time trying to convince me it was the Judge who has been behind all of this, when it’s been you this whole time!” Griffin yelled, “you tried to convince me that they destroyed the boats, you tried to ruin this alliance, and now you tried to get both me and Rush killed twice now!”

The peggies began to mutter to themselves.

“You can’t prove any of it!” Ethan yelled. He turned to the peggies.

“Get the Captain out of my way,” he ordered the peggies, but none of them moved. They stood, mutter to themselves while shooting glances at Ethan. The Judge had stepped past Rush to make their way to Griffin, standing right next to him.

Ethan gave the peggies another panicked look before he turned around and noticed the Judge. He made his way to them, causing both the Scavengers and the peggies to raise their weapons at him.

Ethan made it to the Judge and leaned in close, his voice low enough so only they and Griffin could hear him.

“If you don’t help me get out of here, unharmed, right now, I can tell everyone here your secret. You wouldn’t want that, ” he whispered to them. Griffin moved the Judge to the side until he was the one looking up at Ethan.

“And who's going to believe you?” Griffin asked. Ethan looked like he had swallowed a lemon. He looked at Kim, Carmina, and Rush, then turned around, glaring at the peggies behind him.

“You all betrayed me when you decided to put your faith into a sinner and the old man! I could of been the prophet New Eden needed! Joseph Seed abandoned us when building New Eden became too hard, but I stayed! I could of been our Shepherd! And you!” Ethan turned to Griffin, “I would of gave you everything you wanted, but you brought Joseph home instead! You should've killed him- you should of-of-of-“

Ethan’s words tangled into unintelligible gibberish, but he seemed to have had enough of his rant. He gave a look around the crowd.

“You all will pay for this,” he declared.

“You have no more power around here, Seed!” one of the Scavengers yelled, a couple of other Scavengers spoke as well, agreeing with him. Ethan gave one more look to everyone before he turned and walked off, soon disappearing into the woods.

“We shouldn't let him go,” Kim said.

“Joseph doesn’t know yet,” Griffin said, “even with his faults, Joseph loves him. He wouldn’t want to see him as our prisoner.”

“It really shouldn’t matter what Joseph wants,” Kim muttered.

One of the peggies walked up to her.

“We are sorry for Ethan’s behavior, it does not reflect the rest of us,” he said, shaking his head sadly, “the Father will be the most disappointed when he finds out what he has done.”

“None of it was your fault. The only person to blame here is Ethan,” Kim looked at the Judge at that last part. They stared back at her, silent. Kim gave a sigh.

“I’ll send a message to New Eden, before Ethan does anything else,” she said, and turned to leave. Nick gave Griffin, Rush, and the Judge a nod before he and the peggies followed her back towards Prosperity, the moment they did so, Griffin finally felt himself relax.

“I’m exhausted,” he said.

“I’m with you on that, Cap. How about you?” Carmina nudged the Judge. They gave a grunt in reply and walked away, heading back to Prosperity’s gate. Carmina stared after them.

“You know, it’s a good thing to finally know that there really is something human under there after all,” she said as they disappeared.

———————

Time had passed and many people were gathering at Falls End, one nice kick off before the last of the fighting starts.

Kim, Griffin, and Rush has called Joseph, Crusty, Axel-Ray, Jess, and Jerome the moment they were all back in the ranch, to warn them about Ethan. While Crusty, Jess, Axel, and Jerome’s responses were the predictable agreement and confirmation of keeping a lookout for anything unusual, Joseph’s reply confused Griffin. Although Joseph sounded upset by his sons behavior, going far enough to also apologize to everyone who was involved, he didn’t sound surprised by what Ethan had done. Ethan hasn’t even return to New Eden yet, something that should concern Griffin, but he knows that Ethan has nowhere else to go. The Highwaymen certainly won’t take him, and every outpost already is keeping an eye out for him. Ethan was completely alone.

Griffin should be more upset with Joseph, if the man had thought Ethan would do something like betraying New Eden and Prosperity he should of at least warned them, but Griffin doesn’t have the energy to get mad at Joseph anymore.

But he didn’t want to worry everyone with his grievances about the old man. Prosperity had the final details of its upgrades put into place. The walls were finished and the fence was so reinforced, nothing short of a tank was going to knock it down. Rush was happy about the work he and the rest of Prosperity’s citizens had done, he felt like there was a cause for celebration, something to get all the Scavengers in on, the peggies too.

Of course, they had to be discreet about it, for the Twins to not make another ambush, but no Highwaymen have been seen around Falls End in days, so that was where they all went. Griffin was observing the party below from a high ledge, watching everyone interact below. 

One peggie with black hair was talking to Nick and Grace while Marin was chatting with Kim. Sharky, Gina, Hurk, Crusty, and Jess were all sitting around in a circle, laughing and drinking as Timber raced around the settlement, Horatio hot on his heels. Other Scavengers and peggies were talking to each other as well, Axel-Ray was playing with his kids as his wife, Kathy, watched. Casey, an older Hope County citizen Griffin had just met that day, was cooking behind the bar, laughing at jokes Selene, Wheaty, Bean, and another veteran named Eric were telling him. Tammy had a group of both Scavengers and peggies alike listening to her talk. Everything felt at peace.

Griffin kept looking around until he saw Carmina and the Judge. They were a little ways away from everyone else, talking quietly between themselves. The Judge shook their head at Carmina, causing her to laugh. Griffin had to smile, it was nice to see the Judge finally talking to their goddaughter. Maybe they’ll be more willing to do that more often from now on. It will do them both some good to finally get to know each other.

Footsteps behind Griffin got his attention and he turned as Rush appeared.

“Hey,” Griffin said. Rush stood next to him, watching the party below.

“It’s amazing, what you’ve done here,” Rush said.

“What we’ve done,” Griffin corrected him, “ I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“Neither would I,” Rush said.

“So, my wonderful friend, what are our next moves going to be, now that we got rid of that one problem?” Griffin asked. Rush gave a huff of laughter.

“I got some recon I’m going to do,” Rush said, “a couple of the peggies want to take back Empty Garden, I figure it’s about time we’ve done so.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Griffin asked.

“I’ll be fine on my own,” Rush said, “you have been running all over this county since we got here, you need to rest. Take the next few days off, wait for me at Prosperity, and when I get back we’ll figure out how to finally confront the Twins, okay?”

“Okay,” Griffin said. Rush reached a hand out and grabbed Griffin’s, giving it a small squeeze.

“I’m really proud of you, man,” Rush said. Griffin gave him a smile.

“You haven’t regretted not leaving me on the streets of Illinois yet?” 

“Hell no.”

Griffin gave a smirk and went back to looking out at the party below. He saw Kim approach the Judge and Carmina and say some words to them. Kim held out a hand to the Judge and the Judge reached out and shook it. Kim said a few more words before she turned around and headed back to where Nick was.

Griffin smiled. Things were finally going his way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone whose messaged me when Chapter 11 came out and said they thought it was Ethan, you all were so right and I’m happy to finally confirm that it was just him feeding into his vendetta on his father and the Captain XD
> 
> In case you haven’t noticed, were nearing _that_ part of the story, you know what this all means :) thanks for sticking around!
> 
> Title is from Cry for Judas by The Mountain Goats


	25. I Put It Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Wait! Don't misplace all your-  
>  Hey! Just learn to ship your shape  
> But now I'm so afraid  
> Of you_

Rush had left two days ago, heading out with some of the peggies to go take back Empty Garden. Griffin felt, admittedly for a solid day afterwards, upset that Rush had left without him, but it soon passed. After all, if people were starting to talk about him and Rush behind their backs, it’s best not to fuel their rumors, especially when it involves Griffin trying to figure out how far his own feelings for Rush go on down that scary road.

Nonetheless, the suggested break was welcomed. Griffin had not had an actual vacation since before the Collapse. Roger had offered to take Griffin on a quick flight to some out of Montana location, just to see the other places the post-Collapse had to offer, but Griffin declined. Even with the new quiet Ethan’s betrayal had brought, Griffin was anxiously waiting for Rush to get back home soon.

He felt that it was finally time to make some headway about their plans to fight the Twins. Kim had mentioned a derby event happening in the future, but Griffin doesn’t know how that will go, considering they had taken the only derby around from the Highwaymen.

For now, Griffin thought to go see what the Judge was doing. He had spotted them in the last few days in quiet corners of Prosperity, every so often with Carmina. The two seemed to be getting along well, which pleased Griffin, but he was curious to know what Carmina and the Judge talk about since, as far as Griffin knew, she still didn’t know who they really are.

The Judge was outside of Prosperity, sitting on the ruins of the plane beside the settlement. They were alone this time, and was watching the woods. They looked up and to Griffin’s direction when he approached them, but made no move to get up.

“Hey,” Griffin said.

“Captain,” The Judge greeted, “is there a problem?”

“No, I just thought I’d check up on you. I want to start making plans to attack the Twins, but Rush isn’t back yet. I figured we can start without him, catch him up on our ideas when he returns.”

“You’ll have to talk to Kim on your own. I am returning to New Eden.”

“What?” Griffin said, surprised, “why?”

“I am worried about Joseph. After what Ethan did- I think he’s going to take his anger out on his father.”

“Joseph can take care of himself, you should know that,” Griffin said.

“Yes, But you heard Ethan, he wants Joseph dead. If he desired to kill the Father himself, I don’t know if Joseph will stop him,” the Judge said, “Ethan is the last blood family he has left, as hateful as Ethan is towards Joseph, he still loves his son, and if I am not there, then no one will be able to protect him.”

“Then let me come with you.”

“You don’t have to,” The Judge said.

“I want to,” Griffin said, “I’ve been stuck in Prosperity forever, I need to get out, and since Rush isn’t around at the moment then I can be the one who can check up on the upgrading for New Eden. And Ethan is still out there somewhere throwing his tantrum, if he shows up in New Eden again, I would like to make sure he doesn’t try to pull another stunt again. And besides, at this point you and I are in this together. You don’t need to face your problems alone anymore.”

“But what about the Twins?,” the Judge asked. 

“Still have to wait for Rush, even if me and Kim start planning now,” Griffin reminded them.

“I guess,” the Judge said. They were silent for a while.

“So, uh... you’ve been talking to Carmina quite a lot,” Griffin said, to break the silence.

“Yes, she’s a good kid. I just…” The Judge became silent again.

“I know you didn’t want to get close to her,” Griffin said, “but you kind of creeped her out before, when she first met you. It’s good that she knows you now.”

“She doesn’t know me,” The Judge said, “I never wanted her to see me like that, like how I was back at Trailer Town. Ethan tried to get me to kill Rush. I saw it, after the song started. He was supposed to be my next sacrifice.”

“Carmina knows it wasn’t your fault,” Griffin said.

“It doesn’t make me feel any better,” The Judge replied, “you don’t know what it’s like, losing control like that all because of a stupid song. What if the Twins find out about Only You and what Jacob has done? They could easily turn half of Hope County into mindless killers, New Eden could be wiped out. It’s horrifying.”

“I saw it firsthand, believe me, I understand how you feel,” Griffin said, “but you’re safe now, everyone is safe. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“That may be the most ridiculous promise you made yet,” the Judge said, but they seemed to have calmed down. They noticed something and perked up as Griffin heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see Carmina approaching them.

“Hey, what are you two talking about?” She asked.

“We’re going to New Eden to check up on Joseph.”

“Cool. Let me go.”

“That’s up to the Judge. Is it alright if she joins us?” Griffin looked up at the Judge.

“Yes. You can come with us.”

“Awesome!” Carmina said. The Judge stood up.

“I shall go and get my things. I want to leave as soon as possible.”

“You go and do that,” Griffin said. The Judge hopped down from the ruined plane and began to walk back to Prosperity's gate.

“What do you two even talk about?” Griffin asked.

“They tell me about New Eden, I tell them about some of the people who live here. They seem to like my stories about Sharky And Hurk the most,” Carmina replied, “I had a question to ask them, but I guess now's not the best time.”

“You can always ask it later,” Griffin said.

“Yeah…” Carmina gave a pause, “Hey, Cap? Can you answer a different question, and be honest with me.”

“Yeah, sure kiddo.”

“How long did you knew the Judge could talk and why didn’t you say anything.”

“Ah, that,” Griffin said, “Well, I knew almost since the day I met them. I overheard them talking to Joseph.”

“So why not tell me?” Carmina asked, sounding a little hurt.

“Trust me kid, I would of if the Judge wouldn’t of gutted me for it,” Griffin said, “Damn near as well did it to me when I found out. I told them I’d keep it a secret that I know, that one is very very strict about their privacy.”

“Oh. I understand,” Carmina said, “thanks for that, Cap.”

“Was that the answer you wanted?”

“I’m not sure,” Carmina replied, and she turned back to the entrance to Prosperity. Griffin shook his head before he followed her.

——————

There was something off about Faith’s Gate when Joseph’s group arrived. The bunker was not like John’s at all. Where John’s was inhabited and covered in dust, Faith’s bloomed to life, large white flowers grew everywhere around the entrance to the bunker, but even with so much beauty, it was unnaturally quiet.

New Eden had started to recover not long after Joseph discovered the Gift and shared it with the rest of his family, to those whose souls were clean enough to take it. The family pulled through the winter and soon, the world began to grow warm again. Spring finally came and with it, Eden began to bloom, turning the wasteland of Hope County into a beautiful garden. New Eden itself, with this new burst of life, began to finish the construction of their settlement, and soon the peggies had created their paradise.

It was some months after spring arrived and summer was coming around the corner when Joseph had announced he wanted to find the rest of their family at Faith’s bunker. He had chosen a small group to go with him; the Judge, Marin, and two other peggies named Clover and Aiden. They will find the lost members of their flock and bring them home.

This garden wasn’t something any of them expected, however. The Judge, as they watched the bunker entrance, noticed the familiar speckles of light that they’ve come to associate with the Bliss. Joseph approached the entrance and stood at it, looking inside the black maw of the bunker, trying to see anything, but it was too dark.

“Shall we enter, Father?” Clover asked. Joseph remained silent for a few moments more, then nodded his head.

“Stay close,” he mummered, and took the first step inside. The Judge walked quickly ahead of the others to walk directly behind him, bow out and arrow already in place.

The air in the bunker was humid and warm, it was also very dark. Aiden pulled out a torch and handed it off to Joseph, then took another for himself. They stepped inside and made their way forward.

They followed a set of stairs that went down for a little ways, then down a large hall. The electricity inside the bunker still worked, however, most lights were off or broken, the ones still lit blinked constantly. The plants continued to grow thickly over the metal interior of the bunker, covering many of the objects inside. At one point, they walked passed a humanoid figure lying on the ground, an unrecognizable skeleton covered completely in plants. The group silently pressed forward.

The uneasy feeling the Judge had grew worse. Between the unnatural growth of the Bliss inside the bunker and the unnerving silence around them, the Judge’s hopes for survivors were becoming lower and lower.

“Father, we may want to turn back soon,” Marin suggested. Joseph turned around, opening his mouth to speak, but stopped. They all can hear it, faintly down the hall. It sounded like someone was singing.

Joseph started to walk again, following the source of the noise, the rest of the group after him. They got to a large area that looked like part of an old water plant, grayish green water laid stagnant inside and flies buzzed around the ponds surface. The singing was growing louder and the Judge stopped dead in their tracks, a cold feeling of dread quickly overcoming them when they finally recognized it.

Faith’s voice continued to lull the peggies deeper and deeper into the bunker. Joseph walked further on ahead, but the others have stopped when the Judge had. Realizing that they were not going to move, Clover and Aiden walked around the Judge and Marin, who was also still, and soon disappeared with Joseph. Marin placed a hand on the Judge’s arm, getting their attention.

“You hear her too?” She asked. The Judge nodded.

“But she’s-“ Marin shook her head, then stared off down the hall, looking determined.

“We have to catch up with the others,” she said. The Judge nodded once more and they began to walk, leaving the man made pond behind to continue down the dark corridors of the Greenhouse.

They soon were able to catch up to the rest of the group, but the hall they have entered was very dark. Plants grew thickly in most areas and those with torches had to take care to not set the plants on fire.

Faith’s voice grew louder, but under it, there was whispering and laughter, sometimes from her, sometimes from something else. The Judge grew more and more nervous, Faith couldn’t be down here. They saw her die, they buried her at the river their self. All the group was doing was following the voices of ghosts.

The group had reached a larger room that was dimly lit by a dying light. Joseph and the two peggies pushed forward, but Marin and the Judge stopped to look around. The plants grew a little less here and the space looked like it use to be habited. There was a rotting mattress pulled to one corner and the decomposing remains of someone’s meal at the table, next to a handwritten letter.

The Judge lifted up the letter and read it, squinting in the faint light.

 

_We’ve been down here for what feels like- God, months now? I can’t tell anymore. Aven went to the surface to see what it is like up there, then came screaming back, his face all red and peeling, must be from the radiation, he ended up dying soon afterwards. What Bliss we’ve left in the bunker has done enough to calm the most doubtful of us, but even now, I’m scared. We’re trapped down here, trapped like damn rats. Maybe this is our punishment from God? Maybe we didn’t atone enough? Oh Father, where are you?_

_The paradise we were promised is not coming. I wish more than anything to go back to how it was before the world ended, I want it so bad. I want to forget the Collapse and live in pure bliss. Forever._

 

The Judge dropped the note, letting the yellowed paper fall to the floor.

“What is it?” Marin asked, but whatever answer she was expecting from the Judge was cut off by a loud scream coming from the hall the others went down.

The Judge and Marin ran towards the noise and found a fight going on. Aiden was already dead on the ground, a person sitting on top of him stabbed him repeatedly with what looked like scissors. Joseph struggled to keep another assailant off of him as Clover was wrestling with a different attacker. The Judge ran to the person stabbing the corpse and threw them off of it. The attacker stood up.

He was wearing dirty rags that hung around his skinny frame. His hair was long and overgrown, with a large bushy beard to match. The Judge could see the faint Eden’s Gate Cross stamped onto his shirt through the grime that covered him, but that’s not what stood out the most to the Judge, it was his eyes. They were the same familiar glowing pale green that they had come to associate with angels.

The angel growled and lunged for the Judge. They drew their bow back and fired it, the bow digging into the angels chest, but that didn’t stop him. The Judge lifted their hands as the angel grabbed their bow, and the two began to wrestle for control.

Marin, meanwhile, has ran to Clover, grabbing her own weapon, a knife, and driving it into the angels neck. Joseph had killed his own attacker, and now stood over the corpse, looking around. Faith’s singing and laughter has grown louder, echoing throughout the bunker until the noise grew almost unbearable.

The Judge managed to get their bow away from the angel as Marin jumped on his back, stabbing the man in the chest. The angel tried to claw her off, but a second arrow into the angels chest finally got him to fall. The Judge could hear footsteps running towards their direction and the Judge knew that if they stuck around, whatever is coming is going to kill them all.

Joseph seemed to have not taken notice to this immediate threat, and instead, was looking around, calling out for Faith. 

“Father!” Marin yelled as angels began to appear farther down the hall, but he didn’t move. The Judge felt panic rising like a tide but they swallowed it down, running up to Joseph to pull him away. He tried to get out of their grasp, but it wasn’t until the Judge forcefully turn him around did he stop fighting back.

“We must go,” he said to the group, and ran, Marin, the Judge, and Clover all right behind him. The footsteps behind them were getting close, but Faith had stopped singing, her maniacal laughter a constant echo throughout the bunker, no matter how far back they travel. They made it past the room where the Judge found the note and to the water plant. Clover tripped and the Judge stopped, ready to help the woman to her feet. 

The first of the mob began to appear. A filthy angel with longer hair than the one the Judge fought, came running at them, her empty hands reaching out like claws at the Judge. The Judge shoved her away and she fell into the murky water below. Clover had gotten to her feet but another angel ran and tackled her, both of them fell into the same pond as the other angel did. The Judge searched the water frantically as Marin and Joseph both shot at the angels that were now coming through the door, the only thing louder than their shrieks was Faith’s laughter, but besides   
a few bubbles that rose to the surface of the pond, no angels, or Clover, appeared. 

The Judge was forced to abandon her when the mass of the mob got to the water plants entrance, the angels getting temporarily stuck in the doorway as they all tried to fit through it at once. The Judge gave the pond one last look before they began to run again, Marin and Joseph already running ahead. 

Joseph got his torch and brought it up to the plants on the walls as they ran, the white flowers quickly caught on fire and Faith’s laughter turned into screams.

The bunker started to fill with smoke. The Judge was hanging trouble seeing and breathing through their mask, but they didn’t stop, didn’t take it off. They kept running for what felt like an eternity, until they finally made it outside.

The group collapsed on the ground, breathing large breaths of fresh air. The Judge turned, bracing to fight the mob chasing them, but the entrance to the bunker was completely blocked and on fire. The Judge gave a sigh of relief, none of the angels will be harming Eden now.

They looked over at Joseph, who had stood up. He looked pale and was silently helping Marin to her feet. He walked over to the entrance of the bunker, just out of reach of the fire, and looked inside through the burning entrance. Faith’s screams have stopped the moment they had left the bunker and the unnatural quiet was back. The fire crept slowly through the brush around the gate’s entrance, and Joseph had to take some steps back to avoid the flames.

“What shall we do now?” Marin asked. Joseph stayed silent for a little more before he spoke.

“We have failed,” he said, “we will go home and tell everyone what has happened, take time to mourn those we have lost. No one is to come here again.”

Marin nodded at him. Joseph walked past her and the Judge and started the silent trek home.

———————

New Eden was as it was when they left it, people peacefully at work, but there was something amiss when they returned to camp, something the Judge noticed the moment they got back. More people seemed to be talking among themselves, whispered conversations that were hushed when Joseph and the others passed. Joseph paid no mind to any of this, he didn’t really seem to pay much attention at all to what was going on around him, at one point the Judge had to take lead, to ensure that in his distraction, Joseph wouldn’t lead the group astray.

A Chosen, one of the peggies who has been given the Gift, approached him. Joseph stopped in front of the man.

“Father, it is good to see you return safely,” the Chosen said. He looked behind Joseph.

“Where are Clover and Aiden?” 

“Lost, to monsters who now reside in the Greenhouse,” Joseph said.

“May God rest their souls,” the Chosen replied.

“How were things here while I was gone?”

“Quiet, mostly. An outsider from the town of Falls End came by while you were gone, looking for his missing sister. We sent him off but he may come back, he was very insistent on speaking to you.”

The Chosen looked suddenly nervous.

“And theres something else,” he began, then paused. The Chosen took a deep breath.

“Follow me. You’re going to want to see this.”

“Very well,” Joseph said, and he began to follow the Chosen back up to his home, the large hut was finally built and stood as the largest building in New Eden, as both Joseph’s home and a church. The Judge followed after him as Marin splitted off from the group, making her way to a nearby group of chatting peggies. The Judge was curious but also growing nervous again. What else could go wrong today?

“We found a note at the old compound, asking us to go south. A patrol heeded the notes instructions, and we found… well-“

They entered the hut and what was there made Joseph stop in his tracks.

“Megan…?” He said. The Judge tilted their head at Joseph. Who was Megan?

It had to be the sick looking woman sitting on a log by a portrait of Joseph. A young boy stood at her side, he couldn’t be much older than eleven, maybe twelve, half hidden away from everyone behind his mother's back, who was looking at Joseph with big round eyes. The woman gave a small, nervous smile at Joseph.

“Joseph,” Megan said, her voice faint. She gave loud coughs and the boy next to her gave her a hug, still watching the group.

Joseph looked speechless for once. He took a tentative step forward, then stopped, but when Megan raised a hand to him, he closed the space between them quickly, gently taking the woman’s hand into his own. The boy went back to hiding behind his mother, still watching Joseph, but looked away every few moments. Megan gently pushed her son out from behind her until everyone could clearly see him.

The boy had messy brown hair and brown eyes. The clothes he wore were large, making him seem smaller in appearance than he actually was. He also looked ill, like his mother, but not as bad as she did. At least the boy can still stand.

“This is Ethan, our son,” Megan said. The words hit the Judge like a slap in the face.

Son? When did Joseph ever mention having a son? The Judge tried to wrack their brain for any time he may have mentioned so, but they could only remember what he had told them about his daughter, back in the Veteran’s Center years ago. Joseph had never mentioned a Megan either, come to think of it, but why had she left in the first place? Why come home now?

Joseph looked down at Ethan, who was watching him silently. The Judge noticed that Megan looked nervous, her hand was still on Ethan’s back, she had not moved it. The Judge stood there, wondering what they should be doing, feeling like an intruder on whatever scene they accidentally walked in on. Perhaps they should go.

The Judge turned around to leave as Ethan spoke.

“Are you really my father?” He asked Joseph. Joseph gave Megan a look, who nodded again.

“Yes, I am, my son,” he said. The Judge gave one last look behind him, just to see Joseph crouch in front of Ethan, before they turned and left the church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter originally wasn’t going to exist. I couldn’t come up with anything for a while about Faith’s bunker to make it worth writing about and the only other event I really wanted to add was Ethan and Megan showing up to New Eden, but besides last chapter I didn’t think of anywhere else to put it. Then i was listening to this song and got the idea to make Joseph feel totally fucked up about Faith and what happened to her and make this almost like a horror movie. I had fun writing about the bunker.
> 
> Sorry for not much else happening with Griffin, Carmina, and the Judge. I mainly wanted to use this chapter for flashback stuff, but it definitely also works for setting up for next chapter. I spent so much time on the next one, don’t be surprised to see it posted within the next few days.
> 
> Let’s pour one out for Clover and Aiden, two throw away characters who got totally fucked up
> 
> Title is from For Yellow Walls by Brick and Mortar


	26. Rejoice And Fear Our Coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _At first I took everything away from them  
>  Then they took everything away from me_

The sun had set a while back but there was no need to stop walking to make camp. The moon was mostly full and high in the sky and there was nothing abnormal about, except for the fact that the Judge was way more chatty than Griffin was used to.

He, Carmina, and the Judge have been walking for a few hours now, only just making it past Falls End, and were almost on the main road to New Eden. The Judge and Griffin have been talking for most of the walk, not really about the war like they should be doing, but more about whatever else came to mind. Griffin took this time to talk more about what he and Rush did during their fifteen year hike up and down the west coast, starting communities and rebuilding America. All part of Rush’s big dream.

The Judge was listening to him, adding their own questions in every so often, sometimes their comments. Griffin liked this more talkative version of them, it was a welcomed change from the silent, broody person he had grown accustomed to.

Carmina, however, was unusually quiet, not joining in on any of the conversation. Every once in a while, she would open her mouth to say something, but close it, letting Griffin and the Judge continue on with their discussion. Griffin was wondering if it had to do with the question she wanted to ask the Judge earlier, although how important was it that she looked so worried, he could only wonder.

“Can’t be too long before Hope County looks like the rest of the West. We’ll get everyone clean water, good farms, the community will grow and soon, it’ll be like the Highwaymen were never here at all,” Griffin said.

“It all sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?” The Judge asked, nodding at Carmina. She jumped.

“Yeah- it does. It sounds amazing,” she said. Griffin rolled his eyes.

“Okay, kid, what gives?” He asked, stopping, “you’ve been really quiet.”

“Now's not a good time to talk about it,” Carmina said.

“Would any other time be any better? We’re in a war and we still got a long ways to go before we get to New Eden, you might as well speak your mind now,” Griffin said.

Carmina bit her lip, her eyes shifting between Griffin and the Judge before she started talking, speaking so fast, like she had been holding the words for a long time and she wanted to just get them all out. Griffin quickly felt overwhelmed with everything she was saying at once.

“I don’t think you understand, Cap, I mean, it’s kind of a big deal, but mom told you everything so I can’t really say you don’t know- but it’s been bugging me since you talked to me the first time. I’ve been so curious to get to know you, and talking to you, Judge, has been great, I love it, I really do. But then what happened at Trailer Town got me thinking, something seemed very familiar and, well, I did some digging, so I went back to what I was thinking about, asked Aunt Grace and Dad a couple questions, and, well, I think I pieced it all together,” Carmina blurted.

“Wow, that’s a lot,” Griffin said. Carmina ignored him.

“I have to know- is this you?” Carmina put a hand in the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a piece of paper. The Judge slowly reached out to grab it and Griffin heard them give a gasp. He leaned over and looked at it, squinting down at the image.

It was a photograph, albeit a very old one. It was stained with what looked like coffee, but the image on it was still very clear.

It was a picture of the Judge, a much younger and happier Judge, but it was still them. They had a side cut and wore a gray jacket. From the background, it looked like they were outside in the woods, sometime around midday. They were winking at the camera, sticking their tongue at it, a raised arm showed that they were the one who took the picture.

They had their arm around the shoulder of another person close at their side, an older, handsome man, wearing blue. His shirt was mostly unbuttoned and Griffin could see something that looked like a tattoo on his chest. He had a long beard that was well kept, like his hair, and he appeared to be annoyed, but the longer Griffin looked at the picture, the more obvious the smile the man tried to hide was. This must be John Seed, Griffin realized.

There was writing on the bottom of the image, but Griffin didn’t get to read that before the Judge lowered their arm, holding the photo at their side. They stood and watched Carmina, but didn’t say anything. She gave them a moment longer before she spoke again.

“It is you, isn’t it?” Carmina asked.

“Carmina…,” Griffin said nervously.

“No Cap, I want to hear it from them. You’re the Deputy, right?” Carmina asked, “why won’t you say anything?”

The Judge looked down at the photo at their side and sighed.

“It’s not as simple as you think-“

“How is it not that simple!? I grew up with stories about you from Mom and Dad. You’re a hero! You’ve been here the whole time, why not say anything? Mom told me you died, just after we brought you back home! Everyone would of been so happy to see you, I don’t get it-“

“I said it’s not that simple!” The Judge repeated, their voice more snappish. Carmina looked taken aback, but the Judge took a deep breath, calming their self down.

“Where did you get this from?” They asked, handing the photo back to Carmina. She pocketed it.

“In the room upstairs that Mom doesn’t like people going into,” Carmina said, “the Resistance stashed a bunch of the old cult stuff in it and I found photos. I use to dig around in there when I was bored, while you all were gone, and I remember coming across that one. I thought you looked familiar, so I went up there to check again after the party, and I found it in one of the boxes with the other photos.”

“If I had ever wanted you to learn who I am, I never wanted it to be like this,” the Judge mumbled.

“Dep, listen-“

“Please don’t call me that,” the Judge said, “I’ve put all of that behind me.”

“But-“ 

“Carmina, just leave it,” Griffin said. His radio crackled, a couple of voices came through, but he ignored it.

“Did you know they were the Deputy this whole time, Cap?” Carmina asked. Griffin gritted his teeth.

“Yeah, I’ve known for a while.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? Why not tell me!” Carmina asked, angry.

“Because I was never even meant to know! Ethan told me who they were behind the Judge’s back, you know why he did it! I brought it up with the Judge and they asked me to keep their secret, so I did, even if I don’t understand why they want to, cause believe me, I don’t. But if the Judge doesn’t want me to tell everyone who they are, then I have to respect that!”

“But I could of helped keep it! You don’t know what it was like, I grew up on stories about the things you and Dad did together! I wanted to meet you so bad! You were my hero!” Carmina said to the Judge. They shook their head.

“I’m not the kind of person anyone should look up to.”

“Mom told me what you did for her, and Dad, the day the world ended,” Carmina said, “You saved Dad from John Seed, you saved the county from Eden’s Gate.”

“I didn’t save anybody!” The Judge replied.

“What are you even talking about?” 

Griffin, meanwhile, furiously yanked his radios mouthpiece to him. The whole time through the conversation, static layered voices have been talking, trying to get his attention, and he was quickly growing tired of it.

“I’m in the middle of something right now, what do you want?” Griffin practically snarled into the radio.

“Be careful with your tone, rabbit, we barely even started talking,” Mickey’s voice came through. Griffin growled. Carmina and the Judge both looked at the radio in Griffin’s hand, their argument on hold, for now.

“Listen, can you two come and make your threats any time other than now? I got something important going on at the moment and the last thing I need is for the both of you to make it worse.”

“We could, but we got something even more important than whatever you’re doing to discuss, don’t we, rabbit?” Mickey said, but not to Griffin.

“Go fuck yourself,” Rush’s voice came through the radio, making Griffin’s blood freeze. 

“That’s right, Rabbit, we got Rush and those hippies he was with,” Griffin could practically see Mickey smirking right now, “you want him back? Better get to the fertilizer plant down the way quick, I’m not sure how long Lou’s going to control herself, she has quite the itchy trigger finger.”

“If you hurt a hair on his head, so help me-“

“What are you going to do, tell me rabbit, see what happens,” Mickey interrupted him, “You don’t have long to save all of them. Better get here quick before it’s too late.”

“You sick son of a -“

But the radio clicked off. Griffin realized he was shaking. He wanted to do nothing more but to smash the radio in his hand to pieces but he took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down, but panic was building in him like a flood. They had him as their prisoner once before but had dislocated Rush’s leg in the process. Still, he was alive, but after everything they had done, Griffin wasn’t sure for how long. 

If they hurt Rush again, oh God, oh no…

“Cap, Cap!” Carmina got his attention and Griffin was able to pull himself away from his darkening thoughts.

“Y-yeah, Yeah, Okay, it’ll be okay,” Griffin said to her. He had a feeling that he was saying it more to calm himself down. He had to focus.

“The fertilizer plant is down the road where we were heading, maybe a five minute walk from here,“ the Judge said.

“We have to move,” he replied. The Judge and Carmina nodded and they began to run. They really were not far from it at all, Griffin was soon able to see the top of the plant. Just as they got onto its grounds, Mickey spoke on the radio again.

“You can only save Rush or the hippies. Rush is at the top floor of the building, the hippies are inside on the other three. Choose quick, Captain, we can’t keep both alive forever.”

“Go get Rush,” The Judge immediately said. Griffin nodded and left them, beginning his climb up the stairs to the top floor.

“Wise move,” Lou’s voice came through, “now, leave your weapons outside, or Rush dies.”

There was a large duffel bag placed on some barrels next to the entrance of where they were waiting for him. How nice of them, Griffin thought, sarcastically, as he placed his sawlauncher, knife, and handgun inside the   
bag.

Griffin grabbed the door handle, prepared himself, and opened the door.

The room was dimly lit, most of the light in it came from the moon, shining from two very large windows. This one was painted with the Highwaymen’s designs, of course, but was a lot emptier than the other Highwaymen locations, only a few beds and tables were in the space. 

Griffin saw Rush immediately when he walked in. He was kneeling on the floor, tied to the back of a hand truck just directly across the room from where Griffin had entered. Griffin took a couple steps towards him but was forced to stop when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

Mickey stepped around him from one side, and Lou from the other, the hand Lou had on Griffin pushed him back towards the door.

“Well look who finally showed up!” Mickey exclaimed. Lou smirked and made her way over to Rush, standing next to him, arms crossed, watching.

“Yeah. I’m here. Let Rush go, I know it’s me you want, Rush has nothing to do with this, he doesn’t need to be involved,” Griffin said. Mickey laughed.

“That’s not how we’re going to play this game, rabbit. Stay a while,” Mickey said, and she pointed upwards. Griffin looked up.

Lou had shoved him directly under some chains, hooked to one of them was a pair of handcuffs. Griffin stared at them before it registered exactly what they wanted him to do. He chuckled and began to take his jacket off.

“You both are the biggest pieces of shit I have ever met, you know that?” Griffin said. He tossed the jacket to the side and raised his arms, putting the cuffs on as Rush begged him to stop.

“Look at that, the man does listen sometimes!” Mickey said, “maybe you should of tried doing that earlier, then we all wouldn’t of had to come here!” She walked over and picked up the coat, giving a small laugh when she read the name patch on the front.

“You made yourself the self proclaimed sheriff of Hope County, huh, ‘Rookie Deputy?’” Mickey asked.

“Actually, I was holding onto that for a friend,” Griffin replied.

“Pity,” Mickey said, dropping the jacket back onto the floor. She walked forward until she was between both Rush and Griffin.

“You and that hippie downstairs have been the biggest thorns in our side ever since you crashed your train into our county!” Mickey began, “Rush was suppose to be our number one problem solver, but thanks to your Captain, you just got yourself skyrocketed to one of our biggest problem makers! But that’s okay. We know things get rough, we get that. And all it takes, sometimes, is a little push to get people in the right direction.”

“You’re both going to learn exactly what happens to people who try and make fools of us,” Lou said. Mickey had walked off to the side, out of sight, and Griffin could hear the familiar static from a radio.

“Times are tough! Everything is hard!” Mickey loudly said.

“You don’t get to sit around in your easy little lives anymore,” Lou agreed, “you have to wisen up!”

“And we get that! But it would of been easier for all of us if you both had just listened, done what we have told you to do-“

“Then maybe then we wouldn’t have to do this!” Lou said, and pulled out a shotgun. Mickey waved a hand at her.

“Not yet. We don’t want to spoil the surprise now.”

Lou frowned and lowered the gun.

Griffin gritted his teeth as Mickey started to pace in front of him and Rush.

“Lou wanted to just blow both of your brains out, right here, for all of Hope County to hear, but I convinced her to put a little more ‘class’ into your punishment, after all, it’s only through the influence of one person did so many people make… mistakes. We don’t want any martyrs here, but that’s an easy fix, and this will be something everyone listening can learn from. Only one of you has to die today!” Mickey stopped pacing.

“But it’s just so _hard_ picking which one of you gets to die! It’s the Captain’s fault we’re all wasting our time up here in some shit factory, but Rush’s stubbornness has been causing us some problems that, honestly, just really piss me the fuck off. I just can’t decide!”

“You can just flip for it,” Lou suggested. Mickey nodded.

“I like how you think,” she said, and reached into her pocket, pulling out a coin.

“It’s very simple. I flip a coin, heads for the Captain, tails for Rush. Whichever one of you rabbits it lands on gets to die, as payment for all the trouble the both of you caused. The other one will get to live, doesn’t that sound fair?”

“Fuck You!” Rush replied.

“Tut tut, watch it, rabbit, or you would of made the Captain come all the way out here for no reason!” Mickey said. She and Lou laughed.

Griffin was trembling, shooting glances at Rush as the Twins laughed. He wasn’t scared so much for himself as he was for Rush. He didn’t care if he died, so long as Rush gets to live. People need him more than they needed Griffin. 

Mickey finally stopped laughing and flipped the coin in the air.

He watched the coin rotate as it flew up, then fall. Griffin prayed that it would land on the right side.

———————

“Thank you, both of you, thank you,” the Chosen said as she was cut from her bonds. The Judge grunted, then pointed out the door towards the woods, where her comrades were waiting for her. Carmina and the Judge followed her outside, pausing to look up at the upper stories of the plant as the Chosen walked away from them.

“We have to do something!” Carmina said. She was visibly nervous. The Judge looked up at the top floors with her, then down at their goddaughter, getting her attention by shaking her shoulder.

“Go back to New Eden with the others and get help,” the Judge said quietly, “I’ll stay here.”

“By yourself? The Twins could kill you!”

“I’ve faced plenty of worse things on my own. If you hurry, we can get them surrounded. Find Joseph and get help, please Carmina!”

“Alright, I will,” Carmina said, looking more determined. She gave the Judge one last look then disappeared, heading into the woods with the peggies.

The Judge looked back up at the plant, a growing sense of unease eating inside them. They hated this helpless feeling, unsure on how to help both Rush and Griffin. Why hasn’t anything happened yet? 

The Judge wanted to so badly walk up those stairs and face the Twins, but they forced their self to wait, dreading the moment when the silence is finally broken.

———————

“Heads! Sorry, rabbit, but your time is up!” Mickey’s voice was barely audible over Rush, who had yelled No! The moment Mickey spoke.

Griffin gave a sigh of relief that came out more like a sob. Rush was going to live, he can continue this fight, somehow, but he’s going to live. Griffin took a deep breath to steady himself, fear was flowing through him, but if he is going to die here then he refuses to let the Twins see how scared he really is. He has to stay strong for Rush.

“Thomas,” Griffin said, and he and Rush locked eyes for a moment. Lou had went over to Rush and was standing behind him, gun in hand. Mickey herself had went behind Griffin.

He was actually going to die. The thought didn’t seem real at all to him, but he was now suddenly hyper aware of everything around him, how time was moving just so quickly, every step the Twins took was one moment closer to his death. Griffin had to say something, now, before it’s too late. But he didn’t really know exactly what to say, there was a lot of stuff he wanted to tell Rush, not in front of the Twins, or to the still on radio, but this was the only moment he was ever going to get.

“Thomas, I-“

He was cut off when he felt the barrel of Mickey’s gun touch the back of his head. Lou nodded and she raised her own gun, then shot Rush. Time slowed down as the force of the shot pushed Rush forward. Blood flew in the air, drops of it landing just in front of Griffin. Rush landed on the ground and didn’t move, silent as the puddle under him grew bigger and bigger.

Griffin stared at him. A childish part of Griffin expected Rush to get up, to just roll out from under that hand truck and say something clever to the Twins, wiping the smiles off of their faces, but he didn’t move and the puddle only continued to grow.

Mickey had removed the gun from Griffin’s head and walked up with Lou to Rush, saying something to her, but Griffin couldn’t understand any of the words she was speaking. A rushing noise was building in his ears, and something ferocious was growing inside of him, ripping and tearing its way from his chest up to his throat. His vision seemed to have a yellow glow on the edge and he clenched his hands into fists, pulling slightly on the chains that held him in place.

He still hasn’t taken his eyes off of Rush. While Griffin was staring at him, Lou had made her way over to a table nearby and grabbed her motorcycle helmet, then approached Griffin.

Lou hitting Griffin in the head snapped him out of it. The animal jaw wired to the bottom of her helmet cut into his eye and down his face, quickly covering it in blood. He closed the eye as blood started to seep out of it and Lou’s voice was clear now, ringing in the room loudly.

“Did you really think we were serious? Did you really think we were going to let any of you leave this room alive? There never was any plan to let any of you go! We’re not stupid! We told you what would happen if you fucked with us!”

Mickey had approached him too, getting in Griffin’s face, helmet in hand.

“Rush’s death is your fault!” She said, slamming her helmet into his stomach, “all you had to do was listen! All you had to do was leave!”

“We could have built something great together, the four of us!” Lou yelled, hitting Griffin in the head again. 

“But you ruined everything! You made us look weak!” Mickey pushed Griffin.

The feeling had finally reached Griffin’s throat and he welcomed it. The yellow glow grew brighter and the pain in his face and body seemed to numb and fade. He could barely even register the fact that he can’t see out of his left eye anymore, all he could feel at that moment was rage.

“We now it's our turn to make you look weak! You failed Rush, you failed Hope County, you failed everyone!” Lou yelled, and raised her helmet again, ready to beat it into Griffin.

Griffin gave a strong pull and the handcuffs broke. He reached out an arm and grabbed the helmet as it was coming for him, stopping it in mid swing.

“What the-?” Lou said, but she found herself being pushed away, sliding across the floor on her back.

“Hey!” Mickey yelled, but Griffin had grabbed her, swinging her off to the side where she flew into a wall and fell on the floor. Lou had gotten up and tried to tackle Griffin, but he grabbed her like she was nothing, throwing her towards one of the large windows.

Rage was coursing through him, encouraging him to rip the Twins apart, piece by piece. He listened to it, taking no notice of the much smaller voice that was telling him to stop. He wanted to make the Twins suffer a hundred-fold for what they did, starting with Lou.

The room seemed to turn from the night blue into an orange and the glow danced around the edges of his vision like vicious flames. Lou had tried to stand up, but a kick from Griffin caused her to fall on the ground again.

He grabbed Lou and punched her, once then twice, just as she had hit him. He could just kill her and just be done with it all. All he had to do was end it right here, for Rush.

“Hey, rabbit!”

Griffin turned to look beside him, growling, as Mickey pulled the trigger of her shotgun. He let go of Lou as the bullets hit him, the force of it sending him backwards and through the window.

And Griffin began to fall, many many feet to the ground below. Time seemed to slow down again, broken glass was all around him, the glow was fading away, and the rage that had consumed him before was all gone. The only thing he could think of, at that moment, was how lovely the night sky looked from where he was falling. Griffin closed his eye just before he hit the ground.

————————

“Captain… Captain… Griffin!”

The Judge’s voice woke him up, but Griffin didn’t open his eyes just yet. He could feel the Judge shaking him. Stop that, he tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. He couldn’t move, maybe he was dead, for all he knew. But that can’t be the case, as much as he hurt right at that moment, he felt very much alive.

“You have to get up, Griffin. Come on, open your eyes!”

Open his eyes? The ground was too comfortable and he was too tired. His body ached terribly and moving was the last thing he wanted to do.

But opening his eyes seemed easy enough. He managed to get the right one open, just slightly, the Judge was a blurred figure leaning over him. They didn’t notice his movement and just kept shaking him, slowly making him aggravated.

Jesus Christ, nothing was ever good enough for them. He wished they could stop moving him.

He didn’t have to tell them that though. He could see Lou appear over him and her bringing the helmet down on the Judges head. They fell to the side and Lou got over them, hitting them again and again-

“LOU, STOP!”

Lou had her helmet raised in the air, about to bring it down on a groaning Judge below her. She got up and walked over to Mickey, raising the helmet at her.

“Didn’t you fucking see that!? Did you?! This fucking piece of shit-!”

Lou had started to kick Griffin’s body. It should hurt, he certainly can feel each kick, but every blow Lou gave him was just there, the pain that should of came with it nonexistent. He still couldn’t move either, and he felt his body shift a little as Lou kicked him.

“I saw,” Mickey said, “he went fucking nuts.”

“How did he do that!? He just fucking- I don’t know!” Lou had started to pace. The Judge had gotten their self on all fours, a hand raised under their mask to their face. Mickey noticed this and walked over, kicking them in the stomach. The Judge fell over, crying out. Mickey grabbed the front of their jacket and pulled them up, removing and throwing aside their mask.

“How the hell did the Captain do that? What did you give him?”

“Go fuck yourself,” the Judge snarled. Mickey punched them in the face, knocking them out.

“Help me with them,” Mickey said to Lou, “We’ll take them to the Bullet Farm and question them there. We may have just found our newest problem solver.”

Lou gave a huff and walked over to grab the Judge’s other arm.

_No, leave them alone!_

Griffin wanted to say that to them, he really did, but he was just too tired. He closed his eye, only briefly, as they dragged the Judge away, and then opened both of them. Some time had passed and they were gone. The sun had finally risen into the sky and Griffin could move now.

It took him everything he had but he rolled over, finding it easier to crawl than stand. He made his way, slowly, to where Mickey had tossed aside the Judge’s mask and grabbed it. 

_Get to Rush._

The voice in his head urged him forward, so he listened, making his way to the stairs nearby. He grabbed the rail and, gritting his teeth, raised himself into a standing position on incredibly shaky legs. He began to climb, each step was agony and it took an eternity just for him to reach the first landing.

He almost fell a few times. He looked down at himself at one point and realized that the gray shirt he was wearing was mostly red, multiple holes showed where the bullets had hit him. A drop of blood rolled down his face and onto the ground, making Griffin realize he could see out of his left eye again. His face stung awfully. He raised a hand to it, then lowered it quickly when he felt the wound, his fingers now covered in blood. Griffin was terrified to see what he looks like now.

He finally got to the top of the stairs. He stopped briefly at the duffle bag, the Twins had left it behind, and placed the Judge’s mask in it, taking out his knife instead. He then pushed the door open.

The Twins has left Rush where he had fallen. The puddle was a huge mass on the ground, Griffin slipped and fell down when he stepped in it. Pain seared through his body like a hot blade as he landed, but he didn’t care, he just needed to get to Rush. Griffin made himself get back up, just to cross the space between them. 

Griffin took the knife and cut the ties at Rush’s hands, then pushed the hand truck off of him. He grabbed Rush and turned him over, pulling him up until he was half lying on Griffin’s lap, but Griffin couldn’t look at his face. He knows that if he did, then Rush’s death was final, all hope of Lou misfiring, the blood coming from somewhere else, this whole ordeal being just some elaborate prank by the Twins, it wasn’t true, and all of this really was his fault.

It took a moment before Griffin gathered all of his courage and looked at Rush. 

Rush’s eyes were still open, empty, his mouth slightly gaped, an oh of surprise on his face. Griffin couldn’t make himself look away from him, the longer he stared the more something inside of him broke.

Griffin reached over and closed Rush’s eyes, resting his hand on his cheek, and his vision blurred. He felt tears pouring down his face, getting into his wound and falling onto Rush himself. Griffin began to give deep, heavy sobs and lifted Rush’s body closer to him, clutching him close as he cried into his chest.

That’s where he still was when Carmina and the peggies arrived, shortly afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to start off by saying I’ve been waiting so long to post this Chapter cause I _love_ writting angst, so no, I’m not sorry.
> 
> I hated how in FCND they just immediately killed Rush the moment the Captain shows up. After all the shit Griffin does to them, I’d figure they’d want to humiliate him before killing him.
> 
> Title is from Bremen by Pigpen Theater Co.


	27. Resonance is Far Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Want to write a single letter  
>  Maybe then I’ll feel much better  
> Until then we’ll float  
> We’re hungover in the city of dust  
> We’re hungover in the city of dust  
> So let our minds run round in circles  
> While we figure it all out_

The landscape around him moved by quickly. Griffin was looking out at the field they were passing through, the railroad still miraculously holding up here even though the world had ended seventeen years prior.Traveling by train was amazing, and the fact that he was even there seemed like a miracle by itself. He still can’t believe he’s been spending the last fifteen years with Thomas Rush rebuilding America.

The Captain of Security is, or rather was, a strong, strict woman. Any quip Griffin could give her was shot back at tenfold and the two were always butting heads. It annoyed Rush on no end but Griffin had respected the Captain, until she died a couple of years ago. The promotion came as a surprise, but Rush was insistent on it, declaring the old Captain would have wanted him to have her role.

Captain of Security certainly was a nice sounding title, and it put him closer to Rush, something Griffin never expected to have wanted until he got it.

When Rush has offered him a place in his group, Griffin had thought that maybe the sweet talking was just his way of getting people to join, each person just as forgettable as the next, but Rush genuinely cared for every new person he met. What happened in Galena was not the first time they had to pull each other out of trouble, and it certainly won’t be the last, seeing where the train was taking them this time.

Hope County, Montana. A county in the middle of nowhere, uninteresting, except for the fact that unlike everywhere else, Hope County somehow had turned into an oasis. The girl, Carmina Rye, certainly couldn’t give them an answer to why it was like this where everywhere else still wasn’t having the luckiest time regrowing, but Rush was eager to get there nonetheless. With such fertile land, farms could be created, clean water can be made. It was all Rush’s group could only hope for. Then the kicker came in.

Hope County was overrun by the Highwaymen. They had dealt with this group before, but this was something different, larger, more organized, run by a pair of women called the Twins. Still, Hope County was a garden, and from there, Rush and his group can try again to grow their efforts out east.

Griffin felt like something was being hidden from them though. He had questioned Carmina himself, asking about the people living there, what Hope County had to offer, the usual, and Carmina seemed eager to talk about everything, except for New Eden. Griffin didn’t know what this New Eden was, much less how much of a problem they will be, but Carmina didn’t seem to consider them an issue, so Griffin was ready to let it slide for now.

He wonders if the Highwaymen leaders, these Twins, knew they were coming. They probably do, the thought made him nervous, but they might as well know. What can they do anyway, they had a fucking train, it can get anywhere, and not even the Twins could stop that.

Griffin was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Rush approach him, jumping when he saw him in the corner of his eye.

“Relax, it’s just me,” Rush said.

“Yeah. Jesus, man, nearly made me jump off the train,” Griffin said. Griffin stood up straight as Rush walked next to him, looking out over at the moving landscape.

“So, what do you think of all of this?” Griffin asked.

“Besides the fact that we’re about to get into a fight? Pretty positive. We have the people, the specialists, and the resources, we just need to get to Hope County. How are we on weapons and ammunition?”

“Enough to make the army jealous,” Griffin said.

“Bea says we’re under prepared.”

“Of course she says that.”

“She is the cautious type,” Rush said, “she thinks you don’t take these things seriously enough.”

“Huh. Yeah, that’s probably why she broke up with me last year. Anyway, we’re good, man, for the most part, I think.”

“I hope we are,” Rush said, “once we get to Hope County, I want to get to Prosperity as soon as possible. If we can do that then we will have a good base of operations.”

“Sounds good to me,” Griffin said. He paused.

“Hey, how do you really feel about all of this? We never had to deal with the Twins personally before.”

“We kicked the Highwaymen out of communities in the past, Hope County won’t be much different, I’m sure of it,” Rush said, “we’re going to make a difference, I just know it.”

Griffin looked out at the distant, approaching, mountains that Hope County lays behind.

“Yeah. I hope so. I just have a feeling something is off. Carmina made it sound like the Highwaymen are a really big problem, then there’s New Eden. I know they’re supposed to be a bunch of people living in the woods, but you can’t tell me it’s not strange Carmina doesn’t talk about them.”

“Maybe she doesn’t know much about New Eden?” Rush suggested. Griffin shrugged again.

“Maybe. I just hope we’re not running into a trap.”

“We’ll be fine,” Rush reassured Griffin, “we have our best people and plenty of supplies. I have you here at my side. Hope County’s citizens will be happy, this New Eden might be too, and the Highwaymen will be gone before you know it.”

——————

“This was all my fault, Rush.”

Carmina dropped the flowers on the grave and gave a sniff. She was surrounded by everyone else from Prosperity and by the peggies who had helped bring Rush’s body home. Selene stood at the edge of the crowd, watching her. Her eyes were red, but she seemed to have stopped crying. 

The peggies were walking away from the funeral, except for one. He approached Carmina.

“We’re sorry for your loss. New Eden mourns for him with you,” he said, then went to follow the rest of his comrades away from the funeral.

Carmina felt Mom put a hand on her shoulder and gave her mother a glance before she turned and walked away. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand as she walked, giving a sigh.

Carmina had brought Rush here. She had thought that maybe if they had gotten his group to Hope County then all of their problems could be solved, but the Twins took their hope away in bullets, killing everyone on that train. But even so, Rush was still alive, so was Cap, and they had even got New Eden’s support, but now Rush was dead, and Cap…

Things have been going downhill ever since Rush died. Not even a few hours after they had found him and the Captain, multiple outposts were attacked. Falls End and some of the other settlements defended themselves easily enough, but the Marina had suffered heavy damage and the derby was lost, everyone there either killed or sent to the Bullet Farm, and the Highwaymen upgraded their security at the old racing ring.

She hasn’t seen Cap since they brought him home either. They had found him at the top of the plant with Rush, but he didn’t have much to say. Every question Carmina and the peggies had for him were ignored, but his silence didn’t bother her as much as the amount of blood he was covered in. Carmina had a feeling that not all of it was from Rush, a feeling that was proven true when he was brought to Selene.

The last time she saw him was when she had left the Deputy jacket and duffle bag by his bed, where Selene was patching him up. He didn’t seem to have noticed her and she didn’t want to stick around to find out exactly how much he hates her now. She’s been avoiding him ever since.

The Judge was taken too, she knew that the moment she saw the mask. Carmina felt awful about it, the last time she saw them, they argued, and now she may never see them again. She should of stayed with them instead of leaving with the peggies, she could have stopped the Twins or something. Not whatever this was

Carmina realized Selene was following her, so she stopped, just as the old plane came to view around the hanger. 

“Hey, Carmina, nobody blames you,” Selene said, approaching her.

“I blame me,” Carmina replied.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Maybe it wasn’t, but she still felt responsible. Selene approached her and pulled her into a hug. Carmina hugged her back, then let go, looking out at the distant crowd behind her that was still gathered at Rush’s grave.

“How’s Cap?” Carmina asked, “he wasn’t at the funeral.”

Selene bit her lip.

“You want to optimistic or the honest answer?” She asked.

“I want the truth.“

“He shouldn’t even be alive,” Selene said.

“What?”

“I don’t know if it's like magic or some shit, but fuck, I don’t know,” she said. Selene clasped her hands together and lifted them to her chest. She stared down at the ground for a moment before she looked back up at Carmina.

“He shouldn’t be able to see out of that eye, the Twins absolutely gouged whatever they used on him into his face, but he only has a couple of scars, and they’ve already almost healed over. Wounds like his do not do that!” Selene waved her hands in the direction of Prosperity, “And no broken bones either, he fell like, what, four stories up in the air!? Even if he had survived that, he should have half of the bones in his body broken, but nothing, everything is perfect! And let’s not forget the fact he had also gotten shot with a shotgun. I pulled so much shrapnel from him, from as close as he was to whoever shot him, he should of been ripped apart from the inside out, but they barely even got into him, it was the easiest surgery I’ve ever done, that’s for sure!”

Selene seemed to be waiting for her to say something. Carmina blinked a few times.

“The Captain has super powers!” Selene said with a flourish.

“I doubt that,” Carmina replied, “that all doesn’t seem bad.”

“It’s a miracle. A magical, medical, miracle,” Selene’s frown grew bigger, “I wish that was just it though.”

“What? What else?” Carmina asked, her stomach sinking.

“He’s somehow fine physically, but he’s-“ Selene stopped herself and thought for a moment.

“He’s been having nightmares and refuses to sleep. I wake up at night and he’s just- sitting there- in the dark. He won’t eat and barely drinks anything, he even won’t drink my super good coffee,” Selene explained, “he’ll barely talk to anyone, he broke Kim’s radio when Joseph tried talking to him, and he refused to come to the funeral. I even caught him trying to leave Prosperity once.”

“Oh no…” Carmina said.

“I got him to agree to stay in bed, or at least sit as much as possible. Even with his healing powers I don’t want him to end up breaking anything, but he’s so lost now,” Selene said, “do you think it’s because of Rush dying, or is it not just that?”

“Maybe,” Carmina said, “can you take me to him, please, Selene?”

——————

Griffin was at the top of the fence near the training station Grace and Rush had set up months ago. He had pulled a chair up there when he thought Selene wasn’t looking, rather than ask someone to bring it up for him. He was in clean clothes, a simple black shirt and red flannel with a pair of sweatpants. He was staring out over the woods next to Prosperity, towards where the rest of Hope County was, but he wasn’t really looking at anything in particular. He didn’t really care to look at anything.

The Judge’s mask was on his lap, he held it in his hands, face up, but he didn’t look at it. Every time he did, he thought he saw something accusatory in those empty eye sockets and was tempted, more than once, to chuck it into the woods, but he didn’t. He had to hold onto it.

Time seemed to move strangely now. Griffin knew days, maybe a week, had passed since- that- had happened, but when he tried to recall everything that has happened since then, it was all a mess, only some events he could remember. He thinks he remembers being dragged, almost literally, back to Prosperity, he may have tried to fight the peggies who had pulled him away from Rush, but he just can’t recall.

At one point he was given a radio. Multiple people were trying to speak to him, he remembers Crusty at some point, quite a few times actually, Pastor Jerome and Jess, but Joseph was the one who really stood out, mostly with his insistence on asking what has happened to the Judge. Griffin couldn’t bring himself to tell him, let alone to force himself to remember what happened with Rush and the Twins, but even he had a limit on how far his patience with the old man will go. The last thing he needed was for the man to preach to him about God. Griffin clearly remembers ferociously cursing at Joseph Seed, that yellow glow dancing along the edges of his vision as he did so, before throwing the radio at a wall and shattering it. Kim wasn’t pleased that he did that. He ended up feeling guilty for both things later.

He should consider himself lucky, but he couldn’t be happy with how fast he was recovering. It shouldn’t of been him that was still alive after all. The wound on his face had mostly healed, leaving two large, jagged scars that crossed over his eye. He should of lost it after how hard Lou had hit him, but he didn’t, her work was now a permanent reminder on his face.

He didn’t care how he looked, he hasn’t been able to bring himself to feel anything anymore, except for guilt, that was constantly there now. He can see how easy it was for the Judge to be consumed by it, this shit really fucking sucked. Sleep was practically non-existent too. He tried it once, after he was patched up, and awoke in a cold sweat after a nightmare, his chest aflamed and air hard to breath in. It took him a few minutes to calm himself down afterwards and now he was too scared to try again, preferring to sit alone in the dark until dawn rather than trying to catch even a couple of hours of sleep.

Griffin felt like Carmina has been avoiding him since she found him at the plant. He couldn’t blame her, not after how badly he failed everyone, but it still hurt. Kim took it upon herself to give Griffin any news that have been receiving from the other outposts, between the Highwaymen’s attacks and the rebuilding, but Griffin didn’t have much to say on the matter.

Then there was the subject of burying Rush. Kim came by to bring Griffin to the funeral, but he refused to go. He couldn’t stand to see everyone there, each person just another reminder to his latest fuck up and the grave the cherry on top of the world’s shittiest cake. He would just rather not know.

“Cap?”

Griffin didn’t react to Carmina’s voice. He really didn’t want to talk to her, or anyone, right now.

“The funeral is over. Everyone wants to know why you weren't there.”

Griffin felt a jab in his chest, where his heart should be, but he still didn’t give a reaction. He wanted everyone to go away and just leave him alone. Please leave him alone.

Carmina was silent for a moment before she spoke.

“I’m sorry, Rush’s death was my fault-“

That got him moving. Griffin quickly twisted his head to her direction and looked up at her. Selene was with her too. 

“Don’t you say that.”

“If I didn’t ask you both to come to Hope County-“

“Stop that. I don’t want to hear it,” Griffin looked out at the woods again and shook his head.

“I should of never stuck around after they told me to leave,” Griffin said, “they gave me many chances, very generous of them to have given me so many, and I didn’t listen. Rush died because I was too stubborn. The Twins, The Judge, they all were right about me.”

“Cap, that’s not-“

“Don’t tell me it’s not true!” He snapped, “there’s no _point_ anymore. The Twins won. They killed everyone on the train, they killed Rush, and now they have the Judge. We lost.”

“No we haven’t, not yet. They only took back the derby, all the other outposts are still ours, New Eden is on our side still, this war is not over.”

“It might as well be,” Griffin said, “Who knows how long we have until someone else dies. It could be you, or Kim, or your father next. I don’t want to see you become the next episode of the Highwaymen’s torture radio show. I’m done.”

Carmina tried to say something else, but stopped. Griffin went back to staring out at the woods again and could hear her leaving, making him feel worse. He gave a sniff and went to rub his newly healed eye when he noticed that Selene was still there. He glared at her.

“Are you going to give me a lecture too?” He asked.

“Yep,” she said. She went over until she was almost in front of him, leaning against the fence wall.

“Carmina’s worried sick about you,” Selene said.

“She shouldn’t.”

“Stop that. Yes she should. We all are, even the peggies have been. The peggies!”

“So?” Griffin said.

“So seeing you give up like this is breaking everyone’s hearts. We all care about you and we’re happy that you’re alive, but this isn’t the time to be giving up. Rush wouldn’t of wanted that.”

Griffin felt rage build up in him and, for a moment, saw that yellow glow again, but then he relaxed. He tightened his grip on the mask, waiting for the glow to fade away.

“I don’t know what else to do,” Griffin said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Well first thing you need to do is wait until you heal, then you have to go apologize to Carmina.”

Griffin looked back out in the woods and sighed, letting go of the mask to rub his eyes. He was tired.

“None of you understand,” Griffin said.

“We understand that you’re hurting, and that’s okay,” Selene said, “but you don’t need to take it out on Carmina and on yourself. Rush’s death wasn’t any of your faults.”

Griffin wanted to tell her how wrong she was, but he remained silent. Selene watched him for a bit then got up.

“Come by and visit me later, okay?”

Griffin made no reply. Selene finally left. He watched the woods until the moon rose high enough in the sky that all of Prosperity was illuminated. Then, Griffin stood up.

——————

It didn’t take Griffin long to get ready. He switched over into a pair of jeans, keeping the flannel and shirt. He had his sawlauncher and his knife, a handgun, and a small backpack he packed with a few stale granola bars, a couple of water bottles, the Judge’s mask, and the Rookie Deputy jacket. He quietly made his way through the ranch, careful not to wake anyone up, but there were already two people waiting for him outside.

Kim looked exhausted, but she managed to make herself look intimidating enough for Griffin to not ignore and barge past her. Carmina was at her side, equally as tired, both women were standing in the middle of the clearing, facing the ranch entrance, waiting for him. Griffin stopped at the top of the stairs.

“Get out of my way,” he said.

“Cap, where are you going?” Kim asked, wearily. Griffin gritted his teeth.

“I’m going to go save the Judge,” he said. Kim’s eyes widened. That was clearly not the answer she was expecting.

“We can't do anything for them,” Kim said, “the Twins took them to the Bullet Farm. You heard Ethan, it’s a fortress.”

“I don’t care,” Griffin said, scowling at the mention of Ethan, “The Twins wouldn’t of taken them if I hadn’t let them. They’re the only thing between the Twins and them learning Joseph’s secret, and I’m not going to let the Judge die for it. I’m going, whether you want me to or not. I need them, I can’t do all of this alone, I can’t.”

“You’re not alone, you have us!” Kim said, “Captain, this is the _Bullet Farm_ we’re talking about. You’re hurt, Rush just died, you’re not thinking straight-“

“Maybe I’m not!” Griffin shouted. He dropped his bag on the ground and stepped down the stairs, stopping only when he was face to face with Kim.

“Maybe I don’t care if I get hurt anymore, maybe I want to die out there, I don’t care! You can tell me how everything that has happened isn't my fault, you can tell me how Rush dying wasn’t something I could have prevented, but this is the only thing I have right now that I know I can fix! I'm going to save the Judge and nothing short of you putting a bullet in my head yourself is going to stop me!”

“Then let us help you!” Carmina said, taking a step forward.

“What?” Kim said, quickly turning her head to look at her daughter.

“Let’s help him!”

“Carmina-“

“Mom, when we first got back you said we could start the fight against the Twins, even after we had lost everybody in the train. It looked more hopeless than now, but Cap pulled through. You told us to get Hope County together and Cap even got Joseph Seed and New Eden to help us. He has done so much for Prosperity already, let’s do this for him.”

“We don’t even know how to get _in_ there,” Kim said.

“What about those Highwaymen we took as prisoners? Or Gina? Why not ask them,” Carmina asked, “One of them has to have been to the Bullet Farm before, they may know how to get past the gate.”

Kim pressed her lips together, but she looked like she was thinking. Griffin stayed silent, staring at her. Truth be told, he much rather have her out of his way, letting him free to go on this mission by himself. He doesn’t want anyone else dying for him. 

Kim finally perked up.

“You’re going to need help from someone who can get close to the Twins,” Kim said.

“I don’t want to get anyone else killed,” Griffin said.

“It won’t be much different than you doing it too,” Kim pointed out. She grabbed her radio and handed it to Griffin.

“Can you get in touch with Irwin?”

“Irwin? I haven’t spoken to him in a while. Why?”

“Because I believe it’s time for him to repay his debt to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We had a long wait, but here’s next chapter! I don’t have much to say about this one except that things are gonna get crazy from here.
> 
> Title is from Hungover in the City of Dust by Autoheart


	28. I’m the Devil and the Saint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And I will never tell you where I been to  
>  No I can never tell you what I been through  
> But I can tell you that there's no sense in knowin'  
> Tell you that there's no sense in growin'_

It was night outside. The prison was heavily lit, the last shift is nearly ending and the rabbits that were given the rest of the night off were now scrambling around for a warm place to sleep in the prison courtyard. The guards above watched them, making sure none of their prisoners were causing any trouble. Prisoners attempting to break out of the Bullet Farm was common, but very rarely any of them succeeded.

Lou walked with Mickey through the prison entrance and down a hall. Mickey held the door open for her sister to let her through, following her into the large storage room they had next to the main prison block.

Lou didn’t care to stay here for too long. The prisoners stank and the air was constantly depressing, but man does the crate after crate of newly made bullets feel so good. Each one always makes a visit to the Bullet Farm worth it, after all, the Highwaymen always have a need for more ammo.

But more ammunition was not the Twins goal for today, they had a much more important task at hand.

Lou would scowl as she approached the room, if it did not hurt to do so. The Captain had got her good, she will admit that. Speaking was becoming easier, but moving her face was still painful. She had been leaving most of the talking to Mickey, she was good at it anyway. Lou decided to save her voice for when she needs it, like now.

She can’t wait to figure out what those freaks gave the Captain. Being on the receiving end of that beat down hurt, but if she and her sister could get that kind of power, damn, they’ll be unstoppable. But they need answers first, and unfortunately, that was easier said than done.

Lou reached the door to the old office first, now their interrogation room, and opened it, ignoring the guard that stood outside. Mickey gave the man a nod as she followed after Lou, the two of them silent as they entered.

The old office was empty, the Highwaymen had cleared it out of all the crap that used to lie here, just like they had done with the rest of the jail. The only thing the room contained now was a chair a single person was tied to. The hippie.

The Twins have spent days interrogating them, but not much was gained from it, the first day was full of venomous remarks screamed at them. Lou quickly put an end to that, but now they remained mostly silent, the only time they spoke was used for gibberish about someone called the Father. They only knew a little bit about who that was. 

Nothing the Twins were doing was getting them to budge even a little bit and Lou was ready to put a bullet in their head and be done with it. But she can’t, Mickey won’t let her, not yet at least.

Their hood was pulled over their head, but they still glared at Mickey and Lou when they entered the room. They then looked at something behind the Twins and their eyes widened. They blinked and shook their head a couple of times but continued staring behind the Twins once doing so.

“Happy to see us?” Lou asked. The hippie made no reply, just kept staring at the door, a mixture of both shock and surprise on their face. Mickey took a glance at it, then, after seeing nothing there, gave Lou a nod. Lou stepped up to the hippie and slapped them across the face, hard enough to make their head turn, then grabbed the hood on their head and pulled it down. She grabbed a fist full of their hair and tilted the hippies head up until they were looking at her.

“Hey, answer the question when I ask it,” she ordered. The hippie made no reply and Lou let go of them. She walked over to where Mickey was, her sister stepped forward until she was in front of the hippie.

“We know you’re upset. We’re upset too!” Mickey said, “We thought we had reached an understanding with the Captain, if he had left when he first was told to, then everything would have been fine for all of us! He and Rush would still be alive and you would be back with your other freak friends in the woods, but he ruined that for everyone. _You_ made a ton of problems for all of us too. If we had any other option, and believe us, we wish there was, then you would be dead back there with the Captain and Rush.” 

The hippie glared at her, but remained silent.

“But, lucky for you, we need you, so you are going to tell us everything we want to know. Consider this your big redemption arc!” Mickey said, spreading her arms out wide. The hippie laughed, making the Twins give each other looks. This was new.

“What’s so funny?” Lou asked, crossing her arms.

“I’m just laughing at how _stupid_ you two are,” they giggled. Lou pushed past Mickey to slap them again, but they kept laughing. She grabbed them by the shoulders and shook them.

“Does this look like a game to you?!” Lou asked. The hippie’s laughter stopped and they smiled, silently staring at Lou. After another moment, Lou pushed them away, almost causing both the hippie and the chair to fall over.

Lou began to walk away from the hippie, but they spoke again.

“What are you even trying to get out of this?”

“We want answers!” Mickey said, “tell us what you freaks gave the Captain! How do we get up north?”

“You won’t survive going north,” the hippie said.

“Your people do,” Lou pointed out.

“You won’t,” the hippie replied, “and even if you did, you wouldn’t come back down alive. Your souls are too rotten.”

“Enough with the cryptic talk, tell us what we want to know,” Mickey said. The hippie stayed silent, but the smile had left their face, their eyes narrowed at the Twins. Lou growled.

“We should just kill them and find someone else to tell us what they’re hiding,” Lou said to Mickey. She shook her head

“This may be the best we’ll get,” Mickey said.

“Fuck the hippie! Their stubborn ass has been silent for days, I’m sick of this shit! Let’s just get rid of them and find someone better!”

“No,” Mickey said, “we need them.” She pulled out a knife and walked over to the hippie, crouching in front of them and waving the blade in their face.

“We will make you speak,” Mickey said, “we’ve gotten people better than you to say what we want to hear.”

“I’m sure you have, but I’m different,” the hippie said. They chuckled again.

“You don’t get it,” they said when they were done laughing, “I would die to keep the Father’s secrets, it’s what I’ve dedicated the rest of my life to. He’s more important than all of us in this room. Nobody can do the things that he can do, I have no reason to betray him. I would sacrifice my life for him if it meant removing locusts like you out of Eden.”

“Can your Father fix this?” Mickey asked, and then took the knife and plunged it into the hippies leg. They screamed, then quickly cut their self off, biting their lip hard enough to cause blood to start dripping down their chin. Mickey left the blade there and leaned against the hippies other leg, her right hand lax on the knife's handle.

“It’s all really simple,” Mickey said, “we could keep doing this for weeks, months even. We have all the time in the world, and now that the Captain is gone, there is nothing standing in our way. Your best option is to cooperate with us, otherwise it won’t end well for you.”

“And what has your Father done for you anyway?” Mickey asked as she slightly twisted the knife, causing the hippie to cry out. “If he’s so great, how come he hasn’t come for you or the rest of the freaks we have in here yet? How come he didn’t swoop in and save you from us?”

“He can only do so much,” the hippie gasped. 

“Then what’s so special about him?”

The hippie made no reply.

“Face it, you know you lost. You got nothing and you’ll gain nothing, except for maybe some new scars. You lost everything.”

“You’re wrong again,” the hippie said, and they began to laugh. Lou raised an eyebrow at them, but she was slowly growing uneasy. The hippies laughter keep throwing her off and she doesn’t get it, what do they find so funny?

“You are so wrong and you don’t even know it,” the hippie continued, “Don’t you see? I lost everything years before you even took a foot into Hope County. I lost everything and I have nothing to lose! And you both sit here, thinking you’re the worst thing to have happened to this county, but that’s not true, I’m worse. I’ve been kidnapped before. I’ve been drugged, and brainwashed, and tortured, and marked, and cleansed, I’ve killed so many innocent people, I am not below murdering the people I love, I have done that many times before. I tried to kill Rush and the Captain and nearly succeeded, but it took _the both of you_ to finish the job?!”

Mickey made no reply but the hippie wasn’t done yet.

“You’re not going to win, even if I die, you won’t win. This all has happened before and it is happening again, but it’ll all be fine because _you won’t win._ The Father has seen it and I have faith in what the Voice told him. I don’t give a shit if you kill me, I finished my part in all of this. I was like you, I thought I had it all figured out, that I could do anything I wanted, all because it was right, but I paid for my arrogance with blood. You both are going to suffer for what you have done, because none of you _listen!_ ”

The hippie laughed even more. Mickey quickly stood up and took a step back from them, leaving the knife in their leg as their laughter grew more hysterical.

“You’re fucking crazy,” Lou said to them.

“God fucking damn it,” Mickey said quietly. She reached down and grabbed the knife, pulling it out. The hippie’s scream was mixed in with their laughter, and the noise echoed loudly down the hall when Mickey opened the door, pushing Lou out.

“Patch them up. If they bleed out and die in there, I’ll make sure you’ll get what they got,” Mickey said to the guard outside, then began to walk, making her way down the hall before she turned right, entering the prison block.

There was a fence separating them from the rest of the prisoners in the block, the last shift of people who were working that night. Mickey walked down it a bit before Lou grabbed her arm and stopped her.

“I fucking told you we should of got rid of them!” Lou said, “we have other hippies running around here, let’s kill this one and get the others to give us answers!”

“We can’t just kill everything that annoys us, Lou, you know that!” Mickey turned to face her.

“Not when they’re doing THAT!” Lou pointed backwards from where they came from. Mickey shook her head.

“We’re not going to learn everything if we kill our prisoners every time they don’t cooperate,” Mickey said, “that’s why we break them.”

“And they’re already broken, all cause of that Father guy,” Lou said, “you heard the crazy shit they said, whoever that Joseph Seed is, he did something bad to them! We’re not going to get anything!”

“So we keep trying until we do!” Mickey said, “we wouldn’t have gotten as far as we did if we kept giving up over every little bump we come across. Pops wouldn’t of liked that.”

“So what, we wait until they finally keel over? I want results, Mickey,” Lou said. She crossed her arms. Damn she hated it when Mickey tried to act like she knew best, oldest twin and all that shit. Why couldn’t she see that maybe she was wrong for once? Lou certainly could only wonder how the Captain had dealt with the hippie’s company. They’re sick in the head, the Twins have many more hippies in the Bullet Farm, and if they won’t do what they say, they could always find more in the woods.

“I do too, that’s why we should approach this-“

“Sorry to bother you, ma’am,” one of their men had approached them cautiously and raised his arms when they turned to him.

“Can’t you see we’re fucking busy?” Mickey asked.

“Yeah- But, someone showed up. Someone who looks… important,” The Highwayman actually looked nervous. Lou’s interest was piqued.

“What do you mean important,” she asked, pushing past Mickey.

“I know you’ve been talking to the prisoner and- just go and see, you might like this,” The man said, and moved out of their way. Lou smirked at Mickey.

“See?” She said, “we might not even need the hippie after all.”

———————

“I don’t know, slick, sounds like you’re asking for a death sentence,” Irwin gave both him and Carmina looks before he continued.

“Besides, the last time I associated with you chumps, I almost had my ass handed to me by the Twins. What’s to say they won’t do worse if they found out I helped you break into the Bullet Farm?”

“The Twins think I’m dead,” Griffin said.

“Well, you have to realize, I gotta think about myself too-“

“So you’re scared?”

“What- no!” Irwin said, looking offended.

“Then help me out here, you owe me,” Griffin crossed his arms.

They were at the top of a hill not far from where the Bullet Farm was at, right where Griffin had asked Irwin to meet him. Griffin could see the prison where he was, just barely illuminated by the setting sun. In all honesty, Irwin and Kim were right, breaking into the Bullet Farm was a stupid idea, but Griffin needed this. This burden he has been carrying has become too big and he needs someone to share it with him. He can’t do this on his own.

Irwin studied Griffin for a little bit before he gave a huff.

“You got balls kid, I can give you that, seeing as they beat the shit outta ya and you still wanna throw yourself into the fight,” he said, gesturing at the scars on Griffin’s face, “I can respect that. Okay, I’ll help you, only cause it’ll help me in the long run, but if you get caught, it’s like I never existed, got it?”

“I never sell my friends out,” Griffin replied, frowning. Irwin looked taken aback.

“Friends-? Bah, just- here, put this on,” Irwin went over to his truck, one of the ones the Highwaymen transport their prisoners in, and pulled out an orange jumpsuit painted with the Highwaymen’s designs. 

“It’s the uniform. You’ll look just like everyone there, and since you’re dead, no one will be looking for ya.”

“Thanks,” Griffin said, and walked around the side of the truck.

“And leave your weapons too!” Irwin called. Griffin took off the flannel and put the jumpsuit on over everything else, hiding the knife in his jeans pocket, then zipped the suit up most of the way. He certainly didn’t like wearing the Highwaymen’s clothes. He tried not to think about how many people probably wore this uniform before him as he stepped around the truck again to go hand Carmina the rest of his things.

“Do you want me to come with you, Cap?” She asked, looking up at him in concern. Griffin smiled.

“No. Someone’s gotta continue the fight if I don’t make it out, and you’ve done a pretty good job so far, kid.”

“Please be careful!” Carmina said.

“Yeah, I will,” Griffin handed her his backpack.

“If I don’t make it out and the Judge does, give this to them for me, will you?”

“Cap-“

“Hey, slick! Get your ass in here!” Irwin yelled, getting into the truck.

“Irwin will be back in a moment, just keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?” Griffin said, and turned to the truck, climbing into the cage where Carmina closed and locked it’s door.

“Good luck,” she said, and the truck started up, then moved forward, driving through the trees until they were at the road.

“Okay, now listen to me, cause theres a few things you gotta know before I throw you to the dogs,” Irwin said, “the people who run the Bullet Farm? Lug heads, most of them, you should be able to trick them easy enough, so you shouldn’t get recognized. Now, I’m gonna bring you in and you just do what they say, don’t try to act like hot shit, trust me, they’ll notice that real quick and beat it right out of ya. Stay quiet and do what they say, okay? Just stick to the plan, and if you’re successful, then maybe you’ll want to work on another thing for me in the future.”

Griffin wanted to ask what he was planning but the trees slowly had become broken and soon they were at the edge of the radiation cloud, right where the Bullet Farm was located at.

Really convenient for Hope County to have a jail, the perfect place for a group of raiders like the Highwaymen to make their factory. The walls of the prison were crowded with guards, a couple of prisoners outside were working, chains on their ankles kept them close by.

Griffin took a deep breath. Ethan was right, this place was a fortress. The walls of the prison were incredibly dirty, but intact. Huge metal doors made from scraps blocked the entrance, and the hinges screeched as they were pulled open. This wasn’t going to be easy at all.

“Hey, Little Fucker! Fancy you being here today,” a woman stepped up to the truck.

“Yeah yeah,” Irwin said, not amused. Griffin wondered why they called him Little Fucker.

“How many are you bringing in today?”

“Just the one. A weak ass punk, but he’ll work if you make him,” Irwin said. Griffin scowled. Irwin could at least ease off a little on the insults.

“Okay. Hey, you, in the back!” The Highwaywoman called, “We’re opening the door! Step out, go through the gate, and if you do anything funny we will gut you, right here, right now.”

She didn’t give Griffin a chance to reply. Two other Highwaymen approached the truck and opened the door, waiting for Griffin to step out. He stood up and began to walk, but was pulled outside, almost falling onto the ground. A guard shoved him.

“Get moving,” The man said, and Griffin obliged, following the other Highwayman in front of him through a chain link fence and across the yard, into the prison entrance. He tried to look behind him at Irwin one last time, but another shove from the guard forced him to stare straight ahead.

The inside of the prison was painted white and empty. Piles of sand filled the corners of the hall and old wires hung from the ceiling, but besides that, it was generally clean. This surprised Griffin, he was used to the Highwaymen’s messy living style, but he wasn’t allowed much time to dwell on it before he was shoved forward again.

The guards led him over to the entrance of a prison block. To his right, he can see a barred window where another woman peered at him.

“New meat? God, this one looks stupid. Got a name?” She asked Griffin.

“Doesn’t matter,” she said before he could open his mouth, “not like you get to keep it. Let’s see, stupid face, stupid body, stupid hair? For your new name, let’s go with… Chudwaffle. Yeah, that suits ya! Okay, Chudwaffle, get inside and get to work!”

Chudwaffle, really? First Lollipop, now this? Griffin couldn’t help but admire the ridiculousness of the names they gave to people and things, I mean, they named places in Hope County things like the Chop Shop and the Pet Pen, But Jesus Christ, Chudwaffle? He knows they can do better.

Griffin was pushed into the block. The first thing he noticed was the tables lined up in front of him, row after row of people stood at them, making bullets.

“Get to work, Chudwaffle!” The woman yelled, and Griffin walked forward, finding an empty space to stand at. The man next to him gave Griffin an apologetic glance.

“Just do what they say, and you’ll live,” he said, “that’s all you need to do, just keep surviving.”

Griffin pressed his lips together but said nothing, starting his work on creating bullets, putting the finished ones into a container next to him. He wanted to do anything but this, but he has to blend in, just until he could find the Judge. He looked up every few moments, trying to see if they were in the room with him, but he couldn’t see them. He noticed one woman, however, who was glaring in his direction, but Griffin didn’t pay much attention to her. She’s not the Judge.

Griffin thought he may have heard screaming and laughing a few times, but he wasn’t so sure. It was hard to hear much over the scared chattering of the prisoner beside him and the clinking of freshly made bullets being tossed into boxes. It was boring work, but it gave him time to think.

So the Judge wasn’t in the prison block with him, that means they’re somewhere else, but where? Maybe another block? The jail didn’t look big enough to have more than one, but what does he know. Griffin has never been to prison before.

He looked up a few times at the woman near him, but she still was glaring at him as she worked. What’s her deal? Griffin looked away, thinking hard, when he heard something to his right.

“I fucking told you we should of got rid of them!”

Griffin felt intense anger in his gut when he heard Lou’s voice, that yellow glow instantly returned, but he kept himself still, listening to her and Mickey’s approaching footsteps, quietly working. They were arguing, from what he could tell.

“-you heard the crazy shit they said, whoever that Joseph Seed is, he did something bad to them! We’re not going to get anything!”

They were talking about the Judge. He felt relieved and listened more, seeing if they’ll say where they’re keeping them, but they never mentioned it. Another Highwayman approached them, interrupting their argument. Lou left with the man and Griffin chanced a glance up at their direction, accidentally making eye contact with Mickey.

He felt his heart skip a beat and quickly looked back down, tensed, waiting for the moment when guards were called over to grab him. He chanced a glance to his right and saw that Mickey had not moved, she was watching him-

“Hey, Mickey!” 

She turned and, after another pause, walked through the hall and out of sight. Griffin gave a huge sigh of relief as a buzzer went off overhead.

“Alright, you dipshits! Get the hell out of here! And no causing trouble on the way out, I’m looking at you, Chudwaffle!”

Griffin scowled, But he followed the Highwaywomen’s orders, lining up with the other prisoners stood a large metal door. He noticed that the woman from earlier was behind him, but she was silent.

They walked into another, smaller room as the door behind them closed. This room also had another metal door and at the moment the one they entered through closed, this one opened, showing a large yard with makeshift buildings. 

The place was a garbage fire. The buildings were made of trash and barely able to stand, sick and weak people were sitting around, huddling about to get warm. Griffin felt pity for all of them, but he didn’t have time to stand around and help them out. He had to find where the Judge was.

So he began to walk, looking into the buildings, the bathroom, everywhere, but the Judge, with or without the ugly orange jumpsuits everyone wore, was not around. Griffin gave a frustrated sigh, he’ll have to try the next one.

Griffin entered what he thought at first glance was an empty room, he was about to leave it before a figure came out from the shadows.

“You have a lot of nerves showing your ugly face around here,” The woman from earlier appeared. Griffin got a better look at her, she had a black mohawk and was only a little shorter than him, but he didn’t recognize her still.

“Do I know you?” He asked. The woman growled.

“You fucking should! You’re the reason why I was thrown in here in the first place!”

“Uh….?”

She did look familiar. The woman stood there for a moment longer before she grabbed him, yanking Griffin closer to her.

“Georgie! My name is Georgie! Remember, you took my fucking island from me!”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, right. I think I remember that.”

“Maybe I can beat your memory back into you? I’ve waited a long fucking time for this, pal. I’ve been dying to get my hands on you.”

“Hold on,” Griffin shoved Georgie away from him and stood back up straight. She glared at him.

“I thought you were a Highwayman? Why are you here?” he asked.

“Because of you, dumb ass, didn’t I just fucking say that!?” Georgie yelled, “the Twins were not too happy that I didn’t keep the Island, so they fucking threw me in here, told me I should of tried harder to defend it. Well, I’m not gonna die for a rock in the middle of nowhere, I like being alive, but thanks to you, you ruined a really good thing I had going on!”

“Right,” Griffin said. He was slowly growing frustrated. He didn’t have time to stand around and listen to Georgie vent. The Twins sounded like they were ready to get rid of the Judge and Griffin doesn’t see them anywhere out here and he doesn’t have answers, nor any way to navigate the prison. If only he was able to talk to Irwin or had another ally with him...

“You want out of here?” Griffin asked suddenly. Georgie bristled.

“Are you threatening me?”

“No, I’m asking if you want to get out of jail!”

“Wh- Of fucking course! In case you haven't noticed, this place is a nightmare! I want out and I want to rip those fucking Twins throats out! And yours-“

“Okay, I get it, I suck. Listen, I don’t have time to hang around and get in a fight with you. The Twins don’t know I’m alive, but they took a friend of mine. I want to break them out and I want you to help,” Griffin explained.

“Why would I help you?” Georgie asked.

“Cause if you help me and tell me what you know, I’ll break the three of us out. You can come with us, go to Prosperity. You can start over.”

“That’s what you want to do, wave your hand and think you can just make my problems fly away?” Georgie said.

“Would you rather be stuck in here making bullets for the rest of your life?” Griffin asked.

Georgie thought for a moment. 

“You know what, rabbit, I’ve reconsidered beating your face in,” She finally said, “Let’s call it a truce, for now at least. You break me out of here, and I’ll help you find your friend, and maybe I’ll forgive you for ruining my life too.”

“Great,” Griffin said. He leaned against the rooms wall.

“We don’t have much time. Tell me everything you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this was originally gonna be one chapter for the whole Bullet Farm arc but I separated in two, next chapter is just about 10 thousand words and it doesn’t need to be too long.
> 
> Look, the Judge is back!
> 
> Title is from Friends by Brick and Mortar.
> 
> Also, as a reminder, I do have a To Hope Playlist with all the songs I title my chapters with!
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/irxeg64mmu4pyfmn40z75pe2x/playlist/0ChBqevIp7KwPQUXHpSCY8?si=cSXbe45dQTKs-5dYCHHXcA
> 
> I also talk a lot about Griffin and Anna May/the Judge on my Twitter at hawkfurze a lot of you guys are interested in that kind of thing

**Author's Note:**

>  _I can't trust anyone or anything these days_  
>  If you are who you say you are then show me your face  
> Know enough to say you are not what you claim to be  
> I've kept close watch upon you and I don't like what I see
> 
>  
> 
> I'm titling every Chapter with a lyric from a song on my Deputy's playlist, but ye, I'm back again on more Far Cry bullshit. I've been wanting to give my Deputy a proper ending and I beaten New Dawn and got a pretty good idea of how I want her story to end, so I'm just gonna write it and see how it turns out. Anyway, bear with me on this, Ok, I'm gonna try my best.
> 
> Also, I'm not gonna heavily reference in game dialogue like I did in this beginning part through the whole thing, i wanted to start this think where the story left off in Far Cry 5, but other than that, I won't be doing that again.
> 
> I also took the liberty on changing some in cannon things in New Dawn. Nobody knows the Judge is the Deputy in my fic and they're not so, I guess, obedient to Joseph? They're still pretty dependent on him, but I'll be explaining more of their relationship in later Chapters.
> 
> Title for this Chapter is from The Stranger by Lord Huron, which is a really good song for any Judge inspiration if you need it.


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